Hello, I'm New! (And I talk too much!)

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Yorkshire_Pudding, 23 August 2011 Social URL.

  1. Yorkshire_Pudding

    Yorkshire_Pudding Member

    Posts:
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    Start Weight:
    20st0lb
    Current Weight:
    19st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    15st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st2lb(0.71%)
    So I am 26, female and 5'11. I weigh 20 stone (exactly!) and am a size 24. :(

    I've always been big: in high school I crash dieted and dropped to a size 14 (which doesn't sound that slim but it was for my frame...) but then, of course, put all the weight back on. Then I felt helpless and just kept piling the weight back on and didn't notice/ignored how huge I was getting.

    My weight is affecting my health in some ways, although not others. I had a GP appointment for something minor last week and he took my blood pressure and heart rate and these are suprisingly normal. But I am VERY unfit. I sweat loads! Ha ha GROSS but I do! I also think I have symptoms of Polycistic Ovaries and know weight loss is the best way to help this...

    I developed awful bingeing habits, and feel sad that I wasted my best years being fat and miserable and binge-eating. When I was at uni, I didn't make that many friends and so I mostly smoked lots of weed and got even more anti-social and ate loads. I used to go to the supermarket at night, in secret and spend, like, £20 in one go on junk, then sit in my room getting high and stuffing myself. ONE TIME!, I actually bought myself a birthday cake! Eurgh! I remember being quite pleased, though, cos I thought the cashier on the check-out would think less that I was a disgusting loser and more that the junk food I was buying was for a party. :rolleyes:

    Crikey, this has turned very 'On The Couch' confessional!

    So yes, the weight has just crept on and on over the last 10 years or so. I feel like I've just woken up and realised I'm HUGE and that's not really such a bad thing if you're happy in yourself but it makes me deeply, deeply unhappy. I would count myself as a radical feminist (!) and I see a huge amount of gender inequality in the world - and a huge part of that is the way women are judged on their appearance and men on their achievements. I am fully aware that my desire to be slim and desirable is feeding into a system I hate. But I'm so unhappy being fat that I am unwilling to be a martyr for the cause of 'refusing to care how I look'. Because I do!!

    And being fat makes me avoid social situations, etc. This makes me lonely and miserable. This makes me eat. This makes me fatter. This makes me avoid social situations. This makes me lonely and... so on!

    I'm not sure what clicked for me over the weekend and I HOPE this time it's for real! I went to the pub on Friday and wanted to DIE when the barman told me he didn't serve fat lasses. On Saturday I felt too ill to do my usual ALMIGHTY hangover binge. And on Sunday I thought... Can you keep this up?

    I also have a friendship which really soured since she got with this horrid man who disapproves of all her friends and had a baby with him and became a complete stranger. Things have become very passive-aggressive between us and over the last year or so I have felt so resentful and sad and angry about what has happened to our relationship. On Saturday, she posted a passive-aggressive Facebook status aimed at me, that usually would make me depressed all day (and EAT). Instead, I unfriended her. I've felt like a real weight has been lifted and I know it sounds pathetic, but I felt empowered!

    And I am a teacher who has been unemployed for nearly a year. THAT has made me SUPER-depressed, poor and lonely. I'm 26 and still living with my parents, still asking for bus fare! And my eating has gone even further bananas. I usually wait until everyone has gone to bed and sneak downstairs and get huge bowls of ice cream, whole packets of biscuits, etc. This weekend I decided: IF YOU WANT A LIFE, YOU HAVE TO GO AND GET IT!

    IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF YORKSHIRE AND MOVE TO LONDON, YOU HAVE TO GO AND GET IT!

    IF YOU WANT A RELATIONSHIP, YOU HAVE TO GO AND GET IT!

    IF YOU WANT FRIENDS AND FUN, YOU HAVE TO GO AND GET IT! :cool:

    I now have a one year plan which involves securing a teaching job in London and losing at least 5 stone. Oh, and growing my hair and learning a new language. Lol.

    I have a new SmartPhone with a calorie counter app and have been inputting everything into that. Writing down what I eat makes it real - it isn't "just" chocolate, it's 300 calories.

    On Sunday I consumed 860 calories and yesterday 710. So far today I have had 369. I'm not starving myself: I don't have the willpower! Every day I've had a huge bowl of Alpen with fruit and soya milk. I'm vegetarian so that makes it easy to count calories - last night for my tea I had a fillet of Quorn chicken with a ton of salad and humous. I snack INCESSANTLY and last night it was late but I didn't want this diet to feel like a punishment because that will make me quit, so I did allow myself a snack at about 11pm - I had a big bowl of 100g watermelon with 75g cucumber (41 calories!!?). Yesterday I even had a G&T. :eek:

    In true Bridget Jones style, I weighed myself 3x yesterday and have already weighed in today. ALWAYS 20 STONE!! So impatient to see a result!!

    And I know that results are going to be slow - that's why I looked for an online forum to share with others, get ideas and feel like I'm doing this WITH people. Wow, isn't this the longest post ever?! Sorry!

    Pud x
     
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  3. Yorkshire_Pudding

    Yorkshire_Pudding Member

    Posts:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    20st0lb
    Current Weight:
    19st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    15st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st2lb(0.71%)
    WOOOOO! I just weighed myself (again) and I am now 19 stone, 12 lb! :D
     
  4. wannashedthosepounds:-)

    wannashedthosepounds:-) New Member

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    We all do it but don't weigh yourself too often! I have been on different diets before and have weighed myself mid week had great losses then when my weekly weigh in came it was not as much and I was disappointed (even though I had lost and done well)
    Make sure you are eating healthy and not feeling deprived, or you will never stick to it! It's a life change not a diet!!
    But well done for getting started! :) and good luck x
     
  5. skinnymini2be

    skinnymini2be Full Member

    Posts:
    378
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    Start Weight:
    14st8lb
    Current Weight:
    13st8.4lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st13.6lb(6.67%)
    Diet:
    Lipotrim
    Welcome to the forum, best of luck with your journey. I hope your plan works out for you and that this time next year you will be living/working in London with your weight goal smashed:bliss:
     
  6. Fia

    Fia Full Member

    Posts:
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    Start Weight:
    228.2lb
    Current Weight:
    198.4lb
    Goal Weight:
    140lb
    Lost(%):
    29.8lb(13.06%)
    Hi and welcome!

    Good luck!
    I just started last week so just at the beginning too!

    ETA - I used to binge eat too - same as you - whole packets of biscuits, huge chocolate bars etc.
    I managed to stop that earlier this year but only now started to exercise and eat really healthy :)
     
  7. Yorkshire_Pudding

    Yorkshire_Pudding Member

    Posts:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    20st0lb
    Current Weight:
    19st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    15st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st2lb(0.71%)
    People who don't binge eat will never understand how hard it is to stop. You lost 8lb in a week? Nice one! Can you see it on yourself? I have become obsessed with checking calorie contents and food diaries but it's better than being obsessed with pigging out in secret!

    Any smokers: do you want to smoke 100x more?! I never thought I would, but I really do! Oh well! Look at Kate Moss ;)
     
  8. Fia

    Fia Full Member

    Posts:
    127
    Likes Received:
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    Start Weight:
    228.2lb
    Current Weight:
    198.4lb
    Goal Weight:
    140lb
    Lost(%):
    29.8lb(13.06%)
    It was very hard to stop but I just refused to let myself buy things in large sizes - like if I wanted some chocolate I'd buy just 1 small bar and not a multipack or large share size bar.

    I even stopped carrying cash with me to college at the beginning because it was on the way home I'd usually stop by Tesco and buy a load of stuff. I had my debit card if I did need money for something else though.

    Yes, I lost 8lbs last week! :) It was my first week so more than likely will be the most I'll lose in a week. I don't think I can see it yet but I feel sooooooooo much better to be eating healthy and exercising everyday, just happier and more energy.
     
  9. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    Hi and welcome. Good luck with the pounds

    Irene xx
     
  10. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    Diet:
    Slimming World - at home
    Wow - you sound very determined - well done you. Your calories sound quite low. I'm not telling you to increase them - you have to make choices that feel right for you - but make sure you are getting all the nutrition you need. Maybe you could also consider one week a month increasing to 1000 or 1200 calories? The reason I suggest this is that it might help stop your body going into starvation mode which can happen if you are under 800 cal for long periods. I am not preaching and am very happy for you that you are making a difference for your health and your future!
     
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