Diversity - of diet, sexuality and opinion

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Dub07, 4 October 2007 Social URL.

  1. Dub07

    Dub07 Full Member

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    :confused:

    We have people of both genders, of many diverse races, from different continets, of differing sexual preferences and of many different diets here on minimins. It's a superb site and a terrific support to dieters.

    I wonder though - are differing opinions on dieting tolerated or is it only a "poor you, you slipped" rationale or "oh how well you're doing!!!"? That works for some folks, but others truly need the old pointy toe in the bum. Is that allowed here, or not? :wave_cry::wave_cry::wave_cry::eek::sigh::cry::confused:
     
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  3. Tazzi

    Tazzi is Special :P

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    You are welcome to give me a kick if i slip.......but i will punish myself much more lol. I am NOT GOING TO CHEAT! I think within reason tell people like it is......some people on this site do and i appreciate their honesty but obviously its difficult as with texts and emails.....you cant judge the other person reaction.
    Taz x
     
  4. Dub07

    Dub07 Full Member

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    Thanks petal x
    A very good point. Things frequently get overemphasised or overdramatised in translation. :(
     
  5. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    'Only' a poor you rationale? Personally, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with offering some tea and sympathy; some people don't respond to a pointy toe up the posterior.

    Everyone is different I suppose. The good thing about Mini's is that we tend to get to know people and can soon work out who is fragile and needs sympathy and who prefers a swift boot - they're both equally valid responses to someone who has slipped, depending on their needs. :)
     
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  6. Dub07

    Dub07 Full Member

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    "only" meaning was wrong on my part.

    I simply meant that it is not the sole answer when faced with a problem. Some people respond positively to a hug, others curl up and purr and refuse to fend for themselves when they get a sympathetic response. Lots of folk, macho-men in particular perform better when challenged.

    BTW: When I'm feeling rubbish (like now, on antibiotics etc), if anyone's really nice to me, I simply dissolve into abject sobs. If they're matter-of-fact, I respond much better and can continue with things till I'm in a better place and time to examine my feelings and emotions.
     
  7. Tazzi

    Tazzi is Special :P

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    Awww hun i didnt know you were unwell. I felt awful today as well. I have hurt my back and its making me feel nauseous. Ewww. But im hoping i just slept wierd the last few nights.

    I had an awful day last Friday and i am like you if i just pretend its ok it is.....until someone is nice and sympathetic and trys to give me a hug at work and then i just burst out. Lol A good end to the week.

    Taz x
     
  8. Dub07

    Dub07 Full Member

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    bleh..........:p quit with the hugs. I'll live

    ~blubs~




    (edits to add: My mother would slap me for being so rude. Thank you. that was very, very kind. I really appreciate it. You're a sweet soul for taking the time to be nice to such a prickly hedgehog as I feel right now, Taz, so ((hugs)) )
     
    Last edited: 4 October 2007
  9. Tazzi

    Tazzi is Special :P

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    Haha...................... i was being all anti-hugs lol.

    They make me cry LOL

    Taz x
     
  10. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    It's an interesting point Dub.

    The thing is that this idea has been raised before - that some people operate better with 'Tough Love' than with 'tea and sympathy'. Generally speaking, I have found that the people on Minimins who post about falling are so busy beating themselves up that they don't actually need any assistance with that side of things.

    More than anything, I think the people who respond saying 'don't worry about it, put it behind you' are trying to get across the fact that it doesn't have to be the end of the world if you trip off your plan.

    And as you say, the written word can be so hard to decipher - what can be meant as a kind of 'buck up and get on with it' can hit a fragile person on the raw, and send them into a spiral.

    What I love about Minimins is the positive spirit of so many people - embracing each other in this struggle we all share.

    I too am one of those people that can handle pretty much anything until someone is nice to me - then I crumble :eek::eek: which is dreadfully embarrassing!!

    I guess I just wanted to agree with RD. As you get to know the people on here, you realise who operates best with a nudge, and who with a kick. As long as it causes no harm and/or offence, then there is no 'rule' about how you support your fellow Minimisers :)
     
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  11. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    I think the tea ans sympathy bit is great, but I also find plenty of practical advice that has stopped me in my tracks.

    I think the best advice seen, quite frequently on here, is 'don't give up, draw a line under it and get back to plan'. That is what i need, I love a bit of love and sympathy, but i need reminding that a slip only turns into a disaster if I let it.

    Karion is great for coming up with stategies, she really helps me think about why I want to eat and when. She recently got me trying the 'delay' tactic which is a real good one; basically if I want say a biscuit(my particular problem!) then I must wait, set a time for it and IF I still want it have it then. Often I find I forget about it! Neat trick huh?

    I love this site, it is so many things to so many different people. Interesting thread - like it!
     
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  12. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Cool:cool: That's one of my favourites, even if I do end up eating it, it doesn't matter (for me anyway), it takes the urgency out of it. The bit that makes you go from 'want' to 'eat now'.

    Keep doing that and you do find that 'want' turns into 'I'm really looking forward to.....' It puts the control back without making you feel deprived :)

    Sorry, gone off topic here :D
     
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  13. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    I think I tend to gauge my response on what the person has said and how bad their slip up is. If its just a one off slip up I would tend to go with the 'soft approach' as someone rightly said if someone has slipped up theyre probably beating themselves up enough and dont really need us to tell them they did the wrong thing. Theyll already realise that. For instance if I slipped up one week and didnt stick to my diet I think Id be quite offended if people came down hard on me considering the next time I slip up will be the first time :)

    Someone who constantly slips up or says they cant do the diet theyre on, I generally try and offer some advice or suggestions. A lot of people start maybe a VLCD and realise its not for them, theres no shame in that, and sometimes making them think that they have other options is better than giving them a kick in the butt to gee themselves up.

    I think the important thing is the SUPPORT element thats what this site is about, its to support each other during our journeys, and maybe more often that does involve a hug & a cup of tea. The 'real' world is harsh enough on us dieters.
     
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