How do you know when to stop?

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by ** Just Jools **, 21 April 2010 Social URL.

  1. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Not sure this thread is in the right place or even if it'll make any sense but here goes!

    How did you all know when to stop dieting & start on the road of maintenance?

    Did you choose a weight to reach? A dress size? A BMI?

    I'm only asking because I always thought I'd be happy at a dress size 12.

    To be honest I think I probably thought this because I never, ever in my wildest dreams imagined I'd ever be a dress size 12 but I've nearly done it!!

    I know that perhaps my head hasn't yet caught up with how I really look but when I look in the mirror I'm still not happy with what I see.

    My worry is that I'll never be happy with what I see, so do I just stop at the 12 I'd originally planned to be or do I try to lose a bit more & get to a size 10 & see how I feel?

    Logically my head knows I look a million times better now that I did when I was a dress size 24 at the start of my journey but I guess I thought when I got "there" I'd look at myself in the mirror each morning & be jumping for joy & I'm not!

    Any help advice from those who reached goal would be very much appreciated. x x
     
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  3. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks James. I hope you're right. Maybe because I'm "not quite" there yet I'm worrying over nothing. A few more pounds gone may make all the difference to how I feel about thing.

    Are you just staring on your journey?

    Have a great day. x x :)
     
  4. Ria.

    Ria. Silver Member

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    I think im going to find this difficult because i keep moving my goal.

    First i wanted to lose 1 stone, then 2, 3 now 4 1/2! i know once i get there ill want to lose more thankfully i know my mum will tell me its time to stop, she's already told me she thinks i should just go for a size 16 and then stop! i want to be a 14!
     
  5. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Hiya Ria. We'll I've already lost a lot of weight so people are already telling me I don't need to lose anymore!

    Like you I'm aiming for another dress size. I'm currently a size 14 but having been a size 24 when I started I can see how people think I've probably lost enough. Once I get to a size 12 I'll give myself a few months to get used to the "new me" & then see how I feel about things. x x
     
  6. Ria.

    Ria. Silver Member

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    yeah i was a 24 now currently a 18/20, i just wanna get to a 14 then see how i feel, i wouldnt want to be any lower than a size 12 as im quite broad lol
     
  7. *Shanny*

    *Shanny* Gold Member

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    I tell ya it's so hard as im thinking i need to loose more weight.!

    Everyday im thinking weight, weight , weight.!

    Must be slimmer. don't understand y? x
     
  8. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Same with me I think/hope. We'll see when I get there. x

    I'm kinda hoping I'll wake up one day & think "that's it, I look great, I'm happy now"!!! x :8855:
     
  9. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks Annie. Yes I think I've decided that's what I'm going to do. Give myself a good 5 or 6 months to get used to the new me. Enjoy the summer in new smaller clothes & then see how I feel after that.

    I'm going to get back to my jogging/running so that will give me another goal to focus on for a while too.

    Congrats on your losses too. Are you still aiming to shift that last 2lbs then? x x
     
  10. DopeyAngel

    DopeyAngel Sweet wrapper fetishist.

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    This is a really thought provoking thread and something I've been asking myself a lot recently.

    I was aiming for a 'healthy BMI', but this is still more than 1 stone away for me and I'm a comfortable size 12 now (for the first time in my life!)

    On the one hand I think 'Wow! Amazing - size 12, still got some boobs, might as well stay here where I can realistically maintain' on the other I am still finding it hard to adjust to my new body. Like I haven't let go of my fatter-self if that makes sense? I still 'feel' chubby - when I'm out I'm still convinced that I'm the 'fattest' of all my friends and people are judging me. Suddenly I glance in a shop window and I'm surprised that it's me!

    It has made me realise that:
    a) for some of us, a healthy BMI means going a lot smaller (in dress sizes) than we originally thought we'd have to
    b) being slim isn't going to be the miracle cure for confidence that we initially think it will

    I'm sorry I can't give you a decent answer but I just thought I'd pop my 2p in - this issue is really bugging me at the moment!
     
  11. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    It makes perfect sense hun. To be honest from the replies I've had from this thread & other similar ones it seems to be a female problem which I guess means (apart from the obvious - that we're never happy!!) it is all in our heads really and it's something that we may or may not get used to!

    Maybe I just need to accept the fact I may or may not ever be happy, and be happy with that!! x :8855:
     
  12. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    I wanted to be a healthy BMI - so that put me at just over 10 stone. I intially set my target at 10 stone 7lb but as soon as I got there I knew I wasn't happy so dropped it to 10 stone.
    I've been there or thereabouts for almost 2 years but I'm still not truly happy. I'd love to lose another 7lbs and be a comfortable size 10 but I get told all the time that I don't need to lose any more.
    I'm not sure at 9st7lb/size 10 I'd be completely happy though, I guess then I'd want to be 9stone.....

    I'd say get used to where you are and see how you feel in a few months time. Sometimes it's about acceptance of the new you, I still think of myself as overweight, I still take a 14 into the changing room and I still get a shock when I see myself in a mirror. After all this time I haven't quite got used to being 3 stone lighter!

    You have done fantastically well, just give it some time at your target weight and see how you feel when you have lived at that weight for some time.

    It's a bit rambling, but hope this helps!
     
  13. Fat2ThinGirl

    Fat2ThinGirl Gonna get slim

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    Be aware of the disapproving comments from others when they tell you to stop losing weight..people said it to me even though I was still quite overweight. Sometimes (not in a malicious way) people have in their minds a picture of how you look and they don't like it when this picture changes. Be at a weight that is in the healthy BMI range that feels right for you and no one else...you might end up recieving the disapproval of others as a result but it's your body and you need to do what's right for you. I've spent my whole life being a people pleaser and it's only ever served the purpose of keeping me fat!
     
    Last edited: 22 January 2012
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  14. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks hun. You've done great too. I know what you mean about thinking you're still fatter than you are but then catching a glimpse in a mirror or window & thinking "oh wow, that's me isn't it?"!!

    I will give it some time before making any more decisions. x :)

    Thanks hun, that's very true & I've already come across it. A lady at work told me ages ago I didn't need to lose anymore & I was still a size 18 at that point!

    We'll get there. x :)
     
  15. mrsblobby38

    mrsblobby38 Silver Member

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    well done so far xx
     
  16. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks.

    Well done on your first great weigh in result. x
     
  17. Cherry_Pie

    Cherry_Pie Full Member

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    Do you sometimes wonder that people tell you you don't need to lose any more weight because they feel jealous? And they don't want the competition? I think that sometimes.
     
  18. Lynn_

    Lynn_ On A Mission!

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    Possibly, but i think its more to do with them perceiving that you are changing as a person. Also, they may not understand your own feelings about your weight. Ive had people telling me to stop losing weight once i was down to 13st, and ive now lost the another 3 st since then. My hubby demands to know what I weigh, and then tells me im too thin lol.

    I think people do worry too that you might be ill, or might make yourself ill. A friend told me not long ago that she is convinced that I am now anorexic because I work hard at maintaining my weight loss. Its a no win situation, you just have to let the comments go.
     
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  19. TTfan

    TTfan Full Member

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    Hi Cherry Pie, sadly I do think that some people get jealous and don't want their friends to lose weight, but I think Lynn is also right, most people are a bit scared of change and you learning to how control what you eat and losing weight is a change. I think in a way, people also get used to seeing you at a certain weight and therefore any weight you lose makes you "too thin" in comparison to what they're used to seeing (does that make any sense?!). I generally ignore them, as long as my BMI doesn't go below 20 (and there's very little danger of that) and I'm losing at a sensible rate I think I'm OK.
     
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  20. charm

    charm Member

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    I think that sometimes. I also hate when people tell me im fine as I am, however they are a size 8-10 and complaining that they look terrible. I also have a friend who is a size 6-8 and has on several occassions said that i could borrow her clothes and I found that a little insulting being a size 16 and blantantly not able to fit in them gggrrrrr!!
     
  21. joyfulspirit

    joyfulspirit Full Member

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    i think people can comment negatively or try to reign you in becasue they feel challeneged. i know i have been amazed at a friend of mine - her time with SW she has lost 2 stone and is very slender and happy but it was her self discipline and attitude that challenged me. i knew i had to lose weight but looking at her i felt i couldn't do what she has done. i got over it and now i am doing it too! but i know people at our group are annoyed she's still coming to group (as a maintainer)
     
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