Anger

Discussion in 'Cambridge Diet 100% Posts!' started by Watergirl, 22 May 2009 Social URL.

  1. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    I was sat on the toilet, as you do, having a think about how my attitude has changed lately.

    Since I put on weight I think I've been quite an angry person. Always quick to fly off the handle and had a bit of a temper. Since I've lost a bit of weight I've been feeling much calmer.

    It's made me think that I wasn't actually angry at anyone or anything, but I was angry at myself and disliked myself.

    I've felt like this for such a long time that it was a bit of a moment earlier when I realised that I actually quite like myself all of a sudden.

    Has anyone else felt that they've had anger issues in the past and that it might have been related to how they feel about themselves.

    Hope this isn't too deep!
     
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  3. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    Yes, i know exactly what you mean. Although I have always had a fiery temper. My ex boyfriend used to infuriate me and irritate me in the silliest and slightest ways.

    I am a lot happier now than I ever was, I just cant wait for the moment I jump on the scales and they read my target weight. I am going to be so, so happy! Anyone got a time machine? :)
     
  4. Louie lou

    Louie lou Full Member

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    Weight does change the way you act, for me it’s trying to melt into the background and not be noticed.
    Before the weight I was self assured, put myself forward at work and got to be a departmental manager for 9 years before being made redundant.
    By the time I left there the weight had started to creep on and I was quite happy to just keep to myself.
    I don’t go to work events if I can help it and try not to go out where I need to dress up.
    I don’t like myself in any cloths and dressy cloths most of all.
    Holidays are a nightmare, first of all it’s the plane, I always think people are hoping that I won’t be sitting by them, then it’s the walk in and out of the pool(horrendous). :jelous:


    This is the last year I will feel like this.
     
  5. Luci-De-Milo

    Luci-De-Milo is going to do this!

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    Omg this is EXACTLY how I've been! Especially with my boyfriend, I've been really snappy and really quick tempered. I've been thinking about it a lot recently and I've realised why.

    I think it's for a variety of reasons, firstly because for the simple reason I was unhappy. And when I was unhappy, I just wanted to be left alone, whilst my boyfriend (correctly) wanted to talk about things. So I'd snap at him.
    Secondly because I was angry with myself for letting this happen, I was angry that it HAD happened and angry because I felt like I could never get back to how I was before. It's like if my boyfriend and I ever had an argument, I would take it to a level it never needed to go to because I had all this pent up emotion and anger, and I didn't want to stop arguing because I just needed to get it all out, so I made things worse.
    Thirdly, because of jealousy and resentment. The jealousy thing was mad because I'm so not like that. I actually went through a stage of being convinced he fancied my older sister because she came back from uni and had lost some weight. Any girl on TV as well, if she was thin, it would stir something up in me. And it annoyed me even more because it was MY fault he ''fancied them''. It's odd cos looking back it wasn't even about him and I don't think I really believed deep down he fancied any of them, it was just about me wanting to be slim again. And as for resentment, I resented my sister for losing weight whilst I had put it on, I used to resent pretty much everyone who was slim.

    It's so unhealthy to think like that, and it's a little crazy, but I can see now that because all this was going on in my head, and plus I knew it was my fault for putting on the weight, I had all these insecurities that had built up and no-one to talk to about it because I was in total denial about my weight gain. It was just everything was bottled up, and so arguing with people and just letting go of loads of emotion just made me feel better, I didn't even feel bad for snapping at people really because it just made ME feel better.

    Since losing weight, I've felt lighter. Not just physically, but mentally. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I'm getting back to how I was before, not being all horrible and snappy but just being ME again. I don't feel like I need to argue with people anymore because I know I'm doing something about it and I know it's coming off. I'm going to really work hard to make it up to everyone around me who I've been a total cow to for the past few years because I don't know how they put up with it! I wasn't like it all the time, but it's so different to what I'm usually like... I'm so pleased I did CD and can get back to how I was before.

    Sorry that was far too long lol xxx
     
  6. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Not too long at all Luci. A lot of what you says makes complete sense to me.

    Hadn't even thought about the jealousy, but I've never been a jealous person until I put on weight. When I met my BF I was a size 12 and couldn't have cared less if he looked at people.

    Once I put the weight on I became completely paranoid that he fancied everyone apart from me. Interestingly, unless I thought a girl was attractive it didn't bother me. Like if he'd have paid lots of attention to, oh I don't know, Renee Zelwegger, I wouldn't have minded.

    If I thought someone was stunning I'd assume that he did too and it killed me inside. Now I am starting to feel better about myself I feel so different.
     
  7. Luci-De-Milo

    Luci-De-Milo is going to do this!

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    That's EXACTLY how I was! I've never been jealous before, I hated feeling like it cos it so wasn't me. I just kept thinking if I noticed the girl was attractive, he must do too, and is probably thinking "why can't she be like that".

    I've started to get my confidence back now and it's really what I need. And what my poor boyfriend needs!!
     
  8. Angela83

    Angela83 Silver Member

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    This is also me and my HB !!!
     
  9. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    OMG i have soo found this thread on the right day!!
    For a while now i have had a problem with my ds's ( aged 9 and 5) bickering and arguing and its been really getting to me. i dont always have the answer and feel as their mum that i should, so this makes me feel like a failure as a mum. So i get annoyed and binge, in addition to ranting at them and blowing the whole thing out of proportion. i now realise that i'm not angry at them I'm angry with myself for a whole load of reasons. I know its gonna lead to a binge and am angry at the lack of self control, then there's the guilt of taking it all out on the girles and blowing the whole think waaaay out of proprtion. There has been an incdent of this today and poor hubby has come home to find me in tears, at the end of my tether with it all

    i hope that makes sense and thank you all for at least making me see that i'm not the only one who does this. That in itself is a light at the end of the tunnel
     
  10. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Hey Mommy (with the cat that looks like my cat Trinity :) )
    Sounds like you've had a cr*ppy day. I think you've hit the nail on the head with the feeling out of control thing.
    I used to binge. I am a control freak in most aspects of my life except with food. For the first time in years I feel I control it and not the other way round though.

    I'm not a mum but have friend's who are. There is a pressure to always feel like you know everything, but you just have to cut yourself some slack. You're only human! I think being a Mum must sometimes be the hardest job in the world and I bet you're doing it really well x
     
  11. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    thanks watergirl, the girls are still in one piece so that must be a good sign!! i just wish i could find a way to break th cycle
     
  12. Zoe.D

    Zoe.D loving life

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    I get like that when my girls argue-they are 7 and 2 1/2 and drive me potty some times. I love them to bits but it is very hard being a mummy sometimes and I think we are always trying to be the best we can but it never feels good enough. We can't be perfect though Mommy b - Hang in there. Zoe x
     
  13. claira07

    claira07 needs a real kick in the

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    i was just saying to my health visitor yesterday that i seem to get angry really quick, fly off the handle quickly. my patience has gone and i find this really difficult, i take my mood out on partner all the time or get cross at my little boy and hate doing this. this week i feel a little less stressed didnt even think about cd helping. sounds daft, but just not worrying about food has obviously helped alraeady. i hate the moody pissy person i am, and hope this helps me to become more calm and happy. thanks for pointing this out, feel relieved almost xxx
     
  14. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Hey Liz....
    I totally agree with you..
    I felt the same before angry.... and moody and stuff... but now feel so happy all the time.. it is really strange.. Feeling good does definatley change your mood..
    I am pleased to here that you are feeling a lot calmer now... This whole cd think is working wonders for us xx
     
  15. tillyfloss

    tillyfloss Gold Member

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    when you are several stones over weight, lot's of things come into play, we are often tired as carrying all that excess weight is tiring, we often don't feel comfortable so this makes us cranky, we often lack confidence so once again feel anxious, and we often feel out of control....
    In other words have a lot of negativity surrounding us.
    As a human (especially a mum) we have a lot of people around us who depend on us and sometimes further suck what little energy we have, whilst on top of that we constantly worry and berate ourselves that we are not doing a good enough job as a mum, a wife, a lover.

    What we have to do, is take a good look at ourselves and realise that actually, we are not stepford wives and we are doing OK, things go wrong, we get cross, but thats Ok!

    We live in a stressful world and although being big can make things seem more difficult, losing weight doesn't wave a magic wand to make it all ok. Being slim can certainly give us a big boost, but we can have this boost on the journey too.... by accepting that we are in control of ourselves, by accepting that we are good mums, good wives, lovers etc. By not taking ownership of problems which are not ours.

    Recently I have felt some of the most crappiest of times, my marriage has just ended, I have lost my closest friend... but have had to accept that much of what is going on, is totally out of control. Once you accept that you can't do anything about it and just accept it, it does get easier.
    As for being a mum, I have 4 kids, one with Asperger syndrome, One with undefined problems, one who is going through the worst PMS i have ever experienced, and one very active 7yr old boy, and I worry every day about being a bad mum.... thing is.... when we look at other people we always seem to see that they are better parents but the ironic thing, is that they are often looking at us thinking the same...

    We all need to take a chill pill and enjoy every day, as once its gone its gone forever... dont wait to be slim to start enjoying life... start now...

    And for anyone in need of one today, HAVE A HUGE HUG XXXX
     
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  16. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    good post tilly floss, i know you are right, loosing weight wont make all the other stuff go away, but actually dealing with some of it might actually help with the weightloss. i know when my mind is in a better place i comfort eat less.

    and on the subject of being a mum- I reckon the fact that we do worry about it makes us good mums-we wouldnt worry if we didnt care

    THanks for the hug and am sending one back
     
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  17. Witchy

    Witchy ButtERfly

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    Ive found ive become the the class clown so to speak, the one who makes all the jokes I think to compensate for the fab clothes and looking glam and gorgeous, also the pacifer and the ear to lean on, it will be so nice just to be the person who I used to be, the anger comes when im on my own.
     
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  18. tillyfloss

    tillyfloss Gold Member

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    Just OT slightly... witchy I love your avartar.....

    One of my goals is too look for a sexy sexy witchy costume for next halloween and to fit in it!!!
    I want to be THAT image LOL xx
     
  19. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Thanks Curly, yes so am I, it's much nicer not having pent up anger. Definitely is doing wonders :)

    Get post Tilly, a lot of that makes sense. I think people have a tendency to wait until they are at goal to live, but for some reason with CD I don't feel like that. The changes happen so quickly that's easy to start making changes to your mindset more quickly as well.

    Had no idea so many people feel angry and what you said about being tired from carrying excess weight, feeling anxious etc would explain a lot.
     
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