evrything gone wrong :(

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by gemma_, 18 May 2010 Social URL.

  1. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    heres just a list im way too upset..

    i put on 0.5lb
    my long term partner says hes lost spark
    aso says i hate myself so much wont let him near me or touch me... not sure if we'll be together much longer
    got my uncles funeral thursday..

    too bat 4 words how i feel i walked out of sw class coz was too upset everything building up
     
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  3. niknaks

    niknaks Silver Member

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    Oh gemma come hiya. ((((HUGSS)))

    What a crappy time your having. Sorry to hear about your uncle. :(
    Don't worry abou the SMALL gain. It will come off. Just concentrate on looking after yourself. Hope you sort things out with the other half hun xx Thinking of you. xx
     
  4. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    I hope so too :( thankyou bout uncle i sound nasty thinking about anythin else but was expecting it...

    with my partner though i just had headache thinking of everything just hurts :(

    with gain i think i ate too much sw chips n bad good things .. also had sw fry up just before weigh in :(
     
  5. Wee Doll

    Wee Doll Silver Member

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    aww hun hopefully you sort things out with your OH and dont worry about that gain its prob nothing that you wont be able to fix. sorry to hear about your uncle also x

    xxx hugs and kisses xxx
     
  6. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    *big hugs* hey sweety ur gain is minor but i know how you feel!! i am very sure you will get that plus more off next week!

    i'm sorry to hear about your uncle, may his soul rest in peace!

    hope things improve with ur OH!
     
  7. Harry'sMom07

    Harry'sMom07 Silver Member

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    Oh chicken, you poor thing. I'm sorry about your uncle.

    Firstly, half a pound is a big poo. Really, it is!! That's what I always think anyway ;) Eating a big meal before WI is possibly not the best thing...

    Secondly, maybe you and your OH need to sit down and have a chat. Ok, so you're not happy with yourself at the mo, but you're trying to change that and maybe you both need some patience and understanding in the interim?

    Hugs xx
     
  8. Meli

    Meli Gold Member

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    0.5lb is nothing, so don't worry too much about this. You've had great losses so far in the short time you've been with SW.

    If you think your relationship is worth saving I would really sit down and have a good chat with your other half and let him understand how you are feeling (emotionally, physically and mentally). Also you need to find out from him why that spark is no longer there and work towards getting that spark back into your relationship. First thing is loving and feeling good about yourself and as you see the weight coming off that should help with your self confidence.

    Sorry to hear about your uncle- may he rest in peace.

    Big hug going out to you!
     
  9. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    thankyou..

    tmi but in dont let my partner come near me :( if he touhches my tummy i flinch n pull away ... if we intimate its just normal and im half clothed... i know that part isnt everything but i guess in a closeness way it is something esp hen we cant cuddle coz of way i feel...

    i know weight isnt everything 0.5lb ... but im trying stay on track but struggling getting the superfree foods in with every meal :( so im worried tha 0.5 will turn into anothe and another ad eentually put everything back on :(

    and thankyuo kind words bout my uncle :(
     
  10. Pudgy Panda

    Pudgy Panda Full Member

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    Hi so sorry your going through such a hard time :(

    As for your OH, i am finding myself and OH in the same position and i have to keep reminding myself, just because i think i am a chubster doesnt mean he does, he loves cuddling and putting his arms sround my waist - i usually flinch but i am tryingt to be more affectionate and cuddly as he really does love me the way i am and probably doesnt see me as i see myself

    dont be too hard on yourself and him and have a big chat about everything.

    hugs to you
     
  11. losc2522

    losc2522 Full Member

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    Hi gemma, im really sorry to hear about your uncle. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with right now. Honestly, i know it is easier said than done, but please try not to worry about 0.5lb gain, something as small as drinking alot of water on weigh in day can affect the scales. Concentrate on the great loss you have achieved in total. Your doing great, i really hope you get thru things with your partner xx
     
  12. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    thankyou :) my ex before him i was fith from stupidly young age n broke up at 17but within that time he brainwashed me thinking was notihng... when met ben and had our 1st child things were soo great, but slowly i been hating myself more and more and fnd myself hinking about all bad things people have said...my partners cuddly and things but never gives out many complments so hard to know if he still fancys me .
     
  13. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    thankyou,, i had sw fry up an hour before weigh in :( used syns on bread and ketchup aswell.. not good :(
     
  14. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    hun ((( ))) you sound like you need a great big hug hun. so sorry to hear about your uncle.

    half a pound on hun is nothing its easierly done and with what you are going though its understandable don't beat yourself up about it.

    with your realtionship hun you need to work on your issues hun cause I know you don't want to lose your partner but imagine what it feels like to be pushed away all the time. I know you have body issues and i guess thats why you are doing sw but you need to learn to love yourself hun cause I know your partner does or he wouldn't be around.
    being sexy has nothing to do with how you look hun its how you act and if you let yourself feel sexy you will.
    try concerntrating on the things about yourself you love and everyday tell yourself how sexy that part of your body is. If you can't find one try harder or ask your partner.
    do you think maybe your partner might not compliment you cause he feels you won't believe him cause you don't.
    hun your partner loves you and hes the one person in the world who will take you for what you are lumps bumps and all. hes the one person you can let your guard down with (and you need to have a happy realtionship) and be 100% yourself with.
    if it helps go get your hair done and go buy your self some new undies corsets are great way to hide your tummy if you aren't confident with it and plan a nightfor just the 2 of you so you can relax and have fun and not worry about anything.
    hun I promise you your partner does still fancy you or he wouldn't try to touch you hes just alittle put out.
     
  15. snuggle69

    snuggle69 Silver Member

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    Hi Gemma, 1/2lb is nothing, especially if you had a fry up just before weigh in! So draw a line and start again, you can do it your such an inspiration on here with your posts, and have done brilliantly so far.

    So sorry to hear about your Uncle, always hard to lose a loved one.

    As for the oh, dont get to dispondant, I know how hard it is when your not happy with your body, and he does need to try and support you with your new healthy lifestyle, as he will see the benefits to ....

    Chin up chicken, tomorrows another day towards your next mini goal xx
     
  16. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    just noticed you are from nottingham hun same as me there is a woman near me and her name is tina burnett and she is a life coach and she does amazing course on confidence building I think you could really benifit from one of her courses heres her web link
    Home

    just relised theres a pic of me on the website to bigger than I am now and not in a flattering postion lol oh well lol it was a great course
     
  17. funcurls

    funcurls Never gets tired of SW!

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    Oh hun sorry to hear you're having crappy time of it!! Why do things always seem to come together!! I'm sure most of it is just a temporary blip, but sorry to hear about your uncle!

    About the rocky road you're having with your oh; men can be very selfish creatures. They love attention and have problems understanding why they aren't the centre of it!! He's probably having trouble understanding why you aren't all over him- not realising how destructive low self-esteem can be!! My dh thinks I'm in a new relationship....with Slimming World!! He's very supportive don't get me wrong, but because I am (and I hold my hands up) totally absorbed in it, he gets a bit miffed and jealous sometimes that meal planning/Minimins is getting more attention than he is!! WHOOPS!! The other side of it is that he's probably feeling a bit insecure too, because you're doing something to better your body and self-esteem and this can be a MASSIVE threat to some men! They worry that other men will want to gulp you up when you become this slim sexy beauty!! The main thing is that you do make time for him- go out for meals, watch a film, cook a delish SW friendly meal for him- great news, the new mag is out this or next week so there'll be plenty of ideas in there!!! And TALK about it with him!! If the relationship is worth saving, let him know how much you think of him but at the same time how much losing weight means to you!!XXXXX
     
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  19. chickyb16

    chickyb16 Full Member

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    So sorry to hear about your uncle.

    As for your OH, he loves you for who you are not what size you are but it is difficult to believe it when you don't love yourself. I still hate the way I look but after having four children, the last being a twin pregnancy, I have a very wobbly tummy, stretchmarks, saggy boobs and used to worry about how I looked or pray that he wouldn't put his arms round my saggy tummy! Believe me, if he's like a typical bloke he won't be noticing any lumps or bumps you might have!! I'm sure he's not perfect either and he's probably worrying about how he looks at times. Enjoy some closeness, even just holding hands or cuddling up on the sofa. Take it a step at a time. XX
     
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