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1 year ago today...(O/T)

Starlit_Cazza

Restart 3/9/2013
S: 24st9lb C: 18st1lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 6st8lb(26.67%)
#1
1 year ago today I packed up my life and walked out on an emotionally abusive partner. No mean feat when you consider that I was living in his house 150 miles from my family, and my daughter was just 12 weeks old at the time.

A hell of a lot has happened in the last 12 months, not least me becoming more and more aware over the months just how incredibly unhealthy our relationship was. Funnily enough when you are living it is easy to just compromise and accept things that, if someone else told you they were going through the same thing, you would recoil in horror.

My daughter and I have our lives and our routines now. We have a house (rented but a house is a house), I have a decent job with some wonderful colleagues, my family are nearby and supportive, and I am finally losing the weight I have carried around for far too many years. I could never have lost the weight when I was with my ex - my self esteem was non-existant and I ate for comfort.

Most importantly (despite everything that has happened recently) I am one hell of alot happier than I was this time last year :D My ex is no longer a part of our lives - his choice.

Sorry like I said completely off topic, just in reflective mood
 
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#2
I so admire you, for having the guts to just get up and walk out, it must be a very hard thing to do.

And i'm glad that over the past 12 months all has worked out for you.

Onwards and upwards is the way to go
 
#3
What a story (has made me blub) and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for making a life after going through a lot with a abusive partner. It really does make us a hell of a lot more stronger.
 

cicerone

Cambridge Diet Counsellor
S: 11st0lb C: 11st0lb G: 9st7lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#4
Hi, Its not until you are out of the bad situations, and can look back, reflect, and then you can realise and appreciate just how far you have come.

Hope you have a great day today, and well done x
 

munkypooh

Warning-Contains Nuts
S: 16st0lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 24 Loss: 5st10lb(35.71%)
#5
Glad to hear you have found happiness again after going through all that. Just imagine what another year in your new positive life could bring! :)
 
#6
That was a brave step to take. Well done on having the guts to do it when you did, for your sake and for your daughters. I hope the future holds loads more good stuff for you both.
Lynne x
 

Starlit_Cazza

Restart 3/9/2013
S: 24st9lb C: 18st1lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 6st8lb(26.67%)
#7
What a story (has made me blub) and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for making a life after going through a lot with a abusive partner. It really does make us a hell of a lot more stronger.
Sorry didnt mean to make you blub :) It has all worked out for the best and I don't regret leaving for a minute. In fact if I have one regret it is that I didnt leave 6 months earlier, but I thought that it was just a blip and things would get better.

You live and learn!
 
#8
Sorry didnt mean to make you blub :) It has all worked out for the best and I don't regret leaving for a minute. In fact if I have one regret it is that I didnt leave 6 months earlier, but I thought that it was just a blip and things would get better.

You live and learn!
Been where you were but no kids admittedly, but my expartner was emotionally abusive and physically sadly and I used drugs to live in my own reality. It took another beating before i battered him and packed my bags and left.
Thankfully 7 years on I have a amazing husband and children. The whole experience has changed my life and likie you only wish i had left sooner!

Its why i love hearing of women that took control of their lives and enjoying them.
 
#9
Wow……….!!! Your story has really touched a nerve (don’t know why).
Well flaming done and what a moving post.
I’m sure anyone reading that and in a similar situation will gain courage to think of doing the same.

With that strength and determination you’re sure to achieve what ever goal you set yourself!!

Good luck

 
#10
well done hun for doing whats right for you and the babs :) most of took some courage to do it, fair play to you. at least you have your familly now around you and everything, so happy that you are happy hun :hug99: x
 

Starlit_Cazza

Restart 3/9/2013
S: 24st9lb C: 18st1lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 6st8lb(26.67%)
#11
Its why i love hearing of women that took control of their lives and enjoying them.
Unfortunately there are so many who don't, who would rather stay in abusive relationships than be on their own.

My partner never physically hurt me, but the emotional abuse has certainly left its own scars. But they are healing every day and every day I am stronger
 

sumayyah

please try again
S: 23st6lb C: 17st7lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 44.8 Loss: 5st13lb(25.3%)
#12
i was one of those who stayed in a physically abusive relationship bish, took me till my daughter was 5 months and ill in hospital with him trying to get docs to pull the plug on her for me to leave and even longer to get a grip on my life and make the move back towards my family so admire you for taking control long before it got to that point

i left my ex 3 years ago and only now is my life looking up again, new partner, happy daughter and back on cambridge :)
 

Starlit_Cazza

Restart 3/9/2013
S: 24st9lb C: 18st1lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 6st8lb(26.67%)
#13
Sorry made it sound a bit black and white and didnt mean too :( I know there are those who can't leave a relationship, I know there are those who choose not to, and I know there are those who have to wait until the right moment.

My life is definately looking up, but there is a long way to go yet. I have fantasies of running in to my ex when I am 12 stone down and in a size 10 :) Just to show him what he is missing lol.
 

sumayyah

please try again
S: 23st6lb C: 17st7lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 44.8 Loss: 5st13lb(25.3%)
#14
bish looking back i was so stupid not to go.
he tried to burn the house down with me in it, i ran in the night in my pj's, ended up hiding on an army base but still ended up going back to him cos he was diagnosed with depression, heck knows why i did and he hadnt changed. if it wasnt for my wee girl i probebly wouldnt be here now

its awful when the person who's supposed to love you and keep you safe is the one doing you the damage (((hugs )))
 

Starlit_Cazza

Restart 3/9/2013
S: 24st9lb C: 18st1lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 6st8lb(26.67%)
#15
Its easy to look back now though and wonder why we stayed so long though isn't it? At least you are out of it now and a hell of a lot better off for it
 

msblonde

a new way of living!
S: 12st11lb C: 11st8.5lb G: 8st3lb BMI: 29.7 Loss: 1st2.5lb(9.22%)
#16
well done bish.

about ten years ago i did the same, again i was not physically hurt but emotionally beaten to a pulp, i remember waj=king up one day and him not being there, and thinking, this is my day, my life, i can do what i want!

it was amazing! like being born again and seeing the world for the first time.

i was with the w.a.f.t (waste of fricking time) for 11 years!!! we met when i was 15yrs old and thought no one else would ever want me.

then at 26 (almost 27) we were living togehter (no kids luckily as that would have been harder) and he came home, after doing drugs, and that was it - enough!

he found his belongings on the front step 3 months later.

I have never looked back!

enjoy the rest of YOUR life, squeze every last drop out of each and every day!

love love love x
 

Starlit_Cazza

Restart 3/9/2013
S: 24st9lb C: 18st1lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 6st8lb(26.67%)
#18
Its that wonderful realisation that I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than with a man who treated me like that. The day I left (I waited until he had left for work then packed everything up and left before he got back) was such a massive weight off my shoulders. It was bloody tough for a few months, but the fact is that it gets easier every day.

The last few days have been tough for me, remembering how horrid it was last year, and I will be honest I have been dreading today. But it has been a hell of a better day than I had expected
 

coley144

Creating my life
S: 21st9lb C: 14st7lb G: 12st7lb Loss: 7st2lb(33%)
#19
The one advantage of bad things that we get through is that we learn so much from them. A lot of wisdom comes from those times and, hopefully, we then apply it later on.

It doesn't make up for those harsh lessons but it helps a bit I think!
 


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