Housemates....in much need of a vent!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by X~Libby~X, 16 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. X~Libby~X

    X~Libby~X Full Member

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    ok, the situation is that myself and my housemate have both been out of a job for 3 weeks on saturday. We were both fired (unfairly) at the same time from the same job. I have applied for so many jobs I have lost count, I have made my appointment with citizens advice regarding unfair dismissal and I look for more jobs everyday.

    He on the other hand has spent the last 3 weeks doing a fat lot of f**k all! He spends all day and night lying on the sofa looking at pointless c**p on the internet..why cant he be looking for a job?

    I have been out cycling today so my little sister could run as she is trying to join the RAF. Whilst at my parent's house, I receive a phone call from the housemate declaring that he is having 5 friends over tonight and he thought he should let me know so I dont have to come home!!! His reasoning behind his friends having to come here is that he can't afford to go out with them...well get a f***ing job then!!!

    I had my evening all planned out as I supposedly had the flat to myself. I was going to have a bath, sit on the sofa with my book and work my way through the mountain of washing and housework that has accumulated. Now I should apparently be fine with the fact I can't do any of the above and either have to go out or sit in my room!

    The kitchen is a bomb site and I sure as hell know that none of the pots, pans and plates are mine! No wait, they are mine, I bought them and he is using them! He even got offered a job, all he had to do was turn up at the same time as my OH, but no..that was far too stressful..he was then given a second chance to go in the next night but couldn't be arsed!

    I don't think this is me being totally unreasonable. I have bent over backwards for him in the past. He didn't even have a bed so I foolishly let him use my beautiful duck egg blue hand carved sleigh bed!!! He has now ruined my mattress as he cannot be bothered to put a sheet on it even though I have supplied him with plenty! I also spent my last £20 on food for my OH as I was worried that he wasn't eating enough and I know he will pay me back when he gets his first paycheck...the housemate on the other hand has taken it upon himself to eat what he wants from this. Yes admittedly I said he could have A hotcross bun...not a flaming packet!!!

    He is now stomping around the flat as I shouted at him but I am being the b!tch, he has done nothing wrong!!!

    Sorry to everyone that has had to endure that tirade but I really needed to vent as usually in situations like this, the takeaway would be on speed dial!

    I feel calmer now...still want to cry though...I'm 21 and I feel like I am his mother...he is 22!!!

    x
     
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  3. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    That is so annoying. Any chance you could persuade him to move on?

    irene xx
     
  4. X~Libby~X

    X~Libby~X Full Member

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    Not really as his name is on the contract and there is noway that me and my OH can afford to pay his share of the rent as well. Have been secretly looking for another housemate but to no avail.
     
  5. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    aww he sounds like the housemate from hell. (((hugs))) your doing fab on ll by the way :) xx
     
  6. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    :hug99: Libby,Vent away if it makes you feel better.You're going through a tough time and still sticking to LL.Good for you.Hopefully your situation will improve,and you'll have less time with him x
     
  7. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    oh dear, i do feel for you.

    i think looking for another flatmate is def the way to go!
    daisy x
     
  8. X~Libby~X

    X~Libby~X Full Member

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    Thanks everyone...I swear at the moment my willpower is being seriously tested! My OHs sister has just got back from Australia so we are going to try and get her in the room. Her dad will pay the rent and there is the bonus of we are friends and she loves clean!!! I guess things can only get better!!!

    x
     
  9. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    Oh gosh Libby, as I was reading your post I was just thinking how similar your situation is to mine! Honestly I totally understand how you feel. It's horrible to feel so completely annoyed in your own home. It makes life uncomfortable.
    I own a house with my brother. Last year, my brother lost his job and was out of work for 4 months. In this time, I paid all the bills and the mortgage and bought all of the food and he didn't even clean up after himself!
    He has now got a job and paid me back, but he forgot my birthday and still expects me to do all the cleaning (even after him and his mates!)
    On Tuesday, I has a rough day at work, I fell down the stairs last week so I have been in a lot of pain which didn't make things any better. I went home hoping to have some peace and quiet and rest. Instead I arrived to a house full of people. And trance music so loud I could hear it down the street. I flipped out, stormed upstairs, grabbed a bag and left. He has been nice as pie to me since and even cleaned up yesterday. It won't last. We need to keep sticking up for ourselves. It's all very well being nice to people, but if they don't treat us with respect back, they are taking advantage.

    B x

    PS: Get him to pay for a new bloody mattress!!! Cheeky git.
     
  10. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    oh my. poor you. and becks. And LS. I have forgotten how hard it is to live with a roomate! I don't think I could ever live with a flatmate again....its hard work. Thing is - you both end up feeling like you should be able to do what you want in "your" house - it can lead to very difficult problems and real strains on friendship.

    Hang in there - better things surely must be ahead.

    Sorry too to hear about your job. That certainly adds to stress levels - this I know abuot! ;)

    Fingers crossed you can get your friend from Oz in - sounds like a much better match.

    Well done for resisting temptation of stress eating. Each time you do it, you put yourself that much closer to a lifelong lifestyle change. Keep at it!!!

    xxx
     
  11. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    OMG poor you

    OMG sounds horrendous. Get your Aussie friend in asap and him out. Don't feel guilty. He has shown no respect or consideration for you and your OH.
    I hope you get it sorted soon. You should be having fun at your age - not hassle.:)
     
  12. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    I know exactly where you're coming from. Sharing a house is a fine balance and unless you really love them, even the smallest thing can start to get really annoying (my last flatmate always put her cereal bowl in the sink and never rinsed it out before she went to work -how hard can that be-especially when it's ten times harder to clean when it's all dried onto the bowl? And because I work from home, I couldn't leave it there all day (OCD?!) so ended up doing her washing up-small thing I know but when it happens every day in spite of numerous requests to change, it gets soooooo annoying!)

    It sounds like your housemate has given up and given that you're keeping going, he's expecting you to trawl around after him like his mother. He needs to get a grip, face reality and pay his way. That's life. That's what he needs to do if he wants to maintain his independence. If he doesn't like it then he can move out and live with his parents like the child he is behaving like.
    If it gets to the point he can't pay bills/rent etc, that's when it really impacts on you so DO NOT sub him. Tell him you've got someone who can pay so he'll have to move on. It's really not right that he's putting added pressure on you at such a stressful point in your life.

    Good luck!!

    ps. sorry about going on abou the cereal bowl thing. It's one of my peeves!! lol
     
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