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Feeling hurt from cdc

xKimmiex

Silver Member
#1
I'm feeling really left out and hurt ATM!! I had a two week break from cd but before that I was very close to my CDC, she left me positive comments ect on my facebook and made me feel se believed In me. Anyway while on my break a girl I know started with her, now I'm not too keen on this girl as she has always lied to me (about being pregnant ect ect) but now my CDC is completely ignoring the fact I started on cd yday saying "keep me updated" but it constantly emailing this girl and being all friendly with her OH like she did mine. I'm so hurt I could cry as she was te only one who trusted in me! I feel betrayed and just rubbish. Iv just told her "I feel like I'm doing this on my own" a min ago after the keep her updated comment. What do I do?! Iv got a lump at back of my throat because I feel so hurt :,(
 
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Setas

Silver Member
#2
Aw Kimmie - don't let it get to you - get your support from us - we all believe in you. You were doing so well before your op..and will be back into it before you know it. - your CDC might have other stuff on her mind or not even realise how dismissive she is being. You aren't on your own - we are all here for you.
 
#3
Hi Kimmie hon

I had this exact conversation with my therapist today about these exact same feelings of being left out and abandoned. I know you have a similar background and residual issues as me and apparently this is a very typical reaction from people like us. We have an underlying "sensitivity" that makes us filter situations such as these to feel very negative for us. I was advised to remember the following rules:
- the other person is not a mind reader so often does not know we are feeling low/left out etc.
- our underlying "filter" may be amplifying the effect of their behaviour so try to put another spin on it - maybe the CDC is giving this other person the "newbie" support she gave you and she only has so much time/effort to go around on a day to day basis for "newbies". Maybe she trusts that you know she is there for you if you need her but at also realises that she has to let you learn to trust yourself to do this and not be so generally dependent on her? But that if you let her know you really need her she will be there to help you out with specific problems?
- it's not always about us - and this is not meant to sound harsh but is more a tool to remind ourselves that our "reality" may be distorted and may not be the true "reality" of the situation. So this is again about trying to step back from the emotion for a moment and see if there is another angle about this situation? That this girl going to CD has nothing to do with your journey with CD or with your relationship with your CDC?

Big hugs and hope you feel better soon xx
 

sasha63

I ♥ CD !!
#4
(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
 
#5
Brilliant post goreygirl
 

xKimmiex

Silver Member
#6
Goreygirl said:
Hi Kimmie hon

I had this exact conversation with my therapist today about these exact same feelings of being left out and abandoned. I know you have a similar background and residual issues as me and apparently this is a very typical reaction from people like us. We have an underlying "sensitivity" that makes us filter situations such as these to feel very negative for us. I was advised to remember the following rules:
- the other person is not a mind reader so often does not know we are feeling low/left out etc.
- our underlying "filter" may be amplifying the effect of their behaviour so try to put another spin on it - maybe the CDC is giving this other person the "newbie" support she gave you and she only has so much time/effort to go around on a day to day basis for "newbies". Maybe she trusts that you know she is there for you if you need her but at also realises that she has to let you learn to trust yourself to do this and not be so generally dependent on her? But that if you let her know you really need her she will be there to help you out with specific problems?
- it's not always about us - and this is not meant to sound harsh but is more a tool to remind ourselves that our "reality" may be distorted and may not be the true "reality" of the situation. So this is again about trying to step back from the emotion for a moment and see if there is another angle about this situation? That this girl going to CD has nothing to do with your journey with CD or with your relationship with your CDC?

Big hugs and hope you feel better soon xx
Spot on hun, thank you so much :( it just feels like I'm being left out and I know that sounds stupid :(
X
 


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