Feeling Jealous

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by Shirleen, 3 October 2011 Social URL.

  1. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

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    I know I shouldn't but a friend of mine posted today how she'd lost 7 stone since May, through her Gastric Band. I'm pleased for her and told her so, but can't help feeling a bit Blah! about my 32lb loss in more time! Mind I wouldn't want the band myself. Just sort of makes SW seem hard work iyswim?

    Please don't anyone think I'm knocking WLS. I'm not knocking anyone at all just stating how ugly jealousy is!!!!!
     
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  3. xMandyDx

    xMandyDx Determination is Key

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    I think I'd be a bit jealous of that much of a weight loss myself...but here's the thing, it's not really jealousy of their acheivement. It's actually us feeling sorry for ourselves.
    You've done so, so well. Don't let this knock you off track. She's had to have an operation for this. You've done it through sheer grit and determination, so... you've had a victory that she hasn't right?
    Maybe she's feeling a bit jealous of your will power.

    At the end of the day, you'll get where she is, but you're taking the scenic route. Enjoy the trip. And look after that determination, it's done you proud so far!
     
  4. Bunnylush

    Bunnylush Gold Member

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    Shirleen ,you have made a healthy choice to change your life,and are working hard at it. Not going the medical route. I'm sure your friends food list isn't very exciting or fulfilling ,you have lots of tasty food to explore xx
     
  5. Nics.ck

    Nics.ck Full Member

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    Do not knock your own achievement...you have lost a considerable amount of weight! Having surgery for weight issues is totally life changing, imagine never really being able to enjoy a meal out again! Losing weight that quickly poses other problems....can you imagine how saggy her skin is? So that will be more surgery to sort that out then! You will get there too, so what if it takes longer...the feeling is great when you know what you have achieved in willpower alone!
     
  6. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    Hope you feel a bit better for airing your feelings which are completely natural as you say it is hard work. Mind you I think wls is a s well in its own way (no I haven't had it but a friend has)
    Well Done on your weight loss so far :) xx
     
  7. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

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    I completely get the jealousy - its so difficult when you are taking the hard slog & see someone suceeding by a different, apparently easier method.

    If i had lost 7st through WLS i don't think i would feel the sense of achievement i do from losing 39lbs on SW. Whilst i feel there is a considerable sacrifice made when opting for WLS i personally prefer the slow & steady reeducation of my brain & taste buds with regards to nutrition which i have found on SW. It sounds like your friend has found what works for her, which is brilliant.

    Shirleen - you KNOW you are doing this for long term health benefits. You KNOW this works. You KNOW that if you want to stick to it long term you CAN. Next time you feel jealous just remember these things x
     
  8. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

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    Thanks all of you, I know you're right just having a major blip!

    Another friend who has had surgery recently, posted on FB that at last she was 'back to proper food' which was fish and chips!!! I was a bit open mouthed at that!

    Onwards and downwards!
     
  9. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    Shirleen !!! I want to give you a big hug and have a laugh with you. You are such a lovely, honest, open person.

    What you have done is so great . Much, much greater than a gastric band weight loss. Like you I am not knocking surgery, it is always horses for courses, but never forget that you have worked hard for your 32 lb loss, an incredible loss.............

    Right that is that now back to the Shirleen I love and know...............

    Oh and by the way jealousy is ugly but it is also such a natural emotion at times and anyone who has never been jealous of anything in their lives is, in my opinion, a bit of a fibber.
     
  10. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

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    'normal' service will resume shortly! Thanks hun
     
  11. loosemyageinweight

    loosemyageinweight Full Member

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    I would also like to add that whilst your friend has had her weight loss sorted physically, surely WLS doesn't address the mental/emotional side of weight loss?

    What you are doing is addressing both sides of weight loss and gives you a far,far bigger advantage in the long term......though I do get the jealousy!
     
  12. wenchie

    wenchie Silver Member

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    I'd have been jealous, too - I have been in fact when my Mum started talking about a friend's son who'd lost 16st through WLS - I think it's only natural because they've taken the shortcut through something that we struggle with. It doesn't make us bad people to acknowledge that, I don't think, because really, on the surface it just isn't fair.

    Stepping back and looking at it logically, it is fairer - they've had surgery (with major risks, especially as they were obese. People do die having WLS, as with any procedure involving anasthetic and things cutting one open) and either it permenantly changes their eating (so they can only eat small quantities, etc) or it doesn't and then the weight is very likely to go back on (which is what happened with the friend's son - this was his second WLS). I'm not knocking people who have the surgery, but it's a huge thing to do and it's not really the easy shortcut that it feels like when you hear the numbers and think but why not me.
     
  13. BuzzyBee

    BuzzyBee Full Member

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    I couldn't agree more with wechie that it's not the shortcut that many people think it is. It certainly isn't without its risks.
    Shirleen, as others have said it's normal to feel jealous, you're not a bad person for feeling this way.
    Your weightloss is fantastic, well done on your weightloss so far.
    Just think, you'll probably suffer less sagging because you're losing at a slower rate. You'll get there in the end girl :)
     
  14. Lucia Lucia

    Lucia Lucia Silver Member

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    I think what you are feeling is natrual to be honest. If we feel so desparate for something of course it's only natural to see someone else getting what we are striving so hard to achieve.

    I can really relate to that. I remember feeling very jealous of friends when we were having a terrible time trying to start a family. My SIL announced she was expecting again and moaning as they didnt want anymore and I found that really difficult BUT lots of years later and I have three kids and feel no jealousy for others starting a family, just joy for them.

    It's ok to feel this way and it does hurt but you are slimming in a much more natural way and it's harder and will take longer but you will get there x
     
  15. Beegee

    Beegee The Big One

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    Blimey, I'm jealous of her too losing 7 stone in such a short space of time! It's taken me 18 months to get to where I am but I can honestly say I would take my route any day rather than the surgery. Still a bit green with envy though - it seems so 'easy'! I don't blame you a bit for how you're feeling, it's totally understandable x
     
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