5 days into changing my life. . .

[demonp]

I thought that it was about time started to do my own diary-hopefully it will help me to keep focused and, who knows, maybe it might help/entertain someone else as other peoples diaries have motivated me. So.. I have about 4 stone to lose. 5 years ago when pregnant with my first i was about 7 stone heavier. When i first lost that weight it was great. I loved all the positive comments and felt great. But then it just stopped and i could feel old habits creeping back. Secret eating,grazing,eating out,keeping m&s food hall profits up rather than cooking. Something just snapped in me and i thought that"no, Im not going back there". I wanted quick results that would allow me to get to where i need to be and then maintain-so i chose cd. So far, i have ups and downs. I've only had one day when i felt really hungry but with the brilliant support of people on this site i got through it. When i stop and think about it i actually get really scared. I have been dieting since the age of 6-seriously! I've done pretty much everything and over the past 10 years my poor hubby has heard me say" right-from Monday, that's it-healthy eating" about a million times. He has supported of and helped of all the way-even with this one he is helping me fund it so i really want to do it for him too. My biggest motivation though is my kids. There are so many things that i didn't do in my life due to my weight and body issues. I will not let these things get in the way of of doing anything with them! So, i need to shift it quick. I think that's enough rambling for my first entry,.apologies that its a bit boring-think i just needed to put in writing what i have been feeling. My weight loss should be even better now after dumping all that emotional Poo! For now, there's a bottle of fizzy water with my name on it. Night. X

 

[bluegirl]

Hi DemonP and welcome. So much of your past and experices could be mine, and could be that of so many of us on here so I know you will feel at home x

 

[LeaE]

Hey demonp x love the new diary and no yr not boring I love hr posts x good luck hunny yr doing great xx

 

[demonp]

Hi DemonP and welcome. So much of your past and experices could be mine, and could be that of so many of us on here so I know you will feel at home x

Thanks bluegirl. It's funny isn't it-as a "larger" person you can feel quite isolated and alone at times and then you come on a site like this and you discover that there are thousands of other people who have exactly the same food demons as you-suddenly you feel far from alone on your journey. Thanks for the support and good luck. X

 

[demonp]

Hey demonp x love the new diary and no yr not boring I love hr posts x good luck hunny yr doing great xx

Thanks LeahE. To be honest, your diary was one of the ones that inspired me to do my own so thanks. X. Going to go back to the gym for the first time today since starting this journey-not looking forward to it-hence why Im on this site now-delay tactics! Would so love to be one of those people who love the gym- i dread it every day. Never mind- got to do it if Im going to keep up with the kids! Weigh in day tomorrow. . .fingers crossed. X

 

[Rkmriddell]

I also could have written your diary myself....

Good luck for tomorrow, is that your first weigh in? x

 

[demonp]

I also could have written your diary myself....

Good luck for tomorrow, is that your first weigh in? x

Day 6-Hi Rkmriddell! Yes tomorrow will be my first weigh in. Really nervous now. I've got a lot riding on this and am starting to panic about what i will do if i haven't lost a good amount. Im worried that those old monster thoughts of "well i might as well not bother trying" will sneak back. And that's exactly how i see my eating problem-a tummy monster inside me. I know exactly what you need to do to lose weight. I know what you should eat and how you should exercise. But then, the tummy monster takes over my head and i am out of control. I love the whole food shopping experience (incidentally i have clothes shopping). I find the process a real buzz. Then going home knowing that i have all that food to eat. I like to have lots of different bits of food to eat-ie nibbles, starter, main course, pudding. We are not talking huge portions here, or any junk foods or take always-ironically, places like mac d or fish and chips are of no interest to me-just lots of courses of rich food . I had got this sort of eating down to just weekends, but then it had started to creep back in during the afternoon. Literally i would eat any bad food i could find in the kitchen. Then afterwards- when the drunkenness of the tummy monster had worn off, i would be disgusted with myself and miserable with my appearance. Every day was a mental battle with of and the tummy monster. I tried hypnotherapy to tame the monster but unfortunately it didn't work. Being on this diet makes me feel like i have control of the monster-each day that i stick to it i feel that i am slowly destroying the monster. Every now and again it gives a little yell sending thoughts of all the foods i want to eat. . .but for now Im ignoring it and not feeding it by watching any cooking programmes..,but i know that it is always there, waiting in the wings for a moment of weakness.
I sound a bit bonkers don't i but writing all this down is acting as great therapy for me as its making me realise exactly what has been keeping me from succeeding in the past.
So, thus far its 6-0 to me. . . 6days of sticking to the diet- 0 days of the tummy monster making me eat. The war is on! Bring on the weigh in tomorrow! Good luck to everyone. May you all beat your tummy monsters too. X x x

 

[Rkmriddell]

You don't sound bonkers. You sound exactly like me!!!

Don't stress about your result you will have a great result and that will push you through xxx

 

[Committed]

Great diary, I can completely sympathise with you. I have a tummy monster too and I want it to melt away. Every day is a day closer to feeling happy with yourself. Keep on going and I hope you have a good loss

 

[demonp]

You don't sound bonkers. You sound exactly like me!!!

Don't stress about your result you will have a great result and that will push you through xxx

Thanks hun. Determined to think positive now-positive thoughts =positive results. What ever happens tomorrow at least i know i am doing something. Thanks for your support-it is brilliant and much appreciated. Hope your day is going well!? X

 

[demonp]

Great diary, I can completely sympathise with you. I have a tummy monster too and I want it to melt away. Every day is a day closer to feeling happy with yourself. Keep on going and I hope you have a good loss

Thanks so much. It is reassuring to hear that i am not the only owner of a tummy monster-nasty little ******* aren't they! Good luck beating yours! Thanks again for your support. X

 

[Rkmriddell]

Thanks hun. Determined to think positive now-positive thoughts =positive results. What ever happens tomorrow at least i know i am doing something. Thanks for your support-it is brilliant and much appreciated. Hope your day is going well!? X

Definitely!! Cd will amaze you how much you eat with your head or senses rather than your tummy. It did me anyway. I just forgot that somewhere in the last few weeks and have restarted to move the last of my weight and refocus again. I understand now how important it is to carry it out all of the steps though. Day one done and headache has arrived along with the insomnia lol. Joy x keep going x

 

[demonp]

Definitely!! Cd will amaze you how much you eat with your head or senses rather than your tummy. It did me anyway. I just forgot that somewhere in the last few weeks and have restarted to move the last of my weight and refocus again. I understand now how important it is to carry it out all of the steps though. Day one done and headache has arrived along with the insomnia lol. Joy x keep going x

Bless you-you really are suffering with insomnia to be writing at that time of the morning! You have my sympathy, there is nothing worse than not being able to sleep. I know Im teaching you to suck eggs-but keep drinking that water-you know it will stop those headaches. Im so impressed that you have restarted-that takes guts and determination and it really sounds like not have both-this time you will beat that tummy monster!
So, weigh in day has arrived,-1930. Bring it on! I've realised that hue gone from constantly thinking about food and what i am going to eat next, to constantly thinking am i in ketosis, what will the scales say,how is everyone getting on on minim? Honestly, when ever i get a spare minute now Im on this site looking for inspiration and motivation and i always find it. The people on this site are amazing. As for the ketosis-well the sticks say are a mid purple-now getting colour obsessed- i want dark purple! ! : ) good luck to anyone out there-no doubt after weigh in i will have plenty to say. Here's to another day of beating the tummy monster! X

 

[Rkmriddell]

Bless you-you really are suffering with insomnia to be writing at that time of the morning! You have my sympathy, there is nothing worse than not being able to sleep. I know Im teaching you to suck eggs-but keep drinking that water-you know it will stop those headaches. Im so impressed that you have restarted-that takes guts and determination and it really sounds like not have both-this time you will beat that tummy monster!
So, weigh in day has arrived,-1930. Bring it on! I've realised that hue gone from constantly thinking about food and what i am going to eat next, to constantly thinking am i in ketosis, what will the scales say,how is everyone getting on on minim? Honestly, when ever i get a spare minute now Im on this site looking for inspiration and motivation and i always find it. The people on this site are amazing. As for the ketosis-well the sticks say are a mid purple-now getting colour obsessed- i want dark purple! ! : ) good luck to anyone out there-no doubt after weigh in i will have plenty to say. Here's to another day of beating the tummy monster! X

Thanks hun im Glugging away! Good luck with WI. I'm exited to hear how you do!! I wouldn't worry about the sticks, the amount you're drinking will dilute your urine so the results won't be as strong. If you are feeling less hungry etc each day then you are in ketosis. X

 

[demonp]

Thanks hun im Glugging away! Good luck with WI. I'm exited to hear how you do!! I wouldn't worry about the sticks, the amount you're drinking will dilute your urine so the results won't be as strong. If you are feeling less hungry etc each day then you are in ketosis. X

Thanks hun-hope you are doing ok today?
So, weigh in yesterday. . 7lbs off and do you know something ridiculous-i was actually disappointed at the time! I had been seeing everyone else losing close to stone and i wanted the same, which i now appreciate is silly as we all have different starting weight and amounts to lose. If i put on 7lbs in a week i would think it was loads! Now i just have 3-3.5 stone to lose. If i lost 7 each week i would be there in no time. I used to watch the biggest loser and get so cross with them when they were moaning about only losing a few pounds, and there i was doing the same. Anyway, I've had a good talk to myself and now am pleased. Tried the chicken and mushrooms soup last night-really like it thank goodness. So-it is all systems go again. Tummy monster tried to raise its ugly head last night when i made my poorly hubby some toast but i told it to 'do one' and diluted its cries to eat with a pint of water and it crawled back into its hole-! 8-nil to me. Slowly but surely i am starting to have faith in myself that this time, it really will be different-i will win. Toodles. X

 

[demonp]

Ps. Green tongue. Mouth tasting metallic. Please tell me that this is ketosis kicking in and not that i am transforming into some kind of green tongued robot!

 

[jojo73]

That's ketosis yipeeeee x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[demonp]

That's ketosis yipeeeee x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Hurrah! Burn fat burn! X

 

[therealbbe]

Hiya demon 7 lbs Oh my God that is amazing I have weighin Friday I just hope I lose something like that and in ketosis all going good then. Hope you have a fab week
Luv Sharon x

 

[Rkmriddell]

Thanks hun-hope you are doing ok today?
So, weigh in yesterday. . 7lbs off and do you know something ridiculous-i was actually disappointed at the time! I had been seeing everyone else losing close to stone and i wanted the same, which i now appreciate is silly as we all have different starting weight and amounts to lose. If i put on 7lbs in a week i would think it was loads! Now i just have 3-3.5 stone to lose. If i lost 7 each week i would be there in no time. I used to watch the biggest loser and get so cross with them when they were moaning about only losing a few pounds, and there i was doing the same. Anyway, I've had a good talk to myself and now am pleased. Tried the chicken and mushrooms soup last night-really like it thank goodness. So-it is all systems go again. Tummy monster tried to raise its ugly head last night when i made my poorly hubby some toast but i told it to 'do one' and diluted its cries to eat with a pint of water and it crawled back into its hole-! 8-nil to me. Slowly but surely i am starting to have faith in myself that this time, it really will be different-i will win. Toodles. X

Wow 7lbs is fantastic. Don't read too much into the first number as it really depends how mug water weight you hold and everyone is different. Plus you might not have eaten as badly in the run up as others. It's a great result and I'm pleased that you've made your peace with it 8-0 fantastic come find our team ideal and join hun x