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Heyelp!

#1
I re joined my old SW group a couple of weeks ago and I'm kinds of regretting it already... Aside from the fact that my head isn't in the 'zone' (translation, I'm still eating tons of [email protected] like a big piggy!) I feel as uncomfrotable as ever at group!
Don't get me wrong, about 98.5% of people there are lovely, but it's SO clique-y that sometimes you can barely get a word in at all!

And then of course, there's HER. Take yourselves back to high school, where the skinny, pretty girls were the centre of attention and made you feel like crud. This one spends the 90 minutes of the meeting looking at me like I was something she just scraped off her shoe. I don't know whether to go back or find another group. I'm terrifed of jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
HELP!!
 
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Terrycb

Full Member
S: 10st13lb C: 10st0lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 24 Loss: 0st13lb(8.5%)
#2
That's why I do it online Stella! I'm not good in groups and I certainly don't want a reminder of school at my age lol.

If you go to another group can you carry your membership over? Are you brave enough to talk to her about it, maybe she doesn't realise how you feel? I think some of the people on here who go to groups might be able to help me better than I can, hope you get something sorted as it would be a shame to give up before you've really started. :)
 

10st10lbs

Gold Member
S: 10st10lb C: 10st2lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 26.8 Loss: 0st8lb(5.33%)
#3
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo, don't let someone else throw you off! The wind's gonna blow hard one day and fix her face like that, so she'll always be ugly, but you will get to target and be fabulous and amazing and oh so beautiful :)

I feel for you with the clique-y group thing, we have the same thing at ours... There's a bunch of older women, then a bunch of younger women, then a bunch of women pregnant/with kids, then there's me... and my mum. JOY(!) And they all always sit in the same places, leaving the front row totally empty, so we feel like the geeks at school :eek: but I realised soon enough that it really doesn't matter, I'm there for me, not to be their friend :) I have plenty of people to talk to on here, a much better support network than they could ever be, and it's brilliant :D

What underlying reasons are there for you not being in the zone? When you rejoined, could you be bothered? Has the bothering slowly ceased, and now it's just a big case of Can'tBeAssed syndrome?

*hugs* babe, cheer up, smile, someone else might see you smile and smile themselves, and then someone will see them smile and they will smile, and before you know it, you'll have made so many peoples' days :) OK, maybe not that easy, but it's a nice thought ;) xxx
 

Circes

Strutting her stuff
S: 17st12lb C: 10st7lb BMI: 22.3 Loss: 7st5lb(41.2%)
#5
And then of course, there's HER. Take yourselves back to high school, where the skinny, pretty girls were the centre of attention and made you feel like crud. This one spends the 90 minutes of the meeting looking at me like I was something she just scraped off her shoe. I don't know whether to go back or find another group. I'm terrifed of jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
HELP!!
To be fair this probably says more about how you feel about yourself than about her. After all she is there for a reason, and it's the same one as you! I bet if you spoke to her you'd find she is just as insecure about her body as you are. We have a tendency to run things that people say and do through a filter. If your filter is saying you're a 'big piggy' (your words) then that affects your interpretation of what is said or in her case, how she looks at you.

I know it's difficult but it's a two way street and you need to make effort to be included rather than expect someone else to. Why not go out of your way to actually speak to that girl? Tell her you;re struggling and ask her advice. Most people are over the moon if you do this. You might actually find she is a really nice person and a potential friend and ally :)
 

stivesliz

Gold Member
S: 17st5lb C: 11st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 25.5 Loss: 6st1lb(34.98%)
#6
I am lucky enough to be a member of a really great group but it still sometimes has its' fair share of painful members!
If I was you, I would go elsewhere - as long as you're a member you can go to class anywhere so I would maybe try another one first.
x
 

abigail09

Gold Member
S: 11st6lb C: 11st1lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 26.6 Loss: 0st5lb(3.13%)
#7
i think its important to find the right group, my group isnt my closest but its where i feel most secure and most motivated so i would rather have that short drive although these is one at the end of my street
 
#8
I know it's difficult but it's a two way street and you need to make effort to be included rather than expect someone else to. Why not go out of your way to actually speak to that girl? Tell her you;re struggling and ask her advice. Most people are over the moon if you do this. You might actually find she is a really nice person and a potential friend and ally :)
I'm not a likkle wall flower. I've tried to speak to not only her, but everyone else in group-both last time I was a member and this time. I've spoken up when we're supposed to be having a 'group' discussion and get cut off. Last week I actually said to one of them excuse me I'm still talkng. On the way out I heard her calling me mouthy. I've emailed my C but as usual, no reply from her. No reply to my text either.

It's very like being back at school, 'cept I'm paying £4.95 a week for it. I ahte coming away from group feeling worse about myself than when I went in, no matter what the scales say :(
 
#9
Form your own clique!!! Every time someone new joins, and they are sitting around looking lost, go up to them and start chatting. When another new person joins the following week, go up to them, start chatting, and introduce them to last week's new person. And so on. That way, all the new people think you are lovely, and it doesn't matter what the others think. Keep it up, and you end up with the biggest clique of all!!

Except of course that you are such a nice person, it wouldn't really be a clique, because you would never turn anyone away. Not even HER!!
 

10st10lbs

Gold Member
S: 10st10lb C: 10st2lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 26.8 Loss: 0st8lb(5.33%)
#10
Form your own clique!!! Every time someone new joins, and they are sitting around looking lost, go up to them and start chatting. When another new person joins the following week, go up to them, start chatting, and introduce them to last week's new person. And so on. That way, all the new people think you are lovely, and it doesn't matter what the others think. Keep it up, and you end up with the biggest clique of all!!

Except of course that you are such a nice person, it wouldn't really be a clique, because you would never turn anyone away. Not even HER!!
Great idea!! I second this :D xxx
 

Loopeylou

Gold Member
S: 18st12lb C: 18st5.5lb G: 13st0lb BMI: 40.3 Loss: 0st6.5lb(2.46%)
#11
What surprised me more than ever is the lack of response from your C......there are always going to cliques I guess but if it's that uncomfortable then a new class may be the answer. As said before you have to feel comfortable and that yoru getting the support you need for this journey.
Hugs
xx
 


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