How to take compliments?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Freaky Deaky, 14 March 2011 Social URL.

  1. Freaky Deaky

    Freaky Deaky Full Member

    Posts:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi
    I'm fairly new to this forum but have been doing SW since the beginning of the year and I really love it. It doesn't feel like a diet at all :D

    I'm not going to group but am following it from home with the help of all the information and I have lost about 22lbs so far so it is starting to be noticeable.

    People have now started to comment which is lovely but I'm finding it really difficult :eek:

    I don't want to get complacent and think I look fab because although I look a lot better I still have about another 2 stone to lose.

    How do you react when people comment? I'm just saying Thank you :eek:

    Also I really need to buy some new trousers but I'm so scared of buying any incase I'm tempting fate :cry:

    Its hard to get used to being a different size isn't it - or is it just me??

    FD
    xxx
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,109
    Likes Received:
    216
    I think "Thankyou" is about the best response, unless they are asking about how you did it or something - I always try to be kind responding to people who mention it because it takes a bit of bravery to actually comment, people often dont because they are afraid that you will actually hear "because you were so much fatter before" in invisible words tagged on to the end of the sentence.

    So if someone does say something, I always try and respond nicely, even though it does make me uncomfortable.

    As for the trouser size, you are tempting fate more if you dont get a smaller size and the ones you have fall down!

    I have dropped 6 dress sizes, and I still wake up thinking that I am as big as I ever was and have to adjust my thinking to recognise that I am not. I still find myself looking at the old sized items in the shops, and doubting that I will fit in the ones that are my new size.

    Pretty normal, I reckon!
     
  4. Beegee

    Beegee The Big One

    Posts:
    2,425
    Likes Received:
    23
    Start Weight:
    19st3lb
    Current Weight:
    11st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    7st7lb(39.03%)
    Diet:
    SW Online (Green)
    I agree that it takes some courage for people to make a comment to you so I always try to be very gracious when accepting a compliment. I usually say something along the lines of - oh thanks, that's really kind of you to notice, it's work in progress but I'm getting there type of thing and then people are always interested and ask how I'm doing it and I think they then feel glad they've mentioned it because I'm grateful iyswim? It is fairly hard to get used to heading towards being a more 'normal' size. As I still feel the same on the inside it's difficult to get used to the idea that my body is different.

    Re complacency, I thought the same - I hope this doesn't mean I start to think I'm done because I've still got some way to go. I have trained myself to think that if I get complacent all those kind people who have commented will be making similar observations and thinking things like - what a shame she couldn't keep the weight off. Kind of spurs me on so that the next time I see them they say - I see you're still doing well on the diet. It's worked for me anyway. Good luck x
     
  5. Freaky Deaky

    Freaky Deaky Full Member

    Posts:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you both!

    Madamelaminx - 6 dress sizes that is just fabulous!!

    Beegee - you are right too - if anyone asks I do say that yes I've been trying very hard since the beginning of the year. In fact someone on Saturday said "wow you've lost loads of weight - ohmygod is that really rude?" and I just said that it would have been rude for them to say I'd put on weight but to say I've lost it is fab!! lol!

    I am going to go and buy another pair of trousers when I finish work, you're right. My old ones just don't look that good at all anymore and hopefully it should stop me from being complacent.

    I know what you mean about people thinking oh shame too. Every time I'm tempted I look down at my disappearing (slowly) body and feel like I must carry on.

    Thank you both again

    FD
    xxx
     
  6. Beegee

    Beegee The Big One

    Posts:
    2,425
    Likes Received:
    23
    Start Weight:
    19st3lb
    Current Weight:
    11st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    7st7lb(39.03%)
    Diet:
    SW Online (Green)
    Enjoy your new trousers - it probably won't be long before you're buying the next size down again!
     
  7. Freaky Deaky

    Freaky Deaky Full Member

    Posts:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Didn't get any :cry: think I'm a size 17 or 16.5 lol!

    Size 18's too big and size 16's too tight so will persevere for a bit longer with pulling old ones in with a belt and keep onwards and downwards. Was a bit down about it at first but in fact its given me another kick up the backside, which can only be a good thing :D
     
  8. Beegee

    Beegee The Big One

    Posts:
    2,425
    Likes Received:
    23
    Start Weight:
    19st3lb
    Current Weight:
    11st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    7st7lb(39.03%)
    Diet:
    SW Online (Green)
    Snap - me too! I'm putting off buying new things til I can fit into a 16 more comfortably. Glad that not quite fitting has spurred you on!
     
  9. IanH

    IanH Silver Member

    Posts:
    633
    Likes Received:
    48
    Start Weight:
    27st8.5lb
    Current Weight:
    11st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st10.5lb
    Lost(%):
    15st11.5lb(57.31%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World (but it ain't a diet)
    My typical response is a simple "Thanks" or "Thanks, it's been one hell of a journey but I'm almost there". It can be tough to accept the compliments at times - to get complimented is extremely flattering however sometimes a bit annoying and too many in short succession starts to grate with me.

    No-one every means anything other then a compliment when they comment about your weight-loss, just sometimes people's command of language lets them down. I had one person (who i didn't recognise) at the weekend say to me "you used to be really fat didn't you?" and I've also had one occurance of someone commenting to someone else (within my hearing range) "What has he done to himself?". but they meant well - just probably didn't have the words (or in the first case smarts) to put the words out properly.

    But to balance that out - I had two occassions recently at a wedding reception i was invited to:

    From two of the guests - "Oh wow - you've done so well - and proved it can be done - and after seeing just how well we've decided to join on Monday" (don't know if they have but just to hear that).

    "After seeing your pictures on facebook - i thought if he can do it, so can I" - the bride.

    (Mind you I was also asked recently by someone - "why are you here? You don't look like you need to be at Slimming World" "I don't look like I need to be here, because I am here" was my response).

    In the end though - just take them as the compliment they were intended as, smile and say thank you. Even the badly worded ones. (and then laugh/seeth/moan about them later) :)
     
  10. smegs1978

    smegs1978 Member

    Posts:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have been doing sw since nov 10 and have lost nearly 2 stone. When people first started noticing I had lost weight, like u I found it really hard to accept the compliment but now I love it as it gives me a real buzz.

    I used to be a size 18 but am now a 16 on top and 14 on the bottom. Although some of my size 14 jeans are getting to big but a size 12 is a little on the tight side.

    When I first got into my 14 jeans I just never believed I could be in that size and kept saying to my partner they must have put the wrong size in them.

    Even now I still find it hard to believe how much I have lost.

    Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
     
  11. Harrigoose

    Harrigoose Full Member

    Posts:
    100
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    75.3kg
    Current Weight:
    67.59kg
    Goal Weight:
    63.05kg
    Lost(%):
    7.7kg(10.24%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    A compliment is a compliment and you deserve it as a pat on the back for working towards your goal. I think i would be more conscious if others didn't notice.

    Most people have probably never noticed or thought about your size until you don't look "quite the same" as you did, and feeling good about our weight loss helps to build a new confidence that others will notice more.

    Keep up the good work and enjoy each step closer.
     
  12. Little strawberry

    Little strawberry Full Member

    Posts:
    356
    Likes Received:
    6
    Start Weight:
    12st11lb
    Current Weight:
    8st8lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st10lb
    Lost(%):
    4st3lb(32.96%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I always just say thanks and smile. However I do get embarrassed n people mention how skinny I now am and have notice I start to cover my belly with my arm/hand.
    Even though I've dropped 3 sizes and am at target sometimes I find it hard to believe that I am now skinny and always take a number of sizes to the changing rooms to try on as I don't believe the 8 will fit, even though it does now lol

    Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
     
  13. EmmyLou30

    EmmyLou30 Silver Member

    Posts:
    774
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    16st6lb
    Current Weight:
    15st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st6lb(8.7%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Not many people have noticed my weight loss and some have only just said something as they were a bit wary about commenting before I openly said I was going to SW classes. Probably because they worry about the unspoken ''cause you used to be much fatter' end of the sentence that might be imagined.

    I usually just say 'thanks, I've a way to go yet but it's a start'. That's probably the eternal pesimist in me though not giving myself enough credit for what I've achieved and putting a negative slant on my response. I should just stop at thanks!

    The most irritating thing to me is when people say 'oh your thyroid tablets must be working now then' as if they're magically melting the fat off me. I do unfortunately feel the need to correct them (well they don't have a medical degree or knowledge of the problem afterall so how would they know) and probably bore people. But all the tablets do is stop the weight gain.....I now have to diet and exercise like everyone else to lose the weight - only harder than most people because of the thyroid thing!

    Well done on your loses, and like you I'm wondering why there's such a huge difference between a size 16 and an 18!! My 18's are falling down but 16's are still too tight!
     
  14. mojomcl

    mojomcl Silver Member

    Posts:
    946
    Likes Received:
    24
    Start Weight:
    20st5lb
    Current Weight:
    20st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    I can totally relate here :)
    I'm losing slowy but steadily - I only lose at the rate of a little over a stone a year (although THIS is the year I work out htf to speed that up!). As it's been so gradual, I sometimes struggle to believe I was bigger, or am smaller. Just last week I ordered a fancy dress outfit, and was sure it'd be a struggle to get into so ordered a plus size (old habits die hard). The size 22/24 that cam MAY have been about right three years ago.....but the size 16 I swapped it for is actually what I needed! But sometimes I just can't get my head round that I'm now a fairly average size :D
     
  15. Bobbina

    Bobbina Full Member

    Posts:
    52
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    14st0lb
    Current Weight:
    13st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st13lb(6.63%)
    Diet:
    Cutting down
    My boyfriend's mum always comments on my weight and I hate it lol. Even when I'd lost like 2lb she'd notice and go on about it. So this time when she came down to visit me and my boyfriend I'd lost like 8lbish and she was like ''wow you've lost some weight'' I was like ''ummm ummm, have I?'' (whilst going bright red). I hate it when people comment on my weight for some reason even when it's nice his mum is a little OTT though and obsessed with weight.

    You should definitely go and buy some new trousers, I was sprinting across the road the other day and my jeans nearly fell to the floor, you don't want that to happen to you do you!? :D I know what you mean though, I went into a shop to try jeans on, and when they were too baggy (my usual size) I was like ''they must be a big fit or something''. But you definitely need to get some new trousers show off your new figure, you're not tempting fate atall just wearing clothes that fit, woo!
     
  16. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,816
    Likes Received:
    82
    Diet:
    SW all the way
    This last week is the frist time since I started SW where people have started to notice my weight loss, and I have really struggled with it - not knowing what to say, and inexplicably, it made me want to go off plan, which sounds completely mental I know. I have also been putting off buying new clothes for fear of tempting fate, but yesterday, along with committing to plan for the whole of the week, I ordered myself some new trousers in a Size 18. Now I just need to see if I can get into them!
     
  17. Freaky Deaky

    Freaky Deaky Full Member

    Posts:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you all for your thoughts on this - it is so hard isn't it? We work very hard to lose the weight and then when people notice we feel a bit :eek:

    Its good to know I'm not on my own in feeling like this though so thanks!!

    How did they fit?

    I know what you mean about going off plan too with the compliments - I don't know why on earth I react like that. This week I've started to feel so much more "normal" (god I hate that word) and almost forget that I've still got a way to go but I will most definitely get there and will store the compliments away to take out at a later date when I need them :D
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,816
    Likes Received:
    82
    Diet:
    SW all the way
    I don't get them till tomorrow! But buying them has really motivated me this week to stay on plan as I don't want them to be a waste of money.
    I think storing up the compliments is defiantely a good idea. We all have low moments or have times when someone doesn't notice when we want them to and we need ot guard against these.

    I'm also glad I'm not the only one who feels like going off plan when someone says something nice!
     
  20. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,816
    Likes Received:
    82
    Diet:
    SW all the way
    Woo hoo! They fit me! Did a little dance round my livng room - OH thinks i've gone a bit mental and i don't care!!!!!
     
  21. PurpleSky

    PurpleSky banana phone

    Posts:
    1,105
    Likes Received:
    7
    Start Weight:
    17st8lb
    Current Weight:
    13st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    4st8lb(26.02%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    I'mn quite terrible and a lot of compliementsi really cant take i just say thank you and leaveit as that asi dont feel i;ve done enough so farto be given them.
     
  22. solo12

    solo12 Guest

    I am exactly the same, 18s really baggy and can't fasten a 16! Like you say just makes me want to work that bit harder lol

    I am shocking with compliments 1. Because I feel like just over 1.5 stone down with about another 4.5 to lose I don't look any different (my clothes say I'm getting smaller but my head doesn't) 2. It takes me completely by surprise - example a couple of weeks ago someone I see weekly ish said 'have you lost weight?' I was so embarrassed the first thing that came out of my mouth was 'not that I know of!!!' what was that about?!? I feel better & am proud I'm losing just get so embarrassed by attention :(
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...