Diary of a desperate girl...

Saruk88

Silver Member
Hiya all,


Thanks for popping past my thread. I just posted this exact same one on introductions, but then I saw this weight loss diary forum ... And that's exactly what I need!


I'm a 25 year old female and have well and truly lost it with myself. Without being all dreary and dramatic, I've just lost all enthusiasm for really living and I know that it's down to my weight. I'm 25 and yet I feel 80! I have no energy, I'm tired most of the time and all the things that I used to love, like going out clubbing with my friends, parties, shopping and going to the theatre etc are such a strain now ... I get so put off because I never know what to wear, wearing heels just cripples me, I don't feel comfortable physically or mentally and the thought of trying to find a new outfit just fills me with fear (okay, I know that was a little dramatic).


I joined the gym recently and when I've gone, I've really loved it. I had just been going swimming but this week I went to the actual gym, went on the cross trainer, did some weights and finished with swimming ... And I honestly really loved it. For the first time in my life I really felt that burn in my muscles that people talk about and it was great! Hurt like hell, but great. So, tonight I had plans to go back and really enjoy it. And did I go? No. Sure, I'm going away tomorrow, I hadn't finishing packing, I needed to sort everything out this evening as we're leaving at 8.15am, but if I really tried, I could have squeezed it all in. Instead, I had some left over Chinese takeaway and a chocolate bar ... What the hell?!


So now, I'm all angry and annoyed at myself and decided I'd join a forum to try and get inspiration and encouragement. Apparently I can't trust myself! I've had a bit of a pamper session as in my head that'll help me get started and I'm going to create a to-do list so that when I come back from my weekend I can organise my life ... Organised life, organised mind, organised body...


I know this is the point where I say what I weigh ... But I don't know. I've just turned the flat upside down wondering how on earth I could lose a set of scales and it turns out my boyfriend took them to work with him. I've asked him to bring them back next week, but in the meantime, I think I weigh about 15st7. This is just an estimate, I don't tend to weigh myself often, so it could be worse :-/ I'm about a size 18 and I have a lot to lose.


So, that's me ... Kudos if you stuck to the end of that rant! I'm not following a diet as such, I'm going to try and do it by healthy eating and plenty of exercise. This week I'm going to be as well behaved as going away with friends to a food and drink festival allows, and if I can't check in at the weekend, I will when I get back on Monday.


Hope everyone has a successful and lovely weekend,


Saruk
 
Have a great weekend. Don't be too hard on yourself if you are not as 'good' as you hoped to be. I also have a lot to lose and I am doing quite well I think. I've achieved what I have so far by being realistic. I know I can't diet for a solid year so I don't try to. I have planned periods off-plan when I eat and drink what I want. I know I will gain weight during these times but will maintain my sanity over the long haul. These off-days can be one day or longer. I have just returned from my longest - nearly 5 weeks. I put on 8.4 lb. I know that 5 lb of that is probably water weight so that's about 3.5 lb of fat. In a couple of weeks that will have gone and I will be back on track. Every month I have at least a weekend off. So far I have lost over 3 stone - yay me!!! I guess what I am trying to say is follow whatever plan suits you and keep going but allow yourself some fun too. Hope to hear from you when you come back after your weekend.
 
Hi Saruk,

Wow I never expected to meet someone who is in such a similar circumstance to me!! Same sort of age and starting weight also with a goal of 9 stone! I started at 15st12. I've now lost 2 stone in 3 and a half weeks. I'm going at it full force (apart from perhaps the exercise that has been somewhat lacking of late).

I also completely agree re the whole organised life thing. It's like you make one small change and everything else follows.

I look forward to seeing your progress!!

x
 
Iris Star - thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it. :) best of luck on your journey too!


lass321 - thanks for your message! 3 stone, that's amazing, well done you! Looks like your plan is really working for you and don't worry, I'll allow myself a couple of lapses! I was just so annoyed at myself on Friday, haha. Best of luck with your continued success!


doublegirl- hi! Great to meet someone in the same boat as me :) 2 stone in 3 and a half weeks though! That's crazy weightloss! How have you done it? Really well done, you must be feeling on top of the world! Yes, I definitely feel so much more in control when things around me are organised. I'm messy by nature but as soon as things get just a little too messy then I blitz everything and feel so much better for it! Hope you had a brill weekend.


---


So, I am back from my weekend away and I had a fab old time. A very tiring and busy few days but they were great.


On a relatively plus side too, I wasn't too naughty ... Sure, if I had been at home I could have been a lot better but seeing as I was away with my fella and our best mates at a food and drink festival, I could have done a lot worse and therefore feel pretty good going into this week. I stuck to my meals without snacking except for an ice cream yesterday, but we never got round to lunch so it was just a nice treat in the lovely sunshine. At meals, I had what I wanted from the menu but as soon as I got to that 'comfortably full' stage, I stopped eating and due to a shrunken stomach from a nasty bout of tonsillitis and ear infections that meant I consumed a lot less than I could have done a few weeks ago. Also, I didn't have too much booze :)


I also did a lot of walking/hiking. From endless steps (seriously, sooo many steps) to clambering up and down gorges, I well and truly got my heart pumping. So much so, my calf muscles today are CANING. Every step I take I feel like my muscles are being rolled over by a train ... But that's what I get for bring too frickin' overweight, ay! ;-) this does mean that I haven't gone to the gym yet ... But I am about to have a very long, hot bath to relax my muscles and then later I'll go on the exercise bike we have and hope that my calf muscles don't cry out too much. If they do, I'll stop as I want to get into the gym ASAP, but hopefully it'll be okay as it's mainly my thigh muscles that get a workout when using the bike.


So, all in all, I don't feel too terrible about the weekend. I really want the scales back so that I can really get stuck into things ... I know not having them is not stopping me from doing my utmost, but I just feel they'd really help me get into the swing of things.


Just on another note ... At work I used to, without fail, have a can of diet coke every afternoon. The office would get so hot and the can would come out the vending machine ice cold, and it was just lovely. But when I fell ill I got signed off work for nearly a week and didn't have any during those days. Then, when I got back to work, I never even thought about having one. In the two weeks that I've been back there, I've only bought a can twice, and the second time I was like 'I'm not even enjoying this' (and that's a big thing cos I LOVED them). I know that they're calorie free but I also know that there's something very unhealthy about them, but I'm not sure what it is. If anyone does know, could you share your knowledge?! I read in someone else's very inspiring thread that diet coke results in a slower metabolism ... Is this the case? I basically want enough info so that I can stay weened off of it, as only a month ago I would have easily rather given up chocolate than diet coke.


I hope everyone had a lovely weekend and enjoyed the sun (if you got any)!


Saruk
 
Yay for a fantastic weekend!!!! I think it might be the caffeine in diet coke that's the problem for health. It constricts the blood flow to the brain. I'm not sure though why it would affect weightloss. I might look into that. Anyway - great that you had all that exercise - if you can keep that going your weight is sure to drop off :)
 
Lass321 - Oh, okay! Thank you :) I'll do a little research too and report back if I find out anything! Thank you - let's hope so! I really need it to now. Looks like you have some great goals in your signature and you have already achieved so many! It's such a good idea to think of things that mean a lot to you and work from there. Great thinking!

--

So, I still don't have the scales as Mike forgot to bring them back ...despite reminders! But I've had a pretty good day, didn't eat too badly, had plenty of water and just got back from the gym - knackered! On the other hand, had a rubbish day at work and have found out I have 8 (now 7) working days to complete 30 days worth of work - nightmare. There go my evenings ... Never mind, I took it out on the rowing machine :)

Hope everyone has had a great day ... I don't feel there's much to say until I can just get those bloody scales!

Have a great evening folks.

Saruk
 
Urgh, he forgot the scales again! I've decided I'm going to go out and buy one either later this evening or tomorrow morning and then I'll report back. I think I'll make Friday mornings my weigh ins. Then, if I've lost, I hope it'll spur me on to lose more or if I've gained it'll make me work hard over the weekend ... And not give in to naughty weekend treats like alcohol and takeaways.

Ive been thinking about what goals I want to make ... I need to come up with a clear, achievable plan.

i'm thinking points of interest could be Mike's birthday mid-October, Christmas, valentine's day/our anniversary, my birthday in may and then September 2014 ... When I want to be at my goal weight (although that depends on how heavy I am now!) I thought I could reward myself with new outfits or something I've wanted for a long time ... I'll have to have a think. And I think I'd like to mix it up - not only would I have some goals of actual pounds lost, I might have some to do with my BMI or how long I can go on a certain machine at the gym ... Also, the gym I'm at does this 'health MOT' thing where they measure your BMI, body fat percentage, blood pressure,heart rate, emotional well being and loads of other stuff ... And then they give you an overall score out of 1000 and you work to improve it. I actually chickened out of having it done but now I'm serious about losing weight I might just bite the bullet and do it and then I can incorporate that into my goals.

I'll have to have a think!
 
It's a good idea to set small achievable goals. I try not to set goals which give me a time limit - so I try not to say for example I will have lost xlb by my birthday, because that sets you up to fail. I do set weight goals but without time limits because that shows belief that I will get there at some point in the, hopefully, not too distant future.
 
Yeah, that's a really good point actually. I might do the same, just try and lose as much as I can by then :)

I know 2 that I definitely want to do - firstly, get into the overweight category rather than obese (how upsetting!) and then, at the last hurdle, to get into the normal category ... Ahh, to be normal ay! What luxury.

To get into the overweight category I need to weigh 174lbs and the normal category I'll have to weigh 149lbs ... It'll be a long old road but I know it's doable! :)
 
Good plan :) I know it seems a long road at the start, but I am about half way there now and looking back it doesn't seem so long. I have to admit losing the other half does seem a VERY big task though. Because I'm short I have to weigh under 153 to be merely overweight and I think about 136 to be 'normal. I was overweight before the holidays and over the last 6 weeks have crept back up into obese, so now I have about 3 lb to lose to get back there. I had a look at the amount of calories I will need at goal to simply maintain - and it's scarily small, but I WILL get there and I will maintain - and so will you :)
 
Best of luck lass - 3lbs to get into overweight category - you can do it easy! You have no idea how lucky you are being halfway through :) it's a great position to be in. Well done!
 
So, I bought the scales and it's pretty terrifying ... 15 stone11!! I have never been anywhere near that weight before. But, here I am and I'm just more determined to do it. I'm going to try and stick to weekly weigh ins which will be Friday mornings ... So I'll weigh in again next week. I'm not expecting big things this week as I've got my friend's hen do for the three days over the weekend, but if I can drop a pound or two or even be the same, ill be happy.

I'm quite excited to do this now ... The high number on the scales has made me more determined. It means I've got a BMI of 37.9 :cry:horrifying. I've got a lot of work to do and can't wait to get properly started.

I'm going to give goals a proper think now I've got my real weight and report back.

Hope everyone's having a good Thursday.
 
Goals:


Lose half a stone
Lose a stone
Get into 100s (pounds) - lose 22lb
Get into 13s - back where I was last time checked scales
Get into 12s
Get into 'overweight' BMI category - lose 48lb (12st5lb)
Get into size 14 dress
Get into 'normal' category - lose 73lb (10st8lb)
Get into single stones (under 10st)
Get into size 12 dress
Get to goal weight - lose 98lb (8st12lb)




My final and most important goal - feel healthy, happy in myself and lethargy will be a thing of the past!


Here's to the most important adventure of my future!
 
Goals = MADE! Want to put them in my signature but I don't have enough characters yet sadly. I'm excited to get started though!
 
How do I get one of those tickers?
 
LilySlim - Create LilySlim tickers you can make them here. Once you make it you can copy and paste the code into your signature. Not sure if you need to wait until 50 posts though. There are other ticker sites - but this is the one I use. We are not supposed to post links to external sites in Minimins, but I think this will be OK as it is not a chat site. If I got that wrong sorry moderators :).
 
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