have offended someone and really cannot understand how?

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by Fatty_no_more, 18 August 2010 Social URL.

  1. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    BAsically i was quite friendly with a girl at work, and then i went on maternity and she knitted me a really sweet jumper for my son and i sent her a thank you card and then when i bought him into work i let her hold him etc and then i have been back three days and she has ignored me. I went to email her on facebook but shes deleted me. I have no idea what i have done and have text her to ask what it is and no reply.

    I have to work with her and really dont know what to do i really liked her too.
    x
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. Nut_Brown_Hare

    Nut_Brown_Hare Did it!

    Posts:
    214
    Likes Received:
    8
    Start Weight:
    11st3.5lb
    Current Weight:
    9st6.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st11lb(15.87%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Well, the only way to find out is to do what you've done and try to talk to her. Probably just some misunderstanding I bet.

    You would think she'd take the time to reply to your text as you were friendly. You may have to speak to her face to face which is something I'd find difficult - I'm no good at confrontation :eek:

    Hope you get it sorted out.
     
  4. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    no i am no good at confruntation either and i was even shaking writing the text. just really cannot understand wat i did wrong? not even seen her in months! x
     
  5. Lucky7

    Lucky7 Gold Member

    Posts:
    2,522
    Likes Received:
    26
    Start Weight:
    10st4lb
    Current Weight:
    10st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    What a hard one!! As if going back to work isn't going to be stressful and emotional enough as it is.

    With the facebook thing, try not to take this personally as more and more people seem to be making the decision to have a smaller circle of their friends on there.

    I think it would be best to try to speak to her face to face, and explain that you have been worried because she seems to be ignoring you, and that her friendship is important to you. Probably the longer the situation goes on, the harder it will be to do this.

    Try not to take it too personally. People can be odd. I'm sure that you can't have done anything to warrant her treating you like this, as you WOULD have remembered!!! Unless it's a complete misunderstanding, or someone has told her you said / did something you didn't, it sounds like she's treating you quite badly.

    xx
     
  6. Nut_Brown_Hare

    Nut_Brown_Hare Did it!

    Posts:
    214
    Likes Received:
    8
    Start Weight:
    11st3.5lb
    Current Weight:
    9st6.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st11lb(15.87%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Lucky's right - you sound like a caring person so would know if you have done something that even possibly could have upset her. You need to try to talk to her, even if you don't get anywhere at least you won't be left wondering if you should have done something.
     
  7. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

    Posts:
    18,581
    Likes Received:
    131
    Start Weight:
    9st11lb
    Current Weight:
    8st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st9lb
    Lost(%):
    1st2lb(11.68%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I also don't like confrontation, what I would do is ask somebody else at work if they know what you could have done to upset her.

    When you went in did your son wear the outfit she knitted? If not maybe it's something as simple as that.

    Otherwise I'm baffled.
     
  8. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    no he didnt wear it at all as the arms were too small but we have it still and treasure it.
    i dont really want to get other people involved as her prob is with me. and yea she was trying for a bubba in fact i gave her my old opks!!
     
  9. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    wouldnt i seem like a stalker if i keep trying to find out what i have done?
    x
     
  10. Lucky7

    Lucky7 Gold Member

    Posts:
    2,522
    Likes Received:
    26
    Start Weight:
    10st4lb
    Current Weight:
    10st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Oh honey - NO, you wouldn't seem like a stalker!
    You still have to work with her, and one minute you're good work pals and she's knitting you clothes for your baby, and then when you come back she won't talk to you!! You deserve an explanation. To be frank, unless you've done something really bad, she's behaving in an unprofessional way if nothing else. It can't go on like this, can it!

    Don't think of it as a confrontation. More of an explanation of your feelings. You can even phrase it in an apologetic way if you prefer. Eg. " Could we just have a chat please? I feel like I must have done something to upset you, because you seem so distant. Whatever it is, I really am sorry if I've upset you. Could we try to get back to how we were before I went off on maternity because I really do value our friendship you know..."

    My best pal at my old job (we've both left now) seemed to be ignoring me for a few days and I worried myself sick about it. It turned out that she had stress and had been put on anti-depressants which has turned her into a zombie-head. Thankfully she stopped taking them after a little while, but it just shows, there might be some bizarre reason for her behaviour.

    Good luck xx
     
  11. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    i will give it a go but it was really nerve wracking sending that text. i will see her tonoight aswell and she will have recievd the text and there will be other people around i dont want to involve other people either?
    x
     
  12. Lucky7

    Lucky7 Gold Member

    Posts:
    2,522
    Likes Received:
    26
    Start Weight:
    10st4lb
    Current Weight:
    10st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Good luck - All you can do is wait for a quiet moment. Let us know how you get on xx
     
  13. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    yea will be on here tonight anyway in my break no doubt. xxxx
     
  14. Lexie_dog

    Lexie_dog UNLEASHING THE BEAST!

    Posts:
    3,741
    Likes Received:
    109
    Start Weight:
    15st12.5lb
    Current Weight:
    15st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st3.5lb(1.57%)
    Diet:
    SW, minimal bread!
    Hope it goes well, even I'm intrigued now.
     
  15. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    she just text bk say no not at all hun xxxx


    odd!
     
  16. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

    Posts:
    8,316
    Likes Received:
    161
    Start Weight:
    107kg
    Current Weight:
    85kg
    Goal Weight:
    79kg
    Lost(%):
    22kg(20.56%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    You know FNM at times I used to be absolutely paranoid about peoples reactions to me. I often wondered what I had done to upset someone. The longer I live the less I understand people but have learnt to sit back and let events unfold themselves.

    In all probability she had other things on her mind. Things that to her far out weighed the pleasure of seeing you again. You have no idea what is going on in her life either at work or at home.

    I managed to train myself not to get concerned especially when like you in this case you know without doubt that you have done nothing to be worried about.

    I agree about Face book. That is nothing to go by. I hate Face book and have cut down the amount of people in my friends. One reason is I can not be bothered with most of the rubbish you get from and about people you have no idea about and those I haven't either been in touch with or heard from for over 6 months.

    We can often make incidents add up to something completely wrong, so stop your fretting. If what I have seen of you on here is anything to go by you are a very nice, pleasant and caring person that anyone would be proud to call a friend.
     
    1 person likes this.
  17. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,109
    Likes Received:
    216

    I wonder if this is the clue...

    Im guessing as she was trying and she still isn't pg, that perhaps your return from mat leave might have unsettled her a bit. It can be VERY hard going for those TTC to see and hear about others who have been successful. Thats not to say she's not happy for you, but maybe shes a teensy bit jealous too and is finding it hard to work out how shes feeling about your return.

    Just a thought, and something to consider.
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

    Posts:
    4,429
    Likes Received:
    48
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    no she is preg lol 5 months in fact? mayber just shy?
     
  20. tarka

    tarka Full Member

    Posts:
    254
    Likes Received:
    1
    Goal Weight:
    10st10lb
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Suggest a cuppa and a catch up chat during your break at work. I'm sure it's just a case that she's culled her friends on FB a little :)
     
  21. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

    Posts:
    10,465
    Likes Received:
    205
    dont worry honey - the fact she has text you back seems positive!!!

    I would take her to one side and explain how you feel/felt - see if there is something going on you dont know about.....and sometimes people take themselves off facebook - so dont be too concerned about that either babe xxx
     
  22. Lucky7

    Lucky7 Gold Member

    Posts:
    2,522
    Likes Received:
    26
    Start Weight:
    10st4lb
    Current Weight:
    10st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Sounds like it's okay - at least she texted back x
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...