Diary of a secret eater

[Bananadrama]

Brief introduction of myself here! I've been on and off this forum for the past few years and love it. It always helps me when I need it, it's a lifesaver! I lost 4st on Exante in 2011, fell pregnant and now weigh exactly what I did when I first started. Don't get me wrong, it was my fault I gained the weight, the fact I was on a VLCD had nothing to do with it. So I'm here again now, on Exante (again) but this time around, I'm going to be totally honest with myself and everyone else so I'm going to start by writing down how I found myself here again.

After I had my 2nd child, I suffered with mild post-natal depression and gained weight literally day by day. I was in such a low place and I just couldn't bring myself back up, no matter what I did. I tried going back to exante, ww, calorie counting, everything. Nothing would work because I wasn't in the right place and I didn't understand why I wasn't in control. Now I do.

I was watching 'Obese: a year to save my life' (as all of us fat people do!) and this particular lady was talking to the American trainer who said to her "you have an illness, what you do, nipping out in the car, stuffing your face, then going home, is secret eating and it's an illness that you have to learn to deal with otherwise it will be with you for the rest of your life." At this point, I burst into tears! That's exactly what I do and nobody knows! I didn't even realise myself until I heard those words! I will make an excuse to go to the supermarket and buy cream cakes, crisps, pasties, chocolates and scoff the lot in the car in a matter of minutes, then go home with the loaf of bread I went for like nothing had happened.

Anyway, (sorry, this is getting a bit heavy but I need to do it for myself to be able to read back over)! My journey this time around isn't just about weight loss as quickly as possible, it's about learning new habits and recreating my relationship with food. I'm using Exante because I feel I need to take food totally out of the equation for a while and learn to understand it again. I'm really in this to change for good, for my kids, my husband but most of all for me. This is a battle I've been losing for years and I'm finally ready to turn it around.

So sorry that's been a bore, it'll be much lighter reading from now on...promise! I just had to get that off my chest and believe me, although it's only over a laptop, it was really hard to write it down.

Any words of wisdom or messages of support would be greatly welcomed!

Thanks for reading, if there's anyone left! lol xx

 

[Jasper666]

Hi Banana

I'm new to this forum and considering Exante as like you, I need to take food out of the equation and learn to treat food as fuel and of course enjoyment too, rather than for any other reason or mindlessly eat when I shouldn't. The fact you are here speaks volumes about your goals and intentions so all I can do at this stage is wish you well. You clearly can do this and even though you are back here, you have obviously learned something from past times.

 

[Bananadrama]

Thankyou Jasper, I know this time I will do it because I've realised where my problem lies. Once I get into the swing of Exante, I find it so uplifting it makes it easy to carry on. I think if you need to re-educate, a TFR is definitely the way to go. I wish you the best of luck in your journey too and thanks for posting

 

[carrieclaus]

Welcome back.. I'm still trying... But the secret is to not give up. Xxx

 

[Bananadrama]

Thanks Carrie I'd already been to have a look at how you were doing. And very well by the looks of it. You're absolutely right, I'm not giving up this time, it's my final fight! xxx

 

[carrieclaus]

Thanks, been hovering a bit too long now so no more carbs till at least 10st 4lbs as that's me in healthy bmi... Xxx

 

[Bananadrama]

Are you doing exante again now to shift the last bit? x

 

[carrieclaus]

Yep exante all the way xxx

 

[Little Plum Duff]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me popping in! I have been doing Cambridge but just had my first Exante day today and will probably be doing a combination until I get rid of all of the Cambridge Food and am happy I'm getting the same results.

I just wanted to say that your first post wasn't boring, it was touching! I think there is so much pain, angst and self-loathing tied up in my over eating and I don't even know it (if that makes sense!). Why we do it to ourselves is just plain crazy, but we do. I wish you all the luck on your journey to the new, brighter, happier, fitter, healthier you!

 

[perfectxmess]

hi banana, good luck on your exante journey.
looks like i'm about the same height and weight as you with the same goal nice to see someone similar so i'll definitely be keeping up with your diary.

and i totally get the secret eating thing - i'm definitely one of those. hit a new low a few weeks ago when i told my bf i was going to the post office but actually went to boots, bought 2 meal deals and then sat in my car at the end of the road and inhaled the lot! why do we do it to ourselves?!

anyway onwards and downwards, and there's loads of us here for support :grouphugg:

 

[mels72]

Hi Banana,

I loved your post as it feels as though I am reading my own thoughts. You are not on your own and trying exante definately gives you that break with food needed to get a bit of perspective.

My problem is I am not only an emotional eater but I am an emotional baker too. I have bread machines and muffins on the go all the time. They have all stopped now and the break is helping..

One way I think we could all help each other would be on that re-education to make sure when we have completed this journey we stay the georgous sexy people we all are.

Good luck with the journey

Mels xxx

Start weight - 16 stone 12 :cry:
Week 1 - 16 stone - lost 12lbs :clap:
Week 2 - 15 stone 9lbs - lost 5lbs (17lbs total):happy036:
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9
Week 10
Week 11
Week 12