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A Turkish Girls Diary, who is living in London

Oh hello guys :),
From tomorrow l will begin my diet to lose weight.
I am 80.9kg and 170 cms tall, so 5.7.

I have put on 5 kilos weight since l have been living in London...You have everywhere fastfood shops etc. And l dont have a selfcontroll anymore.

It makes me just down, l feel me kind of rubbish, l am unemployed and single for a looooooooooong long time, and l actually wanted to start to study in London, but l havent started to study, because l dont have enough money, again because l am unemployed.

All these factors make me down, at the moment l just hate everything and l HATE MYSELF:cry:.

I have to change my bloody life, l will begin with my ugly weight.

I am going to write everyday my feeling and OF COURSE what l will be eating and doing etc.

Wish me luck!

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S: 16st6lb C: 10st12lb G: 10st3lb BMI: 26.1 Loss: 5st8lb(33.91%)

Good luck with losing weight!!!

Nas x
Good luck, what plan are you going to follow or are you doing your own?
Yes, l want to my own + I want report everything here on a daily basis :), which is l am sure very helpful to be NOT a naughty girl :p.

I have read a book :
I Can Make You Thin by Paul McKenna.

I think this is the best way to lose weight,
how he tells in the book, but l still want to do with no junc food and fried food or just once a week, l think , l can forbid myself everything.

Anyway today at 7.45-7.50 am l ate 2 slices of wholemeal toast bread with a bit butter and unfortunetely 125 gr white cheese and 1 tomato. Okay the cheese was too much...Anyway l could have eaten more like before, so l think, l am all right.

But what the hell l should do as a sport?:break_diet:
I must do somehting, but its too rainy ,l dont want jog, l dont want go to swim its too cold...I am unemployed l cant go to apply for these gyms...

Anyway l keep my mood in a positive way, thats why today after my breakfast l listened 1 hour my favourite songs and of ocurse sang , that was cool :cool:

For Yesterday (05.October): For lunch l did from 300 gr spinach and 1 onion stir fry and ate it with 1/4 chicken and 3 slice of bread, I ate really much, l didnt do How Paul it tell in his book. I did overeating!
Its so embarrassing and l pigged out yesterday really....

And in the evening although l WAST hungry at all, l ate 1 quarter pounder meal with 3 marshmellows and 3 cookies and something else, it was just too much.

Yesterday it was just stupid of me...

Today is another day, now l am at work (for this week l got a temp job, from today till Friday) for breakfast l ate 2 slices of wholemeal bread 1 half avocado , just a tiny bit butter and 1 small slice of gouda (roughyl 40 gr).

For my luch l have eaten again 2 slices of wholemeal bread with a bit butter and 1 tomato and a small slice of gouda.

Now l am not hungry, NOT at all,l feel me all right. And today l am not gonna be a pig again! I really want to eat, if l am really hungry, not if l am sad or desperate or depressed!

Although l have to tell something as well, how you know,l am unemployed and sometimes l get temp jobs, and last week l had an interview for a perm job by a very big international company, if l will get the job l will earn 17.800 till 18.200 per year, which is very good for me, but....

I lied somethings in my CV and now they called me back and tol dme, that they want to give me the job, but first they want to call my references....

Oh l hate it!Finally l got a perm job and they want to call my references....I am sure, l am not getting that job, because of this l feel me kind of down, its so sad, if you dont have a proper job and its so rubbish, l wanted to satrt to study in London, but l cant, because l dont have money etc.

I am just upsetting myself and my mom!

Anyway what should l do? I have to respect this situation and try to get another job and in the meantime, l should not eat like a pig...I dont want be anymore miss piggy.

The more l eat and gain weight, the worst l feel myself, l am not so confident anymore, l have very low self-esteem, l just begin to hate myself and everything.

Overeating kills my soul and my ability to live in a better way.

I really want to lose weight!And l think, l can do it, l have to occupied myself with other things than thinking baout food or upsetting myself, l have to think positive, thats why yesterday (although l was a lil piggy) l hear more than 2 hours music, to calm down and think positive.

Today l am at work, if l go to home, l will listen again music and read a novel and check some vocabulary, l want to improve my English as well...At 10 pm, l want go bed and sleep!:)


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