Anyone else suffering under the regime of a money-driven Slimming World Consultant?

[MadameG]

Hi all,

Just a quick recap of my own SW journey over the past almost-2 years. Having lost almost 3 stone and being only 3lbs from target last May, I went on an All Inclusive holiday - gained 7lbs - and have been on the slippery slope ever since. I have gained half the weight back and decided that rather than frittering away good money every week which could be better spent on the family, I would continue to attend group as a Target Member (who don't pay providing they stay within 3lb either side of their target weight) for the time being until I get my act together. Prior to this, my consultant and I got along great - I would even go so far as to say we were 'friends'. We met up at for coffee and took our kids to the cinema together, as well as texting and FaceBooking on a regular basis. However, the moment I informed her of my decision to set my current weight as my target she became hostile, unfriendly and all but showed me the door. I was warned long ago that SW is profit-driven and is much more about aggressive sales tactics than giving diet advice and helping/counselling people with their weight issues. However, having previously attended other groups and encountering a wide range of other consultants who seemed disinterested at best, I really felt that "name removed" was different. How wrong was I?! I feel like a fool! However, I am determined not to be driven out of MY local group in MY local area simply because I'm not playing ball and lining her pockets! I haven't been to group for a few weeks, however, having exchanged a few rather cold messages with her it is blindingly obvious she hates me. I am not going to let her drive me out of my group I have attended for 2 years - especially considering she has only been a consultant for less than 18 months! Just feeling deflated and disillusioned at present, and I was wondering if anyone else had similar experiences they could relate to this situation?:cry:

 

[3106Catherine]

I'm a little confused....so please bear with me.

You were originally 3lb from target, you then went on holiday and gained a further 10lb. You then say that a slippery slope started and you regauned half of what you had originally lost which was 3st, so you regained 1.5st yes?

Then, you have said you want to set this as your target so you can attend the group for free.

I'm not a target memeber so I'm not completely sure how it works except I know you have to stay within a certain few lb's of that limit. If that is the case, where is the incentive for you to 'get your act together' and start losing as you will then have to pay and you have already said you simply don't want to?

There isn't really any excuse for her behaviour, but I can kind of understand, if my train of thoughts above are correct, why she might be a bit miffed. If everyone did as you are doing, there would be no group, SW at the end of the day 'is' a business.

If you have followed the plan for so long can you not follow it yourself from home, or is it the group in particular that you enjoy?

 

[Potato]

Sorry to hear you're feeling down MadameG; but I'm a little confused as well; I don't think anyone can join or rejoin as a new member unless they have some lbs to lose. It'd be an awful pity to Los a good friendship over rules handed down from the top.
Hope everything sorts itself out for you!

 

[Lonestitcher]

Sorry I can't help, as my consultant has been fine with me being a target member. (Just over a year now).

If I'm following correctly:

You joined and lost some weight.
Went on holiday and gained some weight.
Put more weight on.
Set your target at the higher weight.

If so, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. You can set your target at whatever weight you wish.

How did she make you feel that you should leave? Did she not say anything at the time?

Maybe have a quiet word with her after group? Something along the lines of 'Is everything ok? I feel that you're not happy with me for some reason?'. Perhaps something has been misunderstood? Anything from a throw-away comment to a wrongly worded Facebook status? Sometimes I think Facebook is the work of the Devil himself

Hope you get things sorted.

 

[PatchworkPuss]

My experience is different in that we have lots of target members in our group, they are welcomed with open arms for the inspiration and experience they bring to class and consultants I have met have all worked hard to help them stay within target limits. And trust me your consultant is not lining her pockets with your weekly class fee, in fact its more likely that she is barely breaking even. I am sure she does not hate you but it is probably as clear to her as it is to us that you are trying to play the system and she possibly feels she is being taken for a fool by someone she considered a friend. I am sorry that this will not be the response you are looking for hun but hope that you find some way to work through this without losing that friendship and are happy at whatever weight you choose. x

 

[hollys nan]

Sorry but I could not agree more with patchwork puss. My c told me that she is only starting to make a living now after 4 years of being a consultant. She is passionate about S W, is there for every one of us. She is constantly on fbook with help and advice, she has been round to members houses when we ran out of hi fi bars, etc, in group so they had them before next group. S W is a business at the end of the day and the c's have to pay out so much with rentals, merchandise, fees to S W that its only after all that is paid that they can then pay themselves. S W make the rules and she has to abide by them.My experience in my group is that we get advice and help, yes profit has to be made by S W but I cannot agree that it is "purely profit driven and is much more about aggressive sales tactics than giving diet advice and helping/counselling people with their weight issues."I certainly have not found that at all and this is a bit of a generalisation.

 

[owlgoose]

Honestly - Your consultant is right to start charging you. Otherwise I could go say i just want to lose half a stone and then lose the remaining 2 and half stone as a non paying target member! They get paid because you pay, if your target weight was x and you suddenly decide that even though you've got 1 and a half stone to lose you don't want to pay anymore then that's not your consultants fault.

 

[cheery]

Sorry I'm not sure this is one that I can sugar coat.

I think you said it yourself when you said:

"rather than frittering away good money every week which could be better spent on the family, I would continue to attend group as a Target Member (who don't pay providing they stay within 3lb either side of their target weight) for the time being until I get my act together."

A target member is someone who has lost all the weight they want to lose. You haven't. You've lost some of it, gained some back, know you need to keep your act together but decided to play the system so you can still go to group, for free.

SW has a system that doesn't hold people to BMI limits or similar, because we're all different. However, the 'target' is exactly that - a target - something you yourself say you haven't achieved. Your consultant, who you apparently knew quite well, knows that you haven't reached your 'target' but are playing the system because you'd rather spend the money on your family, yourself or your all inclusive holidays. As a result, she's learnt something about who you are that perhaps surprised her, and has decided to make her relationship with you professional from here on in. I don't blame her.

If you haven't reached your personal target, for whatever reason, you should be paying - like the rest of us do or did.

I was also disturbed when you said:

"However, I am determined not to be driven out of MY local group in MY local area simply because I'm not playing ball and lining her pockets!"

To be clear - Slimming World is a business, one that many people consider to be ethical, supporting charities and suchlike - but a business nonetheless. It isn't owned by you and the group is not yours. If anything, your consultant, who holds the franchise for the group and, 18 months ago paid several hundred pounds to do so, owns the group. And she has every right to not be friends with you if she doesn't like your tactics.

Sorry for the straight talking - you'll understand that I don't intend to be rude - but I do think this post would upset your consultant - particularly given as you've seen fit to name her - which I also think is totally inappropriate.

 

[littlemissslim]

It could be that she felt she was supporting and encouraging you to want to lose weight, and get back on track, and you've thrown it back in her face?
I don't know, but you defo need to talk to find out.
On the other hand, if it's not the right time for you to lose weight, as a consultant - I would be fine with you calling target until your head was back in the right frame of mind - if it meant not losing you altogether xx

 

[Franalamadingdong]

A lot of people have commented on your situation, so I shan't rehash over that. I will say that my consultant has let people target at whatever weight they wish, including at times when they just feel stuck. I was offered to target a couple of weeks ago but I said no, because if I targeted I'd find it SO incredibly difficult to get losing again. I'm only half way on my way to target right now, but I will get there. We have more target members than any other local groups, not from people targeting part way through, but people who have reached target YEARS ago, one lady has been at target for 13 years, and still provide support to everyone else. I know for another lady who REALLY struggled with the last few lbs she offered to let her target at her higher weight, but she wanted to reach her target, but the offer to let her target higher meant a lot in the support, because like she said, when she targeted she'd relax and a few lbs extra would come off... and when she reached her target they did! I don't feel my consultant pushes the money making side at all. This year she will have been a consultant for 20 years full time, so she is earning a living.

 

[Dolil]

I think some of the responses on here may be a little too 'honest', this is supposed to be a support forum. Perhaps the op would rather reign in any gains and stay at group whilst getting into the right frame of mind to lose weight again? Not everybody can just decide today is the day, which is fine.
Maybe a little more thought of just how supportive we are before writing things that are not really helpful?

 

[cheery]

A lot of people have commented on your situation, so I shan't rehash over that. I will say that my consultant has let people target at whatever weight they wish, including at times when they just feel stuck. I was offered to target a couple of weeks ago but I said no, because if I targeted I'd find it SO incredibly difficult to get losing again. I'm only half way on my way to target right now, but I will get there. We have more target members than any other local groups, not from people targeting part way through, but people who have reached target YEARS ago, one lady has been at target for 13 years, and still provide support to everyone else. I know for another lady who REALLY struggled with the last few lbs she offered to let her target at her higher weight, but she wanted to reach her target, but the offer to let her target higher meant a lot in the support, because like she said, when she targeted she'd relax and a few lbs extra would come off... and when she reached her target they did! I don't feel my consultant pushes the money making side at all. This year she will have been a consultant for 20 years full time, so she is earning a living.

This all sounds very sensible to me - and the people who want to 'call' target because they are genuinely stuck or because they're a few pounds away and would find it emotionally easier to have less pressure should go ahead and do so. Your consultant's approach sounds very sensible to me.

But this is different to what the first poster described - which was a situation where she deliberately wanted to save money and spent it on other things rather than group - whilst still benefitting from advice and support from her consultant and the members. This seems, to me (and the consultant by the sounds of it) to be unfair. Also, naming the consultant on an open board, without giving her or him chance to respond is inappropriate.

 

[cheery]

I think some of the responses on here may be a little too 'honest', this is supposed to be a support forum. Perhaps the op would rather reign in any gains and stay at group whilst getting into the right frame of mind to lose weight again? Not everybody can just decide today is the day, which is fine.
Maybe a little more thought of just how supportive we are before writing things that are not really helpful?

I hear what you are saying - but here the original poster has NAMED her consultant whilst being really quite rude about her - in a public place.

 

[Sculls]

In my opinion I think if you are using the group and consultants facilities to lose weight to get to your real target then you should pay for this service? Maybe you should speak to your consultant and have an honest conversation with her? I would be open minded to the fact that she may want to be paid for a service she is providing you and feel like to are dodging paying for that.
If you don't want to pay for classes it maybe worth you doing it from home?

 

[Dolil]

I hear what you are saying - but here the original poster has NAMED her consultant whilst being really quite rude about her - in a public place.

If that's all that had been mentioned then I wouldn't have posted, yes that's inappropriate. But it's telling somebody they're wrong to want to do something and their C causing them upset is justified that doesn't seem very fair to me.

 

[kingleds]

Hi MadamG

Firstly, well done for losing 3 stone in the first place.

I think the situation is very difficult for all concerned. Her job is to support you in getting to your target, and it seems like you had set this prior to your holiday, so she has a reasonable expectation that this is your ultimate target. She now see you are not trying to get to this target, but are expecting to reap target member benefits. She also has a responsbility as a consultant to guide her members in terms of what that target should be, so it isn't unreasonable for her to maybe suggest that the target you have now set is not necessarily the right one for you.

She absolutely has a right to be a bit miffed that someone is playing the system and appears to have kinda given up. If I was your consultant I would probably be feeling a little bit annoyed, and let down, at the amount of time I had invested in helping you reach your goal and its probably worth remembering this when you deal with her. My experience of SW consultants is that they do tend to pour their heart & soul into the success of their members and consequently can feel personally affronted when a member gives up. I'm afraid the added insult (in her eyes) of playing the system may have been a bit too much for her.

As has been said before, the money is unlikely to be a big factor in her behaviour as they really don't make as much as people think they do. The differento to her of you being target or playing is about £1 a week.

I would suggest you have a chat with her at your next group and if you really do want to get to your original target, set the one you currently have as an interim - you'd be paying, but it might give you a bit more of an incentive to get to your actual target - perhaps even buy a 12 week countdown, which is much more cost effective. If you aren't serious about getting to it, and are happy where you are, explain this to your consultant. They aren't mind readers so they can't be expected to know everything.

 

[*Emsie*]

I think having a chat to her is a good idea it may clear the air and there may be crossed wires that can be cleared up if not I can't see how continuing to go to the group can be beneficial to you if you feel 'hated' by the consultant.
If she can see that you are calling target as it seems the best way to you to be able to stay on track without completely going off the rails rather than just wanting all the benefit of group/membership without having to pay maybe she will be more supportive.
I had a c in the past who's attitude I felt changed when I set my target for slightly different reasons I wanted to stop at a weight I was happy at but this was not an elligible weight for a sw competition which I think she wanted me to enter to get credit for her group or maybe there was some other reason but the relationship never seemed the same afterwards and I ended up leaving the group.
Hopefully you feel better for letting off a bit of steam on here x

 

[Elliebellie]

Um, can I ask a question please?

Why would you want to attend a slimming group if you have no intention on actually.....slimming?

SW is not a social club. I do get a little annoyed with the women who have attended my group for years and still dont lose weight, it kinda puts a dampner on all the people who do lose weight, who do plan, who do you the recipe books, who do share their tips, who do use a food diary, who...do SW!

 

[*Emsie*]

Um, can I ask a question please?

Why would you want to attend a slimming group if you have no intention on actually.....slimming?

SW is not a social club. I do get a little annoyed with the women who have attended my group for years and still dont lose weight, it kinda puts a dampner on all the people who do lose weight, who do plan, who do you the recipe books, who do share their tips, who do use a food diary, who...do SW!

To try and prevent getting bigger and bigger?
I too used to wonder why peple would keep attending group if they weren't going to lose weight but they too have their reasons and are entitled to go as much as anyone else they possibly get annoyed by people who go and lose week in week out. For some it is possibly their only social outlet/time for themselves that they get too.
At the end of the day its a group and in a group theres a variety of people and could get a little boring if everyone was the same.
The ones that go wek in week out forever without getting to target are bread and butter for the consultants too.

 

[kingleds]

Um, can I ask a question please?

Why would you want to attend a slimming group if you have no intention on actually.....slimming?

I don't think OP actually said she had no intention of slimming or even that she wasn't following SW. There's plenty of reasons why people go to group but don't loose anymore weight for a while. I maintained for 6 months but still went to group. The inference was I still paid!