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I hope you don't mind me having a little whine... **UPDATED**

tulip85x

Silver Member
S: 16st0lb C: 15st9.0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
#1
I've been a bit stupid... (understatment, massive)

I'm getting married in May next year, the wedding has been booked since April 2010 because OH fell in love with the venue, and since I have control over most other things - He's not interested in the "little things", I let him have that, even though the thought of the carpet makes me shudder! I'm not a snob though and I do like the rest of the place!

Anyhoo... I never actually realised I had to book the registrar myself! (The really irritating part of this is that OH has just txt me to tell me it is in the brochure they gave us)! So I've spent all afternoon phoning around trying to sort something out (whilst bad mouthing everyone, venue, registry office etc)...

The end result? Wedding was booked at 1pm, the only time I can get a registrar is 4pm. The only viable option at the moment is to accept it and to do away the wedding breakfast part of the day, just have nibbles after the ceremony then the evening buffet as planned.

I am absolutely devastated :( It's worse because I know this is my own fault, and that it could have been helped had I of read my brochure properly...

I'm awaiting a phonecall on Monday to see if anything else can be done...

I know there's not much that anyone can help me with, I just needed to vent.

Thanks to anyone that read my ramble!

x x
 
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mummy84

Full Member
S: 10st13lb C: 9st13lb G: 8st12lb BMI: 28.1 Loss: 1st0lb(9.15%)
#2
Aww bless you :) Im getting married in April next year but mines been very chaotic too has I only booked it earlier this year lol.
 

tulip85x

Silver Member
S: 16st0lb C: 15st9.0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
#3
Is mentals!

I've just fumbled my way through the whole planning thing... I always thought I'd be like Monica from Friends with files and stuff, but it hasn't planned out that way!

I hope the chaotic part is over for you now :)

x x
 

BeckyT

Always trying!
S: 13st10.5lb C: 9st6lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 21.3 Loss: 4st4.5lb(31.43%)
#4
Hi hun

Something similar happened to me. I booked the venue but could only get a registrar for 10am and we really wanted to get married about 2pm. As it happened I changed my venue to my dream venue as they had a wedding package that was superb.

Could you try a different registary office to see if they have any registrars available for earlier in the day? if the answer is no, is there any chance you could slide the date you get married by a week or two so that you can defo get a registrar at the time you want? x
 

Hannahkw1

Silver Member
S: 15st3.5lb C: 12st10.5lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 26.4 Loss: 2st7lb(16.39%)
#5
Haha!!! Love the reference to Monica! I will so be like that!!!

Do you have to have a certain registrar? (the spelling of that so doesn't look right!!) Could you not ring around some more in the local ish area and find one that's free at 1pm?
 

tulip85x

Silver Member
S: 16st0lb C: 15st9.0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
#6
Thanks Ladies :)

Apparently you can only have a registrar (this may be the wrong spelling :S) from the district you're getting married in, which I didn't know...

Postponing is an option, will just be if the venue/photographer etc can accomodate us!

Stress!!

x x
 

NiaX

Silver Member
#7
Oh no! Nightmare :(

Wait to hear from them and then look at your other options. I'm sure you'll be able to do something. Good luck!
 

Sio

Full Member
#8
Can you get an officiant to do a ceremony for you at 1pm, then spend 15 min at 4pm doing the legal bit. No-one needs to know lol You could still have readings, vows, exchange of rings etc at the earlier time, plus time for photos, then the legal bit before dinner?
 

*EB*

Gold Member
#9
Can you get an officiant to do a ceremony for you at 1pm, then spend 15 min at 4pm doing the legal bit. No-one needs to know lol You could still have readings, vows, exchange of rings etc at the earlier time, plus time for photos, then the legal bit before dinner?
Good suggestion!

Plan b - I would try to move it to another date at the same place and explain to the venue coordinator an your photographer.

Hope it all works out babe x
 

tulip85x

Silver Member
S: 16st0lb C: 15st9.0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
#11
Can you get an officiant to do a ceremony for you at 1pm, then spend 15 min at 4pm doing the legal bit. No-one needs to know lol You could still have readings, vows, exchange of rings etc at the earlier time, plus time for photos, then the legal bit before dinner?
Thank you for this! My OH had a similar idea, but it involved the Church of Elvis and I wasn't really willing to go there! I only wish that was a joke...

I actually know a Minister personally, and a Deacon through the family, but when I suggested this to my venue they dismissed it as we're having a civil ceremony so (sorry if I word this really badly, I only have a vague idea of what I'm talking about!) you can't have religious things, hymns, prayers etc - in your civil ceremony.

But according to Google (Oh how I love thee) *some* Ministers can perform civil ceremonies? Though I dunno if this is quite an American thing... I'll check up today, and maybe get him speak to the venue!

x x
 

tulip85x

Silver Member
S: 16st0lb C: 15st9.0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
#12
Good suggestion!

Plan b - I would try to move it to another date at the same place and explain to the venue coordinator an your photographer.

Hope it all works out babe x
I think this is the plan! The unfortunate part of that is we were having the Sunday Bank Holiday in May! By moving it to a Saturday we'd hitch our costs up, and another Sunday just means more guests are likely to decline due to work on the Monday, mostly friends who are teachers and stuff! But if that's what has to be done, it has to be done!! Could always look at a Friday wedding :)

Thank you Hun :)

x x
 
#14
Friday weddings are brill! Everyone has an extra day to recover afterwards -plus i think they are abit cheaper!

I hope you get it all sorted hun. Can't tell you how glad i am that i went abroad to get married. I'd never have coped with the stress of trying to organise one here x
 

fillymum

synful soul
S: 107kg C: 85kg G: 79kg BMI: 33.2 Loss: 22kg(20.56%)
#15
I think your little whine now deserves a little wine lol !!!:party0036:
Stay calm and examine every option before you get too stressed.
Would it be possible to have the ceremony in the church/chapel of your minister or deacon friends?

I hope all turns out well,

hugs xxx
 

Funky_Munky

Put the kettle on
S: 10st12lb C: 10st12lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#16
tulip85x said:
Thank you for this! My OH had a similar idea, but it involved the Church of Elvis and I wasn't really willing to go there! I only wish that was a joke...

I actually know a Minister personally, and a Deacon through the family, but when I suggested this to my venue they dismissed it as we're having a civil ceremony so (sorry if I word this really badly, I only have a vague idea of what I'm talking about!) you can't have religious things, hymns, prayers etc - in your civil ceremony.

But according to Google (Oh how I love thee) *some* Ministers can perform civil ceremonies? Though I dunno if this is quite an American thing... I'll check up today, and maybe get him speak to the venue!

x x
In Scotland they can cos my sister did this in Gretna.

From what i can recall in England, the actual proper 'legal' bit needs to be non-religious. You can have a seperate religious service at your venue, like a blessing, but it wouldnt be legally binding. You would still need a registrar. I think a vicar/minister can only legally marry you in church. Have you considered this?

Hope this makes sense! The best thing to do is get a wedding mag cos they always have bits at the back explaining the legal stuff!!
 

HPSaucy

Will get there one day!
S: 17st8lb C: 14st8.5lb Loss: 2st13.5lb(16.87%)
#17
How about if you and hubby to be and a few close family go to a register office the day before, few days before, or even week before and do it officially, then on the day you'd planned to get married you could have a ceremony etc but don't think you'd need a registrar as you'd legally already be married so could do it at the time you planned and just have someone run it.

Years ago at work a lady wanted to get married in a church but her husband had been married before so in the morning they went to a register office, got married and then had a blessing in the church, most people didn't even realise!
 

Mrs.S.

Gold Member
S: 18st3lb C: 18st1lb G: 14st0lb BMI: 37.4 Loss: 0st2lb(0.78%)
#18
HPSaucy said:
How about if you and hubby to be and a few close family go to a register office the day before, few days before, or even week before and do it officially, then on the day you'd planned to get married you could have a ceremony etc but don't think you'd need a registrar as you'd legally already be married so could do it at the time you planned and just have someone run it.

Years ago at work a lady wanted to get married in a church but her husband had been married before so in the morning they went to a register office, got married and then had a blessing in the church, most people didn't even realise!
Seen this done a few times!! Can't see why this wouldn't work.

Good luck with whatever you decide xx
 
#19
Awww hope you get what you want in the end :(

I think that the venue is a little naughty here. I used to plan weddings as part of my job while I worked in the hotel industry & important things like this shouldn't be left to just being read in a brochure, the co-ordinator at your venue should really have pointed this out to you too - would have save a heck of a lot of hassle/worry!! x
 

tulip85x

Silver Member
S: 16st0lb C: 15st9.0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
#20
I think your little whine now deserves a little wine lol !!!:party0036:
Stay calm and examine every option before you get too stressed.
Would it be possible to have the ceremony in the church/chapel of your minister or deacon friends?

I hope all turns out well,

hugs xxx
In Scotland they can cos my sister did this in Gretna.

From what i can recall in England, the actual proper 'legal' bit needs to be non-religious. You can have a seperate religious service at your venue, like a blessing, but it wouldnt be legally binding. You would still need a registrar. I think a vicar/minister can only legally marry you in church. Have you considered this?

Hope this makes sense! The best thing to do is get a wedding mag cos they always have bits at the back explaining the legal stuff!!
How about if you and hubby to be and a few close family go to a register office the day before, few days before, or even week before and do it officially, then on the day you'd planned to get married you could have a ceremony etc but don't think you'd need a registrar as you'd legally already be married so could do it at the time you planned and just have someone run it.

Years ago at work a lady wanted to get married in a church but her husband had been married before so in the morning they went to a register office, got married and then had a blessing in the church, most people didn't even realise!
Thanks you lovelies :)

Whilst I have nothing against church or relgious ceremonies I don't think they're for us. Personally I'd rather move it than do it, but we are considering it as an option!

If worst comes to it I am really hoping this officiant idea can work, I worried at first it wouldn't be a valid idea and it might even feel like a mickey mouse wedding, but if no one knows I think I can live with it! Only problem is I have no idea what the venue will say and I guess theirs is the final word on it!

x x
 


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