How do you feel when you catch your OH gorping ...?

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by totty, 1 February 2009 Social URL.

  1. totty

    totty Personal Trainer

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    Interesting convo going in another thread...so i thought i would start one here....

    So...

    When you catch your other half having a good old perv over another woman/man...how does it make you feel???

    me personally...i dont mind...my OH loves lookin at skinny young women..normally with big boobs :giggle:...but i dont mind.... i just smile to myself and think "i could break you in half" :sign0151:....i choose to be the way i am for me...no one else...and if he dont like it...the doors over there >>> LOL :happy036:
     
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  3. nexangelus

    nexangelus Carpe diem, baby!

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    Heh, followed you here...it does affect my ego somewhat I must admit...cos I ain't skinny, never have been (apart from when I was anorexic like years ago) and have a naturally stocky body...with small boobs...BUT at the same time I think well there is nowt wrong with appreciating beauty in all its forms...my OH does keep saying he prefers me chubby so that confuses the hell outa me when he likes and ogles sticks with big whangers?

    I oughta be more strong and just do what I want for me and ignore the conflicting evidence...it's my body at the end of the day and I am the one who has to live in it 24/7 not him or them...and I like the way it is looking now, just improving it bit by bit...I know I can never look like many women, so I have to make the best of my body which happens to fall in the athletic/tomboy category at present...

    Hmmmm...
     
  4. dizzyshelly

    dizzyshelly Member

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    Depends on my mood at the time!!

    The other day he went to a lap dance club, because the club sponsers the five a side football league where he plays, and they had a presentation thing, didnt bother me in the slightest.

    Sometimes if he is blantantly oggling at someone it upsets me, but I think thats usually when I feel fat and ugly!

    There may also be a direct link between certain times of the month too!
     
  5. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    my hubby doesnt openly oggle other women, he's not like that but i am currently encouraging him to look at other womens bottoms to help me pick out one that i'd like -you know not to skinny but shapely, need something to aim for:D
     
  6. totty

    totty Personal Trainer

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    i am the same, always have been....and always will be a tomboy. I arm wrestle the lads who i work with and 8/10 times i win:happy036:

    but sometimes look at the girly girls (my best mate who i love to bits)...and think..i wish i could be like that...always dressed feminine....makeup on...

    then i look at me ..normally in my baggy jeans...and think ...well this is who i am...so you either like me the way i am..or not at all :flirt2:
     
  7. nexangelus

    nexangelus Carpe diem, baby!

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    Well I have dresses in the wardrobe and they fit well and look nice on...I even got all my make up out the other evening to do some experiments with it...didn't get round to doing the feminine thing...most I do when I go out is eyeliner, mascara and a bit of powder to cover the trouble spots...that's it...my beau recently commented on my never wearing the stuff and saying I should highlight the good bits...hmmm...I just honestly don't have the time or patience to faff with the stuff, even my hair is easy care, going to be cropped shorter soon...I've never owned a hair dryer in my life!

    Whilst I do try to be more feminine, it usually isn't for long. I know I am not pig ugly so can just about get away with it apart from in the gym sometimes when I can feel them thinking is it a he or a she hahahaha! Maybe that's me being paranoid though...
     
  8. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    I think all men like to look at the skinny, big titted women but wouldn't really want to be with them. Men really prefer their women to have curves and to be natural.

    Mr Taz has no tact so if he see's someone who looks good on TV or in the papers he will say 'Wow she looks stunning' without thinking how that one comment will make me feel. When he says that it makes me feel so inferior and that I am not at all stunning. It is worse when he comments on how good a celeb looks when they have lost weight!
     
  9. RachelM

    RachelM Full Member

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    My boyfriend doesn't say anything about any other women. I think I'm really lucky for this but sometimes I almost think I want a bit of self-torture by comparison! At a certain time of the month I find myself watching him watching t.v. and looking for any sort of response to various women but I honestly think he's just too lazy for it lol! He's always supportive of me and can be complimentary when he chooses (sometimes even more than once in the same month haha) so I suppose I have no room to complain.
     
  10. Purpleangel

    Purpleangel Silver Member

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    Sometimes i will make a joke....and other times i want to belt him! Especially if he looks at a girl in a mini - i would never wear a mini due to religious beliefs! So i think okay you are happy with me as I dress but then gaze at those in mini's....humpf!

    Bizarrely i caught him looking at porno - women with big boobs - bizarre cos he has that at home in the flesh.....MEN! LOL

    If i dared look at a guy he would go mad. But i like to remind him of this and it tends to put him off :) The more calm i am the more sheepish he is!
     
  11. PurpleButterfly

    PurpleButterfly 16lb to go!

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    Interesting thread!
    It doesn't bother me in the slightest. With my ex we used to sit there in a place and he'd say "ooh she's cute" and then we'd have a debate about it. Or vice versa, I'd say someone is cute etc..
    With my OH it never came up at all. But I just think that boys will be boys, of course he will look, but if he really wanted to be with someone like that then he would not have chosen to be with me! I'd also much rather he's open about the fact that he thinks someone is cute. If it's secretly wanting someone then that's worse for me?!
     
  12. wannabslim

    wannabslim Gold Member

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    It doesn't bother me either - not since someone pointed this out to me:

    Think about it, how many men do you know who have had long-lasting successful relationships with the type of women they like to "ogle"? Answer: none. Why? Because deep down they don't consider these 'bodies' as women - they are a sexual object and nothing more. In reality, men like women who look like women - hips, thighs, tum, bum and boobs are all welcome. This is because when considering settling down, men want women who:

    a) won't break in half during playtime! ;)
    b) are capable of bearing children
    c) are not completely stuck up/obsessed with their figures/judgmental/likely to run off with someone else on the grounds that they are better looking.
    d) won't make the man feel inferior about his own figure
    e) knows how to have fun and relax and isn't constantly on a diet and miserable!

    So, as you can see, men would much rather have a larger woman than ones we catch them gawping at... so what do you do next time you catch him in the act? You smile to yourself knowing that whilst he may think she's hot - she'll never be his type - YOU are!!

    :D xxx
     
  13. Metal_Heart

    Metal_Heart Member

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    I guess if my self-esteem wasn't so brilliant at the time, it would make me feel low.
    But, it would be no big deal, seeing as he's chosen me out of the many women he could of had.

    However, my boyfriend is nice enough not to gawp at other women in my presence =)
     
  14. 2.b.a.n.d.s.l.i.z

    2.b.a.n.d.s.l.i.z twin banded

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    :roofles: hey if they can do this, why dont we ? lets get down the gym girls and watch the fit blokes in lycra lol :D
     
  15. nexangelus

    nexangelus Carpe diem, baby!

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    Liz2008 I DO do that, well, not really, but there is this one bloke at the gym with a gorgeous bod and handsome face, I call him Eye Candy...so we objectify just as much as the men...notice I said one bloke, whereas my beau will comment on handful of attractive women (ones that he would date if single) and loads that he would **** if he were single...nice! Do they think with their genitals? Er, yes!
     
  16. Charisma

    Charisma Silver Member

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    wow im suprised now cause i think im the only one it really gets to. i think its kinda disrespectful if hes out with you and gawping at other women. plus i have pretty low self esteem so it makes me feel ten times worse
     
  17. 2.b.a.n.d.s.l.i.z

    2.b.a.n.d.s.l.i.z twin banded

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    four simple thoughts in a MALE brain.


    1. SEX
    2. FOOD
    3. BEER
    4. FOOTBALL

    these thoughts may vary, but only in a different order lol.:8855:
     
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  19. RachelM

    RachelM Full Member

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    I completely agree with Charisma, I think it's completely disrespectful and I'd feel pretty crap if my OH did that to me. I know he's only human and I'm sure he finds plenty of women attractive but if he did openly gawp or even worse commented I'd be offended.
     
  20. Jenmac

    Jenmac can't speak French

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    I think it's hard to remember that most men actually like quite a wide variety of women - advertisers like to tell us that skinny with big boobs is the only way to be, cos then they can sell breast implants to the slender girls and diets to the rest of us.
    I reckon that's why we tend to notice when our OHs drool over girls who fit this template and that's why it hurts, but in reality they're probably finding all kinds of women attractive for all kinds of reason.
    Most men do like slim large-breasted women, but most men also like small-breasted women, big-bottomed women, fat women, athletic women...they just like pretty ladies!
    In my personal experience, men who have a very narrow definition of attractiveness are deeply insecure control freaks and it has nothing to do with sex.
    If you think about the men who are thought of as fanciable, there's a massive range of body types.

    As long as your partner isn't being hurtful or disrespectful, I think we have to cut them a little slack with looking at other women - actually, it's all good practice for looking at you and thinking you're gorgeous!
     
  21. missrachyp

    missrachyp Full Member

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    most guys have a stereotype for them 'perfect' girls and would rarely have a relationship with them, i dont have an OH so im okai buttttt i do like the od perve on the men who come swimming lol but if i did and he did it infront of me id be quite upset :) x
     
  22. exp107

    exp107 Silver Member

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    Mine doesn't openly perv, but even if he did I don't think I'd notice or care TBH, I have a fair perv myself :p
     
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