Does it ever get any easier?

Poppybibby

Full Member
I followed WW successfully for about 18 months before switching to SW which I find to be a much more realistic long term weight loss plan. I know I can follow the plan so why is it so goddam hard?! After nearly 2 years I still can't get my head out of the bingeing mindset and find it a constant struggle every day not to eat food that will lead me off plan. I will often stand in the supermarket for ages just holding a large bar of chocolate or a box of Jaffa cakes and the 2 sides of my brain will fight it out - stay on plan vs go off plan. Sometimes I put it back down on the shelf and get some fruit instead but sometimes I will eat whatever junk it is I fancy and feel terrible after I've finished it.

Has anyone on here been in this position and managed to teach their brain to get out of the binging/junk food eating mindset? I'd love to know that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel and that one day I will automatically go for the healthy choice rather than have an ongoing battle :-/
 
First, thank you for posting this. You've put into words something that I have been ignoring for so long although I knew it's a problem. I can spend twenty minutes by asda pizza counter, annoying the staff as I struggle to walk away.

I don't know if it gets easier. I am seeing a psychotherapist who thinks that my binge behaviours will cease when I face my sadness, but I am still tempted to see a cbt councillor for techniques to deal with it while it's here.

I also remember my SW consultant saying that some people never stop having to fight and manage their food in this way. Being at target would help, I suppose- although I'm a long way from that!

Sometimes I think of myself as an addict. Do you?
 
Oh I'm so glad I'm not alone! I definitely do think it's an addiction but unlike things like drugs, cigarettes and alcohol etc you can't go cold turkey with food and it's everywhere you go and everywhere you look - tv, magazines, billboards, shops, even the tills at hobbycraft have chocolate standard on them. I went into hobbycraft last weekend to buy some sewing bits and bobs to keep my hands busy and stop me from snacking while i was at home all weekend and there it was again..would I like some giant chocolate buttons with my haberdashery? I'm pleased to say I resisted on that occasion but it just goes to show that food is literally everywhere.

That's useful to know what your psychotherapist has said..and perhaps cbt will help you in the interim. I hope they help you to overcome it once and for all! I don't really know where my problem with food came about..Looking back I've definitely been a secret eater since I was in early secondary school so maybe I need to think back to why it may have started and deal with it that way.

I spoke to my consultant about this last week actually as it's been bothering me for a while now and as great as my consultant is, all she could say was she sympathises but some people have an addictive personality and there is no magic cute and she made it sound like it would be an ongoing battle. I was hoping someone on here may have a success story to share to give me hope! Let's keep our fingers crossed lol.
 
Yes- if theres's a way to rewire I'll take it! (Although I 'm not keen on medicating for this...)

You are absolutely right about it being so difficult because our environment is swamped with bad things! Did you watch The Men Who Made Us Thin? A scientist used a really interesting word... 'Obesogenic'. We live in an environment that causes obesity! I think about this word when I'm in Asda and Oreo cookies are reduced to 50p so they line the ends of the aisles with them.
 
No I didn't watch it, but that's a really good word to describe it! :)
 
To be honest, no, I don't think it ever ends. If you have that relationship with food, which I do, it's going to be a matter of lifelong management rather than cure, although formal psychological counselling may help - I haven't tried it myself. I've been losing weight for over two years now, have lost 9 stone and completely changed my diet. But I still have to constantly fight the urge to overeat and am always thinking about food. The way I personally deal with it is by building planned overeating days into my regular eating routine, so that I'm very controlled for the majority of the time but let myself off the lead on these planned occasions. I can honestly say that by doing that I've never had an unplanned binge in that two year period. But do I believe I'm "cured" or ever will be? No, absolutely not.

There are a lot of self-help books out there that deal with this, if you're so inclined. The latest one I got is called Beyond Temptation - I forget the authors' names but they're sisters. These books do at least show you that a great many people share these same problems, we're by no means alone!

All the best. :) xx
 
Wow, 9 stone is a fantastic loss! I have nearly 4 stone left to lose and that seems like a massive mountain to climb so well done you :)
That's an interesting way of coping with it and something I had never thought of. When I binge it's like a game for me - how much rubbish food can I eat in one day?! And then once I've finished I immediately feel the guilt. But if I were to plan it into my diet then I suppose that could very well work..if I were to set a maximum limit of how much I can binge on in the day then I will hopefully still be in control of it. I'd love to read up on it so il definitely look into that book you mention, if only so I know I'm not alone feeling like this.

Thank you for your advice :)
 
Poppybibby said:
Wow, 9 stone is a fantastic loss! I have nearly 4 stone left to lose and that seems like a massive mountain to climb so well done you :)
That's an interesting way of coping with it and something I had never thought of. When I binge it's like a game for me - how much rubbish food can I eat in one day?! And then once I've finished I immediately feel the guilt. But if I were to plan it into my diet then I suppose that could very well work..if I were to set a maximum limit of how much I can binge on in the day then I will hopefully still be in control of it. I'd love to read up on it so il definitely look into that book you mention, if only so I know I'm not alone feeling like this.

Thank you for your advice :)

Thank you! It does seem like an uphill climb when you start out, I know, but it's well worth persevering. :) You are most definitely not alone! I used to think I must be the greediest, most out of control eater in the world, but reading people's stories on here and in various books, I now realise that's far from being the case, which is reassuring at least.

The last time I had a planned binge was in the August bank holiday week, as I was off work, and I actually set myself a calorie "budget" (I'm a sad accountant, lol), that would let me eat what I wanted but not see me gain more than a few pounds. So whilst I ate all the lovely things I don't normally have, like pizza, Ben and Jerry's, chocolate, cake etc. - I still counted all my calories and so felt in control. I know this wouldn't work for everyone - it all hinges on being able to get back on track afterwards - but it's an approach that's really helping me given that I think I'm an incurable food addict!! :) xx
 
before I started my first diet I always thought it is something temporary - I will lose my weight to the level I`m happy with and the I`ll go back to my old eating habits, somehow not gaining kg again. Now of course I know better but most of my friends and family keeps asking me how long am I going to follow a diet. Maybe our brains act like those people and some part of everyone of us still looks forward to the time we "could" eat everything we wanted? I don`t know how about yours, but my diet allows me to eat 3 out of diet thing during the weekend (not from the beginning). It can be pasta for dinner, few beers with friend in the Saturday evening and something sweet, for example. With this on my mind it`s pretty easy for me to behave during the rest of the week.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could get to goal and suddenly eat whatever we wanted without gaining :) *dreaming* lol. My diet is quite flexible and I can have a small amount of naughty food every day (normally chocolate!) but it doesn't stop my urge to binge. I suppose I just need to accept that il have to follow a diet for life, even if I one day manage to get to goal!
 
Thank you! It does seem like an uphill climb when you start out, I know, but it's well worth persevering. :) You are most definitely not alone! I used to think I must be the greediest, most out of control eater in the world, but reading people's stories on here and in various books, I now realise that's far from being the case, which is reassuring at least. The last time I had a planned binge was in the August bank holiday week, as I was off work, and I actually set myself a calorie "budget" (I'm a sad accountant, lol), that would let me eat what I wanted but not see me gain more than a few pounds. So whilst I ate all the lovely things I don't normally have, like pizza, Ben and Jerry's, chocolate, cake etc. - I still counted all my calories and so felt in control. I know this wouldn't work for everyone - it all hinges on being able to get back on track afterwards - but it's an approach that's really helping me given that I think I'm an incurable food addict!! :) xx

Reading people's success stories on here does help me a lot..I spend ages browsing through those pages. Right, I've decided on one binge a month with a maximum calorie limit and hopefully that will keep me on the right track and in control without going off the rails!

By the way, thank you for recommending that book. I downloaded the ebook onto my phone and haven't been able to stop reading. I can relate to so much of it! And it's spurred me onto addressing where it all started etc. At the moment I'm just kind of making sporadic notes about specific times of overreating that I remember going as far back as my childhood, certain foods that I always head towards on binges; and my current behaviours (such as deliberately drinking too much red bull after a binge so that it has a laxative effect)...sorry too much information lol. But it never crossed my mind that this was not normal behavior until I read the first few chapters of the book and truly thought about my habits. It's obviously very early days but I think the authors are right...by looking into the reasons for overreating rather than brushing it under the carpet I may well be able to combat the problem over the coming months. Feeling positive now :-D
 
I'm glad you're finding the book interesting - I think most types of overeater will recognise themselves in one or more of the example women they use, I know I do! :) xx
 
I feel exactly the same, I have lost 2 stone so far, 9 stone to go but struggle with cravings so much, I am sat here at 1am crying because I'm sure these r going to overwhelm me and I'm going to screw everything up again :-( I've never lost this much weight before and I would be so angry with myself if i put it back on :-(((
 
You've done massively well so far Bex. It is definitely overwhelming but I actually can't recommend the Beyond Temptation book enough that Tracy recommended to me. I started reading it about 2 days ago and already I am beginning to change the way I think about food. I have got myself a notebook and whenever I think about food and binging I make a note in the book when, where and what I want to eat and I am hoping that eventually I will see some patterns and overcome it that way. I am also making notes about times in the past when I have overreaten and places I tend to overreat to try and come up with a tactic for dealing with it. My colleagues think I am crazy by the way as every so often I start scribbling in my notebook! lol.
Last weekend I felt the same way that you did but this week I seem to have gained some clarity. But I've not yet gained control and just yesterday at work I had 3 dairy milk bars followed by 2 red bulls and felt awful for it...most annoying thing being that I wasn't even hungry and didn't even really want the chocolate. As others have commented, it looks like it will be a lifelong battle but if we can find some way of understanding it then perhaps we put ourselves back in control. Good luck with the rest of your weight loss - I'm sure you can do it :)
 
Poppybibby said:
You've done massively well so far Bex. It is definitely overwhelming but I actually can't recommend the Beyond Temptation book enough that Tracy recommended to me. I started reading it about 2 days ago and already I am beginning to change the way I think about food. I have got myself a notebook and whenever I think about food and binging I make a note in the book when, where and what I want to eat and I am hoping that eventually I will see some patterns and overcome it that way. I am also making notes about times in the past when I have overreaten and places I tend to overreat to try and come up with a tactic for dealing with it. My colleagues think I am crazy by the way as every so often I start scribbling in my notebook! lol.
Last weekend I felt the same way that you did but this week I seem to have gained some clarity. But I've not yet gained control and just yesterday at work I had 3 dairy milk bars followed by 2 red bulls and felt awful for it...most annoying thing being that I wasn't even hungry and didn't even really want the chocolate. As others have commented, it looks like it will be a lifelong battle but if we can find some way of understanding it then perhaps we put ourselves back in control. Good luck with the rest of your weight loss - I'm sure you can do it :)

I'm so glad you're finding that book helpful, hon. I particularly like that one because the authors are British, which makes it easier to relate to than a lot of the things you read and see from American writers, and it's very down to earth. For similar reasons, another one I like is Eating Less by Gillian Riley.

Hope you continue to identify and overcome your gremlin!! :) xx
 
Hi, so glad I found this post. Could anyone please let me know the title and author I need this book too. I'm 27 and have been struggling with over eating and binging since I was about 12 years old which actually really upsets me. I'm at the point now where I feel like I can't carry on letting food take over my life, it really does! Will I ever not be on a diet?? I recently bought a book off amazon for 1p!! About over eating although I didn't agree at all with the method it still makes me feel better that I'm not the only one obsessed! Also it was an American author n would prefer an English author.

Anyway sorry for the essay :)

I have 6 stone to lose and I'm still doing Sw but struggling with binges and secretly eating (boyfriend doesn't have a clue :( ) any help would be appreciated. Thank you
 
kayleigh.rebecca said:
Hi, so glad I found this post. Could anyone please let me know the title and author I need this book too. I'm 27 and have been struggling with over eating and binging since I was about 12 years old which actually really upsets me. I'm at the point now where I feel like I can't carry on letting food take over my life, it really does! Will I ever not be on a diet?? I recently bought a book off amazon for 1p!! About over eating although I didn't agree at all with the method it still makes me feel better that I'm not the only one obsessed! Also it was an American author n would prefer an English author.

Anyway sorry for the essay :)

I have 6 stone to lose and I'm still doing Sw but struggling with binges and secretly eating (boyfriend doesn't have a clue :( ) any help would be appreciated. Thank you

Hi hon - the books called Beyond Temptation by Audrey and Sophie Boss; they're sisters. I hope you can find something helpful in it. :) xx
 
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