embarrassed and depressed :(

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by nicnocks, 17 October 2011 Social URL.

  1. nicnocks

    nicnocks Full Member

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    Hey guys
    The last few years i've been back and forward though various diets , changing my mind every day, and guess what? im heavier than ever! I started uni in september and had planned to have lost weight by then and didn't. Everyone around me is so slim, and to make matters worse i have a thing coming up in one of my classes that we have to keep a food diary, an exercise log and then we need to get our weight and height measured in class. Im goin to be so embarrassed as im about 18.5 stone.

    Not only that, there is a lot of stair climbing to be done at uni, all my mates just run up no bother, and im puffing and panting and bright red and sweaty by the time i get to every class.

    I binge eat every night (without vomiting) and i binge drink at the weekend.

    I know what i need to do, i need to stick to sw 100% and i would like to stop the wine on a friday and sat night, but i just feel as though its a total struggle, i always say im goin to have no wine, but then friday night comes and im so stressed with the week iv had that out comes a lovely bottle of rose.

    I need to do this, i'm sick of bein the fat one at uni. Sorry for the long winded post, ive just nobody else to get this off my chest too. Being a student too money is tight so can't afford class :( xx
     
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  3. Caldil

    Caldil Full Member

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    I to have always struggled with my weight. I have 4 children and after everyone my weight always goes up that bit more. I have been on and off sw for the past 8 yrs and the daft thing is I know it works but I give up. I started for the last time (say it everytime) in June and had lost 1st 8lb by august. I then went on holiday and thought I would treat myself and carried it on when I got home. Big mistake as I have put on 1st in 7 weeks. So your not on your own with the stopping and starting. As for enjoying the wine have you tried lambrini light or swapping it for vodka and a diet mixer? Being on a budget myself I'm always looking for bargains I find green days can be done on the cheap I.e super noodles, pasta n sauce, jacket potatoes etc. I also stock up on lots of frozen veg and eggs. Eggs are very versatile and cheap and cheerful. Good luck with your journey and you will find this site is great for support and ideas xxx
     
  4. tally05

    tally05 Full Member

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    Aww don't be embarrassed! This forum is what u need - daily support! I know your a student but could you afford a gym membership? You should be able to get a discount. The reason I'm saying is coz if ur stressed on a Friday night you could go the gym instead? Even if u don't exercise you could relax in the jacuzzi and use the sauna etc and that way you can chill out without drinking? I find swimming relaxing and it's exercise too! You need to change the way u think about things...lots of stairs? Great more calories you can burn! Your carrying more weight than others up the stairs so it's like them walking up the stairs with weights in their hands which they obviously aren't so your actually using more calories than they are! Challenge yourself to climb as many as you can..go the long way to your classes so u get extra fat burning in! Losing weight is all about your attitude. You gotta want it! Who cares if your out of breath? Is caring what other people think going to make you lose weight? No! Caring about what you think about yourself is what will motivate you to lose weight and get healthy! Nobody else matters you can do it! :) ok got carried away with my pep talk then but u get the idea :) xx
     
  5. Blonn-de

    Blonn-de Full Member

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    Dont give up..

    Broke my heart to read ur message. I remember back in 2008 I was a bridesmaid for my cousin, and was 11st 12, didnt think anything of it until I had a fitting for the dress and the dress maker told me I needed to lose a few pounds, then the dress wouldnt fit on the day and the photos were worse... I looked like a whale.. I joined weight watchers for 3 years and got down to 10 st 2, I remained at this weight for a year and then last month decided to join Slimming world to help me get down to my ideal weight of 9st 3... Unfortunetly, my dad got sick and everything happened at once so the last 2 weeks I havent been sticking to anything, starting again today as I feel so crap but I know where ur coming from, the weekend comes and u just want to forget everything.. Its a hard road but when u start to lose a few pounds it really motivates u. My advise to u would be, walk wherever u can, walk to college, get off a few bus/train stops earlier, bring the dog out! anything! I used to walk an hour in and home from work each day and the weight soon fell off... also trying to stick to SW as best u can also works wonders. Hope this helps sorry if I rambled on but if u need any advise this is the best place to come :)
     
  6. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

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    First off- I cannot believe you have a uni class in which you have to be weighed. Thats truely appalling in my opinion.

    Secondly, do not be embarrassed about your weight. Its destructive thinking like that which stops you doing something about it. You have made a positive step in trying to loose weight by coming on here. All you need to do is make more small positive steps and you will get there.

    An example might be. Reduce the amount you eat in the evening. I don't mean not eat the rubbish you have been eating. I mean only eat half as much of it. Similarly, drink half as much at the weekend. Slowly, reduce the amount you are eating at night anddriking at weekends so that it is within SW syns. If you food optimise for 3 meals a day, and reduce the amount of junk food and alcohol you drink then you will loose weight. Baby steps - don't try and do it all at once.

    Also, binge eating is typically a psychological issue - often relating to low self esteem and lack of confidence. As you are at uni I would recommend you go and see your on campus counselling service. It should be free, and if you allow it, can be extremely helpful.
     
  7. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    SW is brill in that it allows you syns to have that little treat you want to.

    How much wine do you drink? could you save your syns for the weekend & use them on wine? Try drinking lower syn dry wine.

    When you binge eat what do you eat? could you make sure you have lots of SW friendly foods about to eat? If it's comfort foods such as chips, pasta etc you want, try having a green day (you don't need to worry about 1/3 superfree) and make yourself SW chips, or a lovely large bowl of pasta which you can dip in & out of.

    You've got some brililant advice try & take small steps & take on board what the others have said.
     
  8. nicnocks

    nicnocks Full Member

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    Thanks everyone, your kind words have brought me to tears, i think everything is just getting on top of me, i'm at uni to try and give my 2 kids a better life but i have taken a lot on and it is stressing me.
    Not in uni until later today so i had a sw friendly breakfast and playedd just dance 3 for 15 minutes.

    Going to try study for a couple of hours then get ready to go to uni with a new frame of mind. I am a member of the uni gym (have been since i started in sept) it was only £50 for a years membership, but been to embarrassed to go (i know it sounds silly).
    Kingleds i think i should try the uni counselling service.

    Thank you so much for all the great advice, it truly is appreciated x
     
  9. Blonn-de

    Blonn-de Full Member

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    U really need to be motivated to start, think how u will feel in couple of weeks after losing a few pounds.. just walking 15 mins a day can really help and also preparation is the key!! :)
     
  10. caramumofmany

    caramumofmany Full Member

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    hey hun, big hugs to you i think you need them, you can do this .. your a strong beautiful person... i know where your coming from i struggled with my weight since primary school where i was bullied by teachers leading onto college where i was bullied by pupils i now have my sould mate and husband we have been together nearly 15 years married for 5 of them.. we have 6 beautiful children bt with each of these children i put on more weight, i became complacement about what i weighed even when i laid on the operating table and the surgeon goes how are we going to lift her she is so heavy... it wasn't until last year when i saw pics of my holiday to scotland that something snapped inside me... i joined slimming world january this year weighing in at 19st 8.5lb... i am now 11st 5.5lb thats 8st 3lb lighter in 9 months.. if you can get your head in the right place and keep it there then you can succeed in anything you just have to decide what at the moment is more important to you, loosing the weight and feeling fit and healthy or eating and drinking leading you into depression message me if you want advice i am here to chat anytime x
     
  11. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

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    Can I just say. WOW! 8st 3lbs lost, whilst looking after 6 kids! Either is impressive - both deserves a :wow:You're a bit of a :superwoman:!
     
  12. nicnocks

    nicnocks Full Member

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    Omg! what an amazing weightloss, you must be so proud of yourself. Thanks x
     
  13. Vic1980

    Vic1980 Full Member

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    As every one is saying small steps is easier than a big leap. Also you will finf that even if you introduce small ammounts of extra activity into your weekly routine you find yourself wanting to do more. As for not wanting to go to the gym you should not feel embarrased, remember everyone else is there to work just as hard as you are and if you feel like people are staring what does that say about them, be stron and stay focused, set yourself mini achievable goals and watch your confidence start to soar. On another positive note SW does really help as i've now lost 1/2 stone in three weeks with the added help of a little swimming and walking.

    You have already passed the first challenge of deciding to do something about the way you feel.

    Good luck with your journey, and even if you do have a bad day pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get right back on it and remind yourself of the reasons which you are trying to change your life.
     
  14. notcomfortable

    notcomfortable Full Member

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    I cant afford classes either - and have found this forum AMAZING! Well done for starting and good luck mate xx
     
  15. MalibuStacey

    MalibuStacey Full Member

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    Hi Nic, I finished Uni last year also whilst raising my daughter, probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. Which is why I would encourage you to do slimming world and go to the gym because with all the running round and late nights your going to have your going to need to be healthy.

    My tips (and you can choose to ignore them all if you think I'm a waffling idiot)

    1. alcohol at weekend - either switch to a lower synned drink such as spirit and diet mixer, most are 2 syns per 25ml measure, but alsolute vodka is only 1 and as I like vokda very much this makes me happy. Also as someone mentioned above if its purely to releave stress then why not try the gym, doing an hour of exercise make you feel a million times better (I would also recoment it for that time of the month aswell). Maybe just have one drink and run a bath with lots of bubbles some candles and a slushy romance novel.

    2. Binging at night - Simply don't buy it when you go shopping, I know that you might feel guilty about not letting the kids have treats, so I buy yoghurts for my daughter or stuff that I know she likes but I don't like figrolls and scotch pancakes so your not depriving you children of their treats your just making it easier on yourself. If its not there you can't have it. And if you really need something in an evening what about the lower synned things such as curly wurlys, if you stick it in freezer and then bash it up it will tek you a good hour to get through it and hopefully besides jaw ache you will feel satisfied.

    3. stairs and red facedness - simply just don't give a ****, I have the red face gene and the moment I do any thing strenuous or warming I'm as red a cherry and when I do an exersice class I've been known to go purple. On a possitive note this does get better the fitter you get. But also you have to remember the only person that actually really pays any attention to this or even think 'oh shes a bit red' is yourself. Have you honestly ever looked at somebody else and cared whether they're a bit flushed?

    4. Budget - As said above green days are usually quite cheep as you don't really need to buy much meat and vegies are reasonably cheep especially if you go somewhere like aldi. Also have a nosey at the receipy threads for budget ideas.

    Hope SW is right for just remember not to put too much preasure on yourself. And also the only person you are doing this is for yourself and obviously you children as they will also benefit from a happy healthy mum.

    Malibu xx

    P.S. try your student liason officer they're usually pretty go and if they can't help you they should be able to point you in the right direction.
     
  16. silly sausage

    silly sausage Peas on Earth

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    Hi Nicnocks

    Lots of great advice above. I just wanted to add that I was about your weight when I started and also don't go to class. I have averaged a pound a week for 62 weeks so home weighing does work if your head is in the right place. I weigh on a Sunday and get mountains of support from the home weighers on the Sunday weigh in thread. Feel free to join us :)
     
  17. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

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    Why am I only finding out now that Absolute Vodka is 1 syn for 25mls??? I am simultaneously VERY excited about this fact & VERY annoyed I've been wasting syns on Smirnoff for 9 months!
     
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  19. ermintrude

    ermintrude Gold Member

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    Hi Nic, agree with all the advice above, it's like reading my own life history reading your post :( It's definitely do-able without going to class, Im doing it at home and have gone from almost 28st to just under 22st since Feb so you can definitely do it! Not got a lot to add to what others have already said just that there are plenty of us out there and we *can* do it! Also agree about the gym and the counselling service. Stick around, theres always plenty of people around to help and chat on here :bighug:
     
  20. Beegee

    Beegee The Big One

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    Hi Nicnocks, aw I really feel for you. We've all been there and felt that hideous despair. The important thing is to get your head in the right place to stick to this then I promise there will be no stopping you.

    As to the being weighed at uni thing - even now, I'd be taking the day off to avoid it! It's the sort of thing I could not have even contemplated doing before I started SW and I don't think they should be putting you in that position if you don't want to be.

    Wishing you lots of luck xx
     
  21. ermintrude

    ermintrude Gold Member

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    They did the same to us when I was at med school. Physiology lesson, so made us all strip down, get weighed then ride these bikes in a sealed room with the heat whacked up, then get weighed again to calculate how much weight we'd lost in sweat! Mortifying. :cry: I wouldnt do it. There were endless lessons like that at med school, in anatomy, physiology. I feel sick thinking back.
     
  22. Sassia

    Sassia Silver Member

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    WHAT?! NOOOOOOO!
    I've been on any old vodka - I'm quite easy really. It can't be only 1 syn......can it?

    Sent from my Desire HD using MiniMins
     
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