angeljaide
Full Member
Hi everyone. My name is Angel and I am starting over and I am nervous.
I restarted ww yesterday and weighed in at 232lbs. My goal is to reach 149lb by the end of August next year, my 32nd birthday.
I've been fat since I was about 7 years old. My brother died and I was bullied at school and my family always used food to make things feel better. My treats were always sweet and calorie laden but I don't blame my family because they only ever tried to make me happy. Now aged 30, I continue that trend myself - using food to make the emptiness and sadness and insecurity go away. It's a learned behaviour and I know it's a hard one to change, but that is, I know, what I have to do.
I originally started ww back in Feb 2008 weighing in at my heaviest - 250lb and I lost 54lbs which took me down to 196lb - half way to goal. Then, and I have no idea what changed, I just stopped. And in the past year I have gained back 38lb.
I'm starting again because I want to wake up and think that today is the heaviest I will ever be again, and I want to do that everyday until I wake up one day and I where I want to be. It's going to be hard. My headspace isn't great to be honest but I want thos so much. I've come here hoping to find people like me, make new friends and find support to help me change my life and myself for the better.
I hate that I hate myself so much. I am ruining the most important relationship I will ever have - the one I have with myself, not to mention ruining every other romantic relationship because of my own issues with myself. I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. Maybe I never will - but I do know that I;d rather be looking at the 149lb version of me.
I can do this. I hope...
I restarted ww yesterday and weighed in at 232lbs. My goal is to reach 149lb by the end of August next year, my 32nd birthday.
I've been fat since I was about 7 years old. My brother died and I was bullied at school and my family always used food to make things feel better. My treats were always sweet and calorie laden but I don't blame my family because they only ever tried to make me happy. Now aged 30, I continue that trend myself - using food to make the emptiness and sadness and insecurity go away. It's a learned behaviour and I know it's a hard one to change, but that is, I know, what I have to do.
I originally started ww back in Feb 2008 weighing in at my heaviest - 250lb and I lost 54lbs which took me down to 196lb - half way to goal. Then, and I have no idea what changed, I just stopped. And in the past year I have gained back 38lb.
I'm starting again because I want to wake up and think that today is the heaviest I will ever be again, and I want to do that everyday until I wake up one day and I where I want to be. It's going to be hard. My headspace isn't great to be honest but I want thos so much. I've come here hoping to find people like me, make new friends and find support to help me change my life and myself for the better.
I hate that I hate myself so much. I am ruining the most important relationship I will ever have - the one I have with myself, not to mention ruining every other romantic relationship because of my own issues with myself. I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. Maybe I never will - but I do know that I;d rather be looking at the 149lb version of me.
I can do this. I hope...
