Can't look in a mirror without crying.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by mahialise, 7 November 2010 Social URL.

  1. mahialise

    mahialise New Member

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    Hello.

    I am 22, female, size 12, 5'7", 150lbs.
    I know in my mind I'm not enormous.

    But I can't stay like this. Every time I see my self, I cry.

    I feel like I can't stop. I don't see that I'm doing anything different than I have the past 3 years and yet I'm gaining weight.
    (2 months ago I was 130lbs)

    My mum's been going to slimming world and has lost a stone and a half. She's a 14 and getting closer to what size I am. I'm looking to get bigger than my 50 year old mother.

    She doesn't see that I have a problem, my boyfriend doesn't understand. I don't have any friends who will listen to me.

    I don't know how to start. I've started lifting light weights to try and battle my flabby arms (I say this because a stranger happily pointed out the fact by saying "Woah your arms are really big", great for a fragile woman to hear).

    I really need some help.

    I need motivation, and support because I'm comfort eating. I need somewhere to turn when I want the bad food instead of a boring bloody banana.

    I'm too scared to start training on my own, I don't want to start when I know I'm so out of shape I'll fall at the first hurdle.

    I really want to lose 40lbs.

    I don't need anyone to tell me that I'm fine.

    I'm not fine. Everyone says 'you're beautiful, you don't need to change bla bla bla' but I can't look at myself without seeing my jowls getting bigger, my chin becoming double, my thighs touching to my knees.
    It seems like such a daunting task and I don't know how to start.

    I'm scared of the scales, the measuring tape and the mirror.

    Please help.
     
    Last edited: 7 November 2010
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  3. teresa32uk

    teresa32uk Silver Member

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    Hi there, you sound very unhappy. Have you thought of joining SW with your mum?? SW is a really good for people who want to lose weight but do not like count calories. Good luck.
     
  4. *Shanny*

    *Shanny* Gold Member

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    Hello and welcome stay strong and you will get there i was 14 stone 3 bs.

    I am aiming to be 140 lbs = 10 stones right now, let me tell you that's not huge at all.

    try not to be so hard on yourself hun.!! SW is a great healthy diet to follow.

    Good luck to you x
     
  5. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    Hi and welcome. I don't think it is just the weight that is your problem. But you could go to SW with your mum and give it a try. Not sure but wouldn't think you need to lose 40 pounds.

    Irene xx
     
  6. Lynn_

    Lynn_ On A Mission!

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    I can understand why everyone one is telling you that you dont have a problem, because 10st at 5.7 is well within your normal weight range. But i do sympathise that you dont feel happy at your weight. You could possibly lose a stone , but anymore than that and you will have another serious problem on your hands. To want to lose 40lbs is just not realistic, you are talking about weighing around 7st. You must see that is not healthy.

    You could try a slimming club, but its possible they wont want to help you get to such a low weight. Concentrate on getting to 9 stone, but if you are not happy at that weight then you will have to look at other reasons why you are so unhappy with your body, and maybe seek some help for it.
     
  7. mahialise

    mahialise New Member

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    Hi, I understand that most of what I want is in my head.

    A realistic goal for me is 8.5 stone, which is 2 and a half what I am now (nearly 11, I got my numbers a bit wrong, I'm more like 150lbs)

    After talking to a pal I've been urged to talk to someone so I'm going to see a physician this week to organise some counseling however my goal to lose some weight is still very much an issue.

    My goal is 35lbs, last year I was 9st and I didn't look all that much different but I felt better but the weight went back on really quickly (I lost it through an illness)

    My mum doesn't want me to go to SW, it's really hard because I can't really talk to her about it. I keep telling her these things that I could do to get myself in shape and feel better about myself but it's always the same sort of responses. I feel like everyone's blind to what I can so plainly see.
    I don't want to be anorexic, I know anorexics and they frighten me.

    I think that 35lbs and toning would bring me to a figure that is good and healthy, then when I'm there, if I'm still not happy. Then I know there's a problem I have to resolve within myself and not my body.

    Sorry for sounding like a messed up teenager :$
     
  8. CatCrazy

    CatCrazy Gold Member

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    At 5ft7 you are at your ideal weight for optimum health.(BMI 21.9) Losing 40lbs at your height is not recommended, you'd be setting yourself up for health problems further down the road. Its way too low...your BMI would be 15.7. This would probably have an effect on your fertility that sometimes cannot be reversed. Do you really want to risk that?

    Toning up is what you should concentrate on. Join a gym and ask for help in what you think are your problem areas. Also ask for a body fat analysis, you can then work on lowering body fat while building muscle which will keep your weight around the same but you will look slimmer and trimmer.

    And don't let one persons thoughtless and idiotic comment get to you so much. As you said theyre a stranger...they have no idea who you are and couldn't give a sh1t about you (proved by their comment) so don't give a hoot about them in return.



    EDIT. at 8 stone 5lbs you are still under the recommended BMI.
     
  9. Lynn_

    Lynn_ On A Mission!

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    Ok, at almost 11st then at your age, you could lose some weight, but 8 and half stone is till too low lol.

    Im surprised your mum doesnt want you to go to SW, maybe she is worried that losing weight is a compulsion that SW will encourage. I dont think they will, I think they will be much more concerned with you being at a healthy weight for your age. I still think 9st is the lowest you should consider.

    Im really pleased though that you are going to see someone about your weight. You do need a lot of support, even if the support is not entirely what you want to hear!

    Good luck with it, I wish you well, but more than that I wish you to be healthy too :)
     
  10. jade.s

    jade.s Full Member

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    Hello, firstly *hug* secondly I think you should really try and get some help with a councillor, I have exactly the same thoughts and emotions about my own body as you do, I HATE my body and after a battle of 4 years from not eating and becoming ridiculously skinny I started to feel like I was fatter then ever, even though I was defiantly not, which led to me binge eating and gaining 4 stone and now I hate my body even more, after feeling incredibly low ( one random boy said to me 'your fat aren't you' people have no heart or mind when they say nasty things to people and I would try to ignore what that person said to you ) I went and seeked helped, I was diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder and it sounds like you may be heading onto that road, talking to someone often is really helpful and they will help you towards seeing yourself differently, and all girls want to be skinner, loose a couple of pounds and if you want to loose a few pounds or tone up then they will help you to set up a HEALTHY way to loose it without becoming totally obsessed with doing so, I hope you feel better soon hun xxxx
     
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  11. Geordiehelen

    Geordiehelen Full Member

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    Hi im 22 and a size 12 im jst getting bk on track with slimming world today! I went for a jog this morning. Ive never exercised before n could not be bothered with the gym!
    I was trying everything to lose a bit of weight n tried some fad diets but there not realistic when it comes bk to eating normally again! If u dont want to go to the slimming world classes this site will help a lot ive jst heard about it today n i already love it. U can get loads of sw recipes n a lot of support from others!
    I first started jogging a few wks ago and i felt so self concious so my friend came with me. My advice would be to find a jogging buddy n start a steady jog even if its 20 mins a few times a week n when u get into u can go a bit longer n u will start to feel like u can do it alone! In my area i see a lot of ppl doin it n i feel less embarrassed.
    Even if u dont feel ready to go out to exercise i would really recommend SW its realistic to do when i 1st started i lost weight easily n didnt exercise to begin with!
    I hope this helps u x
     
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