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Confession is good for the soul isn't it?

cookey

Full Member
#1
Well here goes:sigh:

I have been struggling for a while eating the packs.Two a day is about all i could mange and i just didn't want any more.I have gone from drinking soup,making crisps,melting the bars and having hot chocolate ,to just having one bar and the hot chocolate at bedtime.Last week i went out with the grandchildren and mother in law and i just couldn't face sitting with nothing so i ordered a grilled fillet of fish with dry lettuce,I couldn't believe anything could taste that good,and the best thing was (NOT) it didn't affect my ketosis or my weight loss.

Now the pain in my back and leg is so bad i am feeling sorry for myself,i am already struggling with lonliness in the evening(fairly newly widowed) and i have done it again and again.If i have a piece of grilled fish in the evening i feel full till the morning and dont get the urge to go foraging.its pathetic .I was so focused and i do really really want to lose this weight ,and i am succeeding with that but i AM STILL CHEATING,and that is making me even more miserable.:confused:

I am drinking my water which was the hardest thing for me in the beginning and during the day i am absolutely fine apart from not taking enough packs.


I will not give this up as i so need it but what the hell is wrong with me!!!!!
 
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x-Katie-x

Gold Member
S: 17st7lb C: 11st6lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 29.6 Loss: 6st1lb(34.69%)
#2
Oh Cookey I'm really sorry to hear you are struggling like this. Do you believe that you are struggling with the diet come what may or that you are struggling because of the pain that you are in? To be honest they are two different things.

Why don't you do as Claire did and set yourself a 'so many days since lapsing' ticker and see if that helps in any way.

Have you spoke to your LlC and what was her advice?
 

cookey

Full Member
#3
I am too ashamed of myself to tell her to be honest.i just know that this constant pain and not being able to do anything is dragging me in to the sort of mood that used to have me running for the biscuit tin,only now i have lost so much weight i want to be doing loads of things and i can't even walk!!!

I think my problem is mindboggling frustration,it feels like the minute i had the energy to do ,my body found a way of sabotaging me and it just makes me want to scream.
 

Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
#4
Cookey - please please PLEASE tell your LLC>.....that is precisely why she is there - to help you learn how to cope with the feelings you are having. It's vital you do it now or else you are throwing your money away and could be doing CD.

I am so sorry about your loss too - grief is a realy bugger. Its huge. So I am sendingyou healing thoughts and hugs - for both your bones and your heart.

But please, do ask for her help - there is nothing you have done that she willnot have heard a gazillion times before. There is NO shame.

Take care you.

xx
 

Corey

longs to be average!
S: 18st11lb C: 18st3lb G: 12st9lb Loss: 0st8lb(3.04%)
#5
Cookey, there is no need to be ashamed of speaking to your LLC. Firstly you will not be the first person to have spoken to her about eating, and secondly, you are paying her and it is her job to counsel and advise. At the end of the day, if you still feel you can't, well it's no big deal, come on here (as you have) and well all do our best to support you.

The idea Katie suggested for the ticker is an excellent one, and well worth considering. Take the diet day by day, that may make it easier, or have you thought about switching to CD? I understand that they do have a plan that permits a meal a day (but not too sure) perhaps that might be worth looking into?

Keep well Cookey and please don't beat yourself up over this.
 

cookey

Full Member
#6
thanks guys.I think the reason why i cant speak to my counsellor is because i am the biggest loser by quite a lot in my class,and just last week when i got weighed she smiled at me and said ..you really are in the swing of this now well done,and all i could think was "if only you knew"so tonight i made a promise ...NO MORE.The lettuce in the fridge is in the bin and i have no other food in the houseso ONWARDS AND DOWNWARDS.

god bless you all for your advice.
 

x-Katie-x

Gold Member
S: 17st7lb C: 11st6lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 29.6 Loss: 6st1lb(34.69%)
#7
Really Cookey your LLC's thoughts and feelings don't come into this, if you have a problem then you need to share it with her, she is there to support you.

Give abstaining a try and see how that goes and if you can't hack it then speak to her --- but in the meantime just try to do tomorrow without eating xx
 

Kellie=]

Silver Member
#8
Cookey your counciller isnt there to judge you hun!
She will totally advise you and help you to move on.
Think of how many people shes came across during her time- you wont be the first to struggle and you certainly wont be the last :D
ill be thinking of you.
Keep your chin up xxxxxxxxxx
 
S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#9
Cookey I was in exactly the same position as u

(except I have not lost a hubby xxx)

I was going to group and losing every week but I knew myself that I was lapsing. I would never have to tell them becase I was always in ketosis and I always lost and my LLC was happy with my progress. I thought exactly the same "if only she knew" and I'm happy to say that "now she knows!" ... Yes I struggle, and everyone has ups and downs on this "diet" but the quicker you come to terms with lapsing, and owning up, the better. I created my lapsing ticker becase it ended up being everyday that I lapsed but because I was still losing I convinced myself it wasnt so bad. Now I'm just honest, Yes I lapse (well i havent for a few weeks) but hey, thats life... tell ur LLC and I'm sure she will understand. The only person you are cheating is yourself... :eek:

... and PS... I'm sorry for your loss... I'm sure it must be hard xxxx
 
#10
Thankyou all so much .you really are the best.

love liz
 

Tange

Silver Member
S: 16st2lb C: 16st2lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#11
Hi Cookey,

You will soon be doing thought records you will find those so helpful. I use them now for so many things, even my spending.

Hang in there and do try and take all your packs, I did the same and it only slowed me down. Now I just force myself to have a soup or a shake even if I am not remotely hungry. I intend to have three meals a day when this journey is over so I now make sure I have breakfast lunch and dinner.

I am so sorry for your loss!
You are a strong lady and I am sure you will succeed. I agree with the others talk to your LLC in private if you need to.

Hugs
T
 
#12
Hi Cookey,

I sympathise with you regarding the lapsing and about telling your LLC. I do agree with the others that you should as that is why we pay double compared to CD (she says knowing she hasnt seen her LLC for three weeks:break_diet:). After reading your posts it bought me down to earth with a big bang.:eek:

We can do this we have done nothing wrong just get it off you chest, like I am going to. I will phone my LLC today and will let you know what she said. I have been a complete fool and used all sorts of excuses.

Sending you lots of positive vibes - we can do this.:vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#13
Hi Cookey,

I sympathise with you regarding the lapsing and about telling your LLC. I do agree with the others that you should as that is why we pay double compared to CD (she says knowing she hasnt seen her LLC for three weeks:break_diet:). After reading your posts it bought me down to earth with a big bang.:eek:

We can do this we have done nothing wrong just get it off you chest, like I am going to. I will phone my LLC today and will let you know what she said. I have been a complete fool and used all sorts of excuses.

Sending you lots of positive vibes - we can do this.:vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
What's happened lady, is everything OK?? Did you speak to your LLC... I haven't seen you around much? xx
 
#14
Well i have had nothing today except my packs and water(gallons of it)It looks as if i have put on 2 lbs over the weekend so i guess that is my punishment,but i am back on the straight and narrow and off to bed now.Weigh in tomorrow and i will see how i feel about speaking to my counsellor.

love liz
 
S: 24st0lb C: 24st0lb G: 18st0lb BMI: 43.1 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#15
Well i have had nothing today except my packs and water(gallons of it)It looks as if i have put on 2 lbs over the weekend so i guess that is my punishment,but i am back on the straight and narrow and off to bed now.Weigh in tomorrow and i will see how i feel about speaking to my counsellor.

love liz
Hey Liz... well done on sticking with it today, just take it one day at a time and you'll do great... night :) xx
 

x-Katie-x

Gold Member
S: 17st7lb C: 11st6lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 29.6 Loss: 6st1lb(34.69%)
#16
Hurray - good on you Liz .... you'll have that 2lb shifted in no time ;)
 


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