How do you know when to stop?

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by ** Just Jools **, 21 April 2010 Social URL.

  1. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Not sure this thread is in the right place or even if it'll make any sense but here goes!

    How did you all know when to stop dieting & start on the road of maintenance?


    Did you choose a weight to reach? A dress size? A BMI?

    I'm only asking because I always thought I'd be happy at a dress size 12.

    To be honest I think I probably thought this because I never, ever in my wildest dreams imagined I'd ever be a dress size 12 but I've nearly done it!!

    I know that perhaps my head hasn't yet caught up with how I really look but when I look in the mirror I'm still not happy with what I see.

    My worry is that I'll never be happy with what I see, so do I just stop at the 12 I'd originally planned to be or do I try to lose a bit more & get to a size 10 & see how I feel?

    Logically my head knows I look a million times better now that I did when I was a dress size 24 at the start of my journey but I guess I thought when I got "there" I'd look at myself in the mirror each morning & be jumping for joy & I'm not!

    Any help advice from those who reached goal would be very much appreciated. x x
     
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  3. Jim

    Jim Big Boy

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    Hi Jools,

    I suspect many of set unattainable targets and that's why we fail in the end.

    I personally didn't really set a target, I was just happy seeing the stones fall off. I stopped when my wife and daughter told me I was looking too thin and gaunt. Doing Atkins I was helped by the stages, though I was always worried about moving to the next stage, but it all worked out fine in the end.

    That, I can't comment on, I think that's a woman thing love. I certainly didn't have that, mind you being a bloke I didn't think I was fat at 25ST+

    I just love looking in the mirror in the bathroom these days and marvelling at my skinyness. LOL Sorry.
     
  4. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Maybe you're right Jim & it is just a woman thing!

    Maybe I'll just have to be sensible, stop at size 12 and try to get used my head used to the new thinner me. x :D
     
  5. Wasted Ink

    Wasted Ink Full Member

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    I agree - I'm only halfway there with my weightloss, but I think it'll be tough knowing when to stop. My current plan is to just get to a "healthy" BMI - which is about 40lbs away (I think.) But my ultimate target is about 140lbs. But I'll have to see how I feel. I may be happy when I get to 160lbs, or I may be happy at 135lbs. I don't think you necessarily have to "set" a strict target. If you feel that you'd be happier in a size 10, then sure, shoot for it.

    Then again you may want to give yourself a few months for your head to "catch up" with your body, like you said.
     
  6. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks Wasted. You're right I could start maintaining at a size 12 & then see how I feel in a few months or so. I could always lose more if I felt I wanted to.

    I've been on this journey 2 years now & I just thought I'd immediately be happy with myself the instant I hit a "perfect size 12" & it's looking unlikely that's going to happen so it kinda scared me a bit. x x
     
    Last edited: 22 April 2010
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  7. Jim

    Jim Big Boy

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    Jools

    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 77lb
    Weight to Lose: 23lb
    % Lost 33.62%

    You've lost a third of your original body weight already love,

    In any one's book that is fantastic.!

    You must look great!
     
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  8. Maintainer

    Maintainer ** Chief WITCH **

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    An excellent question... I had no idea when to stop and even when friends were telling me that I was looking gaunt and drawn (face), I could only still see wobble (tummy)... I never managed to stabilise *that weight* even and now with a stone more, although I can grudgingly admit that my face looks better at this weight, my eyes still look straight at my wobbly bits.

    The more realistic (for one's profile... age, number of children, diet history, etc etc) one is in one's target weight, the more chance one will have of stabilising it and maintaining it afterwards.

    I alas sought too low for my profile yet yearn for that (yaunt face yet) flatter tummy again!
     
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  9. sinnocence

    sinnocence Member

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    personally id say stop when you feel you are satisfied with your size....

    if i was followin the doctors charts id be stick thin!
     
  10. x_ali_x

    x_ali_x Silver Member

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    How about when your comfortably in your size 12 clothes you take a break from the diet and go into maintenance mode give yourself at least a month to think about it and adjust to everything and see how you feel. If you think after that time you'd actually like to loose a few more pounds then you can be happy in the fact that you've made the decision with a sensible head on.

    Personally my goal is a BMI of 22 because the wii fit said that was a healthy thing and that'd make me 10 stone 7lb I know however that the first time I got big and lost weight I was over the moon when I reached 13 stone 7lbs because I got into a size 12-14 so I may have to re-evaluate this at that point.

    You've already done a fantastic job and I'm sure look amazing for it so if you need to take time for a head check I think thats a sensible thing.
     
  11. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks Jim.

    Have a wonderful day. x x :D

    Thanks. You're right. I think a size 12 is sensible, considering all other factors and that was my original plan so I'll try to maintain that for a while & see how I get on.

    It's a strange feeling being so close to goal when I really subconsciously though I'd never get here.

    Have a great day. x x :)

    I'm worried I won't ever be satified though!

    I'll give myself time to get used to the new me & take it from there I think.

    Have a lovely day. x x :)

    Thanks so much Ali.

    Sounds like a very sensible idea & what I think I'll do.

    It's all very odd being this small after years or being obese & I need to get used to it I guess.

    Have a fantastic day. x x :)
     
  12. Mifford

    Mifford Silver Member

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    my goddaughter was a bit like that when she did Lighter Life - she had dieted for so long she lost sight of what she'd achieved and became a little bit obsessed with it. When she finally started getting her head more used to it she realised that it was almost a fear of not dieting as strange as that sounds. She had been so used to sticking religiously to a particular diet that she had forgotten how to react to food normally and was so terrified of putting it all back on as well - she said she was convinced that she would eat a meal and wake up the next morning back at the same size she was before she started lol

    The other thing is have you tried looking at a photo of you when you started and one now? The best bit of advice she gave me when I started on Cambridge was to take photos as I went along - despite that I still couldn't really see myself as I really was when I looked in the mirror. It was only when someone on a forum I go on asked to see photos of before and after and I put them up on screen alongside each other that I could finally see the difference and that had a HUGE impact on how I saw myself in the mirror and how much happier I was with how I looked.

    I would agree with the other comments though - if you aren't happy with where you are now then set yourself at a healthy BMI reading and then go into maintenance from there. At least that way you know its a good place to stop without being affected by your head catching up with the rest of you.

    And congratulations - that's an awesome achievement to get as far as you have already xxx
     
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  13. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    That's exactly how I feel!! It's a very strange feeling & logically I know it doesn't make any sense but it doesn't stop me feeling that way.

    I've not had any pics taken in a while so I think I'll get some done this weekend & see if that helps.

    Thanks for making me feel like I'm not mad though!! ;)

    Have a lovely day. x x :)
     
  14. Mifford

    Mifford Silver Member

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    definitely not mad - I kind of did the same when I was on Cambridge last year. I got to the stage where I was craving an apple like crazy but I knew I wasn't allowed one for another 3 weeks - to stop the craving I was eating haribos so that I wouldn't eat an apple before I was meant to. After about a week a friend of mine grabbed me by the shoulders and told me she would shake me silly if I didn't get my brain in gear and just go and eat the apple because it would be better for me. At that stage I realised I needed to stop dieting hahahahahha

    If there's a risk that this is what's making you dissatisfied with your weight though then maybe its worth you going into maintenance now for a bit to get your head clear rather than risk taking it too far. What kind of diet have you been following? Is it one with a support network where you can discuss the situation with other people or diet counsellors? I very much get the feeling that its a normal problem after long term dieting and its important that you get back to having a normal relationship with food so that you can maintain in the future while having a life that isn't obsessed with worrying about everything you do or don't eat. That way if you do decide to lose a bit more you know its a conscious choice guiding you.

    Definitely not mad though - its a self-image thing plain and simple. The weight has come off but all the internal dialogue you've had for years and self-confidence bashing is still there. Time to start working on concentrating on the things about yourself that you like rather than being drawn to the bits that you don't like but no-one else notices and then you will be able to work out at what level you are truly happy to stop. I'm betting if you ask anyone else they won't see anything other than someone who looks absolutely fantastic.
     
  15. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks hun.

    I lost the first 3.5 stone very slowly over about 18 months by cutting out the rubbish I used to eat every day, going to the gym & generally being sensible.

    I put on about 1 stone of that between Sept & Dec last year due to stresses at home so after Christmas started CD.

    I have lost that gain & another 2.5 stone on CD over the last 12 weeks.

    My CDC is on hols this week so by the time I see her next week I'll be pretty close to the 10 stone target we originally set for me so I think I'll start going back up the plans then.

    You're right though. Everyone tells me I look great so I do know it's all in my head!! lol
     
  16. CamilleBates

    CamilleBates Alomst there :)

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    Hey Jools :)

    First off, are you looking at yourself in the mirror with or without clothes? When I look in the mirror and I'm naked/ just in under wear I reaaly don't like what I see. I'm now down to a size 8-10 and instantly point out all my flaws.... mummy tummy, stretch marks wobbly thighs (that STILL join at the top), saggy boobs, the list goes on but I won't ;) It's very hard to be positive about yourself when all you see is the negatives. I now don't look at myself like that any more. I will only look in a full length mirror in well fitting clothes, because that is the way I look the best. I know I have flaws, I just don't want to see them. I can appreciate my weightloss so much more that way.

    I do sometimes still see the person who was wearing the size 16 jeans (my avatar), but not so much. It does take a little while for you head to catch up. You just need to remind yourself to look at the good bits, and so what if that means hiding the bad bits?? It just means you get to see yourself the way others do :)
     
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  17. summerscream

    summerscream Full Member

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    I want to be a healthy bmi but I also need to look very carefully if I need to stop a little bit earlier because of how I feel and look like. Because I will look very quickly as a stick, if you know what I mean. :flirt2:
     
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  19. Aline

    Aline Gold Member

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    I think BMI isn't the most accurate thing, body fat and muscle mass (as well as blood tests) are what really matters. Anyway, I try to keep me at a healthy weight (bmi equal or above 18.5) and do some sports, even though i'm lazy sometimes.
    In my case numbers help to mantain some objectivity and avoid extremes (for example, without these minimum of 18.5 bmi I would probably try to be thinner than that, lol...)
     
  20. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Brilliant!!! You're so right & I never actually thought about the fact I was just scrutinising (sp?) myself without clothes on. (how thick am I??!!! lol)

    Thanks hun & well done on your success. x :D

    Thanks, I know exactly what you mean. Good luck. x :)

    That's very true. I guess I'll see how I look (dressed!!) when I hit goal & make a decision then. Thanks. x :)
     
  21. SammyE

    SammyE Silver Member

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    When I was 21 and at what is now my current goal weight, (I was a fat child, lost loads of weight in my late teens) I used to look at myself and think "urgh what a fatty" now I would be jumping for joy to be that weight again, see pictures of me at 21 and think I looked great but I think sometimes you get into the "im fat" mentality and you always think you are, its hard breaking that mind set.

    It sounds like you have done an amazing job so far!
     
  22. ** Just Jools **

    ** Just Jools ** Slow & steady does it!!!!

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    Thanks hun.

    Yes I think you're right. I'm exactly the same. I always thought I'd been fat. I thought I was probably at my thinnest at my sister's wedding 12 years ago, but still thought I was a fat bridesmaid!!

    Well I've recently moved house & came across my bridesmaid dress which was stored in the loft so I tried it on & I still can't get into it so I guess I wasn't as fat as I imagined myself to be after all!! lol

    Makes you wonder how much of our problem is actually in our heads & not in the way we really look. x x
     
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