Dear Slimmer Me.........

Discussion in 'Dukan Diet' started by Lausanne, 12 August 2011 Social URL.

  1. Lausanne

    Lausanne I can if I think I can.

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    August 2011
    Dear Slimmer Me,
    For the rest of your life I am going to ask you to promise only onething – when losing weight and you have cravings read this, when you’re losing weight and you want to throw in the towel read this, when you’ve lost the weight and you know you’re slipping back to eating the wrong amounts or the wrong foods read this, when you’ve lost the weight and see the scales edging more than 5lbs upwards read this. Surely you can do this one thing for yourself, aren’t you important enough?
    You take pride in trying to live a life being friendly, kind and truthful so you can be the best you can be spiritually, you take pride in always learning new things, to being open to new and different viewpoints so you can be the best you can be intellectually, you want to be proud of a slim, strong, healthy body so you can be the best you can be physically. All three need reflection, perseverance and dedication from you and no one else.
    Don’t allow others to dissuade you in this journey of losing weight and keeping it off forever. You are very unhappy when overweight, you hate going to your wardrobe and struggling to find something that covers the rolls and the bulges, you are tired of catching yourself in the mirror and wondering who the hell that big person is, you are fed up of trying to disguise the extra weight in layers and dark colours. Be strong and refuse food that you do not want, develop a polite, friendly firm way of refusing the food that will make you put on weight. Be slim long enough and people will get used to the fact that you are thin and when you refuse food they will say “Sure, isn’t that why you’re so slim?”
    You love going to the shops/wardrobe and putting on clothes that make you feel a million dollars, you love dressing in bright colours, interesting styles, beautiful footwear, gorgeous quirky jewellery, you love the confident feeling if gives you. You know you only want to give this silent shout to the world “Look at me, I’m proud of me!” when you are slim and toned.
    You feel miserable when you are overweight – you want to sneak into the background of photographs or better still avoid them altogether. You are reluctant to meet new people; you are embarrassed to meet old friends that you haven’t seen in a while. You feel guilty that you are not setting a better example to the children you teach, you feel guilty that the slim girl your husband met no longer exists. You feel like a failure and it has nothing to do with other people, you know you’ve failed yourself.
    Early memories of sneaking food in childhood, of adults laughing at how much you ate and marvelling at your great appetite are painful and you want to push those memories far into a dark corner and pretend they have nothing to do with you. Sod that! Let’s bring those memories out and get a good look at them. Ever since you remember you have had a pudgy belly, you were never happy with your body, you always felt inferior; everyone was slimmer, more beautiful than you. You always felt awkward, big and ungainly. You ate to smother these negative emotions. You ate to distract yourself from these painful issues; you ate to be too busy to face up to them.
    You confused the pleasure and comfort of food as a way to feel better. You now know that food can never be a substitute for love, now that you’re older you know that you are not to blame for the failures of others. It is time to become more aware of who you are, develop interiority, be less influenced by the negativity and shortcomings of others. Accept that we are all human, accept that you cannot force a loving relationship from a parent who is incapable of such love; accept that you cannot rely on a supportive relationship with adult siblings who have their own issues with food.
    Thirty four years of living and you were only happy with your weight a small amount of the time. It has to stop. Each year on your birthday you say to yourself “Next year I’ll be slim.” But you’re never are. This is the last year that you have let yourself down. On your 35th birthday you will be slim, you will step on the scales and be thrilled with the number you see, you will be able to go to your wardrobe and select a fabulous frock and you will feel a million dollars and you will be proud of yourself. You will do this every year as your birthday present to yourself for the rest of your life.
    When you close your eyes and imagine yourself, it’s a slim, confident, laughing, radiant person you envisage. Open your eyes, take a good hard look in the mirror, what do you see? What does it say about much you value yourself? Lose this weight – keep the weight off. You only live once and you deserve better than a life full of regrets. Every day, take a step closer to being the best you can be. You’ve already started on the journey so just keep plodding on, putting one foot in front of the other in the right direction, it will keep getting easier and soon you’ll be whizzing along with a spring in your step.
    Yours sincerely,
    Overweight Me.
     
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  3. stmcalee01

    stmcalee01 Full Member

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    Wow. I could have said that. Great idea.
     
  4. Snakes and ladders

    Snakes and ladders Silver Member

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    The bit about sneaking food in childhood, and adults marvelling (and encouraging!) my large appetite are very poignant memories for me too. In fact I now realise that I have always felt "proud" of having a large appetite, for that reason.

    Your letter reminds me that it's time to take the reigns. I don't have to please anyone with how much I eat.

    Thank you for your helpful post!
     
  5. wheesht

    wheesht Just keep swimming...

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    What an incredibly open, moving post. Has actually reduced me to tears as can empathise with so much of it.

    And a great idea too. D'you mind if I work on one of my own?
     
  6. missfitness25

    missfitness25 last diet.......EVER!!

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    WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Your letter was something that if I'd have written it would have been exactly the same.............I always thought it was just me:confused:
    The only bit that makes me realise I didn't write it, is your 'a bit' younger than me:rolleyes:
     
  7. missfitness25

    missfitness25 last diet.......EVER!!

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    Lausanne,
    I just realized we're the same height, starting, & ending at the same weights (near as damb it!!) :rolleyes:Ali
     
  8. locket

    locket Full Member

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    What an honest, insightful and moving thread. It's very brave to share it with us all.
    You've got a world of support right here. We'll be with you as every pound drops off.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Lausanne

    Lausanne I can if I think I can.

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    Please do, Wheesht. I felt so much positivity after my outpouring, hopefully you will too. Having it here means I can log on any time and remind myself of what I want to achieve. Browsing the before and after gallery is another thing that spurs me on. :) Xx

    Thank you Locket, I'm so glad I found this forum. The camraderie is wonderful and I value the time people take to respond and support each other. :) Xx
     
  10. wheesht

    wheesht Just keep swimming...

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    You really have come to terms with all your issues surrounding food which is great.

    Am going to have long think about my relationship with food and why I do what I do. I might be gone for a while hehe!
     
  11. Lausanne

    Lausanne I can if I think I can.

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    Thanks for replying, Wheesht. Sadly I'm nowhere close to coming to terms with all my food issues. I'd love to be one of those people who never think about food and stay slim regardless. But hey, c'est la vie! Feeling positive about Dukan and can only give it my very best shot. :) Xx
     
  12. wheesht

    wheesht Just keep swimming...

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    You and I both Lausanne, I guess we will always have to be wary of slipping back into bad habits.

    But this is the first diet that has made sense for treating my issues with food for the rest of my life, not just as a quick fix.

    Thank goodness.

    Was thinking last night about my letter - when I have a few minutes later will write it all down.
     
  13. wheesht

    wheesht Just keep swimming...

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    You and me both unfortunately. I will always have to be aware of what I am doing and be careful not to slip back into bad habits.

    But I feel confident that Dukan has given me a way to deal with this, not just while I am losing, but for the long term. Is such a relief!

    Have been thinking about my letter. Will try and write it tonight when I have time. Have a good day : )
     
  14. Lausanne

    Lausanne I can if I think I can.

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    Thanks Wheesht, have been reading in the Dukan 'bible' about fat memory and how our bodies try to regain the extra padding after a loss. It actually rings true to me. I've lost weight in the past only to eat all around me with wild abandonment and end up back at the weight I started at or worse.

    It's strange because I know it's ridiculous behaviour at the time but it's like I'm on auto pilot! What's worse is I keep saying "well, I might as well eat what I like today so when I'm back to being 'good' tomorrow I won't be tempted." I eat like a fiend, mostly not even properly enjoying what I'm eating, and the 'tomorrow' is put off and put off.

    Slashing the sugar and carbs with Dukan has helped with the cravings and there's no excuse to be hungry. It's funny even though it's months off, I'll be anxious about conso - I''d be worried as soon as I'm allowed a little carbs I'll lose the run of myself again. Hopefully the experienced Dukaners here will help when I get to that stage.

    I hope you get a chance to write something for yourself. Do you keep a diary on here? I find it very good and the support from other posters is so welcome.

    Have a delightful Dukan day! :) Xx
     
  15. CHRISR

    CHRISR Gold Member

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    Dear Lausanne and Wheest
    Everyone on this forum has or has had issues with food. We can all understand one another because we have been there! I for one can relate to your letter and some of the problems that I have. I am doing this for myself because eating rubbish was getting out of control and I want to be healthy. My family are 110% behind me and if anything this has shown me how much they love me :) and for that alone I am very grateful to Dr D and this forum for helping me in this journey.

    We are in this together.
     
  16. wheesht

    wheesht Just keep swimming...

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    Oh my goodness. Are you me? Are our minds programmed to think this way? What gets me is that we are intelligent, rational women (well I can be occasionally :D) yet we fall into the same traps and allow our minds and bodies to trick us in the same ways over and over again.

    NO MORE I say. I am going to be in control of this body and mind. It will do what I say and what I want! Thanks to Dukan of course!

    Not even thinking about conso yet - have finally got into the cruise mindset and the thought of adding carbs really doesn't bear thinking about! I imagine by the time you get to conso you will be ready for the change though. I will be looking to you for guidance :D

    I haven't started a diary yet. I have meant to but have been so busy just have not had time I suppose. Anyway i have a WHOLE day off today <thud> so have made my first, incredibly successful, galette and will start the diary and write my letter today.

    Hope you have a fab day too xx
     
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