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How to Diet when your brain won't co-operate?

_Flower_

Full Member
How do you successfully lose weight if you can't get your head to co-operate?

I have 12 stone or so to lose and tried every diet under the sun but never manage more then a few weeks, food is connected to my emotions and they are always all over the place. Half my brain seems to be allergic to the thought of losing weight and the other is so miserable because of my size, every new failure is like a nail in the obesity coffin!

I have spoken to the doctors about getting some help but other then offering pills (which resulted in some rather unpleasant consequences) they were useless.
 
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247cazza

Member
Don't dispair, there's a brilliant line in the film Bridesmaids, "You are your problem but you are also your solution'. Only you can decide to conquer this and only you can make yourself do it. You need to make up your mind but, more importantly, you need to tell your mind what it is you have decided. The mind is a funny old thing, it likes it's habits (it takes 21 days to create a habit) and you need to really hammer home what it is you really want. It often gets misguided, it thinks you want the chocolate for comfort so it gives you signal 'eat chocolate', it doesn't realise that it is eating the chocolate that is making you unhappy, it's catch 22.

Just trying to think differently sounds easy but when push comes to shove the comfort zone kicks in and we revert to norm. Firstly stop dieting, your thoughts will always be concerned with food, you'll think about the foods you like then want to eat them. Try to concentrate on being healthy and active, think about how you can do this. Is your true happiness on the plate or can you look beyond it, take a few seconds each time you have to decide on what to eat and ask your self what it is you really want. Affirmations are a good way, keep them positive and in the present tense, maybe "I am dedicated to living a healthy and active life". Repeat it to your self, write it down and read it.

You need to deal with the part of you who who is allergic to the thought of loosing weight, try this. Give it a name and a separate persona then write him/her a goodbye letter. The letter should be positive, do not apportion blame, it was a two way street. Thank him/her for being in your life, make it clear that you both recognise that the time has come to part. Outline your plans for the future, talk about being healthy and active, tell him/her what you will do when when you reach your goal, will you have one big goal or split it into smaller ones. Once you have everything out destroy the paper, if you have used a computer, delete the file from the folder and also delete it from the trash, as you delete it concentrate on the separation and try to feel it leaving you.

Another good way is to keep a gratitude diary, keep a notebook and pen by your bed and write about only positive things, these could be thoughts, events or wishes, it should be in the present tense so wishes must be written about as if they have happened, such as 'thank you for my fortune'.

Good luck and don't loose heart, you are not alone, we are all here to help you.
 

valerie11

Gold Member
hi hun sorry u r unable to get into the right frame of mind x have you thought about trying a hypnosis cd to see if that helps there are several about my friend has one by marisa peers (or something like that ) and she swears by it. good luck xx
 

_Flower_

Full Member
Don't dispair, there's a brilliant line in the film Bridesmaids, "You are your problem but you are also your solution'. Only you can decide to conquer this and only you can make yourself do it. You need to make up your mind but, more importantly, you need to tell your mind what it is you have decided. The mind is a funny old thing, it likes it's habits (it takes 21 days to create a habit) and you need to really hammer home what it is you really want. It often gets misguided, it thinks you want the chocolate for comfort so it gives you signal 'eat chocolate', it doesn't realise that it is eating the chocolate that is making you unhappy, it's catch 22.

Just trying to think differently sounds easy but when push comes to shove the comfort zone kicks in and we revert to norm. Firstly stop dieting, your thoughts will always be concerned with food, you'll think about the foods you like then want to eat them. Try to concentrate on being healthy and active, think about how you can do this. Is your true happiness on the plate or can you look beyond it, take a few seconds each time you have to decide on what to eat and ask your self what it is you really want. Affirmations are a good way, keep them positive and in the present tense, maybe "I am dedicated to living a healthy and active life". Repeat it to your self, write it down and read it.

You need to deal with the part of you who who is allergic to the thought of loosing weight, try this. Give it a name and a separate persona then write him/her a goodbye letter. The letter should be positive, do not apportion blame, it was a two way street. Thank him/her for being in your life, make it clear that you both recognise that the time has come to part. Outline your plans for the future, talk about being healthy and active, tell him/her what you will do when when you reach your goal, will you have one big goal or split it into smaller ones. Once you have everything out destroy the paper, if you have used a computer, delete the file from the folder and also delete it from the trash, as you delete it concentrate on the separation and try to feel it leaving you.

Another good way is to keep a gratitude diary, keep a notebook and pen by your bed and write about only positive things, these could be thoughts, events or wishes, it should be in the present tense so wishes must be written about as if they have happened, such as 'thank you for my fortune'.

Good luck and don't loose heart, you are not alone, we are all here to help you.

Thank you for your post,
I like the idea of a goodbye letter and the diary
Need to work on being more positive because it doesn't come natural for me

hi hun sorry u r unable to get into the right frame of mind x have you thought about trying a hypnosis cd to see if that helps there are several about my friend has one by marisa peers (or something like that ) and she swears by it. good luck xx

I've tried the Paul Mckenna cd's but can't say they worked. Will have a search for that one x
 

AmandaJayne

Trainee Maintainer
How do you successfully lose weight if you can't get your head to co-operate?

I have 12 stone or so to lose and tried every diet under the sun but never manage more then a few weeks, food is connected to my emotions and they are always all over the place. Half my brain seems to be allergic to the thought of losing weight and the other is so miserable because of my size, every new failure is like a nail in the obesity coffin!

I have spoken to the doctors about getting some help but other then offering pills (which resulted in some rather unpleasant consequences) they were useless.

Flower, I am a returner to Minis (should be called boomerang perhaps). I have many times lost and gained weight on various diets. Here I am (again!) at (I believe) my heaviest )too, too scared to stand on the scales).

Like you I am extremely resistant to doing another diet. I know WHY this is. It is because I fear the ultimate failure, as this has happened so many times in the past, I cannot bear yet more shame for failing.

Yet, again and again recently I return to thinking about dieting again. Why? Because there is no other way to lose the weight, is there?

What about an op? Bypass, or something like that. Heavens no, what is the point when I have such a terrible relationship with food. I hate it and love it too much. Surgery will not fix that problem.

What remains? 247cazza's post was lovely to read, and gave me some hope and made me smile. She, and many, many other posters here on Minis is the reason I have come back 'home', to try again.

There is no other way, really. Question is, how? How will you lose the weight, Flower? Has cazza's post inspired you?

My health is now suffering. I HAVE to stop this and start again if I want to see in more years...

Fingers crossed that 2012 will be THE year I change my mind forever.

Fingers crossed for you too, Flower.
 

tranquility

Gold Member
Start small. Forget about diets, forget about losing weight, forget about scales.

I started by thinking about the nutrition in the food I was eating and then tried to improve it by throwing in a few more fresh foods with meals, trying to eat an extra piece of fruit a day, buying organic goods if they were available at the same price as ordinary stuff, switching from white to brown (bread, pasta, even sugar for baking), checking food labels and seeing how many additives/chemicals were in stuff. Asking myself when making food choices "what is this giving my body?" then making a conscious choice not to take the sweets/crisps option when I could have real food which would rebuild my body.

I then aimed for one junk free day a week which quickly turned into a habit of wanting as many junk free days as possible. After about six months something clicked and I was ready to do the whole diet thing using my own plan of counting calories and keeping carbs under control as that is what works for me.

There will always be bad days, but you can start again the next morning instead of giving up totally and it taking another year or so to try again.

It isn't easy and you won't be perfect but the hardest part is believing "you" are worth the effort. Start small and remember the numbers on the scales often lie. Judge your progress by a tape measure and your clothes getting looser, your skin looking healthy and a generally happier feel to your moods.

One day at a time, and one good day a week is better than seven bad ones.

The most important thing is to remember that you are in control not the food.
 

AmandaJayne

Trainee Maintainer
Start small. Forget about diets, forget about losing weight, forget about scales.

I started by thinking about the nutrition in the food I was eating and then tried to improve it by throwing in a few more fresh foods with meals, trying to eat an extra piece of fruit a day, buying organic goods if they were available at the same price as ordinary stuff, switching from white to brown (bread, pasta, even sugar for baking), checking food labels and seeing how many additives/chemicals were in stuff. Asking myself when making food choices "what is this giving my body?" then making a conscious choice not to take the sweets/crisps option when I could have real food which would rebuild my body.

I then aimed for one junk free day a week which quickly turned into a habit of wanting as many junk free days as possible. After about six months something clicked and I was ready to do the whole diet thing using my own plan of counting calories and keeping carbs under control as that is what works for me.

There will always be bad days, but you can start again the next morning instead of giving up totally and it taking another year or so to try again.

It isn't easy and you won't be perfect but the hardest part is believing "you" are worth the effort. Start small and remember the numbers on the scales often lie. Judge your progress by a tape measure and your clothes getting looser, your skin looking healthy and a generally happier feel to your moods.

One day at a time, and one good day a week is better than seven bad ones.

The most important thing is to remember that you are in control not the food.

Thanks tranquility, I have highlighted the two words that are really helpful to me:D.

Faced with the overwhelming thought of doing yet another 'diet' and wondering how on earth I start back on the 'treadmill' again, your post is a breath of fresh air and sets out clearly how it CAN be achieved in small steps.

I will begin today to take back responsibility for my eating, in a small way at first.

Thank you 247 cazza and thank you Tranquility for these two incredible posts. Thank you too to Flower for your original post...
 

JoeyJoJo

Bring on the weight loss!
247 I recognise some of the things you're saying from a book I have read twice now called "The Beck Diet Solution. Train your brain to think like a thin person" By Judith S Beck.

Its a great book to read if your brain is not cooperating. The Beck Diet Solution is designed to build psychological skills that enables you to:

Make cravings go away - fast!
Resist tempting foods
Deal with 'trigger' eating situations
Say 'No Thankyou' to food pushers
Put an end to emotional eating
Find time to exercise
Lose weight and keep it off for a lifetime!

I would recommend it guys - its helped me to re-train my brain and Ive lost 20 lbs since the beginning of January! X
 

suzy111

Full Member
JoeyJoJo said:
247 I recognise some of the things you're saying from a book I have read twice now called "The Beck Diet Solution. Train your brain to think like a thin person" By Judith S Beck.

Its a great book to read if your brain is not cooperating. The Beck Diet Solution is designed to build psychological skills that enables you to:

Make cravings go away - fast!
Resist tempting foods
Deal with 'trigger' eating situations
Say 'No Thankyou' to food pushers
Put an end to emotional eating
Find time to exercise
Lose weight and keep it off for a lifetime!

I would recommend it guys - its helped me to re-train my brain and Ive lost 20 lbs since the beginning of January! X

These posts are like I've wrote them myself... I re-started slimming world last may ., I think they should have revolving doors on for me:( I've re joined so many times n every time I go back I'm much heavier than before) . I'm an emotional eater n drinker n can't seem to drag myself out of it despite having a fab daughter who loves n supports me all the way, I was feeling brill until about nov last yr and almost had 1.1/2 stone off( need at least 4 off) but wi Xmas n hols I'm back at 8.1/2 lb:(:( I suffer from ME which greatly affects every aspect of my life) so trying to keep up my momentum is a huge struggle but I can't n won't give up !!!!
 

JoeyJoJo

Bring on the weight loss!
Hiya Suzy, if you're an emotional eater/drinker then that book will help you - I promise.

It really does change the way you think :)

Good luck either way X
 

suzy111

Full Member
JoeyJoJo said:
247 I recognise some of the things you're saying from a book I have read twice now called "The Beck Diet Solution. Train your brain to think like a thin person" By Judith S Beck.

Its a great book to read if your brain is not cooperating. The Beck Diet Solution is designed to build psychological skills that enables you to:

Make cravings go away - fast!
Resist tempting foods
Deal with 'trigger' eating situations
Say 'No Thankyou' to food pushers
Put an end to emotional eating
Find time to exercise
Lose weight and keep it off for a lifetime!

I would recommend it guys - its helped me to re-train my brain and Ive lost 20 lbs since the beginning of January! X

Where can I get this book from, it's not at my library????
 

lauriek

New Member
tranquility said:
Start small. Forget about diets, forget about losing weight, forget about scales.

I started by thinking about the nutrition in the food I was eating and then tried to improve it by throwing in a few more fresh foods with meals, trying to eat an extra piece of fruit a day, buying organic goods if they were available at the same price as ordinary stuff, switching from white to brown (bread, pasta, even sugar for baking), checking food labels and seeing how many additives/chemicals were in stuff. Asking myself when making food choices "what is this giving my body?" then making a conscious choice not to take the sweets/crisps option when I could have real food which would rebuild my body.

I then aimed for one junk free day a week which quickly turned into a habit of wanting as many junk free days as possible. After about six months something clicked and I was ready to do the whole diet thing using my own plan of counting calories and keeping carbs under control as that is what works for me.

There will always be bad days, but you can start again the next morning instead of giving up totally and it taking another year or so to try again.

It isn't easy and you won't be perfect but the hardest part is believing "you" are worth the effort. Start small and remember the numbers on the scales often lie. Judge your progress by a tape measure and your clothes getting looser, your skin looking healthy and a generally happier feel to your moods.

One day at a time, and one good day a week is better than seven bad ones.

The most important thing is to remember that you are in control not the food.

Thanks for this, it's exactly what I need to do! Very inspiring!!!
 

MrsC999

Full Member
I've tried hypnosis which did not work for me but something she said always sticks in my mind.... if you lose something - don't you look for it?

So if you try and lose weight most people find it again (or it will find you). The mindset needs to be get RID of the weight.... and you'll feel great!!

What we get rid of we never want back - so I'm geting rid of the fat suit this time XxX
 

Anniewillo

Anniewillo
Hiya

It's been a long time since I been in here. I lost 1 and a half stone in the first half of last year. Then from July we had a few family illnesses and bereavements (family friend and an aunty) so with frequent hosp visits and then arranging stuff it all went pear shaped. I tried in January this year and it took me a couple of weeks to get back into it. But I've now lost about 8lb. I've recently discovered hypnosis (free apps on iPhone/iPad) and am finding it is subtly having an effect on my way of thinking. I have more confidence. Lots more positivity and am THINKING what I'm eating. Taking time and enjoying it. Hypnosis is DEFINATELY something to try. (I thought Paul McKenna was rubbish by the way!)
I've also always hated excercise. Of ANY description. But have a new found love of YOGA! Absolutely LOVE it and am not the slimmest or most bendy person lol. And also Zumba. Excercise. And positive attitude as well as modifications to what you eat (cut down. Dont deprive) will do it for you!
Good luck! :)

Annie x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
I know how you feel - you hate being overweight, you eat because your unhappy and your unhappy because your eating and getting heavier.
I was like this for a long time but in Feb 2012 I joined slimming world. I have found it to be a great diet as your eating proper food, not weight or pointing every thing you eat. I have lost over 3 and half stone since then. I have not always been good on this diet but if things went wrong for me I always went back to group which helped me a lot.
 

orange_blossom

Full Member
247cazza said:
You need to deal with the part of you who who is allergic to the thought of loosing weight, try this. Give it a name and a separate persona then write him/her a goodbye letter. The letter should be positive, do not apportion blame, it was a two way street. Thank him/her for being in your life, make it clear that you both recognise that the time has come to part.
This is a wonderful idea, thank you.
 

sammy1

Silver Member
Taken from another thread. " being fat is hard, dieting is hard, choose your hard". I repeat this several times a day and most times I choose the dieting is hard option. You can also use the saying in other aspects of your life e.g " living with clutter is hard, tidying is hard, choose your hard" .....get the idea. My weight is going down and my house is looking better. Good luck with the weight loss.
 

Faith_111

Silver Member
sammy1 said:
Taken from another thread. " being fat is hard, dieting is hard, choose your hard". I repeat this several times a day and most times I choose the dieting is hard option. You can also use the saying in other aspects of your life e.g " living with clutter is hard, tidying is hard, choose your hard" .....get the idea. My weight is going down and my house is looking better. Good luck with the weight loss.

I like that. Another one I liked was "If you eat what you've always eaten, you'll weigh what you've always weighed"

http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/289931-faith-my-weight-loss-journey.html
 




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