Dilemma.....

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by sparky32, 11 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. sparky32

    sparky32 Member

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    Whilst eating my LL soup this evening, my nine year old daughter piped up that at tomorrows meeting I should buy her some packs as she needs to loose some weight as she is a few pounds heavier than her best friends :eek: Well I was totally gobsmacked, it was like a smack in the teeth.
    Is being on LL promoting a healthy image to my nine year old daughter, am I sending out all the wrong messages? Gosh I just don't know what to do about it, should I return to eating a well balanced diet keeping in mind the CBT i have learned thus far?
    I had a wee chat to her later about body image and why I was trying to loose some weight and her answer was "why dont you have healthy meals every night and I have can have them too". I'm starting to think she's right. The one thing I'm worried most for my daughter is that she develops an eating disorder (being a Youth Worker, I've seen what can happen) and I have always promoted a healthy self-esteem and image. I'm on LL to loose weight to help with our fertility. I feel I have good self-esteem and sometimes I have a healthy body image.

    I'm so confused???:sigh:
     
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  3. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    This subject (and similar ones) have been brought up on here before, albeit the child involved was a bit younger than your daughter.

    I've no doubt it's a very difficult thing, but one thing to remember re: the healthy meals is, if you could do that you wouldn't need LL in the first place, it's as much about getting your head/habits right as it is about losing the weight too.

    Perhaps try and explain to your daughter that you can make her healthy meals, and you can eat your LL packs with her while she has them, but that mummy needs the "special food" to help her?
     
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  4. Sulleyp

    Sulleyp The Minis Bad Boy

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    It could be a good way of educating her now at 9 years old and showing her where you went wrong and that eating healthy meals is good for her at the moment, and you will join her soon enough. But for now you are to be doing the packs.

    Try to use her as an exmaple of the right mindset. Not that she wants to diet. But that she concious of what she eats. Try and be positive about it.
     
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  5. sparky32

    sparky32 Member

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    Thanks for getting back to me. I had another great chat with my daughter today and did as you both adviced. I was worried that when I started to celebrate my weight loss the mental image I was potraying to her was the opposite of what I wanted.
    She has asked a lot of questions over the past 24 hours about dieting and being overweight, the positive side is that not only am I educating my daughter I am also re-educating myself. It was certainly a huge wake up call in so many ways.
    I spoke with my LLC today and she was great, just like you guys. To be honest I don't think I would have continued on the programme if it wasn't for your and her words. So I thank you both. I know it was a tough dilemma to put up and many people wouldn't have known what to say.....I certainly didn't know what to say when my daughter uttered those words :)
     
  6. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    hi there
    i wrote a long reply to you earlier - then someone came round and i turned off the laptop before posting it! grrrr

    i have 2 daughters, 5 and 13 and a son, 12 and was concerned about how they would react. the littlest didn't notice and the older two did, but only after about 8 weeks.

    i told them what i was doing and why and that its not the 'best' way to lose weight but it was what i needed.
    i stressed the health reasons for losing weight rather than the vanity reasons and we talked about healthy eating and how/why i had put on weight - for me its been gradual, not binging but just eating too much over many years for my size and increasing slowly year by year.

    they were fine about it and actually are moaning now i'm eating again as they are back on healthy eating too - no more goodies in the house as there were while i was abstinient, still can't trust myself!

    anyway, glad you have chatted with her

    daisy x
     
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  7. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    I have three daughters under 9. I was concerned abou the influence on them from the outset and took the decision to tell them what I was doing before I started and why - to be healthy and be able to join in their activities.

    I stress that I can eat anything I want but that I am choosing the soups and shakes for now until I am healthy. They have all tasted the packs out of interest but none have suggested they shoud diet too.

    We talk a lot about the food they eat and I offer them some choices so they understand which is the healthy choice.

    It is a difficult one, but its good to talk.
     
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  8. Sulleyp

    Sulleyp The Minis Bad Boy

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    See I dont have any daughters though I would love to have a daughter one day. My only concern is I likes strange names for girls like Clementine and I am worried she will hate me forever.

    Though from an outsiders point of view I think it's a healthy thing your daughter is asking all these questions now while she is impressionable.

    That way you can sit ehr down and tell her the straight facts rather than if she had kept it all in her head and got misconceptions about it.
     
  9. fluffycat09

    fluffycat09 Full Member

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    When I did CD 2 years ago my kids didn't notice, this time they have.
    I am having a dreadful time with them, they don't know why I have shakes, they haven't been told I am on a diet or that I am trying to lose weight. They haven't commented on my weight loss (before when I lost it, or that I put it back on, or now that I've lost 4 st again). I do worry about it as they do mention that I don't eat and drink alot, and they mention it every day. I tell them I eat in the evenings when they go to bed. They are always offerening me food. (They are 5 and 8).
    Any way, I've only got less than 6 weeks left now until we go on holiday and then I will be switching to WW to lose the last 3-4 stone, I'm a size 16 again so 'normal' in todays world.... I now need to set a good example with my kids, I've tried not to mention diet, or eat healthy to lose weight.
    I always try to explain eating 'healthy food' is for there health, not there looks. I have never sat eating choccy and cake makes you fat and eating fruit etc keep you slim. It is always healthy and fit, not unfit and a slow runner, some how they relate fit to running fast..
    Any way I don't suppose my little to penny worth helps much.
    You have to do what is right, and a fitter you leads to a fitter Mummy who is happier, happy Mummy happy kids.
    But if you do worry, really take it in stock, don't make a big deal of it, brush it under the carpet and without them being told if you feel the need switch to another diet.
    This is a great forum and I am sure you would be most welcome any where on it.
     
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