A little Deep

Discussion in 'Weight Watchers - Off Topic' started by Jojobear, 20 May 2011 Social URL.

  1. Jojobear

    Jojobear Full Member

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    Does anyone else suffer with a mild or strong case of alcoholism? I tend to drink quite a bit and my brother tells me "you are fat because you drink "

    I think " I drink because I am fat"
    My dad was an alcoholic but I didnt meet him until I was 9. My mother was pregnant on me when she kicked him out and I thank her to this day for it because my best friends parents are both alco's and I see how it affected her life and her siblings.

    I drink at the weekend but I binge drink , I mostly drink bulmers/magners and when they are gone i will drink anything. I have gone to therapists and all they do is make me cry. they bring up my dad.. who i never knew and wants to be in contact , my mams boyfriend of 12 years who died of cancer that cheated on my mother , I adored the ground he walked on.

    My relationship with food is basically greed.. I dont feel hungry but I want it.

    Same when I was thin , I wanted , Dior , Chanel .. anything that made me feel pretty , I had a good job , very good wages , brains to burn and now...

    I am unemployed , fat and lonely. My last boyfriend lasted 6 months.. we drank one night and I made pasta loaded with cheese and he said "thats not going to do you any good" and "someone has to tell you" I dumped him the next day.. I was skinny and I was beautiful I refuse to be treated this way just because I gained weight. (by the way I gained weight from 1st and 2nd degree burns on my legs due to a hot water bottle bursting on my thighs.. followed by depression and anxiety as I had lost a job I loved 3 weeks before due to the recession in 2009)

    I doubt anyone will relate but I am pissed off , and venting and isnt that what this site is for.

    ps. I chopped my baby finger off when i was 3
    I miscarried due to blood not matching with my boyfriend of five years who i loved
    I lost my career

    Whats left?
     
    Last edited: 23 May 2011
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  3. Jojobear

    Jojobear Full Member

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    I am so pathetic
     
  4. Trefoil

    Trefoil Gold Member

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    Please please don't feel like this!

    You've had it rough I can see that and I'm not sure if I can help you but you're not pathetic its just been difficult and I think you've done really well so far.
    Do you think your in the correct frame of mind to do WW? Is there anyone you can talk to-like your leader or anyone (not your brother!) About goals and a way of managing things to take it steady?
    Also have you seen your gp? I'm no expert but I wonder whether some antidepressants may help? Your brother is making things worse you need support not someone taunting you.

    Hope this helps. PM me anytime.

    Ruth
    X
     
  5. Jojobear

    Jojobear Full Member

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    I was pretty ;(
     

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  6. Trefoil

    Trefoil Gold Member

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    Wow you're stunning! What a lovely pic! My avatar is nearly 4st away from where I am now so try and use your picture as something to inspire you.

    You still are pretty- you're the same person :)

    Ruth
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  7. Jojobear

    Jojobear Full Member

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    Hi Ruth
    Sorry I am just venting, but yes I was on anti depressant and anxiety medication but it made me numb , My brother is good in a way because we grew up with alcohalism but hes not like me , I am compulsive , i either drink to much or eat to much , last time i saw my dad i was 14 , and i think whatever I had I got it from him.

    My mother drank when we were kids and yes it affected me but she only did it out of sadness and lonelyness , she had two small kids on her own and no money.

    I have slight OCD i want it and need it. aww i cant explain it im sorry.
     
  8. Jojobear

    Jojobear Full Member

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    ruth as soon as i saw your pic , (and i saw it it the other day in you diary) i though you ARE beautiful , you really are. im sorry. im ranting! that pic was taken in 2008 when i was happy. A guy I babysitted for 8 years killed himself that year.. and i dunno ..my brother thinks I subconcuisly reacted to it a different way as my anxiety around people changed. (spelling is wrong i know) i lost myself that day and i never came back. i gained all the weight from there. maybe i know why he felt that way? maybe i know how he couldnt stop himself..? i dunno. it ended in 2008. skinny me ended in december 2008
     
  9. yummymummy75

    yummymummy75 Silver Member

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    oh i don't know what to say but your still you and things affect everyone in different ways,,maybe go back to the doctor again and explain how you feel..i know crying is painful but it's good too to get it out and start dealing with some of the issues..
     
  10. Jojobear

    Jojobear Full Member

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    Can this be deleted please?
     
  11. yummymummy75

    yummymummy75 Silver Member

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    go back and edit your first post then delet all the words:)
     
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