Feel Like I Am Climbing A Mountain

[skinnyminny]

Hi guys

Does anyone else feel like they are climbing a huge mountain at the moment and struggling to get further - that is how I feel this week - well over the last few weeks.

I am trying to work out why I am feeling like this as I should be looking towards the end - I am more than 1/2 way through foundation and I have a great lossess so far.

Every day is a huge struggle and am struggling to get the packs down despite trying everyday - I waste more than I eat. I do feel well in myself, but the craving to eat is really really strong at times.

How does everyone else cope with the urge to eat?

I regret not starting a diary thread at the start of this journey, as this may have really helped me get through it so I tend to post on here & annoy you all with my latest drama but I do feel like all aspects of my life are in crisis at the moment and wonder wether I need to see a councellor and this may help me work through my depression & my binge eating in the past and help me to beat it.

I am not sure the LL sessions are doing that, I do not seem to get much out of it at all.

Sorry I am off on the emotional rollercoster again probably cos it is TOTM.

x

 

[tootsie]

Hiya Hun...

I am going to post in reply to this later babe. Got a meeting in a mo, may as well clear my desk now!!!

Just wanted to let you know I am not ignoring you:wave_cry:

((((((hugs))))))))))

 

[skinnyminny]

Oh babes would never think that..... you have a lot more on your mind than my issues - but thanks for thinking of me anyway.

Hope all goes well with your meeting :hug99:

Speak later
x

 

[dizzy-n-mizzy]

You are right you probably are having an emotional moment due to TOTM. But the issues you have brought up are real they just come to the forefront when you are feeling low.

As you are on lighterlife you will most certainly deal with these issues along the way. You pay a lot for the service with LL. I advise you get as much out of it as possible. So voice your concerns and ask for help. I did CD so didn't although thought things through on my own a lot.

I am back on food now but have put on. The weight gain is in part due to episodes on emotional binge eating which has started to reemerge. Since I have realised that anxiety about putting back on weight was the likely cause of the bingeing and have talked it through with my hubby who was blissfully unaware of my disfunctional eating before this I have felt so much calmer and not binged at all.

As you still have a little way to go with the SSing you have time to think about and start dealing with these issues. Your lighterlife counsellor will have lots of useful advice I'm sure. There are also books that may be helpful maybe someone else will recommend. There is the website recently recommended on here I think it was b-eat (need to google). I also think Paul McKenna techniques may be useful for us in controlling these urges.

Tomorrow I'm sure you will feel better and more positive but saying that the times you are low are just reminding you of your concerns. Concerns that you can try to deal with when feeling stronger and more positive. I have noticed this very much myself.

It's not easy when you get there but so worth the efforts so keep going. We will crack this!

Dizzy x

 

[dizzy-n-mizzy]

Hi Skinnyminny

Also meant to say, go ahead and start a diary. it's never too late I only started mine after I got to goal.

Will look out for it!

Dizzy x

 

[Vorlina]

Hi Skinny

I think that going through this programme really makes you deal with anything which you may have been "hiding" under food or drink, and for some people this may take longer to emerge than others.

I am on day 40 something, and I have found without a doubt that there are issues in my life that I was completely unaware of consciously, but which have clearly been festering and bubbling away in my subconscious which (to use a celeb term!) I self-medicated with food and drinks.

When you take away the comfort blanket, the issue has a chance to come out and be resolved. I think this is a very important part of the absinence programme as it is only by taking away the ability to resolve our problems that we can ensure (as Dizzy said) that we don't repeat these patterns into our post LL beautifulness.

If you are not finding that your counsellor works for you, then there are many options, including potentially changing counsellors, but I'd suggest as a first stop talking to your LLC about what you want to get out of the sessions. I did that and our last session was LIGHT YEARS ahead of what we had done before.

In the meantime, I'd also suggest keeping a little log of when you have particularly strong urges to eat and what you are doing/feeling at the time. You may find a pattern that you hadn't been consciously aware of.

We're all rooting for you - you will get through this and you will be wonderfully gorgeous!

 

[skinnyminny]

Dizzy/Vorlina

Thank you sooooo much, your comments have really moved me.:cry:

I think for me my LLC lacks confidence & experience & one thing she has said is that she is not allowed to counsel anyone on a one 2 one basis, this I find a frustrating as sometimes I am not ready to share my deepest fears with the group & the only private time I have with my LLC is in the "weigh" room and she discourages us to discuss anything during that time as she is rushing through trying to get us all weighed - as an example we did not start any councelling until 15 mins before the end time last week.

I chose LL becasue I recognised that I would need the councelling and felt that this would be the missing ingredient from other diets - I guess I feel disapointed that I do not seem to be getting much out of this aspect of the programme as I had weighted it very heavily on whether I would be successful with the programme.

Since being on LL I have def uncovered some hidden truths about myself & in some cases I have opened up a huge can of worms in terms of my "abnormal" type behaviour and it really really scares me and I do not think my LLC is experienced enough to be able to help me deal with it.

This site is really helping in terms of facing my fears and getting them out, almost as if by saying it aloud you are acknowledging you have a problem. I think I will start a diary to get those thoughts & fears down - it will hopefully help battle some demons.

Thanks guys I do so appreciate all your comments.

 

[Pixie]

DRAMA QUEEN!
I know how u feel skinny Im about the same stage as you and sometimes its so hard

 

[In search of me]

HI there skinny!
Firstly, big hugs! I know I havent started yet but have some experience of people with issues from my job and from my own experiences. From what you are saying I wonder whether there is any chance that you could change to a more experienced councellor? If not it may be worth condisering changing to CD & having 1-1 councelling (unless you could afford LL & councellor) to work through some of the issues. Overeating is an addiction and like all addictions are complex and individual. While for some the group sessions will be k and for others a more in depth & personal aproach may be needed. I'm nt sure what LL policy is on 1-1 but would be suprised if they discourage discussion about concerns! It may be worth ringing them for general advice on what to do for the best. At the end of the day the whole process is about your individual needs & finding what works for you
Hope you find the answer you're looking for...keep us posted & keep up the good work meanwhile....look at how well you've done so far! Its incredible!!
One thing I would say is dont make any definate plans until you've past TOTM when you're more able too see clearly!

 

[skinnyminny]

Hey Pix

How you doing?

 

[Pixie]

Hey Pix

How you doing?

Ohhhh! U know! Just ok....the job sitch is really stressing me out so am gasping to eat something (clearly stress is my trigger!)
Bills are now rushing through the door for the wedding to add to my misery too!
Ah well at least Ill be skinny homeless or not
Not long til ur hols now eh?
Bring on the Bikini!

 

[tootsie]

Hi there Skinny...

How you doing today? Sorry i didn't post last night, no chance at all to get on line, running daughter everywhere, cooking, washing, I could go on but wont!!!!!

I think what everyone else has said is so right, issues are appearing where as before you would have stuffed them down with food and carried on!! Now food has been taken away and we are brushing the surface with the councelling your mind has been woken up and you are having to recognise these issues/thoughts and feelings and learn how to deal with them.

I think we really are just scratching the surface with the CBT but I can see that it would be of huge benefit (and I am considering it) to get some 1-1 life councelling using CBT. I can't get enough of reading about it, it's fascinating!!!

I really do hope you are feeling a bit better babe, and don't forget to shout if you need us xxxxx


How are you doin Pix?

 

[skinnyminny]

Thanks Toots,

I hope all works out well with you & the job situation.

I am in despair with it all at the moment to be honest, but I do think you & everyone is right regarding uncovering the real issues/problems I have.

I am going to have a chat with LLC tonight & see what she thinks.

Speak soon
x

 

[dizzy-n-mizzy]

Thanks Toots,

I hope all works out well with you & the job situation.

I am in despair with it all at the moment to be honest, but I do think you & everyone is right regarding uncovering the real issues/problems I have.

I am going to have a chat with LLC tonight & see what she thinks.

Speak soon
x

Hi again Skinny

Just an add on to help you feel positive about getting through this. One thing I read on the b-eat web page was that Binge Eating is an eating disorder like anorexia and bulimia with psychological origins and it IS CURABLE in the vast majority of cases. This gave great optimism and gave me confidence and I felt less ashamed enough to talk it through with hubbie and I haven't binged or even just over indulged since. There really is every hope that with effort and understanding you will work through this to have very happy conclusion. As can all of us!:clap:

:bliss::bliss::bliss:

Dizzy x

 

[Janey]

Keep going Skinnyminny, you can do it!!

 

[sukie sue]

hey hun !!!
the middle is a hard time ,
but it will pass and youll be on top of the world again before you know it , and twice as proud because you did climb that mountain to get there xxxx

 

[Fuzzys Angel]

keep going honey, you can do it.....

Just think about the positive side of how well you have done....

Good luck babe xxx

 

[skinnyminny]

Hi guys, first of all thank you so much for all your support.

Well I went to wiegh in last night with every intention of speaking to LLC & possibly giving it all up for a while. When I got there there was no opportunity to talk to her as another lady was doing the weigh ins and so there was no private time.

However as a group we were chatting about how we all felt and once the session started properly, not sure how it happened but I was able to offload my fears and how I felt, the group was amazing and sooo supportive, despite me taking over the session with my problems they encouraged me to talk more and all said they could identify, this helped in realising that I was not alone in this struggle.

I acknowledged that I probably have developed a few eating disorders as a result of other issues which I have been battling with for some time & that I needed more help in trying to find out what these are.

I have decided that I am going to continue with the plan and will probably do a further 4 weeks on development before moving onto management. I am also going to get some 1 -1 councelling - it may be a bit pricey, but I really feel I need it and have done for some time.


I realised a few things last night, that being thin is not going to make me happy and so I should not place too much emphasis on trying to attain happiness through thiness. Being thin for me is about getting me to look the way I used to before I became consumed by issues & pressures that triggered my binge / starvation cyle as well as other addictive behaviours. Being thin is just the start of it and I will still have a way to go before I find the answers I am looking for.

I really benefited from the group work last night for the first time and the support is fantastic in my group.

The suppoort on minimins is great also so thanks to all of you who have taken the time to post your comments, your advice has been invaluable in me coming to terms with the issues in my life and whilst it may take time at least I am no longer in denial and can start work on getting myself better.

Much love & thanks to you all - until the next drama/crisis!

x

 

[katie_oxo]

Skinnyminny I'm so glad you feel better after your class and that being there really helped you. I do think that it's a really good idea to have 1:1 counselling if you feel that is what you need -- remember the pounds that you spend on it will be next to nothing compared to the years of ease that it can give your mind.

Cath

 

[In search of me]

Really pleased to see that you have got your answer and are obviously feeling relieved about it. All this thinking can be exhausting cant it! Also good that you've got a group where you can talk, be open and get support - what its all about after all. Hope that you find a good 1-1 couns...if you know someone whose had some personal recommendation cant be beaten...good luck with it