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i seem to be on self destruct mode.

Debz

Cambridge Counsellor
#4
Good for you. Aren't the weekends the pits for trying not to eat. Have loads of water to fill your stomach up and hopefully there won't be any more room for food.
 

Misdee

Silver Member
#7
usually i would advise people to get out and do soemthign else, drink more wwater etc etc. but today is sunday. i cant leave the house. i have cleaned the place from end to end, sorted uniforms, changed bedlinen, everything.

the stupid thig is is that i have a tetra out ready for a lovely thick shake.
 

natayou

a bit different everyday
#8
awww love
sorry you have had a blip, it is tough with a family, and also you have added stresses to cope with, food has been a crutch ,a source of comfort for a long time, It is a habit that cannot be broken instantly, yes cd is a great diet, but it is not a magic formula, it will not remove cravings it will not remove the desire to feel comforted by food, part of this journey is identifying WHY you eat and learning to correct that for future sucess, dont be disheartened, you are still learning to control the emotions that us overeaters feel in connection with food, you CAN overcome them , you CAN !!
I am afraid that sometimes you just need to grit your teeth and turn away from the food you desire. It will get easier !
as for tooday, its over, put it behind you and move on to tomorrow, drink plenty of water and look forward to making a fresh start with renewed determination !!
best of luck
shout if you are struggling
nat xxxxxx
 

KD

Gone fishing
#9
Okay...so my more sensitive side:eek: says "I don't blame you one iota!" Then my more sensible side knocks on the door.

So...has it solved anything? Is Peter any better because you ate? Are the kids happier? Did it make the phone ring? Nah. But what about you? How do you feel?

Was it just a moment of pleasure and now you feel awful, or are pleased you ate that now? A chance for you to do something for you??

Is there something else you could have done to relieve the anxiety for at a least a moment?
 

DQ

Queen of the Damned
#10
Well looks to me like you can't eat anymore cos you're on here chatting with us. You can't eat without offering it around so no more food and keep us company.
 

Misdee

Silver Member
#11
Okay...so my more sensitive side:eek: says "I don't blame you one iota!" Then my more sensible side knocks on the door.

So...has it solved anything? Is Peter any better because you ate? Are the kids happier? Did it make the phone ring? Nah. But what about you? How do you feel?

Was it just a moment of pleasure and now you feel awful, or are pleased you ate that now? A chance for you to do something for you??

Is there something else you could have done to relieve the anxiety for at a least a moment?

no it hasnt solved anything, the phone didnt ring, the kids are still monkeys, i feel terrible and bloated. i feel guilty as hell.

relieve anxiety? no idea. i dont often do nail varnish when kids are up after a duvet painting session, so cant do nails. head was just throbbing.
 

KD

Gone fishing
#12
i feel guilty as hell.
No need to feel guilty. You did what you felt you had to do under the circumstances.

I am curious though. What's your motivation. This must be a hard time to do a VLCD, guess you must have a really good reason to do it now?
 

Misdee

Silver Member
#13
my motivation, being healthy. there is two ways this is going to end. in either case, i will outlive my husband based on statistics of a good 15years post transplant. My children will be teenagers. I want to be healthy and be able to look after them and my husband. rejection can be worse than heart failure, have done heart failure and he has beaten it with his machine. I tried to do LL 2 years ago, but he wasnt stable, and we almost lost him one weekend. icrumbled and put back on the weight i;d lost on LL, and have been kicking myself ever since as maybe by now i wouldnt be doing this now. BUT i cant change that. I cant change this families fortunes, or see what will happen in the future, but what I can do is do something about the thing that stops me doing a heck of a lot, makes me self conscience, makes me cry, makes me ache, makes me feel ill, and that is sort out my weight. In the two years since trying LL, i have tried WW, SW and slimfast. I am great at dropping the firs 6lbs then i lose faith in myself and want to wrap my flab around myself like a blanket. I dont want to do that anymore. I want to do this now, this is for me as well as my family.
 

KD

Gone fishing
#14
I want to do this now, this is for me as well as my family.
Excellent! That's what I want to hear. This is what you want. Go for it. Okay...so you've had a little blip, move on.

Do this for you, because this is what you want. This is something you can control...when everything else seems out of your hands.
 

pompeyfan

Full Member
S: 12st9lb C: 12st9lb G: 10st9lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#18
Don't keep beating yourself up. What's done is done, and tomorrow is another day when you can put it behind you and completely start afresh. I firmly believe that anyone that can be 100% good in their 1st wk of Cambridge can stick to it. One blip is not the end of the world, it might just prove to be an uncomfortable leeson though.
All the best from now on, you can do this xxxx:p
 
#19
Hey Misdee. I think I'm not the only person in the world who understands how you are feeling at the moment. Sometimes, binges come and bite you on the bum without you even realising it. When this happens to me, I feel guilty, disgusting, stupid, bla bla bla, insert your own word here - it's just a horrid horrid feeling.

I sometimes feel so jealous of 'normal people' who don't have to deal with the constant 'white noise' of 'eat this, i want this, i won't let myself eat this, oh yes i will, shove it down, eat more more more, stop it, no I'm not going to stop it, eat eat eat eat EAT', that I have to listen to when it gets difficult.

I think that when your head is making these noises, it's really hard not to listen to them. After all, I'm 27, food has been my friend, my companion, my comforter, for years and years!

The point I'm at now, is that sometimes, I win, and sometimes I don't. When I win, it is by taking myself out of the food situation, even for a second . Then I have a think about what it is that is making me want to eat so badly. (so, for example, at work. Can't leave work. Would get sacked. But I can go to the toilet and take a few deep breaths and think about what it is that is making me want to eat so badly). A lot of the time, the reasons are things I can't do anything about. Sometimes they are, and so I do something about it. But often I am left having to think 'X is not worth getting fatter for' and trying to do something else. The days I win, I feel a lot better about myself the next day than I do on the days I don't win.

This is a learning process. You didn't get fat overnight, and you won't learn how to be slim overnight. But you DO deserve to get there in the end, and I hope that you will.

D x

P.S. Sorry if you now think I'm a nutter, if you do, please don't judge!!!
 


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