Claire's art of self-sabotage

Discussion in 'Slim and Save - Diaries' started by ClaireCat, 30 December 2013.

  1. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    This diary is really just to give me a place to moan. I need to lose at least 4 stone before I can book my breast augmentation operation. It's my 30th birthday in July 2014 and I want to buy myself a boob job as a 'happy birthday' present to myself. I've just got off the phone to a lady at the Nuffield Hospital in Glasgow and she has advised that the surgeons are very reluctant to operate on anyone with a BMI of over 30 due to anesthetic risks and also the fact that its a cosmetic procedure and the best results cannot be achieved with the excess weight.

    Now, don't think for one minute that losing weight has come as some great shock to me, because it hasn't. I was planning on having my op in July to allow me the 6 months to lose weight before hand - what has come as a great shock to me is how much I currently weight.

    I have always generally been a size 16, and that's fine. I've resigned myself to that. I'd love to be a size 14, but I've never managed to reach that, no matter how much I diet. However, over the last 12 months, I have eaten myself into a size 20 and I am disgusted with myself. I thought I would have weighted 17 stone odds, but, after having stood on the scales, I can say I am just under 18 and a half stone. I cant even describe how annoyed I am with myself about this. My scales horrified me with 257.4lbs.

    So, January the 1st (or 2nd, depending on what the celebrations are) will be the start of my 3rd attempt at a VLCD diet. I have been diagnosed with PCOS which generally means that dieting is like banging my head off a wall. Cutting calories is all fine and well, but I lose about half a stone and plateau, and thus lose motivation. I've tried Atkins, which I loved first time round. Second time made me ill and every time after I lose interest after a few weeks because I start to feel a bit sick from all the fat. But cutting carbs is the only way I shift the bulge.

    I've tried to do the Cambridge diet a few times in the past, but I can never get the shakes/soups to be 'un-lumpy' and the bars give me stomach pains, and please, don't even get me started on the wallpaper paste porridge! This leaves me with the tetras, and I absolutely hate strawberry and banana flavoured drinks, so I end up living off of chocolate tetras. which is great, for a couple of weeks, and then I'm sick of chocolate - I don't like chocolate at the best of times - I'd much rather have a bag of crisps than a bar of chocolate.

    I also tried slim and save and found the flavours to be much more to my liking, and the fact that they do 'meal' packs is a bonus if I feel like I want to pretend to eat real food. But I failed miserably at this the last time. Partly because I am weak-willed and I need constant motivation, and also because I got the worst constipation I've ever had in my life. Like seriously bad. We're talking 'sat on the toilet for half an hour trying to poop out a bowling ball and eventually had to *ahem* help it out with a good old finger or two.....!

    Bad times.

    However, I badly need to lose at least 4 stones before a surgeon will contemplate giving me my boobs, so VLCD it shall be. With fiber supplements coming out of my ears, and a possibly side order of senacot if I fear the inevitable coming on.

    Now I know what you're all thinking "if you're that fat, surely you must have big boobs already?". No. No I don't. I barely fill an A cup which is completely disproportionate to my size. Alongside the lack of cuppage, because of my size, I need a 38/40 and they don't really make 38/40A bra sizes. Which means I either end up with horrible granny bras from a catalogue, or I buy a 38B and just dont fill it. I choose the latter, but always the '2 cups bigger' ones and keep adjusting my boobs to try and get them to fill the bra.

    Sick of it.

    If this isn't the best motivation of my life then I don't know what is.
  2. Katy87

    Katy87 Well-Known Member

    Good luck x
  3. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Oh you made me laugh re constipation! I use ducolax cos I can never poo!!! Lol lo,.. Drink plenty of water! I'm opposite to you in the boobs department!! I'm at 34/36 F/G depending in make! I'm hoping mine go down! Good luck with the boob job WHEN you have it ( not if) xxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  4. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    Haha! I'm actually about to go and buy some ducolax in a pre-emptive strike!

    The most disappointing thing about my constipation was, that after managing to get it all out (which was no easy task), it didn't make me any lighter on the scales! I swear I should have lost half a stone. Lol!
  5. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Haha...I gave birth to fesper after my son was born!! I had 2 enimas!! And was laid in the bath with the midwives fingers up my arse asking me to bare down and push! I was stitched inside and out arse an all after 3rd degree tear in labor with dan!! My poo was the size of a silverkrin hairspray tin ( large one) I called it fesper lol lol !!!xx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  6. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    Hahaha! Fesper! I never named mine, although I it was called all the names under the sun for a good half an hour. Mine was more like a colony of little ones all stuck together. BFF's if you will.

    Right, enough of this talk! I just unpacked all my packs and ended up rearranging the contents of abut half of my kitchen cupboards. I've yet to advise the OH of this, so I'm sure he will have fun trying to find plates etc later on!
  7. emmaedes

    emmaedes Well-Known Member

    Hi Hun

    Here to follow!!! I'm starting tomorrow!!! I have all my packs!!! Having my last supper tonight :) 6 course meal ;) including fillet steak!!! Lovely!!

    Anyway good luck and what a better reward than new boobs!!!!! How exciting!!

  8. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    Fillet steak sounds lovely! :) I have a venison haunch that I'm cooking for New Years dinner tomorrow, so I'll be starting on the 2nd. If I hadn't already had the venison I'd have started tomorrow as well as the 1st seemed like the most logical date to start.

    I'm really hoping the motivation of new boobs makes me succeed this time. I looked into getting a gastric band last year but apparently I'm not overweight enough to be considered for it. Even privately, I need a BMI of over 40 or over 35 if I have an obesity related health issue, which I don't. Rubbish. :(

    So I've decided that I must have enough willpower to lose the weight on my own, and new boobs are my reward. I need to do this, I want my surgery!!!
  9. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Good luck love xxxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  10. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Haha I love it!! My OH has been told he is self sufficient! He works away but is still off till Monday..I'm not cooking or going near food for the first 5 days! Xxxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  11. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    Mine will live off of pastry lattice things that he can chuck in the oven and then cover in ketchup, or microwave food. He's built like a twig, but he should be a big ball of lard!

    God, it just occurred to me that alongside the constipation, that we will no longer discuss, VLCD diets give me a constant period.... I may bleed to death before July!!!! Or die of sexual frustration! LOL!
  12. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Haha do you really bleed!! Poor you, I don't want sex cos I'll be busy being miserable until I get used to it lol lol.. Just had fish and chips so that was my last major meal for a while!! Xxx Happy new year by the way xxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  13. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    Lol! I do. Not enough to bleed to death, but enough to be irritating!

    ive got roast venison in the slow cooker, but I don't even fancy it. Looking forward to getting stuck into s&s tomorrow. Feel like I'm just waiting about at the moment trying to eat all the Jaffa Cakes and crisps!

    happy new year to you too :) xx
  14. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Iv eaten all the chocolate! Feel scared but like you ready to start xxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  15. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    Ok, so here I am, Day 1.

    Weighed in at 254.6lbs and forced my OH into helping me take measurements for my little slim and save book!
    Had a cafe latte for breakfast/lunch (I was lazy and didnt get out of bed until noon!) and a cup of tea. Currently hugging a bottle of water and thinking I really need to shower! LOL!

    I work 2 jobs at the moment as I'm saving for my BA, so I start my second job at 6.15 tonight. I think I'll have a shake before I leave and one when I get home after 10pm, or maybe I'll just take a bar with me. I cant decide. Its just too tough!
  16. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Claire have you got a camera in my house and watching me lol lol ...your post was so similar to my day!! Still not dressed or showered and didn't get up tll late lol lol... My first day so far....... Got up at 10 had a vanilla shake with a teaspoon of coffee in and had it hot for breakfast, on my 2nd pint of water with lemon flavouring, and gonna have my 2nd shake or soup for dinner!! My OH is gonna take my measurements after we have taken the dog for a walk! Feel happier than thought I would but just starting to feel hungry now!

    Good luck all new starters today. I get weighed tonight at weight watchers! Xxxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  17. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    Lol! I'm showered now. Just watching rubbish on the tv while I wait to leave for work. This second job malarkey is rubbish. I can't wait until July when I can quit lol!
  18. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Iv just had a bath and going to weight watchers to get weighed .. Been closed for Xmas so will see how much iv gained in the two weeks!!

    Hope the job goes ok! What job is it ? Xxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
  19. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

    I'm an accountant by day, crime fighter by night! Aka security at asda lol!
    figured I could put the hundred or so I'll make towards the surgery.

    Every little helps! Oh wait, that's Tesco!

    good luck for your weigh in. :)
    ill be at work til 10pm but I'll try and check in on the sly ;)
  20. Angie0476

    Angie0476 Well-Known Member

    Ooh very good, I'm a secretary for Samaritans! Yeh every little helps!! Lol ...

    Been weighed at Ww and I'm 12st 4lb so iv gained 4lb over two weeks at Xmas!

    Didn't tell anyone what I'm doing!! They think it's pro points ! Pleased really!!

    Tims ( my OH) Has measured me in inches!! So I'll get him to do it again in a month !

    Are you having 3 or 4 packs a day including a bar! .?

    Enjoy work xxxx

    Sent from my iPad using MiniMins

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