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how not to care what people think

#2
i went to a self confidence class that was all bout self esteem .. wen i first started the gym i was raring to go up until i was about to open the gym door then feelings of what others wat say/think kicked in... the lady running the show says that.. why should we think what others think because we dont even know them. and everything they think is coming from there own expieriences and life issues so dont let that stop you from suceedin x
 

Meggie

Full Member
#4
I'm working on facing my fears!! I have definitely built some confidence in the last year but still get nervous when I try things where people may look or stare!!!
 
#6
Being judged and judging others is fact of like. You do it, I do it, the neighbours do it - its normal.

I tend to wear alot of leather or corsets when im out at the wkend and i can tell you i get an unbelivable amount of snotty looks. It does upset me but on the flip side it can be funny at how these people have massively misjudged me! The person they THINK i am, im not! LOL

Its something we need to accept, but not to take to heart :)

Sx
 

Iris

Full Member
#7
I can't give any good personal advice here because I'm terminally shy myself and I lack confidence. But I've heard all the theories even if I can't put them into practice!

I think being uncomfortable around others can stem a lot from believing that they're basically better than you. Better in some fundamental way. Better at coping with life? Better at being human? Who knows, you just assume they've got something that you haven't.

But why assume that? Everyone projects a social image, and you can never know what's going on under the surface. You can only feel your own turmoil, you certainly can't see other people's. The flipside to that is that you can project whatever image you like to the outside world, and they will interpret it as you want them to, and react to you based on that. So you can actually pretend to be assured, confident, at ease. Just get the head up, stick the chest out, and work the hips. It's a strange thing, but a confident-appearing person is always instantly attractive. We're all drawn to people who are easy in themselves.

So... maybe what you and I both need to do is the old 'fake it 'til you make it' trick. Project the confidence you feel you lack, pretend until it starts to feel real.

Worth a try! :)
 

Iris

Full Member
#8
By the way... something that's helped me a bit is realising how little other people actually do think about me at all! Yes, quite an ego-bruising realisation, but self-consciousness is kind of based on a fragile ego that assumes everyone is constantly judging and snickering at you. The truth seems to be that most people have far too much on their plate and too many thoughts about themselves and their own fears whirling around in their heads to give you or I much thought at all!

We're really not all that noteworthy. And that can be quite a liberating thought!
 

Scarlet Daisy

Hungry For Life
#9
The truth seems to be that most people have far too much on their plate and too many thoughts about themselves and their own fears whirling around in their heads to give you or I much thought at all!
Absolutely true. People are far more concerned with what you think of THEM.

I also agree that you should fake confidence until it becomes real!
 
#10
I think maybe my biggest problem with going outside is how I feel about myself. When I do go out I adopt what I call the 'Lauren attitude' (from catherine tate show) I keep repeating to myself Am I bovvered which maybe isn't a good thing but when I think people are looking at me etc and I think am I bovvered it helps a bit.

I thought getting a dog would help me get out but it doesn't.:sigh:
 
#11
When I do go out I adopt what I call the 'Lauren attitude' (from catherine tate show)
Lyn, that is genius!

I read a great description once, that was along the lines of "She entered the room like a ship in full sail". I love that. A large woman can OWN a room, if she walks in like that!
 


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