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confused

S: 14st13lb C: 14st13lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 38.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#1
hi guys


i've not been around much recently, but i'm in need of soome advice.
last week a random stranger made a nasty comment about my weight. at first, i brushed off and decided not to let it bother me, however since then its all i can think about. now im completly fallen apart. every bit of confidence i had is gone and my attitude towards foo has taken a worrying turn. ive been secretly binging, then eating next to nothing to compensate. one minute ifeel like im happy with my weight then i get insecure and feel like i need to loose more and feel fat.


i feel very lost.


xxx
 
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IreneH

Gold Member
#2
I know it is hard to try and forget what was said but that person was just trying to get an effect. Now you know and I know how well you have done and how successful you have been on this journey. Try and remember how you felt every day when you had had a good SW day and see if you can recapture the feeling.

The confidence will come back.

Irene xx
 
G: 10st7lb
#3
Ah luv - ((hugs)) whoever made the comment is a knob... you have done so amazingly well and you don't deserve to feel this way.

Show me a dieter who hasn't got food issues and I'll show you a liar!! Ok, so bingeing isn't the best idea but having been there, I also know that the way we beat ourselves up afterwards, just isn't worth it.

Please, please don't beat yourself up or put yourself down, you are amazing... an inspiration to many of us on here!! No matter what one person says to you, you know how far you have come and you know you don't want to go back to where you were... so hard and all as it is, forget the nasty comment and be safe in the knowledge that whoever made it has no idea how wonderful Karma is...and it will come back and bite them in the ass!!
 
#4
Oh Fern, I cant believe some idiot has made you feel this way. I credit you with my wanting to lose weight in the first place! I saw you as the most extraordinary inspiration, being so young, yet so determined to make a change. Thanks to you, (& others who were prominent around the time I joined Minimins last year) I got to target just like you.

Sadly this world will always contain idiots, who get their kicks from such cretinous behaviour, but rest assured, you did something about your weight, & changed yourself forever. Whereas they will always be cretinous idiots! Please please dont let them get to you, you are bigger than that (metaphorically speaking of course!) better than that, & just downright lovelier! & come back & post, we MISS YOU! xxxxxxx
 
S: 9st11lb C: 8st9lb G: 8st9lb BMI: 22.1 Loss: 1st2lb(11.68%)
#5
I know it's hard but try to put aside what they've said. You're at target now & remind yourself as often as you need to. You've achieved that yourself, it's all your hard work, nobody elses. You should be so proud for acheiving what you have.

The person who made the comment isn't worth bothering over, all that matters is how you feel & we all know how good you feel. Remember when you hit target what it felt like, well hold that thought you've done amazing.;)
 
#6
first of all,I'm sending you a boot up the bum cos I know you know better!Now thats done lets sit down and think about this. As has already been said,everyone of us here has issues with food,self esteem and what others think of us.We may not have all of them but at least at one of them. It sounds to me like that boorish oaf who made the comment also has these issues or they wouldn't think it was important enough to say. In other words they have displaced/transferred their issues onto you and used you as their whipping boy.We all have esteem problems but that idiot tried to offload theirs onto you. that is unacceptable!!!They will not solve their problems by shifting blame.They probably felt quite proud that they were clever enough to insult an innocent bypasser. Question is whether you are going to allow them to take your esteem and all the pride you have earned by losing weight and achieving something important to you. Easy to say I know,but as my hubby says-Its us against them or with them.Don't let the bas***ds grind you down.We are all with you and we know what you are worth-a heck of a lot.So dust yourself down and be proud of who you are,cos I am very proud of you and everyone else here -we all try hard and support each other(not hurt each other).hold your head up andf remember you came off best by not lowering yourself to their standards.Sending you love,hugs and everyting you wish for.I am really cross if you hadn't noticed.xx
 
S: 13st13.5lb C: 13st13.5lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 33.6 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#7
hun was this stranger female? if so they are jealous cause i've looked at your pictures and you look amazing and i'm not just saying that.
can I ask what they said?
don't let them get to you hun remember how well you have done and how getting to target felt.
also how can anyone make a nasty comment about someone that is a size 10 they must have insecuries themself
 

Circes

Strutting her stuff
S: 17st12lb C: 10st7lb BMI: 22.3 Loss: 7st5lb(41.2%)
#8
Making a 'fat' remark to a woman is pretty much guaranteed to hit the mark no matter what size or shape they are. It's an easy win as just about every woman has issues with her body in some way.

It's like bullying really, for that moment in time the person has control over you but now you are choosing to give them control by dwelling on it and eating youself up about it. Really it says more about that person than about you, so give yourself a hug and put it behind you.
 

fillymum

synful soul
S: 107kg C: 85kg G: 79kg BMI: 33.2 Loss: 22kg(20.56%)
#9
For goodness sake. You weigh 134lbs, someone show me how that can be seen to be fat !!!!

Look at this picture and tell me what you see......



You see a gorgeous, slim young lady.

Whoever it was that upset you must have there own issues and had set out to deliberately hurt you......don't let them.

Just keep looking at that photo and see the truth.
 

Morgawr

Silver Member
G: 10st7lb
#11
Nothing more I can add to what has already been said.

But you know what you are an inspiration to people on here - including me. You are always ready to offer support and advice. You were in the finals of the young slimmer of the year. You have acheived so much and you are most certainly not fat (assuming that is what was said, or similar).

As has been already said, using weight to get a reaction is an easy win - these kind of people would call someone who is a size six fat - they are not worth worrying about and certainly not worth bingeing over.

after all that :hug99: and don't let the idiots, as that is what they are, ruin what you have worked so hard to obtain.
 

*EB*

Gold Member
#12
Ferny :( i cant believe someone can be so nasty. U come across on here as a total sweetie, and i cant believe that anyone could say something to upset you - intentionally.

Just follow everyones amazing advice, ignore the small minded person. The rotton apples in the barrel are always left behind.

I hope you get back on track and dont get into a rut of poor eating habits - because if you start binging and starving, then the rotton apple has won.

Lots of love, xxxx
 

elizabeth

Silver Member
S: 19st1lb C: 8st11lb G: 9st10lb BMI: 21.8 Loss: 10st4lb(53.93%)
#13
Making a 'fat' remark to a woman is pretty much guaranteed to hit the mark no matter what size or shape they are. It's an easy win as just about every woman has issues with her body in some way.
Yep. I posted recently about witnessing an absolutely gorgeous young mum with a great figure being subjected to loud insults about her weight by a group of lads walking behind her. The problem lies with the people making the remarks, hon - they are insecure in their own ways, and threatened by a pretty woman who seems confident in herself. The insults are their attempt to make themselves feel powerful, nothing at all to do with you on a personal level. It could have been anyone, quite literally.

You've done so amazingly well not just in losing the weight, but on working on your relationship with food. You've really made some great strides in that department recently, so hold your head up, and remember that the reason YOU don't feel the need to make comments to random strangers insulting their weight is because you are an infinitely better and stronger person than the type who upset you so much. You are strong in a way they won't ever understand. :)
 

RubyMoss

Silver Member
S: 11st12lb C: 11st10.9lb G: 9st4lb BMI: 26.6 Loss: 0st1.1lb(0.66%)
#14
What insane person could possibly comment on your weight? Honestly, I'm gobsmacked.

Please, hun, ignore whoever said it. They're not even worth the effort of thinking about their idiocy. They're either jealous, or an absolute moron... or both. You just make sure you stay true to yourself, and proud as ever that you'd achieved such a fantastic weight loss and look absolutely stunning! :D xxx
 

fillymum

synful soul
S: 107kg C: 85kg G: 79kg BMI: 33.2 Loss: 22kg(20.56%)
#15
Just follow everyone's amazing advice, ignore the small minded person. The rotten apples in the barrel are always left behind.
That is a brilliant saying. I have never heard it before and is so applicable here for Fern. She certainly will never be the one that is left behind with her gorgeous figure and sweet nature.
 
#16
You said it was "a random stranger". Therefore obviously a person of no significance whatsoever. There are all sorts of random strangers out there, of whose opinions I know nothing and care less.

Somebody yelled at me in the car park the other day that I was a terrible driver (actually, I am an excellent driver, just a dreadful parker!). So what? He might be right, he might be wrong, it is of no importance whatsoever.
 
S: 14st13lb C: 14st13lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 38.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#17
hey guys


thankyou for all your kind words. i really appreciate it.


basically i was in morrisons getting petrol, i spotted some big bars of galaxy on for a pound..i picked it up, feeling i deserved a treat. then this middle aged lady turned to me and ssaid ‘should you really be eating that at your size?’ everybody heard and i was so mortified i just paid for my petrol, and left.

i want to just let it go but im struggeling . i feel like im back at square one with reguards to my relationship with food, which is fru strating.

hubby cant understand hy icant just let it go, i just feel a bit wobbled by it.


xxx
 

fillymum

synful soul
S: 107kg C: 85kg G: 79kg BMI: 33.2 Loss: 22kg(20.56%)
#18
That is unbelievable !!! Was she a complete stranger?? I find it incomprehensible someone could say that .

Where was she looking. I say it again YOU ARE GORGEOUS !!!!!
 

Morgawr

Silver Member
G: 10st7lb
#19
hey guys


thankyou for all your kind words. i really appreciate it.


basically i was in morrisons getting petrol, i spotted some big bars of galaxy on for a pound..i picked it up, feeling i deserved a treat. then this middle aged lady turned to me and ssaid ‘should you really be eating that at your size?’ everybody heard and i was so mortified i just paid for my petrol, and left.

i want to just let it go but im struggeling . i feel like im back at square one with reguards to my relationship with food, which is fru strating.

hubby cant understand hy icant just let it go, i just feel a bit wobbled by it.


xxx

Think she might need her eyes testing - she wasn't driving was she? If so I think it may be best to stay off any roads anywhere near her when she's out.
 
#20
Hope your feeling a bit better today.I'm still fuming at her cheek. I hadn't seen a aphoto until fillymum posted it .She needs glasses!!!I'd honestly love to look like you.Hey maybe thats what she meant-if you ate the chocolate you could have ended up looking like her. Obviously jealous xx
 


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