Emotional eating...

[Sez]

Its so true - thoughts control emotion, emotion controls eating.

I dont know if any you remember me from last year, but if so, you will remember that my sister and I have a dreadful relationship. Long long story, I wont go into, but she is a master at putting me down, making me feel sh*t and so on...... I am not just being bitchy, many others have the same opinion too, its just she doesnt see it! Thats why I think she is very lonely & getting nastier each year.

She, via email, had a pop at me yesterday. DH said to ignore it, but I couldnt. Whilst my head told me she was just being evil, my heart told me I am nor worth anything & I am as selfish as she tells me ( amongnst other things.)

I binged, I binged big time & this morning I got up & binged some more. I feel so low, totally rock bottom. I suppose part of what she says is right.

I feel I am pointless and might just as well give up now. (crying now:cry

Then I come on here, and I read all your support for each other and the support I have had from you guys too & maybe I am not so bad. You dont really know me, but when I post I speak from the heart. I am me, just you cant meet me, can you.

So, now I've got that off my chest I will try to finish this diet, whilst being me & ignoring her, once again. As DH says, this will eventually blow over, things will seem fine and she will do it all again. You'd think at my age I would have grown a much thicker skin wouldnt you?


Sorry for droning on.....

 

[festivalfairy]

Ohhhhhh hun *big hug* no matter how old we are when people are nasty still effect us!!!! There are a few people I know that take great pleasure in putting people down but what you need to do is just think ok its them with the problem not you!!! Hold your head up high and prove your sister wrong! She will come round family is more important then friends xxxxx

 

[Yuna]

Hi Sez,

Sorry to hear you're so low. I too am an emotional eater, and it takes a lot less to set me off than what happened to you. You are getting good advice and although I don't know the details from the way you described it I definitely think its jealousy and that she is venting her own securities out on you.

You're other half is right that you should ignore it, but I have a sometimes complicated relationship with my mother so I know that it is impossible to ignore the self doubts and the pain that nasty words can cause - all of a sudden after you thought you'd dealt with it.

I can only tell you how I deal with my Mum, and thats basically try and see what she says for what it is - her own insecurities and I don't engage her.
I start answering - Yes - Yes - Yes - Yes and she stops because she's not getting the response she wants.
I have also distanced myself from her and don't reveal any of my personal stuff to her so she has less to throw back at me.

Do you have any other family that you could talk about this too?? I know my OH doesn't understand but my sister - who doesn't get involved - agrees with me that its all my Mums stuff and not about me, it really helps.

Sorry for a long post of rambling but I hope that you're feeling a little better. You're right about the support here and try keep telling yourself that its not you, it is her lashing out because shes angry/miserable/jealous and she's the one that needs to sort herself out. I think time away from her would definitely benefit your confidence.

 

[Fatnfunky]

Sez, just wanted to wish you all the best with your diet.

Negative people will always want to see you fail, the only person you should be accountable to, is yourself.

Don't you dare give up, i am only a newbie, but i know we are all hear to provide as much support as you need

 

[Loopy!]

Hugs!

Sorry to hear this, my sister is slightly the same but doesn't sound as bad.

Personally I'd try to cut her out as much as you can. You don't need people like this in your life. Loosing weight is difficult enough without people making you feel low.

Is she jealous of you?

Ignore her hun, you're better then her in a million ways!

 

[fingers crossed]

Awww Sez, get your stubborn head on & show her she can't get to you! Apparently people see faults in others that they have themselves so really she is showing that she is selfish etc!

Emotional eating is probably why most of us are here. Just make sure you think about the emotion at the time & see it for what it is so that in time you can work through the problem.

Thinking of you xx

 

[jackietrew]

seems like your sister is maybe jealous of your life? and therefore wants to sabotage it! don't let her affect you and if anything prove her wrong! good luck hun xxx

 

[Sez]

seems like your sister is maybe jealous of your life? and therefore wants to sabotage it! don't let her affect you and if anything prove her wrong! good luck hun xxx

I think is more true than you know, & the first time its been said. She is very much a career woman, lots of money, property etc; single, no kids & never had a long term partner. Also few real friends from what I can tell too. I am 3 years older, married with two kids, my own home albeit small and not much money. I have always been much bigger than her until last year when I started LL & initially lost 8 st on "that ridiculous diet". Ihave put some back on, but I am still smaller than her & I know that it really bugs her. Apparently I am a lousy mother as I never do enough with my children, & I dont get involved in the extended family enough either.

You are all right. Enough is enough. Sez fights back....... watch this space!!!!


Thanks for listening everyone!

 

[Yuna]

Go Sez!!

That's the attitude, who knows, maybe when she sees your success she might look for some CD/LL tips from you.

Remeber that the next time 'she launches an attack'. Plus, bloody rich her giving you 'mothering advice' when she has no kids of her own.

Just smile at her and comment on how she has it all to come

 

[Kimba_soontobeslim]

Hi Sez,

Reading your posts just made me wonder...... how would she feel if she knew how much she'd hurt you..... how would she feel reading this post! I bet she'd be mortified and disgusted with herself!

I have to echo everyone else's thoughts, whatever you do and no matter how much she vents her own insecurities onto you ..... see it for just that and don't let her (or anyone else for that matter) ruin this for you!

xx