lyndseyb1987
Full Member
Hello All *waves*
God I never thought I'd be back blogging again about CWP - actually that's a lie I hoped and prayed I would but I really didn't know if I would ever have the balls to come back and admit that I absolutely fluffed up and have ended up heavier than I started. I turned back into everything I thought I had moved away from - but alas "Fat Lyndsey" found "Slimmer Lyndsey" and ate her lol
So I guess I should update you all on what the F happened and how I've ended up back here.
So I started on CD in July 2013 and I lost 6 stone in 5 months - Great progress, and I felt like a million bucks. I had about 3.5 stones left to lose and was well on the way to getting there.
I got engaged to the love of my life and was on cloud 9. Dreams of wedding dresses in a size 10 where within my reach and I was the happiest I have ever been in my adult life.
After celebrating our engagement and a lovely Christmas with my family , I came back to London (I'm from Belfast) ready to tackle the last leg of my journey to goal. I was so motivated and was looking forward to my first post Xmas catch up with my Councillor. But then circumstances changed - we where trying to save for a wedding and I had some family stuff to help with so I found I could no longer justify the price tag that came with Cambridge. In fairness I wasn't thinking straight alot was going on so I just instantly agreed to give up the cost and go back to "normal eating".
At first I was afraid to eat -for the first month I was able to maintain my weight because I ate little meals and didn't snack. And then it all went wrong......
I spend about 7/8 months in a vicious yo- cycle of losing a stone then gaining 2, it was just a complete nightmare.
Then my world was flipped on its head when my daddy passed away suddenly in September. I had actually fallen out with him in the July over something so trivial and we didn't speak for a few months. I rang him on his birthday which was Sept 17th because I missed him, and I just didn't want the argument to continue. We spoke and laughed and we both apologized - and I told him I loved him and would ring him in a few days. He passed away in his sleep 5 days later. He was 49.
I was completely devastated - I got a phone call at work and just collapsed into tears. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I left work, the OH and I jumped on a flight home (I live and work in London, but I'm from Belfast) and I spent the next two weeks there, saying Goodbye to my Daddy and spending time with my family. My baby sister had just touched down in Oz that same morning - she was off on her travels for a year. We managed to convince her to stay in Oz as it's what Daddy would have wanted.
It was just a horrific horrible time for my family and if I am honest I am still grieving. I miss and cry for him everyday. I never thought he wouldn't be here, and now I feel like for the rest of my life I will have this massive piece of me missing. The thought of planning a wedding without my Daddy there is heartbreaking. He was so excited for me and Mark and for our future.
I've just been so sad - and when I'm sad I eat. Alot.
I've been trying to deal with his passing and have put myself 2nd. But now I need to start putting myself first. I deserve to be the best me I can be - and I won't get that by sitting on my behind eating.
So I got in contact with a new councillor (my old one doesn't do mobile visits anymore) and I'm 100% committed to seeing this through. I did it once before, I can do it again. Except this time I won't give up. I won't let anything get in my way of going for GOAL. I have such a fire in my belly for this - I cannot wait to get started.
I have a few engagements this week so haven't started yet - but I start on SS on Saturday and I cannot wait! I am so ready to get started and just get it done with already - bring it on!
So ....that's pretty much what's been going on with Lyndsey. Depressing isn't it? lol
I'll be blogging loads to keep myself busy especially in the first few weeks. I have actually managed to lose a stone myself in the last 3 weeks by going low carb - and shocker, I actually got into Ketosis! I was drinking Pepsi Max and eating fruit and still managed to get into it. It was lovely - I've missed the no Hunger. And it wasn't difficult to get into it, so I'm not worried at all about getting back into it on Cambridge. It will be absolutely fine.
I've cancelled my monthly travel-card which will save me £230 a month , and will instead be getting the bus from round the corner from my apartment (we have I.T offices here) that goes straight to my work for free. It's a great bus service - cosy and free wifi! Can't complain. It also means I can walk home from there in the evening - it's about 1.4 miles door to door but its free exercise I wouldn't be doing otherwise. I used to walk to and from there and it really helped with the weight loss - so my aim will be to walk both ways eventually but for now, it will probably just be home in the eve - at least until it gets a little warmer (and I get a little lighter lol).
I have in total 171lbs to lose - seems such a mammoth task, but I just have to keep thinking of the end goal and I know I'll get there.
I look forward to sharing the new chapter of my journey with you all.
If anyone wants to say hello - please do!
xx
God I never thought I'd be back blogging again about CWP - actually that's a lie I hoped and prayed I would but I really didn't know if I would ever have the balls to come back and admit that I absolutely fluffed up and have ended up heavier than I started. I turned back into everything I thought I had moved away from - but alas "Fat Lyndsey" found "Slimmer Lyndsey" and ate her lol
So I guess I should update you all on what the F happened and how I've ended up back here.
So I started on CD in July 2013 and I lost 6 stone in 5 months - Great progress, and I felt like a million bucks. I had about 3.5 stones left to lose and was well on the way to getting there.
I got engaged to the love of my life and was on cloud 9. Dreams of wedding dresses in a size 10 where within my reach and I was the happiest I have ever been in my adult life.
After celebrating our engagement and a lovely Christmas with my family , I came back to London (I'm from Belfast) ready to tackle the last leg of my journey to goal. I was so motivated and was looking forward to my first post Xmas catch up with my Councillor. But then circumstances changed - we where trying to save for a wedding and I had some family stuff to help with so I found I could no longer justify the price tag that came with Cambridge. In fairness I wasn't thinking straight alot was going on so I just instantly agreed to give up the cost and go back to "normal eating".
At first I was afraid to eat -for the first month I was able to maintain my weight because I ate little meals and didn't snack. And then it all went wrong......
I spend about 7/8 months in a vicious yo- cycle of losing a stone then gaining 2, it was just a complete nightmare.
Then my world was flipped on its head when my daddy passed away suddenly in September. I had actually fallen out with him in the July over something so trivial and we didn't speak for a few months. I rang him on his birthday which was Sept 17th because I missed him, and I just didn't want the argument to continue. We spoke and laughed and we both apologized - and I told him I loved him and would ring him in a few days. He passed away in his sleep 5 days later. He was 49.
I was completely devastated - I got a phone call at work and just collapsed into tears. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I left work, the OH and I jumped on a flight home (I live and work in London, but I'm from Belfast) and I spent the next two weeks there, saying Goodbye to my Daddy and spending time with my family. My baby sister had just touched down in Oz that same morning - she was off on her travels for a year. We managed to convince her to stay in Oz as it's what Daddy would have wanted.
It was just a horrific horrible time for my family and if I am honest I am still grieving. I miss and cry for him everyday. I never thought he wouldn't be here, and now I feel like for the rest of my life I will have this massive piece of me missing. The thought of planning a wedding without my Daddy there is heartbreaking. He was so excited for me and Mark and for our future.
I've just been so sad - and when I'm sad I eat. Alot.
I've been trying to deal with his passing and have put myself 2nd. But now I need to start putting myself first. I deserve to be the best me I can be - and I won't get that by sitting on my behind eating.
So I got in contact with a new councillor (my old one doesn't do mobile visits anymore) and I'm 100% committed to seeing this through. I did it once before, I can do it again. Except this time I won't give up. I won't let anything get in my way of going for GOAL. I have such a fire in my belly for this - I cannot wait to get started.
I have a few engagements this week so haven't started yet - but I start on SS on Saturday and I cannot wait! I am so ready to get started and just get it done with already - bring it on!
So ....that's pretty much what's been going on with Lyndsey. Depressing isn't it? lol
I'll be blogging loads to keep myself busy especially in the first few weeks. I have actually managed to lose a stone myself in the last 3 weeks by going low carb - and shocker, I actually got into Ketosis! I was drinking Pepsi Max and eating fruit and still managed to get into it. It was lovely - I've missed the no Hunger. And it wasn't difficult to get into it, so I'm not worried at all about getting back into it on Cambridge. It will be absolutely fine.
I've cancelled my monthly travel-card which will save me £230 a month , and will instead be getting the bus from round the corner from my apartment (we have I.T offices here) that goes straight to my work for free. It's a great bus service - cosy and free wifi! Can't complain. It also means I can walk home from there in the evening - it's about 1.4 miles door to door but its free exercise I wouldn't be doing otherwise. I used to walk to and from there and it really helped with the weight loss - so my aim will be to walk both ways eventually but for now, it will probably just be home in the eve - at least until it gets a little warmer (and I get a little lighter lol).
I have in total 171lbs to lose - seems such a mammoth task, but I just have to keep thinking of the end goal and I know I'll get there.
I look forward to sharing the new chapter of my journey with you all.
If anyone wants to say hello - please do!
xx