Fat & frumpy to curvy & confident ....that's the plan anyway lol

[Jolene81]

I've just spent the past few hours looking through the site, reading other peoples Diaries/Journeys and decided to start my own. I will probably end up taking some ideas and inspiration from other threads, I hope no one minds :ashamed0005:I'll try not to make it into a full essay lol

The reason for finally taking control of my weight issues was having to replace my work trousers. I decided to buy a size bigger to give me a 'bit of room' and found the bigger size to be a very, very snug fit.
I have a Personality Disorder, which means I don't conform to some Social Norms and other peoples views of me don't actually bother me. Therefore when the insult of being 'Fat' has been thrown my way in the past, I haven't really been offended. I know I'm a big girl, I like food and I hate exercise so it's not rocket science lol
But now, how I feel about myself is becoming an issue for me. At a size 20 this is the biggest I have ever been, I wasn't even that big during any of my pregnancies.

MY REASONS FOR WANTING TO LOSE WEIGHT
*I'm finding myself feeling unattractive & self-conscious.
*I stay covered in jeans or long skirts with t'shirts/vest tops despite the beautiful weather and living across from the beach. This causes a lot of sweating which then causes my eczema to flare up
*I have recently been diagnosed with Plantar Fasciitis which is very painful, carrying a lot of extra weight contributes to this
*Being Asthmatic my breathing has become worse, I sound like Darth Vadar some days and I have nearly had the telephone put down on me on a few occasions due to people thinking they were getting a 'dirty phone call' with all my heavy breathing lolSo my weight loss journey began nearly 3 weeks ago when I finally took the step to join my local Wednesday Slimming World Group. Apparently I looked terrified lol which was probably more down to not knowing what to expect than being nervous about going on my own.

I weighed in at 15st 3.0lbs which was actually a lot less than I thought I was.
I have had 2 weigh-ins since then
Week 1 - 5lb loss - I wasn't expecting this much, I was convinced I couldn't have lost weight as I was just learning the ins & outs of the plan and I'd been eating more than ever! To say I was shocked (yet pleased) is an understatement
Week 2 - 0.5lb loss - Now I'm not going to lie, I was pretty gutted! Maybe it was because I had such a big loss the week before or maybe because I felt I had given up a lot that week (I watched my partner and youngest child have a Maccy Ds at the Services while I stuck to an M&S 2 syn snack with a large fruit salad & loads of water) but I walked away from Group very disheartened.

My friends & Partner have all been very positive by saying that 5.5lb in 2 weeks is brilliant and that I should be proud I lost again in week 2 even if it was a small amount. Me,being me just went into self destruct mode and my next few days went like this
Wednesday night - Pizza Hut
Thursday - Greggs YumYum, Chinese, Kit Kat & Crisps
Friday - Greggs Pepperoni Pizza, Chocolate Cookies & then copious amounts of Jager

:cry: I think this just goes to show the unhealthy relationship I have with food and thats something I really need to address in my Journey if I am to reach my goal.
I will add that I spent until the early hours of Saturday morning dancing the night away so I feel some comfort that I got some exercise lol
I have stocked up on lots of SUPERFREE FOODS and hope to get back on track before my Weigh-in on Wednesday

Hope whoever started reading this is still awake lol I have a tendency to ramble, Anyway I'm looking forward to the support of this forum & My Diary

 

[Jolene81]

Re: Fat & frumpy to curvy & confident ....that's the plan anyway lol

I'm beginning to think the Chef at work wants me to stay chubby! The menu for this week is so yummy! It's going to take all my willpower not to be tucking in at lunch time

 

[Spanx]

Found you!

Don't despair about your blow out - just get back on plan and hope for the best this week. Our bodies are strange things and weight loss doesn't follow a formula, however much we'd like it to.

Just know that if you stick to the plan, you will lose weight. It might not be every week, it might not be what you think you deserve - some weeks it might be more than you think! I try to look at the bigger picture - ie how much have I lost over the last four weeks, rather than week by week, as I quite often have a STS or even a small gain for no apparent reason. Women have more to contend with than men too, with our TOTM and hormones b*ggering us about!

We probably all have a dodgy relationship with food, or else we wouldn't be here. At least you're doing something about it. Every time you think about binging, just count to ten slowly while you ponder whether it's worth it...most of the time it isn't!

Hope you have a good week and manage to pull it back by weds x

 

[Jolene81]

Thanks for you post Spanx. I know everything you said makes sense. I think it wouldn't have been such an issue if I hadn't lost so much the week before. Because I'm still new to the plan I haven't really had the chance to experience the 'ups & downs' of each week yet. That's why reading other Diaries like yours helps new people like me to gain more understanding, so thanks again Hopefully my Diary will do the same for someone in the future

 

[Cee33]

Hey just popping in to say Hi!

As Spanx says, draw a line under your blow out and move on. You are doing so well, a little blip doesn't have to mean it's all out the window.

Is your third weigh in tomorrow?

 

[Jolene81]

Hi Cee Thanks for stopping by. Yeah I will be attending the 5.30 weigh in just to get it out of the way so I can start afresh lol

 

[Jolene81]

So I haven't had a chance to do a diary the past few days, things have been manic at home & work :argh:

I now have a few days off and now it's family time.
Wednesday was my weigh-in day and I was expecting a gain. I had just been so off plan it was unreal. I was sure 2 takeaways, last week and a copious amount of alcohol on Saturday night was gonna be my downfall. SOMEHOW I managed to lose 0.5lb though! :happy036:
I know last week I lost the same amount and was disappointed but it's amazing how losing just a small amount, and not gaining when you haven't stuck 100% to plan can make that difference to your reaction.
I will say that I know I'm not getting enough of my Superfree foods. I eat loads of fruit but I have a limited variety of vegetables that I like. I guess I'm just fussy, but I'd like to work on that as I feel there must be some way to expand on what I'm eating.

 

[Jolene81]

Re: Fat & frumpy to curvy & confident ....that's the plan anyway lol

Legoland with the family today! Fruit & snacks packed but think lunch is gonna send my syns right off the scale lol

 

[Jolene81]

Seriously lacking in motivation again this week. Maybe because its star week? :argh:
Maybe because we have been in the car travelling a lot this weekend? Weekends are pretty hard for me anyway, but being in the car and not getting to the hotel until late it was easy just to grab the quick option (chips from a near by chipshop) I'm trying to convince myself it's not too bad because I walked around Legoland constantly for 10 hours lol
The plan is that now my littlest one is with her daddy I can get some bulk cooking done on my soups and sauces. This will definitely help me

However I'm taking donations of motivation if anybody wishes to help? It's a worthy cause :sign0163: