Step 1 Sole Source From Chunky Dunky to Fit & Fab - and all the bits inbetween!

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Hello All *waves*

God I never thought I'd be back blogging again about CWP - actually that's a lie I hoped and prayed I would but I really didn't know if I would ever have the balls to come back and admit that I absolutely fluffed up and have ended up heavier than I started. I turned back into everything I thought I had moved away from - but alas "Fat Lyndsey" found "Slimmer Lyndsey" and ate her lol
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So I guess I should update you all on what the F happened and how I've ended up back here.

So I started on CD in July 2013 and I lost 6 stone in 5 months - Great progress, and I felt like a million bucks. I had about 3.5 stones left to lose and was well on the way to getting there.

I got engaged to the love of my life and was on cloud 9. Dreams of wedding dresses in a size 10 where within my reach and I was the happiest I have ever been in my adult life.

After celebrating our engagement and a lovely Christmas with my family , I came back to London (I'm from Belfast) ready to tackle the last leg of my journey to goal. I was so motivated and was looking forward to my first post Xmas catch up with my Councillor. But then circumstances changed - we where trying to save for a wedding and I had some family stuff to help with so I found I could no longer justify the price tag that came with Cambridge. In fairness I wasn't thinking straight alot was going on so I just instantly agreed to give up the cost and go back to "normal eating".

At first I was afraid to eat -for the first month I was able to maintain my weight because I ate little meals and didn't snack. And then it all went wrong......

I spend about 7/8 months in a vicious yo- cycle of losing a stone then gaining 2, it was just a complete nightmare.

Then my world was flipped on its head when my daddy passed away suddenly in September. I had actually fallen out with him in the July over something so trivial and we didn't speak for a few months. I rang him on his birthday which was Sept 17th because I missed him, and I just didn't want the argument to continue. We spoke and laughed and we both apologized - and I told him I loved him and would ring him in a few days. He passed away in his sleep 5 days later. He was 49.

I was completely devastated - I got a phone call at work and just collapsed into tears. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I left work, the OH and I jumped on a flight home (I live and work in London, but I'm from Belfast) and I spent the next two weeks there, saying Goodbye to my Daddy and spending time with my family. My baby sister had just touched down in Oz that same morning - she was off on her travels for a year. We managed to convince her to stay in Oz as it's what Daddy would have wanted.

It was just a horrific horrible time for my family and if I am honest I am still grieving. I miss and cry for him everyday. I never thought he wouldn't be here, and now I feel like for the rest of my life I will have this massive piece of me missing. The thought of planning a wedding without my Daddy there is heartbreaking. He was so excited for me and Mark and for our future.

I've just been so sad - and when I'm sad I eat. Alot.

I've been trying to deal with his passing and have put myself 2nd. But now I need to start putting myself first. I deserve to be the best me I can be - and I won't get that by sitting on my behind eating.

So I got in contact with a new councillor (my old one doesn't do mobile visits anymore) and I'm 100% committed to seeing this through. I did it once before, I can do it again. Except this time I won't give up. I won't let anything get in my way of going for GOAL. I have such a fire in my belly for this - I cannot wait to get started.

I have a few engagements this week so haven't started yet - but I start on SS on Saturday and I cannot wait! I am so ready to get started and just get it done with already - bring it on!

So ....that's pretty much what's been going on with Lyndsey. Depressing isn't it? lol

I'll be blogging loads to keep myself busy especially in the first few weeks. I have actually managed to lose a stone myself in the last 3 weeks by going low carb - and shocker, I actually got into Ketosis! I was drinking Pepsi Max and eating fruit and still managed to get into it. It was lovely - I've missed the no Hunger. And it wasn't difficult to get into it, so I'm not worried at all about getting back into it on Cambridge. It will be absolutely fine.

I've cancelled my monthly travel-card which will save me £230 a month , and will instead be getting the bus from round the corner from my apartment (we have I.T offices here) that goes straight to my work for free. It's a great bus service - cosy and free wifi! Can't complain. It also means I can walk home from there in the evening - it's about 1.4 miles door to door but its free exercise I wouldn't be doing otherwise. I used to walk to and from there and it really helped with the weight loss - so my aim will be to walk both ways eventually but for now, it will probably just be home in the eve - at least until it gets a little warmer (and I get a little lighter lol).

I have in total 171lbs to lose - seems such a mammoth task, but I just have to keep thinking of the end goal and I know I'll get there.

I look forward to sharing the new chapter of my journey with you all.

If anyone wants to say hello - please do!

xx
 
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JulieH333

Full Member
S: 16st2.5lb C: 10st12.5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 27 Loss: 5st4lb(32.67%)
Thanks for sharing your story. So sorry about your dad. He was so young. I guess that puts things in perspective but will also drive you to live life to the full.

You sound so determined and positive! I can't wait to follow your progress. I am sure you'll have lots of advice as well, having done this before so successfully.

Good luck!!
 

LauraMcf

Full Member
Hey!

Firstly well done for coming back. I'm so sorry to hear of your dad, must have been an awful shock. Try to channel some of that energy into weight loss focus. We're all here if you need advice or support x
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Hello Lovelies,

Thanks for the replies and well wishes about my dad. Your right he was way too young to be taken - but I am determined not to follow in his footsteps. He had the works - diabetes which cost him his legs etc. I can't have that hanging over my head.

Been cutting back on food the last few days - definitely harder 2nd time around, but I'm buzzed to get my proper products on Saturday! Cannot wait to get my choco orange shakes - I love them! Roll on the SS Master Cleanse lol! Would love to be around 3 stone lighter by the end of the 12 weeks SS - fingers crossed!!

I've cancelled my travel-card and have been taking advantage of the free bus that runs to my work - I actually walked home from the place the bus drops off, to my house last night - not gonna lie, the walk used to be MUCH easier , but then again I was a good 7 stone lighter. God even saying that makes it sound so far away.

I've also got the small problem of my engagement ring being too tight - it's the most gorgeous diamond ring and I can't get it over my chubby fat sausage fingers without it being too uncomfortable. I long to wear it again and show the world "I have a fiance - someone is crazy enough to want to marry me lol" so that is another goal of mine - hoping after about 4 stone it will start to feel more comfortable.

Then there is the wedding dress itself - God I can't even begin to imagine trying my dress on until I'm at goal. And then I can't cheat and go backwards as my dress won't fit - Bridal Logic at it's best lol.

Anyways - I'll be blogging loads over the next few weeks - partly because I need a distraction in the evenings to stop myself from wanting food lol I don't usually have much going on in the evenings except cooking dinner and prepping food for the next day. Not having this to do will be lovely - but there is only so many bubble baths that a girl can take to pass the time lol.

I might just download a couple of new books onto my kindle to keep me busy - or re-read all about Mr Greys shenanigans again lol

Anyways - best log off and get some work done - these emails are not gonna answer themselves (unfortunately!)

Hope everyone has a great day!

xx
 

jo6526

Member
What a horrible year you've had. I can't begin to imagine what it was like losing your dad.

You seem to focused and that's inspiring! Good luck with your journey you're going to do amazingly x
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
thank you lovely - it's been a tough year, but I know he'd want me to do this for me. I'm determined that I'll finally get to goal in 2015!!!!
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Another day closer to starting the plan - eek getting excited now!

I'm a ball of emotions at the moment - but hoping once I have the diet ticked off (as it - not have to think/worry about it anymore) it will help me manage everything else.

I am a terrible worrier - I over-think everything and anything and live my life in one massive ball on anxiety. I don't cope well with change - but part of wonders if this is because a as fat person I feel ill equipped. Should my circumstances or anything around me change, I panic because I feel like I won't be able to cope. For example - if I lost my job tomorrow, I would be sick with worry over the thought of having to go to a job interview at my current weight in-case people judged me. I'm hoping loosing the weight for once and for all will help with this.

I am currently undergoing tests as well for TLE (Temporal Lobe Epilepsy) I've had deja vu episodes for nearly 10 years now and have never been able to get a diagnosis on what causes them. EEG on Monday (MRI was last week) so fingers crossed at the end of all of this , I have some answers.

I'm so excited to get started on plan on Saturday - we're going to have an easy breezy weekend as I know I won't feel up to doing much, next week will be a bit of a struggle as I get into ketosis but I'll take it easy. I won't overdo anything and hopefully by Weds at the latest I'll start to feel energized and less irritable. I actually found ketosis lovely last time around - the no hunger was a massive thing for me, it was so new (I think I was born starving lol) and I loved the feeling of being in control.

I am a control freak at everything else in life except my diet and weight. Strange huh? I guess I give so much energy to my job that when it comes to my diet and health I feel I have little left. Not this time though - I WILL BE IN CONTROL!

I'm going to Spain for a hen weekend in May and I'd love to be about 3 and a half stone lighter by then (ok that's a lie I'd love to be 4 stone lighter lol) but I'll take each week as it comes and see what happens. I've then got the wedding in July for which I would LOVE to be 5 stone lighter. Finally by Xmas Day I would love to be at goal. Big stretch but once I get the initial weight off , I want to start running (and will need to move up steps accordingly to have enough energy to do so) to help get my fitness levels up as well.

It's going to be a fun couple of months - can't wait to get started!!!

xx
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Well I'm officially on plan - whooo!

Had my first weigh in today - I managed to lose 1/2lb from last week so that's always a bonus lol. I've got all my products for this week - I've already had one of my soups for lunch, and I've got my tetras in the fridge chilling for my 4pm "meal". Soup will finish off the day around 8pm and that will be me for the day.

I've had all my measurements taken and set my goal weight - 10 stone, which means I have exactly 161lbs to lose - seems scary but I'm ready to be at goal by the end of the year!

Quiet day today - hopefully the next few days are nice and calm and I can rest up and get ready for ketosis!

Have a great saturday everyone! xxx
 

sarahbr

Full Member
S: 17st10lb C: 14st12lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 33.6 Loss: 2st12lb(16.13%)
Good luck! I'm starting on Monday, so will follow along with you!
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
thanks hun - we can keep each other motivated! good luck! xxx
 

stuffed

Member
Well I'm officially on plan - whooo!

Had my first weigh in today - I managed to lose 1/2lb from last week so that's always a bonus lol. I've got all my products for this week - I've already had one of my soups for lunch, and I've got my tetras in the fridge chilling for my 4pm "meal". Soup will finish off the day around 8pm and that will be me for the day.

I've had all my measurements taken and set my goal weight - 10 stone, which means I have exactly 161lbs to lose - seems scary but I'm ready to be at goal by the end of the year!

Quiet day today - hopefully the next few days are nice and calm and I can rest up and get ready for ketosis!

Have a great saturday everyone! xxx

Good luck in a newbie too ❤️


Starting weight 10.12lbs
 

Nicbec

Member
Hello Lyndsey

firstly I'm sorry to hear of your sad loss. Like you I have lost a lot of weight before only to put it back on and more. I recently had two babies within 13 months of each other, I had gestational diabetes and had to take insulin daily, again I just seem to have got bigger. I have read your blog and so many things rang true in my own head. I really must do everything I can to make sure I do not get diabetes and am here for as long as I can be to take care of my children.

I began Cambridge on Monday and have resisted the urge to weigh myself, because of my BMI I do have to have some milk daily but it's no big deal. Keep posting xx
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Hello Lyndsey

firstly I'm sorry to hear of your sad loss. Like you I have lost a lot of weight before only to put it back on and more. I recently had two babies within 13 months of each other, I had gestational diabetes and had to take insulin daily, again I just seem to have got bigger. I have read your blog and so many things rang true in my own head. I really must do everything I can to make sure I do not get diabetes and am here for as long as I can be to take care of my children.

I began Cambridge on Monday and have resisted the urge to weigh myself, because of my BMI I do have to have some milk daily but it's no big deal. Keep posting xx

Thanks for your kind words hun - it was the biggest wake up call for me that I have to start taking care of myself. We can do this hun ❤️❤️
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Day 3 on plan and I am a raging b**** lol. I am in such a bad mood today - I have no idea why (except lack of food), I think I am just really overtired and emotional.

Yesterday was quite rough - I was in bed for most of the day with a banging headache, I got up to have my soups etc but aside from that I was sleeping like a baby. The headache finally subsided about half 7 and I managed to get out of bed for an hour. I was back in there and fast asleep before 10pm right through to 7am this morning. And even then I struggled to get up lol.


Today hasn't been too bad - no headaches as of yet which is nice but the tiredness is still kicking my ass. Hoping it shifts by Wed's and I wake up in a lovely state of ketosis <3


SP on the scales earlier and there is actually a 20 in front of my weight already....... very nice progress indeed but will wait until Saturday for the official verdict. Trying to keep my water intake up - I'll be honest today it hasn't been great today but I'm working on it. I've just downed a 500ml bottle and have another one in front of me.


I caved and had some coke zero earlier - honestly though it was coke zero or deep fried pretzels lol. I was in Hammersmith station and the smell of the fresh pretzels where making me want to cry lol. What can I say... I'm a sucker for anything deep fried lol.


But I need to think of the end goal - and the wedding dress I will eventually have to choose and fit into. I cannot even begin to think about wedding planning - i think I have the "bride" gene missing, I just cannot be bothered to organise the wedding at all. It's nothing bu stressful and I'd rather take a nap lol. I love my OH to bits, and I cannot wait to be his wife, but I just cannot deal with the stress of a wedding. Our current plan is to take his family and my family and spend a week in the sun somewhere with a very low key ceremony and dinner afterwards. No speeches, no first dance, just us and our family having fun.


Anyways - I should get off here and get some last minute bits done for work tomorrow. Work is crazy busy at the moment - at least not having to think about my diet, frees up some time to focus on work. This wedding ain't gonna pay for itself.


L xxx
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Day 4 on plan and I finally feel AMAZING!!!

Woke up today bright eyed , rejected the OH's offer to have an extra 1/2 hour in bed and get the train to work instead , was ready and out the door in 20 minutes. Record for me.... :)

Slept for 1/2 on the free bus to work - was lovely, the sun was just coming up over London. Beautiful.

I've got a busy day ahead at work - lots of meetings but I'll be fine, I've gotten through my tantrums of yesterday lol (I was a nightmare) and I feel so much better. I just feel like my mind has settled, I free much more relaxed and calm today. I hope the OH hasn't slipped me something lol.

Had my chocolate tetra for breakfast and that will keep me going until lunch which will be at 12pm - soup again. I am obsessed with the Oriental Chilli soup - I prefer them so much more to the shakes, I feel like I am having "proper" food. I am going to only order soups next week with the exception of 2 chocolate tetra's for the weekend - I like to semi freeze them and have them as chocolate ice cream for a treat lol.

Hoping for a really decent number on the scales this week - I need a boost to just keep my head in the game for week 2. Although I have to admit after getting through the first 3 days I already feel miles better. I was struggling to keep myself motivated the last two days but today I have no doubts - I know I can do this.

Roll on Saturdays' WI!!

xxx
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
And we have a reason for being a raging b***h yesterday - period arrived today. WAHAY!

On CWP last time, I used to get my period for 10 days, have a 3 day break and then it would be back again. OH wasn't best pleased as you can imagine but he was more worried about me - it made me so tired.

Really hoping this time around it's not the same - nightmare!

Still fighting fit today - feeling content and happy. Work has been surprisingly fun today - stressful but I dunno, I just feel happier. Hoping that this stays - it makes work so much easier when I feel comfortable and happy in myself.

Roll on Day 5!
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Day 5 on plan - nothing major to update except I slept like a baby last night. Was tucked up in bed by half 9 and asleep shortly after, and that was me right through until this morning - happy days indeed! I feel proper well rested (even though I had a small nap on the way to work also lol).

Still loving the products - I've literally bulk ordered the oriental chilli for next week - and a couple of tetras. I'm a creature of habit - and I like what I like.

Excited for my WI on Saturday - I keep SP on the scales (I know I shouldn't) and it seems to be moving downwards a little each day. Consultants scales are slightly different so hoping that I'm not too disappointed on Sat. I would absolutely love a 7lb loss - but not sure how realistic that is.

I guess time will tell.....

Have a great day all

xx
 

lyndseyb1987

Full Member
S: 22st10lb C: 19st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 2st12lb(12.58%)
Day 6 on plan - still cracking on.

No major issues to update - so far been pretty ok. No headaches after the first 2 days - and the scales seem to be showing a definite loss which is good.

I've been sleeping like a baby and my concentration at work (blogging aside lol) has been pretty good - feeling very optimistic and hopeful that the next few weeks will be the same and before I know it, it will be week 7 or 8.

I finish my first SS stint two weeks before I go to Spain for the henparty. I am due to have food week the week before, but I might ask if I can do 13 weeks on SS and have my food week while I am in Spain. I'm already planning on taking my bars for breakfast and possibly a couple of soups - we have paid all inclusive , but I'm really not going to abuse that. Probably for drinks more than food as I always eat way less on holiday. I'm not a massive fan of alcohol and can get by on a night out on just soft drinks so the booze element really won't bother me. I'll have a couple (I'm on hols after all lol) but I won't go off the deep end. I'm not going on the hen party to party hard - I hardly know the girl who's party it is anyways (she's my cousins fiancee).

I'm only going because - well my auntie and mum where meant to go, but then mum wasn't sure about leaving dad on his own for 4 days so she said she wouldn't be going. I had offered to go and stay with him but she doesn't like to put anyone out. But obviously after his passing - this wasn't an issue anymore. So a few days after the funeral, me and my bro put our feet down and insisted she was going.

Problem was - everyone had already booked. So I said I'd go with her (we're all on the same flight anyways) so she has company for the room etc. I'm quite looking forward to it, just to lie in the sun and chill for 4 days!

Before then I've got to try and sort my flat situation out. We live in a lovely apartment just outside London (West Drayton) its a new build with everything we need and a lovely gym on site (you'd think it would be motivation to go - but no lol) and we've been here for 2 years. We are due to renew but our landlords hasn't come back yet (well the landlord via the letting agent) and I'm getting nervous. We'd need £3000 just to move (London rental prices + deposit) and we don't have that right now. The OH is pretty certain we'll be able to stay here although I do think they'll put the rent up again - which to be honest I don't mind, anything to stay here.

But I'm a worrier and I'm petrified that we'll end up having to move and it will be a real struggle. And right before I am due to go on holiday :cry:

I don't handle stress well - I'm naturally a very anxious person, and the thought of this all happening at once gives me such a sick feeling. I need medication lol.

I just want an answer! I hate waiting - I'm impatient!! *stamps foot!!*

Anyways I've rambled on enough now - off to have my oriental chilli soup and check my emails!

xx
 




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