i feel really mean

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by gemma_, 2 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    ever since i can remember even as a child i been chunky- puppyfat-overweight-pregnant-fat lol
    and ever since i can remember i've had my slim mum telling me im all this... anyway she packed up smoking on jan 1st and she's piled it on shes gained 4st going from her normal size 12 to almost size 18! shes always complaining ive told her to come sw with me but she keeps saying no and scoffing on chocolateto replace smoking.

    but part of me wants to behave like a child stick my tongue out and say now you know how it feels... as everyone at work keeps saying to her you've put on weight etc!

    but my mum keeps saying she was slim and ate chocolate she just needs cut chocolate down :s

    but in another way i know how she felt with me having overweight daughter how can you help someone who wont help themself?

    still :p
     
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  3. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    I think all you can do is offer support and that is all you can do. But remember to look after your self, I have a horrid relationship with my sister and think that labels are so over rated!
     
  4. teens74

    teens74 Full Member

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    it is interesting when people gain/lose weight... whether it is you or people around you

    I find it facisnating and would love to do some sort of counselling for people in regards to this

    My mum was always super skinny and stopped smoking and gained weight, granted she isnt overweight like I am and she isnt HUGE by any means however she is bigger than she should be (she is very dinky and has a bad back) so the strain on her little body from the extra pounds is not good. She phones me and complains it wont come off and i have told her to cut out biscuits and eat proper meals instead of ready meal rubbish but she wont listen. Also she wont do any exercise yet she expects the lbs to drop off lol i say to her you have to work at it

    For years and years I know she never understood my issues with food and weight and now i think she understands

    Ramble over lol

    x
     
  5. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    yea I agree.. my mum walk alot always as and thats always been enough, but now it isn't and she don't understand that she needs to eat properly (shes junk fod addict always as been) she'll happily eat takeaways everynight... took me 3 years living in my own house with partner to get out the habit too! that was only 6 weeks ago.

    only thing that still hurts me as she keeps saying all your 'other' side of family are big your never going to be a size 12!
    but its made me super determined now to be a compfy size 12!
     
  6. jojothejo

    jojothejo Full Member

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    I think it's one of those situations whereby we know we shouldnt take any kind of pleasure from it, but we still do.

    If I were you, although I wouldnt want to see my mother feeling bad about herself, i'd be happy that she's finally seeing things from a bigger persons POV. Maybe now she's in the same boat as you, she'll be a bit more considerate with her comments because she now knows how it feels.

    Really, we should all rise above it, but stuff like this happens to me, I should'nt admit this but I look at the person in question and inwardly go 'ha!'.
    Like there were girls in school who used to look down on me for being bigger and now, 10 years later, they've had babies or whatever and got bigger and I'm now smaller than them. I would never say anything to their face, because I know how it made me feel, and I would never ever judge someone based on their weight, given that I used to weigh over 19 stone, but it does give me a certain satisfaction.

    Basically your not mean, your human and perhaps it's a good thing because your mother will see how it feels to be on the receiving end of such comments and change her thinking :)
     
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  7. Mummoth

    Mummoth Silver Member

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    Next time she mentions that someone at work has said something about her weight, I think I'd say something like "It's hurtful isn't it mum?" and just leave that thought with her .......

    Meantime keep telling her about your successes at SW & how they can help her to tackle her choccy addiction!
     
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  8. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    yea the recent comment about me never being a size 12 was last night after i told her i gained a 1lb... she still see's herself as slimmer as she was slim so she thinks its going to be easier 4 her..

    i've been nice about it im not nasty it as been different for me though to see my mum is same boat as me and part of me is like right she knows how it feels now just lose the weight again.

    but i hate being this size and dont want my mum feeling same way...
     
  9. Purple_Star

    Purple_Star Silver Member

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    Awww hon, you aren't being mean at all. I hope shes able to get this under control before she gains more, but well done to her for quitting smoking, shes done really well xxx
     
  10. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    i know im really proud of her ....:)
     
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