"Big girls you are beautiful" - Smaller girls...?

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by MissAma, 9 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. MissAma

    MissAma Silver Member

    I'm absolutely fascinated with the amount of time it takes my head to catch up with my body and more importantly, with the host of attitudes and nearly image dysfunctional syndromes weight loss seems to bring about.

    The other day I posted about being unhappy people were noticing too much. Crazy.

    Another thing .... -this will sound even stranger- is that I used to feel FAR more sexy nearly 100 lbs ago. That makes no sense, yes my boobies halved and my behind is awkward but they are still relatively proportional! Yes I do not own the right clothes for my new shape yet but overall I think it's a matter of confidence.

    Paradoxically, I used to feel sexier before. I knew what clothes to wear, what cleavage made heads turn, how to stand in a certain fashion or how to move so that it looked appealing. I don't anymore.

    Anyone else gets this or have I lost it? :)
    sunshine1 likes this.
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  3. Jenmac

    Jenmac can't speak French

    I think lots of people will know what you mean, your old body was a friend and you knew how to treat her to make her look her best, whereas now you are constantly changing, what looks good today doesn't tomorrow...
    I also think it can be easier to look fabulous when you are definitely BIG, I have always been an in-betweenie and I think it's hard to know the best way to play up an inbetweenie figure...clothes tend to be drapey and you can't fill them, or cut for slender figures and there are bumps in the wrong places...it's hard! I think I probably look better undressed than dressed to be honest!
    Maybe you need to treat yourself to some nice bath and body products and concentrate on your skin, hair and makeup until you settle at a new size?
    MissAma likes this.
  4. Iris

    Iris Full Member

    It's fascinating, I agree. Can't say I've ever felt sexy... just not that kinda girl, I don't think. I felt repulsive at my heaviest and now I feel - well, I don't know. I still feel rather hideous, especially when I see saggy skin bits.

    If I'm brutally honest here (and I guess it's the only way to be!) I think I felt pretty good in myself when I reached a size 14. I remember looking in the mirror one day and thinking 'hey, some nice curves emerging there, lady.' But I still thought I needed to lose more weight just because I wanted to put as much distance between me and the repulsive blob I was (and still feel inside) as I could. I've been hoping that little glimmer of self-liking might re-emerge again, but still waiting! At the end of the day, it has to come from inside, I suppose, and not be dependent on the scales or what you see in the mirror, or don't see.
  5. suepass

    suepass Full Member

    wish I looked like you

    Wow you look stunning you could easily be a model. But please don't lose any more weight 'cos you will get a lolly pop head and look weird. Victoria Beckham 'aint attractive.
    Thought I would just mention it as all the forums are about how much weight people have lost and some people are starting to look quite unwell. I have not seen many comments telling people to stop.
    I don't think you can always go by a BMI as if mine was at the lowest end of healthy I would look very very underweight.
    Hope you don't take offence at this, as it's meant with best intentions.
    sunshine1 likes this.
  6. Tiitanium

    Tiitanium Gold Member

    i agree she is stunning :) lol x
  7. Pandora Ghengis

    Pandora Ghengis forgive the silly name

    I feel sexier dressed when I am larger but certainly not undressed!
  8. MissAma

    MissAma Silver Member

    Good point. There is a vast difference between sexy dressed and sexy undressed. For my part I still have too much loose skin to feel comfortable being naked or in a swimming suit.
  9. FruityLucy

    FruityLucy Member

    Couldnt agree more with this!
  10. losemenow

    losemenow Full Member

    i used to hate looking in the mirror naked. i mean hate. like would not do it. i have a saggy belly and am flat chested and quite broad. but u know something, for the past year every time i get out of the shower i make myself look in the mirror, if i moisturise i do it front of a full length mirror, it was hard at first but now i do it without thinkign and sometimes ill put on a nice bra and knickers and just thrown on some music and have a dance around the room! i know it sounds silly but bit by bit ive become comfortbale with my body when its not hiding behind clothes. gradually my self esteem is on the rise and im not being cocky, but my ex boyfriend (who was pretty gorgeous with and without clothes) of a year never once complained. its how you percieve urself that comes across, and if ur confident and comfortable then that says more than any bikini can!

    Lynn8124 likes this.
  11. sunshine1

    sunshine1 Full Member

    Excellent thread miss.

    I hadn't really thought about the clothes i will wear when i slim down.

    I kinda know what suits me at the moment and always get compliments so i must be doing it right.

    I am also wondering how i am going to feel about having to get rid of my clothes....i have some really lovely clothes and have 6 wardrobes bursting at the seams. :eek:

    Might have to find a good seamstress.

    Food for thought tho!
  12. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy Slowly But Surely

    Although I haven't lost the weight (yet), I've always felt attractive because I know I did and still do make heads turn. It's not to boast or anything, but yeah, I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to hair, makeup, clothes, etc so I try to always look my best cos hey, I haven't got the body so might always do the best I can with the rest, right?

    I find being bigger is empowering in a way, it's like a statement. I do wonder how different it'll be down the line. I always thought I liked being bigger and accepted it, some people do it, but I was really kidding myself. I've always wanted to be a normal size, and it's also a health/control issue. Dealing with problems by eating is no way to go, I'd rather deal with them properly.

    Some people say life is too short to not eat cake, but I say life is too short to regret never being slim.
  13. MissAma

    MissAma Silver Member

    All good points Just Peachy. Good luck getting to where you want to be!
  14. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy Slowly But Surely

    Thanks :) Same to you, although you're almost there it seems. That's really wonderful, well done!
  15. Wasted Ink

    Wasted Ink Full Member

    Sorry for bumping up an old thread.

    I find this a fascinating read. Mainly because I’m the entire opposite of this! I don’t know HOW to dress a size 16 body. I know the kinds of clothes I love and the kinds of clothes that would suit me… if I were a size 10! LOL! As things are I don’t feel like I can “make the best of myself” while I’m still overweight. I always think, “once I’m slim I’ll wear better clothes, once I’m slim I’ll get my hair done” etc. Somehow I don’t feel that I can be attractive at all until I have lost the weight, even if I do have a fairly pretty face. I don’t feel like I will be truly me and know what I truly look like until the weight is gone.

    That said -- I do agree with what people are saying in this thread regarding the head catching up with the body. No matter how slow I lose this weight I don’t feel that my head will ever catch up with my body.
  16. Maia

    Maia Full Member

    I was less critical about my body too before I started. I think now because I actually look at myself stark naked in the mirror and see the changes that I've made and where I aspire to go next. It makes me aware of how far I have to go. Before I'd have a cursory glance, usually clothed, focusing on my nice bits and think everything was fine. Definitely in denial.:rolleyes:
  17. angeljaide

    angeljaide Full Member

    I've been wondering about this stuff too actually though I am no where near having to worry about it! I've been fat since I was 7 and the thought of not being fat is so strange. All I can do is assure you ladies who have posted that you all look beautiful and what you have achieved is an inspiration. x
  18. EmMUK

    EmMUK Trying Hard!

    I have spent many years dealing with this. For me I managed to realise that I was changing on the outside, but not on the inside, and that how I look really is not much about me. having said that I still have bad body image days, and as I change shape more I know it will be increasingly hard, but I will keep reminding myself that I'm still me, and people love me for that!
  19. nina

    nina Silver Member

    I will add here - I have started to hear my little chatterbox tell me how unsightly my now flabby inner thighs look...and how 2 stone ago they were nice an plump!!!!!!!! LOL

    As a big girl -- I have always felt sexy and I hope that stays with me as I thin down...

    I tell her -- to zip it up, cuz I will work more on the flabby bits and they will ALWAYS be beter than what and who I was even at 2 stone ago!

    Keep up the great work ladies...its all in the perception...and the will to change...and finally the courage to embrace the unknown...and be comfortable with whats to come...I will be honest to say, there are days that I am actually scared of these changes...

    taking it one monent at a time :)
    Last edited: 25 June 2010
  20. Pink!

    Pink! Silver Member

    I'm completely with you, I've always been overweight and have never felt in the least bit sexy, so it's hard to imagine ever feeling at peace with myself and confident of my body...I guess these things come in time.
  21. nina

    nina Silver Member

    Bump! Let's feel good...and i am trying to be unafraid of my change that is beginning...

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