Friends Opinions - Advice needed!

[Trinalouise]

Hey all,

I am starting the diet tomorrow and last night I spoke to a close friend telling him of my plans.

I was quite worried by his reaction to be honest. He was very concerned and couldn't understand how the diet would be safe. I tried my hardest to explain to him but he just sees it as starvation. He says there must be other ways and doesn't see why I am not just happy the way I am. I know he is just saying that to be a friend, but it doesn't actually help. I have come to the conclusion that I am not happy with the way I look and my level of health and have made the right decision to change this and to be told I don't need to loose weight when at 19 stone I clearly do doesn't help.

As I am at uni all day sometime and I would usually be going to lunch with friends, so I can't hide the fact that I am doing this diet, which I wouldn't want to as I am going to need the support of those around me, how do I combat this? A lot of people who don't understand this diet or haven't heard about this kind of thing aren't going to understand what any why I am doing this.

How do you guys deal with this??

Trina x

 

[kimberleyanddarren]

To be honest I tell as few people as possible and those I do tell I just let them know its the only thing that works for me, I'm giving it a shot and I will regret not trying it more. Tell him it's fine he doesn't understand, but you would really appreciate his support and understanding, if he is a true friend he will agree!

 

[Loopylou]

My family were all skeptical apart from my husband. Friends have been more encouraging. To my family I have told them how depressed, upset, self conscious, desperate and sad I am at being so overweight and that if they loved me they would support me. However, I also told my mum if she couldn't support me then we should not talk about the diet at all and that I would seek support elsewhere. I think this made her think and 2 days in she's fully behind me as is everyone else.
I think if it did not turn out this way then I would have told them how I felt and then been quite short with them but I'm a bit of a skulker really

 

[summerslim13]

You must think about yourself and your long term goals; you can't please everyone. I haven't told anyone, apart from a few relatives; I avoid social occasions and if I'm meeting up with friends, I usually go for coffee. This may not be the best way around things, but your own happiness is the most important factor. Perhaps try letting him know that the diet is the lesser of two evils; carrying excess weight in the long term, is not good for health.

 

[jael001]

The fact is, it IS safe and you're not starving your body, you're getting 100% of the nutrients and minerals your body needs everyday (which you probably aren't even getting on a "normal" diet) and you're losing weight because your body uses it's own body fat as fuel. I have so much more energy while I'm on this diet than I did when I wasn't doing it and living on crap everyday, too much sugar and fatty foods. It's nice that your friend thinks you look ok, but it's not really helpful. Maybe explain to him that your BMI puts you in whichever category it is and that for your health you need to lose a significant amount of weight.

 

[Simi]

At the end of the day this is about you, you know this is a safe diet and its what you've decided to do so just explain to your friend you understand his concern for you but this is something you want to do to be healthy and like kimberleyanddarren said if he's a true friend he will understand! I personally prefer not to tell anyone either the less they know the fewer the questions

 

[Trinalouise]

Thanks guys for all the advice, its not him that I am worried about, just other friends in general.

I think I'll just keep it too myself as much as possible and if anyone notices or finds out just take your advice and tell them it's safe and I know what I am doing

thanks!!

 

[thisdelicatebalance]

It's embarrassing I know. My friends who are all size tens at uni think its a lazy way out but they are all on crash diets now to shift the revision extra pounds. I've put about 8 pounds on since revision n exams. I'm starting again today n going to continue through the summer. Sick of feeling depressed about my weight. Xxx

 

[ChellyWellyBoot]

A guy In my job today pulled me while I was making my shake and was asking all about it and he was being very patronising about it and told other people which started everyone else... Saying I may as well just buy a big tub of protein!! And my favourite line of all is to say...

I'm probably getting more of my daily required nutrients on this diet than I ever was with all my unhealthy eating!!

 

[jael001]

Wow how rude! Everyone seems to have an opinion on these diets, even when they know nothing about them. I'm definitely healthier doing this diet than I ever was eating what I was eating before.

 

[keelyjrs]

you could also point out the risks of obesity leading to diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease ans even some cancers...... telling someone who is overweight is like telling someone with a razor blade to their vein that there's no danger in getting hurt
Fortunately for me my mum and husband are totally behind me, and my best friend doesnt mzke any snotty comments anymore since I rattled on to her about the dangers of me staying obese lol