finding a balance between obsession and control

T

takeawayqueen

Full Member
i have spent most of my life worrying about how i look...it started with my mum telling me at twelve that i had put on weight...today i know this was puppy fat. at fourteen i was out on diet pills i was only a size 8. the first time i felt comfortable in my own skin i was 19 and pregnant with my first child. i felt.liberated and free. now at 32 i still hate my body. i am 5ft0 and weigh 9.11. i kno deep down i am not totally obese but still feel i will only be happy when i control my weight. two yrs ago i was a size six to eighr and was miserable. my partner and i had broke up and i was let go frm work...health is our wealth but how far are we willing to go? is ww or sw or rosemsary really going to help us become happy? where is the line between health and happiness? ? ?
 
thanks for the reply but i am sure i am not the only one with these experiences. i posted this so other might think about the real reasons they are on their journeys. i have friends that have suffered health implications due to obesiety nd need to diet but cant find the strenght.. i also have friends that are so thin yet diet to the extreme. i think we all need some sort of councelling or support like these sites. was jist trying to get people.thinking. . . xx
 
i suppose my point is that dieting, getting a healthy body goes hand in hand with getting a healthy mind. the support shown here is amazing nd if some of the sliming clubs had the sme approach they wud be more successful
 
Well yes - we are all different and for some folk they undoubtedly have a very poor relationship with food. For others . They would just like to lose a stone or so. And for some they have eating disorders

I can only answer from my own perspective . I lost weight for health and vanity reasons . I'm happy to be a size 10 and I don't think too deeply about anything else - I just concentrated on the job in hand .

The next person to post though may view things entirely differently to me : )
 
I joined ww last year and at 5ft 7 I was 16.13 stone! Seriously obese! I got completely obsessed with it! Was on my scales 3-4 times a day! All I though and talked about was dieting! I lost 5 stone inside 6 months and then alot of things changed i'n my life! Work, home ect and i slowly started slipping back to my old ways! Binge eating! I weighed back i'n on Thursday and was 15.9 stone! Nearly 4 stone back on! I know for health reasons i have to get the weight of! But am scarred I'll be come obsessed again, and then another vicious circle will start! I don't know which is worse! Being overweight or extreme dieting! I can't seem to find a happy medium! I would go as far as saying I'd an eating disorder when I binge! I don't know what my point was supposed to be but that's my story! No matter what I do i'n never happy i'n my own skin xx
 
laurenasha said:
I joined ww last year and at 5ft 7 I was 16.13 stone! Seriously obese! I got completely obsessed with it! Was on my scales 3-4 times a day! All I though and talked about was dieting! I lost 5 stone inside 6 months and then alot of things changed i'n my life! Work, home ect and i slowly started slipping back to my old ways! Binge eating! I weighed back i'n on Thursday and was 15.9 stone! Nearly 4 stone back on! I know for health reasons i have to get the weight of! But am scarred I'll be come obsessed again, and then another vicious circle will start! I don't know which is worse! Being overweight or extreme dieting! I can't seem to find a happy medium! I would go as far as saying I'd an eating disorder when I binge! I don't know what my point was supposed to be but that's my story! No matter what I do i'n never happy i'n my own skin xx
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I can completely relate to this.... I've always had an issue with my weight and the way I look... I lost just short of 3 stone on sw in 26 weeks and it was all I ever thought about. I had two weeks when I stayed the same and two weeks when I had 0.5lb gain and to this day I don't know why. In the 26 weeks I was on plan I didn't dare go over my sun allowance as I just wanted to lose the weight. Anyway, I got to target and I had a weekend off of plan and it went spiralling out of control from there.

I really really struggle with moderation and it really is all or nothing for me. Even when I got to target I looked in the mirror and I couldn't see the weight I'd lost. After the weekend off of plan I followed it by constantly binge eating. I would throw chocolate bar wrappers in the bin and I thought well if nobody else can see them, I haven't had them and just ate more later on. I used to devour a packet of biscuits, a huge bar of choccy, a large bag of kettles chips and much more besides. I put all my weight back in within a matter if months I was eating that many calories. I still don't know what the triggers are to make me binge eat... I recognise now how much weight I lost as I have a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes that I cannot even wear. I do worry that when I get to target again that the same thing will happen

I need to work out what my triggers are....

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
 
Aw becky I wish I knew what my triggers are to! I think sometimes I don't eat enough during the day and then become soooo hungry that I don't know when to stop! I was the same not knowing how much weight I'd lost! But now I don't have a stitch to fit me just a wardrobe full of size 12/14 That I can't even get past the bottom of my thighs anymore :( xx
 
My eating habits are strange, I've discussed this with my mum as I can be frank and open and honest with her, but I'd like to share them.

Eating habits when not on a diet: I starve myself during the day then binge massively on anything I can get my hands on at night, then the cycle begins again the next day. I don't drink or eat t all, this gives me massive headaches and makes me vile and grumpy.

Eating habit when on a diet : Similar to above, except i will worry myself for days about starting a diet even going 72+ hours with no sleep cooking, preparing and planning food, only to then crash out for 24 hours and then starving myself as I'm scared to eat and ruin my diet. I over think it too much and end up sabotaging myself because I dont think I deserve to be slim and happy.

We all have our demons and some we can't work out on our own, but thats why support is crucial, to help us battle our own demons and give us that bit extra we need to make our weight loss a success.

Some of us will need more help than others. Being this overweight doesn't make me happy it stops me from leading a normal life and having the thing I want most, a baby. Even though I have some of the most compelling reasons to loose weight I still sit here and make the same mistakes over and over again. I'm scared I'll still be unhappy if I'm thin. I sometimes say to myself ( even though I know it's completely wacko and food doesn't make you happy) hey, I might not be happy now, but atleast i can eat what i want and it will make me happy for short while, isn't that worth the risk of not loosing weight and still being unhappy but not being able to eat what I want every time? I have health issues caused by my weight or not helped by it (pre diabetic, PCOS and fibromyalgia) and the fact I have weight induced infertility I still can't see that I'm the one who holds the key to my happiness and that food is merely fuel.

Sorry for rambling on, and I hope you didn't all die of boredom I just wanted to put my story across.

Health Vs happiness? whats living a long life if your un-happy, but whats living a life cut short by unhealthiness, it's a chicken versus the egg situation. it's about what you want from your own life.
 
And what do you want Sarah? I know I'm only kidding myself that I'm happy being overweight and eating what I want! What I really want is to be a healthy size and be happy! I still want to enjoy the foods that I like, that's why I chose ww! It suits me! I too starve myself all day (not on purpose, It's just the eating habbit I'm used to) and them binge at nights! And your subscribed to my thread pet if you want to do it together xx
 
laurenasha said:
And what do you want Sarah? I know I'm only kidding myself that I'm happy being overweight and eating what I want! What I really want is to be a healthy size and be happy! I still want to enjoy the foods that I like, that's why I chose ww! It suits me! I too starve myself all day (not on purpose, It's just the eating habbit I'm used to) and them binge at nights! And your subscribed to my thread pet if you want to do it together xx
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All I want, is to be normal, healthy and to do all the things that other people can do. I want to be able to have a family, I want to be able to leave the house and go to the supermarket with feeling like people are criticising me, i want to be able to go to a theme park for the first time and be able to go on the ride ( I cant currently go as I wouldn't fit in the seats) I guess to be happy, and I know I'm the only one stopping this.

and yes I have subscribed hun so I will be over there on your thread having a nosey :D
 
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sarah - if you want to lose weight/have a baby/live a normal life then you need to take a small step first.

Could you start by amending your goal weight on here? Seeing starkly that you have 12 stone to lose could have a rather demotivating effect on you. It would me. Make your first target 19 stone 13... that is entirely achievable in a relatively short space of time.

Secondly I would work on why you're so keen on self sabotage. Make tomorrow the day you eat breakfast. OK, no need to have a full english at 7am but is there a reason why you can't have a bowl of porridge or some fruit and yogurt at say 10am? Then tell yourself you will eat again 4 hours later... and do it. And take control here.. you are not a slave to your eating habits, you absolutely can get a grip on them. You can stop yourself from binging tomorrow night y'know. You are not powerless. Even if you have to stomp through your house screaming at yourself tomorrow night - fight those demons. Do it tomorrow. And then when you wake up the next day you will feel a sense of achievement that you did it.

Counseling would be beneficial also. You have very little without your health - and you could begin improving yours now

good luck
 
GretaGrip said:
sarah - if you want to lose weight/have a baby/live a normal life then you need to take a small step first.

Could you start by amending your goal weight on here? Seeing starkly that you have 12 stone to lose could have a rather demotivating effect on you. It would me. Make your first target 19 stone 13... that is entirely achievable in a relatively short space of time.

Secondly I would work on why you're so keen on self sabotage. Make tomorrow the day you eat breakfast. OK, no need to have a full english at 7am but is there a reason why you can't have a bowl of porridge or some fruit and yogurt at say 10am? Then tell yourself you will eat again 4 hours later... and do it. And take control here.. you are not a slave to your eating habits, you absolutely can get a grip on them. You can stop yourself from binging tomorrow night y'know. You are not powerless. Even if you have to stomp through your house screaming at yourself tomorrow night - fight those demons. Do it tomorrow. And then when you wake up the next day you will feel a sense of achievement that you did it.

Counseling would be beneficial also. You have very little without your health - and you could begin improving yours now

good luck
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Thanks hun, I started weight watchers and i"m really trying to make a difference, yesterday was the 1st in months I actually got to bed before 3 am ( i have bipolar and racing thoughts keep me awake at nights) and got up before 11am and I had porridge for breakfast and it was lovely! after 4 days on weight watchers I'm slowly tackling my eating my habit one bite at a time :)

I have received 6 courses of counselling in the last 8 years for my bipolar, my eating habits, and a couple of other issue's I have, I'm not keen on going to more as the counselling service in my area seems pretty poor, I have a great family network who try and support me the best they can, plus I have found some of the most amazing people on this site in only the last 4 days who really have made me take a look at my life and my habits and support me everyday :) I know I can log on here and if I have an issue instead of bottling it up and it making me depressed or anxious or panicky, insecure, there will be someone out there who understand or who can support me and give me a little advice to see it's not as bad as I thought.

I have been open about alot of things in the last few days, from my eating habits to my true size in revealing pictures, and also about me and my OH 4 year battle with ttc, and I almost feel liberated. I am now way cured or saying anything like that, but this site has made me see things alot clearer :)
 
Yes, it's a really helpful site and you can always find someone on here with similar goals/issues etc.

Glad you managed some breakfast. Make small changes at first. You will get there with determination
 
takeawayqueen said:
i suppose my point is that dieting, getting a healthy body goes hand in hand with getting a healthy mind. the support shown here is amazing nd if some of the sliming clubs had the sme approach they wud be more successful
Click to expand...

I totally get where you are coming from I have similar issues with my weight although i an heavier at 10st 12lbs and only 5'3.. My dad used to grab my belly when i was younger and ive been told constantly by my mum im 'big boned' which certainly isnt the case.. I just love my food too much!!!

Those sort of memories stick with you forever and hard to erase they certainly contribute towards my self esteem and body image now. I remember everyone commenting on my chest size at 12 years of age, from then on I wore baggy huge tops/jumpers sat with a pillow in front of me i was SO self conscious. I suppose ive come a long way since then but I dont think a number on a set of scales ever means 'happiness'.. For me I would of course be happy, clothes would fit better and people would notice. But would i? I dont know.. I always find fault but none the less i still want to get there to see.

Usually weight is a factor but our own mind is the biggest factor in happiness, if weve looked at ourselves in the mirror for so long judging ourselves it will take a long while to accept a new body shape.

For me weight loss isnt just about a specific weight, its about a life style change, looking after my body and being healthy too. Healthy body =healthy mind and all that x
 
I think that being obsessed with a diet is always a sure way to fail in the long term.... Last year I did slimming world yes it worked and yes I was obsessed, but as soon as I'd lost it and started to relax, it all piled back on.... Now I'm on weight watchers and taking it much slower, I feel relaxed about it go to weigh in when I want even if its just once a month! I hope this is the path to a new long term healthy lifestyle? Well only time will tell :confused:.........
 
Love this thread and am glad to see others feel like me. I was doing ww loosing the same 20lbs and no more over the last few years. No doubt it works if you stick to it. I broke my leg recently which has really screwed things up for me. I can't exercise which is freaking me out and i am sitting around a lot. And yep you guessed it i have put on weight as a result. I was running a lot and weight was slowly falling away i was due to do a few 10ks but. Because of being sick for the last 11 weeks now i can't do a bloody thing and i feel at rock bottom. Help! My leg is a lot better than it was but because of tendon and ligament damage i have pain when i walk around normally so exr is out. I am sorry if i sound like i am feeling sorry for myself maybe i am but i am so pissed off which is causing me to eat a lot because it's kind of like 'who cares anyway' attitude if you know what i mean? Anyone any advice for me? I would love to hear from someone.
thanks for reading :)
 
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