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have offended someone and really cannot understand how?

Fatty_no_more

Slimming for my children
#1
BAsically i was quite friendly with a girl at work, and then i went on maternity and she knitted me a really sweet jumper for my son and i sent her a thank you card and then when i bought him into work i let her hold him etc and then i have been back three days and she has ignored me. I went to email her on facebook but shes deleted me. I have no idea what i have done and have text her to ask what it is and no reply.

I have to work with her and really dont know what to do i really liked her too.
x
 
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S: 11st3.5lb C: 9st6.5lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 22 Loss: 1st11lb(15.87%)
#2
Well, the only way to find out is to do what you've done and try to talk to her. Probably just some misunderstanding I bet.

You would think she'd take the time to reply to your text as you were friendly. You may have to speak to her face to face which is something I'd find difficult - I'm no good at confrontation :eek:

Hope you get it sorted out.
 

Fatty_no_more

Slimming for my children
#3
no i am no good at confruntation either and i was even shaking writing the text. just really cannot understand wat i did wrong? not even seen her in months! x
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
S: 10st4lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 27.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#4
What a hard one!! As if going back to work isn't going to be stressful and emotional enough as it is.

With the facebook thing, try not to take this personally as more and more people seem to be making the decision to have a smaller circle of their friends on there.

I think it would be best to try to speak to her face to face, and explain that you have been worried because she seems to be ignoring you, and that her friendship is important to you. Probably the longer the situation goes on, the harder it will be to do this.

Try not to take it too personally. People can be odd. I'm sure that you can't have done anything to warrant her treating you like this, as you WOULD have remembered!!! Unless it's a complete misunderstanding, or someone has told her you said / did something you didn't, it sounds like she's treating you quite badly.

xx
 
S: 11st3.5lb C: 9st6.5lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 22 Loss: 1st11lb(15.87%)
#5
Lucky's right - you sound like a caring person so would know if you have done something that even possibly could have upset her. You need to try to talk to her, even if you don't get anywhere at least you won't be left wondering if you should have done something.
 
S: 9st11lb C: 8st9lb G: 8st9lb BMI: 22.1 Loss: 1st2lb(11.68%)
#6
I also don't like confrontation, what I would do is ask somebody else at work if they know what you could have done to upset her.

When you went in did your son wear the outfit she knitted? If not maybe it's something as simple as that.

Otherwise I'm baffled.
 

Fatty_no_more

Slimming for my children
#7
no he didnt wear it at all as the arms were too small but we have it still and treasure it.
i dont really want to get other people involved as her prob is with me. and yea she was trying for a bubba in fact i gave her my old opks!!
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
S: 10st4lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 27.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#9
Oh honey - NO, you wouldn't seem like a stalker!
You still have to work with her, and one minute you're good work pals and she's knitting you clothes for your baby, and then when you come back she won't talk to you!! You deserve an explanation. To be frank, unless you've done something really bad, she's behaving in an unprofessional way if nothing else. It can't go on like this, can it!

Don't think of it as a confrontation. More of an explanation of your feelings. You can even phrase it in an apologetic way if you prefer. Eg. " Could we just have a chat please? I feel like I must have done something to upset you, because you seem so distant. Whatever it is, I really am sorry if I've upset you. Could we try to get back to how we were before I went off on maternity because I really do value our friendship you know..."

My best pal at my old job (we've both left now) seemed to be ignoring me for a few days and I worried myself sick about it. It turned out that she had stress and had been put on anti-depressants which has turned her into a zombie-head. Thankfully she stopped taking them after a little while, but it just shows, there might be some bizarre reason for her behaviour.

Good luck xx
 

Fatty_no_more

Slimming for my children
#10
i will give it a go but it was really nerve wracking sending that text. i will see her tonoight aswell and she will have recievd the text and there will be other people around i dont want to involve other people either?
x
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
S: 10st4lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 27.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#11
Good luck - All you can do is wait for a quiet moment. Let us know how you get on xx
 

Lexie_dog

UNLEASHING THE BEAST!
S: 15st12.5lb C: 15st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st3.5lb(1.57%)
#13
Hope it goes well, even I'm intrigued now.
 

fillymum

synful soul
S: 107kg C: 85kg G: 79kg BMI: 33.2 Loss: 22kg(20.56%)
#15
You know FNM at times I used to be absolutely paranoid about peoples reactions to me. I often wondered what I had done to upset someone. The longer I live the less I understand people but have learnt to sit back and let events unfold themselves.

In all probability she had other things on her mind. Things that to her far out weighed the pleasure of seeing you again. You have no idea what is going on in her life either at work or at home.

I managed to train myself not to get concerned especially when like you in this case you know without doubt that you have done nothing to be worried about.

I agree about Face book. That is nothing to go by. I hate Face book and have cut down the amount of people in my friends. One reason is I can not be bothered with most of the rubbish you get from and about people you have no idea about and those I haven't either been in touch with or heard from for over 6 months.

We can often make incidents add up to something completely wrong, so stop your fretting. If what I have seen of you on here is anything to go by you are a very nice, pleasant and caring person that anyone would be proud to call a friend.
 
#16
yea she was trying for a bubba in fact i gave her my old opks!!

I wonder if this is the clue...

Im guessing as she was trying and she still isn't pg, that perhaps your return from mat leave might have unsettled her a bit. It can be VERY hard going for those TTC to see and hear about others who have been successful. Thats not to say she's not happy for you, but maybe shes a teensy bit jealous too and is finding it hard to work out how shes feeling about your return.

Just a thought, and something to consider.
 

tarka

Full Member
G: 10st10lb
#18
Suggest a cuppa and a catch up chat during your break at work. I'm sure it's just a case that she's culled her friends on FB a little :)
 
#19
dont worry honey - the fact she has text you back seems positive!!!

I would take her to one side and explain how you feel/felt - see if there is something going on you dont know about.....and sometimes people take themselves off facebook - so dont be too concerned about that either babe xxx
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
S: 10st4lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 27.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#20
Sounds like it's okay - at least she texted back x
 


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