Consultant put me on a downer

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by captain nemo, 28 July 2010 Social URL.

  1. captain nemo

    captain nemo Chunky Munkey

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    Before i joined SW i was so down about my weight and not being able to get my head into losing or even controlling it that i asked my doctor to refer me for a gastric bypass.

    this was around january and last week i had my initial appointment with the surgeon, we went through my weight/diet history and associated health issues.

    He was very pleased that id managed to lose 2 st so far on SW, but commented that due to my history of massively fluctuating and generally increasing weight (4yr ago i lost 6 1/2st on atkins then put 7 1/2 on), that i was unlikely to be able to maintain my losses and would eventually fail and end up heavier than when i started.

    he more or less said that it was inevitable, he said that they would continue to see me at the clinic and even if i lost a substantial ammount of weight, that they would still be keen to carry out the gastric bypass to stop me putting more weight on.

    Now, prior to this appointment i was very confident that i could continue with my losses, now im not, i had a small gain this week, and im deffinately going to have a bad week this week as im at a festival fri to mon, since the appointment ive found it harder to stick to the plan and ive been slipping a bit with stuff i shouldnt be having,

    ive really taken it to heart and maybe read into what he said more than he intended and took it literally, that im going to fail and weight gain once again is inevitable.
     
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  3. MichelleB

    MichelleB Full Member

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    (((())))

    You have done so well so far with all the weight you have lost. Don't let your consultants bluntness lead you to spiral out of control.
    Try and regain some of your inner strength - you certainly have it to have lost all that weight so far. If people tell me I can't do something or that I will fail at something, I go all out to prove them wrong - almost like putting two fingers up at them and proving that I can do whatever I chose to achieve.
    As for the festival weekend, you could try and pack a SW picnic with as much SS food as possible. That way if you do have a few drinks, it won't be so bad :cool:

    Michelle
     
  4. Lovely_Laura

    Lovely_Laura Moooooo

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    I think doctors stop being normal when they pass medical school. Not all but most and definitely consultants. Could they have their heads any further up their own bum?:p Sorry but it's a real hate of mine that they feel they know it all. Looking at your past history of weight loss and gain just written on the paper can't look great to them but there's no need to be discouraging about it. If you want to have surgery then great, he'll do it. That's more than a lot of consultants who seem to use every reason under the sun not to do it but if you don't want it then tell him. Say you are very aware of the past but you feel differently now and you'd like to feel supported. Tell him that he'll be the first to know should you change your mind but for now could he just accept your decision and see how things go. Don't let what he's said put you off, you're doing well and it may last forever. We don't know how things will be in a year or more but you can be in charge of your diet as you've shown. Don't let some doctor who thinks he's god change how you feel about yourself, it's your life, you know what you struggle with and have to deal with. The past is just that and there's no reason it will happen again.:)
     
  5. moomintrolljen

    moomintrolljen Will be thin god dammit!!

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    Aw dont feel down
    I can see what your doctor is saying in one respect but the thing is if you CAN do this yourself and continue to lose weight in this healthy way then a gastric band surely wont be necessary.
    I have a friend who has had one and it was still around a year from seeing the doc to getting it fitted as they monitor your weight beforehand so just think how much you can lose in a year on SW!
    Continue on plan with Sw and Minimins support and when it comes to the point of possibly getting the band you may have changed your mind x
     
  6. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    owww the b*** thats made me so mad to hear he said that to you hun.
    you have done amazing atkins is different its not a diet i think people can keep to for life.
    if i was you hun i would make it my life mission to prove him wrong. he treated you terriable hun you can't let him get away with this and when you walk though that door at target having done it yourself and look amazing and he treats you like you are god gift (cause some men only see skinny woman or numbers ) you can turn around and say now you watch me maintain this because i'm not just a statitic i'm a person i'm amazing losing all this weight on my own i feel great and look great and theres no way i'm going back.
    and even though what you said to me really hurt and could of made me fail like many i'm sure have i'm stronger than that.

    you can do this hun we all have faith in you.
     
  7. Carthago delenda est

    Carthago delenda est Silver Member

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    Your doctor obviously doesn't realise how this plan works. Atkins is great for weight loss, but it is not a plan for life - as soon as you eat 'normally' again, the weight goes back on. However, with SW, you know how to be in control whilst eating great wholesome food. And when you do get to your target weight, you have the tools and the know-how to maintain.

    A weight-loss journey is all about ups and downs. This very forum has taught me that a gain is not the end of the world. I used to be of the mindset that a gain meant that I would never lose weight, but now I understand that bodies are not machines and things such as festivals as you mention can throw a tiny spanner in the works, but then so what? Have your fun, limit the damage as best you can and then go back on-plan! Simple.

    Don't feel bad about going off-plan - we all do it from time to time. As long as go back on-plan then it's fine. Try to draw a line under it and start afresh :)

    Your weight loss so far is amazing, keep it up. Hope you feel better soon.
     
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  8. captain nemo

    captain nemo Chunky Munkey

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    i just have to add........... im a bloke , not a lady,
    i think the biggest thing the consultant is guilty of its possibly not understanding how fragile confidence can be, and that it doesnt take much to unsettle it.

    He was, in fairness, a very understanding bloke, hes a diabetes consultant and was telling me that he sees almost 3000 people a year for referal for gastric bypass and that around 70% of those arent suitable, he just explained the facts about how being so overweight would affect my health. I think i paid took more on board from some of his comments though, mainly when he said that statisticly i was more likely to put on more weight than i lost.
    i also think that theres a different mental approach to weight loss between people who are severly overweight, and people who want to lose a cpl of stone say, i think that unless someone has been severly overweight, its very difficult to understand the thoughts that go through big peoples heads, and generally how our relationships with food are different to "normal" people,

    i think maybe thats the consultants weakness, that hes unable to think like a fat person,

    i do think though that he genuinly wants to help though and that he thinks his approach is the best long term, he wasnt putting pressure on for surgery, he just explained that it was a future option.
     
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  9. Circes

    Circes Strutting her stuff

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    I agree with everything that has been said but just wanted to add one thing. At the end of the day he can't make you have the gastric bypass. You are in charge and you have final say.
     
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  10. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    Your consultants comments made me so angry. How does he know how you will do with your weight loss/gain. He was only looking at statistics, which you must remember are that statistics. This is real life, don't prove him right show him how well you have done & can continue to do so.

    You've done so well so far don't let this get you down. You've got lots of 'virtual friends' here & we're all here when you need us.

    The festival isn't reason to go off plan, take lots of SW friendly food & treats & you should be fine. Have a lovely time.
     
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  11. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    How awful for you. What a thoughtless thing to say!

    He is obviously looking at things from a very clinical perspective- statistically most people fail at diets- this is true. But just because something is statistically more likely does NOT mean it is a pre-determined. If anything he has almost made it more likely to fail with his lack of belief in you- do NOT let this put you off- use it as your motivation to prove him wrong. Remember:

    -If no diets ever worked, no-one would ever do them.
    -If people do unrealistic, quick-fix, faddy diets they are MUCH more likely to regain the weight, so the figures look worse than they actually are (in my 2 years of doing SW my friend has done 4 mad diets and failed at them all and gained more weight- so statistically between us we only have a 20% success rate- yet I am still going strong!)
    -The NHS agrees that SW is a realistic sustainable plan as it actually refers people onto it and pays for them! Why would they do that if it wasn't successful.

    Prove him wrong and let him use the bypass operation on himself to bypass a little common sense into his mouth before he speaks next time!

    Grrrrrrrrrrrr
     
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  12. IanH

    IanH Silver Member

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    Don't let this idiot put you off... You are on a healthy eating plan and it will shortly become a habit and if you want it to then you will be able to keep the weight off - because you'll be in the habit of eating healthily.

    Nothing is inevitable - except taxes and death. You have made the change to your life to ensure that you can get healthy - and have a better life. The only thing therefore that will also be inevitable is your continued weight loss.

    You've lost 2st. I'm sure you've seen the changed in yourself already. Imagine what those changes will have grown into in another 2st, and another, and another (or however far you want to take it). You can do this - don't let someone else put you off...

    .
     
  13. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    oops i'm sorry.
    maybe thats part of the reason he just told you straight because you are a man he thinks you can handle it.
    I believe you can do this and still should prove him wrong whether he meant well or not.
     
  14. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Ok...from reading this, I have mixed feelings too.
    I had a gastric band 2.5 years ago. I was lucky that I was in a position where I could afford to have this done privately. Still, I had to pass a rigorous interview with the Consultant who initially discussed a bypass and then we settled on a band as its reversible.
    Your Consultant should not have said what he did to you full stop, regardless of you being a man or a woman.
    I am/was a typical example of a yo-yo dieter and it got to the stage where I would have chest pains from walking a few steps. I have tried every diet imaginable, but for me its not an issue of quality of food, but quantity. Whilst SW teaches you about Healthy Eating, it doesnt teach you about portion control (foods are described as "unlimited")...now, to me, "unlimited" used to mean a challenge, eat as much as you could because it is free! I have tried to re-educate my portion sizes and that didnt work, so for me the band was a last hope life line...and I mean...life!
    SW is fantastic and you should be applauded for your losses. You should feel proud that you have achieved this loss by eating healthily.
    Im not proud of the fact that I have a band and as I said, it wasnt something that I thought about lightly...it blooming hurt to begin with and the vomitting if you over eat isnt something that should be sniffed at!!
    Anyway...what Im trying to say, without boring you any more :) is, if you feel that you can loose your weight by following a healthy eating programme without the need for surgery, then go for it.
    Remember at the end of the day, you are doing this for your benefit, not for some Consultant that is going to get paid by the NHS or someone's pocket.

    Lesson ended! Lol

    x
     
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  15. captain nemo

    captain nemo Chunky Munkey

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    Thanks everyone for their comments, i dont think its helped that a friend of mine had a gastric bypass with the same surgeon earlier this year, and ive seen how its changed her life. but its also totally changed her relationship with food, i enjoy food, ive just got to get into the habit of enjoying it at a sensible level
     
  16. deg

    deg Full Member

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    Really hope you can do this all SW way with no need for band.
     
  17. Gemma_C

    Gemma_C Member

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    Prove them wrong. Stay strong and focused.
    Kick consultant butt girl! xx
     
  18. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    .............boy!!!!
     
  19. blissfulbabe

    blissfulbabe Full Member

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    That's such a true statement! If you can do this, then you will definitely prove your consultant wrong.

    The great thing about SW is that it helps to re-educate not just your body but your mind too. As a compulsive overeater and binger I find SW the easiest way to keep things under control - I can honestly say I haven't has a binge since I started and I think this is partly due the fact that I am eating very healthily and giving my body all the nutrients it needs and partly because, although no food is banned, everything has a syn 'price'. If a food is banned then I instantly crave it and think about it all the time - no food is banned, so no cravings. If a 'nice' food is free (such as meat on Atkins) I overindulge - everything but fruit and veg is synned or portion controlled on SW, so no overindulging on high calorific foods on a daily basis.

    The degree of flexibility on SW is just right for me as well - am going for an indian meal next week so I will chose sensibly BUT I am going to share a nan bread - I am so looking forward to that nan as I don't usually eat bread as I like to use my HEXs on other things. I am going to Flexisyn that day - I don't feel anxious about going out for the meal (I used to get really worried about eating out on other diets, in case I 'broke' the diet) and I know it won't start me on that slippery road of thinking "well, I didn't stick to diet yesterday, I must be rubbish at dieting, HELLOOOO Mr Cadburys!", because it's planned and I'm still in control.

    I know other people lose weight at a much faster rate that I do because they are stricter with themselves. My target is lose 100lbs by Cristmas 2011 - a rate loss of about a pound a week. I know my journey to being healthy (and 'normal' with food) is a long slow one - and to tell the truth I am really enjoying the weight loss journey, for the first time ever - and that's all thanks to SW!

    Good luck with your weight loss and I hope it helps with the mind shift you are hoping for.:)
     
  20. mella

    mella Full Member

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    I think I know what your consultant meant but he just didn't say it very well, not that I could word it well either lol. I know a couple of people that have had the bypass and watched endless programmes about it. From what I've seen I think he meant is that while your relationship with food stays the same, eg turning to food in crisis time in your life, all the people regained any weight loss (before bypass). But after they had counselling and found the real root of there problems and why they ate in the way they did, they were then equipped to deal with any issues without turning to food.
    I think you need to ask yourself why you approached them for the bypass and remember that after surgery your relationship with food will not be the same afterwards. Loads of people on the programmes said that they no longer really 'enjoy' food anymore.
    Either way, keeping up the SW is surely a good thing. Even if you decide to opt for the surgery, loosing as much weight as possible before hand will only help to reduce the risks of the surgery.
    Mel
     
  21. captain nemo

    captain nemo Chunky Munkey

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    i think i went to the docs about a bypass out of desperation, i couldnt get my head into losing weight and i saw it as a last ditch measure to stop myself getting health problems, i was very unhappy with my weight and inability to control it and the bypass seemed like a last ditch thing, i didnt make the decision lightly im well aware of the permantent changes it would cause,
    i feel a lot stronger and confident that i can do it on my own now compared to January, and im pretty sure that weight loss is 100% in your own head, if your heads into it your body well follow, but if your heads not in the right place, no wasy on earth you'll be able to do it.
     
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