ARGH. Why so negative all the time?

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by kerry b, 20 October 2010 Social URL.

  1. kerry b

    kerry b Silver Member

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    I am going demented with my other half he is so negative about EVERYTHING. We are trying to sell our house at the moment, been on the market 2 weeks, and already he is saying we will never sell as we have only had 2 viewers. After the cuts announced by the chancellor today he is now saying that the new job i'm due to start in january either wont happen or wont last long as my new employers both work for NHS and they are making cuts. Not only will the job not work out but I wont be able to get any benifits coz they are cutting back there too. The list goes on and on and on and I am soooo fed up listening to him. His attitude is really getting me down. I have told him what I think and i'm accused of burying my head in the sand. He cant seem to find anything positive in any situation so when he starts talking i just sit there wishing he would shut up. I'm usually fairly upbeat about most things and for big issues I would take a 2don't panic, wait and see" attitude but he is all doom and gloom. If we won the lottery he would only see problems.
    AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

    Sorry. Rant over. Thank you
     
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  3. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    lol, I could have wrote that myself. I've now realised my OH wont change (we've been together 28yrs).

    I'm such a postitive person and sometimes I find it hard to stay that way. There is no easy way to deal with it. But what I do is make plans for the negatives, eg when he says you will never sell the house, say ok maybe we wont but if we don't put it on the market we will never find out, with jobs, no job is safe no matter what industry you work in. I also find it helps that I don't shout back at him & don't row. I just say what I want to say calmly. This is difficult when we are at the airport & he is stressing about missing the plane (we are never late & always early), well I'm going to stop now as I could just keep going on.

    I save syns for wine:D
     
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  4. avisk

    avisk xx

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    I know what you need to solve this problem instantly.

    Earplugs.
     
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  5. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    :8855::8855::8855:

    Buy him a book called The Secret. My husband read it and never looked back. He is now so positive it is hard to believe he is the same person.

    He is happier than he has been in years. He has gone from having little work to having more than he can cope with. The book has really worked for him. He is a pleasure to be around.

    There are people who will dis this book, but don't knock it until you have tried it. It works for both of us.

    Could it be his great worry about the financial situation at present that is making him like this.

    The book will help if he will read it.
     
  6. kissme

    kissme Gold Member

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    So you think it really works? I tend to see the negatives in everything!
     
  7. Wendyswoo

    Wendyswoo Full Member

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    My hubby is just the same.
    I think it comes from a fear of being able to look after the family and being the provider ;)
     
  8. kerry b

    kerry b Silver Member

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    That made me laugh. Unfortunately i'm expected to replay occasionally and god forbid i havent actually been listening:rolleyes:.

    Don't think it is a financial thing as even when things are good in that respect he is still DR Doom, just his nature I guess. It does get a bit depressing but it gives me hope that there are lots of you out there that haven't commited manslaughter yet:p.
    As for the book, no way he would read it but thanks for the suggestion
     
  9. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    start playing 'always look on the bright side of life' around the house.....xxx
     
  10. kerry b

    kerry b Silver Member

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    Brilliant! I'm going to start humming that under my breath the next time he starts:p
     
  11. chris_s

    chris_s Less of a man each day

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    I used to be very negative all the time.
    My turn around was after some major life changing events.

    Feelings of inadequacy were a major factor for me.

    Hope it improves
     
  12. shell_y

    shell_y Silver Member

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    I don't think theres a great deal you can do unless he makes positive changes to think differently. It really does drag you down though doesnt it. You have my sympathy. x
     
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  13. jigglymum

    jigglymum Full Member

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    does he drink tea or coffee :coffee:??? it covers a multitude of tastes......slip some natural remedies in st johns wart etc :D been slipping my OH some erm...... anti trump :sign0007: tablets in his , slightly powdery taste :spit:- blame it on change of tea bags :crazy:

    failing that, as discussed in another thread some of us ladies might be clubbing together for a large "man shed" to store the stranger half of the species in until the are required necessary, (baby sitting, spider removal, dog walking, reaching the top shelf etc)

    xxx
     
  14. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    I like the idea of 'slipping something' in his tea. ;) And the man shed does also sound like a winner:D
     
  15. Meli

    Meli Gold Member

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    Wonder if it runs in his family. Sounds like he needs some Yoga Laughing and Happy Happy classes.
     
  16. Snozzberry

    Snozzberry Full Member

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    Start referring to him only as Eeyore.
     
  17. shell_y

    shell_y Silver Member

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  18. MargyParker

    MargyParker My belly this will be!

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    I am wondering if he has always been the same or if this is a new phenomenon?
     
  19. kerry b

    kerry b Silver Member

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    Eeyore is my fave!

    I would also like to buy into the man shed thingy only i don't have a dog, take care of spiders myself and have a large step for high shelves and parents for babysitting! Mmmmm. Why do I keep him around.

    He has always been like this only it is annoying me now whereas it never used to bother me that much. Saying that, HE annoys me most of the time now...... totally different thread required for that!!!!

    It is just a pain that I could be having a great day then he comes home full of doom and gloom and I end the day feeling really low. Maybe next time I just need to tell him I only want to hear positive things...
     
  20. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    Or invent an impromptu night out and don't come home until he is in bed !!

    Sounds like you might have " gone off " him a bit..........

    hugs !
     
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