Anyone ever feel too focussed?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by *Emsie*, 24 August 2010 Social URL.

  1. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    Although I dont want to gain any weight and I want to keep losing I would quite like to be able to switch off for maybe one meal or even one course?
    I do allow myself treats but never just forget it all. I know thats what has got me to where I am on my journey but its just feeling a bit weird at the moment that I can't relax at all from it! I should be grateful Im sure and just keep at it!
     
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  3. mojomcl

    mojomcl Silver Member

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    This is SW, it SHOULD become a way of life. What WOULD you like to eat, if you could switch off? And what's stopping you from eating just that?
     
  4. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    Maybe I asked with it with this post but should feels like a very strong word and a bit uncomfortable for me.

    I suppose what is stopping me from eating just what I want to eat is kind of my question but only I can answer that I suppose!
     
  5. Lovely_Laura

    Lovely_Laura Moooooo

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    I know what you mean Emsie, I've had a few people tell me things like 'one meal won't hurt', 'you're on holiday so enjoy yourself' and while I can see what they mean and would sometimes like to know how to switch off my SW mind I guess in the long term it's exactly what I need. It would be nice to be able to forget it all, not just for the meal but afterwards so we didn't worry about it but then we would surely slip back to our old ways. The guilt I feel when I purposely choose to ignore SW might disappear while I eat but then comes back very strong to the point I feel dreadful so it isn't worth it. I'm quite happy that it comes back or I'd be getting nowhere but sometimes it's another reason to feel crap which I don't need! Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately it's strong enough to keep me on plan most of the time.

    Sorry, I'm rambling.:p Anyway, I suppose we can look at it two ways, either it's a wonderful thing that the feelings are so strong and keep us going in the right direction or it's a pain in the bum but then without it we wouldn't be able to lose weight. If there were an on/off switch I think I'd be one of those who knocked it to off a little too often.:eek:
     
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  6. mojomcl

    mojomcl Silver Member

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    Only trying to help. Perhaps my own deeply held view that this isn't a diet, but a way of life isn't quite how others see it. And who am I to say you should? ;-) lol
     
  7. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    I think to be honest to be truly assured of long term success, you do need to adopt the approach that it is a way of life and not a "diet". But equally, because it is designed to become a way of life, it does allow for those moments where you do indulge yourself.

    I completely understand where Emsie is coming from - when you have lived a very different lifestyle and had complete freedom over what you ate, the fact that we made bad and indulgent choices, was still our choice and our freedom to do that, whereas when you are following a plan like SW and you KNOW that it is a great way to stay healthy and fit and lose weight long term, you can feel a little restricted by the fact that you are following a plan and are not doing that of your own volition.

    Because that way of thinking doesnt necessarily come naturally, if it did, we wouldnt be following a plan in the first place or have cause to do so. I have a friend, her weight never changes from one year to the next, and she without thinking chooses healthy options, cooks healthy meals, and has the occasional indulgence without worrying about it because 99% of the time she is eating sensibly. Whereas I dont have that natural ability to just do that without thinking. Without thinking, I would dive headfirst into a big pile of chocolate and bury myself so deep that I wouldnt find myself for hours. I wouldnt automatically head for the superfree when looking for something to grab and go. So you DO have to have it within your conscious thinking all of the time.

    I hope that in time, because I do this all the time, it will bury myself in my subconscious and I wont have to think about it every time I put my hand to something, I will just know what to do with it without having to go "Ah, thats not on plan" or "Ah, I already had my syns today". It might happen, it might not, but if it doesnt, then the preferable option is to have it in your conscious thoughts and not to just head down the path of total freedom and bad choices.
     
  8. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    Ok thanks for trying to help its just that should is a word I'm quite sensitive too!
    I love S.world and am not criticisng it at all and I too see it as a way of life I think I am just at another turning point in my journey and am assessing things.
    I think Madame La Minx explains what I was trying to say much better than I did initially!
    Thanks Laura glad to know Im not on my own! and yes I think it is a good thing overall but I am just realising things I suppose x
     
  9. Lonestitcher

    Lonestitcher Silver Member

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    Emsie, I know EXACTLY where you are coming from.

    I'm the only person I know to come back from an all inclusive mini cruise, a short break in South Wales, a birthday treat, an anniversary meal and Christmas and have a loss the following week.!!!

    I decided in advance of my anniversary meal that I would just have the day 'off-plan' (I'd been doing SW for about 11 months). But instead of ordering onion bhaji, samosa, popadoms, and whatever curry I wanted, I found myself ordering chicken tikka starter and lamb rogan josh. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but I was going to order something 'syn-full' as a treat AND I COULDN'T!!!!! I think fear is the reason why I couldn't order just anything.

    Fear of a gain.
    Fear of slipping of the wagon, and it steaming away up the M62, leaving me behind.
    Fear of not being able to get back on plan.
    Fear of not just the gain, but knowing that I'd deliberate sabotaged myself that week.
    'Fear' of my consultant uttering the immortal words 'So,...a gain this week....how do you feel?'
    and most scarily,
    Fear of ending up where I'd began....

    So, yes, even though I know that this is a plan for life, I too would like to be able to have 'guilt-free - outside-of-plan - extra-syns - meals' and just enjoy them.
     
  10. Lexie_dog

    Lexie_dog UNLEASHING THE BEAST!

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    I just enjoy what I want. I can either learn to live with myself and this way of eating long term, or I can set a goal date/weight and work towards that. But not have things I really want in between.

    So thats why I'll have a slice of cake, or a packet of sweets, or a curry, because thats "normal" long term.

    I still want to lose weight along the way, but life is for living.

    I guess it comes down to that question are you taking the motorway or a scenic route to your goal weight.

    I think I'm mixing my roads up, but thats how its working for me so far.
     
  11. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    Thanks lonestitcher! That all sounds very familiar!!!! ;) x

    Lexie-dog I think you are right! and I think although its beenat a relatively steady pace I think I have been on the motorway for this journey so far and now I think I might want to try out the A roads! Just working out how I can do that comfortably for me!

    Im away on holiday next week and intend to apply damage limitation! and then when get back do some tweaks to how I work the plan I think!
     
  12. amy2307

    amy2307 Full Member

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    Hey

    I know exactly how you feel....i started SW a year ago....and was so focused until i got pretty close to target and sort of gave up for a few weeks in march. Up until then i thought about what i was eating, what i was going to eat, my syns, and i wrote every little thing down....i then returned to slimming world in april having gained a stone....the second time around i have tried to be more relaxed....and i went on holiday for 2 weeks in june...after losing 3 pounds on my holiday i thought maybe there was no need to be so strict....so since then iv not written down anything and i try to be more relaxed about it. Before i would not let myself have more than 5 syns...but then id have occasional binges where as this time i have up to ten a day and im doing fine....im not sure if everyone can get to this stage and i hope i can continue when i finally reach my target....but good luck...i apologise for the babble! But i guess im trying to say it is possible to be more relaxed and not think about SW constantly and i actually find it helps!
    xxx
     
  13. downsizingmycurves

    downsizingmycurves Silver Member

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    I look at SW like this too.

    I am changing many years of bad eating habits and that takes a good while. I do like my meals out and I do eat chocolate most days as I find that keeps me on a path which I can see myself doing for life which, I think, is what SW is trying to teach me.
     
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