Determination...

Discussion in 'Lipotrim Forum' started by BlackRose, 18 October 2008 Social URL.

  1. BlackRose

    BlackRose Gold Member

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    My final thoughts of the day a la Jerry Springer...

    For the second night in a row my wonderful but hungry OH has ordered Pizza. For the second night n a row I am not even vaguely interested in participating in this pizza fest he seems to be indulging in. I'm not angry at him, he's been unwell and is starting LT in the morning -we all love our last suppers don't we folks?

    I went out for coffee this evening with some uni mates, I had a lovely time, and it didnt even occur to me to eat anything -I am loving my black coffee these days -LOVING IT! lol

    I am feeling sooo determined I have no interest in eating. I want to look good, feel good and achieve something.

    I have decided I want to do my Masters next year and my weight seriously affected my degree so I am sorting myself out once and for all so I can enjoy my uni experience. I want to get a grip on the depression, panic attacks and social phobia that have threatened to take over my life completely and turn me into a recluse. I have had enough! There is too much life out there to be had -there's too much to see and do and not enough time to f**k about and not grab as much of it as we can.

    I know the weight is just the start but it eases a lot of my problems majorly and I am soo happy that I am comfortably on the road to making my life and my family's lives better.


    That's me for now I think...

    take care of yourselves...and each other ;) ;) :D
     
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  3. Less Rotund One

    Less Rotund One Gold Member

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    Your will power is an inspiration - well done you!

    When others are eating - I just chant in my head...this will be over in about 5 minutes time - it has worked so far.

    Keep going

    LRO x
     
  4. fragglerock64

    fragglerock64 Silver Member

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    wow Blackrose you sound determined, well u know where here to support you anyway we can, though when OH starts I'm sure you both support each other all the best with the Masters you can do what ever you put your mind to.

    xx
    Sharron
     
  5. tara66

    tara66 Silver Member

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    I love reading your posts they are thought provoking and inspiring (that includes your very occasional fed up ones too). I have lost a lot of weight recently and am feeling great. I put on the really big part of it whilst battling depression and have only really been able to seriously address my weight as my depression started to lift (with meds etc). I still have bad and good days but who doesn't.

    I don't feel the weight caused my depression I think it was a physical expression of how I felt inside about myself and the world. I do know that it really didn't help and losing some weight really started to make me feel more hopeful about my life.

    I really relate to your feeling that there is loads out there for you and am very glad that you feel that you can start to embrace some of that. Just the fact you talk about it so openly on here will really help someone, maybe someone who never posts but reads the forum.

    You are a lovely person and I am so glad you are here and that things are going well for you x
     
  6. molly68

    molly68 Full Member

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    Wise and inspiring words Blackrose, your doing amazing xxx
     
  7. BlackRose

    BlackRose Gold Member

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    making me cry...you're not allowed to make me cry..to late. I'm crying.

    But thank you so much, we re all here helping each other right. Everyone bares their soul here even a little so that we all know that 'it's not just me'.

    Still determined..still going...


    :D :D :D :D...and a little...:cry:
     
  8. moanz

    moanz Full Member

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    Well done, i'm sorry to hear your uni yrs were affected, i've got a feeling you're going to be so much more confident next time, & rally enjoy yourself, i wish you all the best with it xxx
     
  9. Angie44

    Angie44 Silver Member

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    rose and tara I love to see what you express you speak the same language as me..When I read your posts I think about all the people this diet must be setting free from the prison their weight has kept them in and every pound I have in excess weight is emotional baggage I have carried around with me for far too long now. I don't need it anymore.....nothing against you guys on the forum cause you are great too but I love seeing the women so empowered xxxxxxxx
     
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  10. CherryRocks

    CherryRocks I love my purdy shoes

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    Blackrose you always start interesting threads. Good luck with your masters. And i'm totally with you when you say your weight has affected your life and studies. It's amazing how being overweight can bring you so low that you don't want to do anything. It's hindered me from doing my teaching degree and losing this weight i'm starting to consider it again.

    I try not to get angry that I let myself get to Super obese. When your enjoying your takeways and meals out you don't think oh my god im screwing my life up and I'm not realising the consequences....but i'm getting my life back now...I have relinquished control.

    Good luck to you all in whatever your new lives bring you...
     
  11. BlackRose

    BlackRose Gold Member

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    Absolutely! especially since I dont think I've ever read even once that anyone is doing this for someone other than themselves. Yes, we might want to be healthier for our kids or something similar but ultimately we all realise that shedding the weight allows us to feel good again, human -like we can go out into the world again. And we want that -for ourselves.

    Angie - you put it succinctly -every pound is a excess baggage and we all need to travel lighter in order to go further.

    Thanks for all the support ya gorgeous gorgeous beatches! ;) :D
     
  12. BlackRose

    BlackRose Gold Member

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    Oh moanz -you've no idea! lol I love my subject -I truly do, but the last year and half was a total nightmare! So I'm going to apply for the masters and if I get accepted I am determined to suck every ounce of meat out of the bone (ooh! perhaps a bad turn of phrase lol) -well get the most out of it ya know what I mean ;)

    Thanks for your support woman. :D
     
  13. cuddlyfairy

    cuddlyfairy Gold Member

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    A fantastic post Rose and I am loving your positiveness! I can't believe I let myself get to morbidly obese and looking back I really missed out on lots of things coz I did. This week, for the first time in a long time I actually felt good about myself and it showed! I had a spring in my step and a permanent smile on my face! I have been a bit grumpy the last few days but that is due to totm being due soon so I forgive myself.

    I am so looking forward to no longer being the "fat" friend, the "fat" sister, the "fat" daughter, the "fat" mum or the "fat" teacher!!!!! My little one tells me how proud of me she is everyday and that means the world to me!

    I also can't wait to go on holiday again (not that we can afford one or have even booked one yet!) so I can sit in the seat and go the seatbelt up without having to loosen it to the max and breathe in before doing it up under my fat stomach! I had to do that this year the day before I started LT!!!!!

    LT has enpowered me!!!

    x
     
  14. BlackRose

    BlackRose Gold Member

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    I have to disagree -Lt i just the vehicle, you have empowered yourself (oh GOd -have I watched Oprah too many times? lol) What I mean is, if you didn't want to, if you weren't strong enough or willing enough LT would be useless to you. It is YOU who is making these positive changes in your life.

    But I'm totally in the same boat -I HATE HATE HATE being the 'fat friend' or the 'bubbly chubby one'. Cue Diana Ross..."I'M COMIN OUT..." ;) ;)


    I cant wait for all our 'after' pictures I tell ya -cant wait. You have done so amazingly well CF -you are an inspiration, truly. :D
     
  15. Snowie

    Snowie Full Member

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    True inspiration xxx
     
  16. BlackRose

    BlackRose Gold Member

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    :cry::cry::cry:

    i cant believe how supportive and encouraging ppl here are. To think I've always been cynical about these kinds of sites...shows how wrong ya can be.
     
  17. daisy2002

    daisy2002 Member

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    Wow you are me :giggle:

    I have those problems too. People don't understand the social phobia thing though.
    Its not easy to just 'go out', have to plan things, go as early as possible so i don't see too many people etc.

    I had planned to start college in September, paid for it & everything. I didn't go :cry:

    It was a mix of being so fat & my anxiety, social phobia, fear etc.
    I feel that i let not just myself but my husband & my kids down but not going.
    I just got a letter on friday to do CBT so i hope that might help me somehow. Just got to call up & make an appointment..... thats hard in itself as i hate & i mean hate talking on the phone. I work myself up into such a state before i use the phone.... weird i know.
     
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  19. tara66

    tara66 Silver Member

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    Hi daisy, your weight loss won't 'cure' you but I do think it will help because you just feel so good to have achieved something for yourself, it does help with confidence.

    I hope you do manage to phone up for your CBT appointment but it can be very hard to do something like that. Please don't beat yourself up thinking you have let people down. Social phobia, anxiety and depression are illnesses just as much as physical conditions are, you aren't letting anybody down.

    Your losses are amazing, 5 stone down is fantastic and shows you what you can do. Baby steps work with LT and it will work for other things too, you just can't expect to do everything at once, give yourself a break. College and lots of other great things are still waiting for you, there isn't a rush and you will do it, but it will take patience and being easy not hard on yourself x
     
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