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I had an ephiphany

#1
Warning - the following is a long rambling from my mind, sorry just wanted to get it out!....

I am reading a book at the moment about food addiction and its one of those books where every few paragraphs you stop and go "Wow, I did that too". It was a bit explaining about how addiction cans sometimes be passed down through families without awareness. I thought about my son and I realised how anxious I am if he doesnt have his meals on time. If he is late for breakfast/lunch/tea I get really worried even panicy perhaps in case he feels hungry. It occured to me that it is normal for people to feel hungry before they eat and if he picks up on my need to never have him feel hungry then what message is that sending, that hungry is bad... I am careful about not calling sweet things a treat and not making him eat everything but to stop when he wants but the strictness I have about meal times did not even occur to me. So now I know - I am glad he is still only little and I have not done any damage (I hope).

The other thought I had was following a run in with an older lady in boots (she stopped abruptly and my push chair didnt - I apologised perfusely but she still decided to have a - very loud - go at me in the store) I was so mortified and couldnt get it out of my head for hours. Most people would probably have forgotten about it but literally all night I kept thinking, was I in the wrong, what could I have done etc etc. So it also occured to me just how much I worry about what other people think of me, I am desperate for everyone to like me so mush so that it at times makes me a victim. Even on this site I think about what I am typing cos I am so desperate to make a good impression. So that was my second ephiphany, I have to stop worrying so much about what other people think and just believe in myself (easier said than done methinks).

Naturally for me the result of all this thinking (my head hurts!) was another poem:

There's a little part inside of me
that can't believe it's true
That I can really come alive
turn into someone new

There's a little voice inside my head
that tells me to give up
The mountain's just too far to climb
I'll never reach the top

But there's a beat inside my heart
that tells me now's the time
for me to drown those voices out
for me at last to shine

2 steps forward, 1 step back
the path ahead is long
and I know at times i'll have to push
to keep me feeling strong

So I cling onto that spark inside
that tells me that it's true
that if you wish it hard enough
some dreams do come true.


Thanks for listening xxxxxxxxxxxx
 
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S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
#2
Very good realisations Sappho!!! Don't you just love epiphany's!!! (love the word too! :D) I completely relate to you worryingabout what people think, though I wouldnever admit to it becaue I would worry what they think!! ;) :) he he he. Seriously, I do understand those feeling!!s

And a very nice poem too!!! :)
 
#3
Sappho, you are an incredible lady. Your poetry is awesome. You are on a steep learning curve. Nobody ever said it was easy but I really feel you have the strength to go all the way and become the person you always should have been :)
 
S: 19st8lb C: 18st9lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 0st13lb(4.74%)
#4
Sappho... What book are you reading? it sounds interesting.

love your poem.. do you write alot?

Interesting about it being passed on through families, i am struggling (but slowly winning) to overcome a lifetime of dodgy food messages passed on by my mum (particularly), and can completely see how it can be passed on without anyone realising.
 
#5
Sappho... What book are you reading? it sounds interesting.

love your poem.. do you write alot?quote]

Its Why Can't I stop Eating? Debbie Danowski & Pedro Lazaro M.D.

Yes writing little poems is something I have always done, it is like my diary. I also just stated selling some of them and am doing quite a few.
 
#6
Sappho, you are an incredible lady. Your poetry is awesome. You are on a steep learning curve. Nobody ever said it was easy but I really feel you have the strength to go all the way and become the person you always should have been :)

Thank you, thats such a lovely thing to say. I wouldnt say I am incredible and my poems are just something I have always done but in light of my ephiphany I say thank you and yes I think I am a good person :) You are all inspiring to me I just hope I do as well as everyone.
 
#9
:thankyou:Another lovely poem Sappo.
 




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