If only id known

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by SO MUCH TO LOSE!, 9 November 2009 Social URL.

  1. SO MUCH TO LOSE!

    SO MUCH TO LOSE! Must do it this time

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    Start Weight:
    19st9lb
    Current Weight:
    14st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st11lb
    Lost(%):
    5st9lb(28.73%)
    Diet:
    CD ss+
    I wish i knew last year when i started cd for the 1st time what i know now......that the 1st time on cd is the golden time :cry:

    This time last year i had lost 4st on cd and another stone on my own and felt great but then it all went horribly wrong somewhere along the line.I got lazy i suppose..eating what i wanted when i wanted:break_diet:

    I lost all that weight in 5 months and to be honest i really dont think that my brain had caught up with my body as now i have piled it all back on again and feel so horrible and disgusting that i dont want to go anywhere or do anything.I feel so depressed and paranoid its just not me at all and i hate feeling like this,i hate being this paranoid .
    I wont let my partner near me i dress in the dark or a seperate room,i so long to be slim again and i know that only i can do it but i just dont seem to have it in me anymore,and the more i try and fail the more depressed i get,which leads to me eating even more:cry::cry:

    I feel everybodies looking at me thinking how bad i look and saying the weight didnt stay off me for very long,as i can see the way people look at me(not paranoid on this i can assure you).

    Anyway i know that there are alot of you who feel the exact same as me but at least you are doing something about it,i was supposed to start today but due to me not getting an answer to my frozen tetras question i couldnt and really dont have the money to spend on more packs unless necessary,which i hope i wont have to.

    Im so sad and feel so alone and im crying as i write this as i know that every feeling that i have is all down to my own doing and ive nobody else to blame but myself.

    I do apoligise for rambling on but i feel that this is the place for me to just let it all out(dont want to talk to my oh about this),apoligies for rambling and im not expecting any replies,

    thanx to anyone for taking the time to read

    good luck to you all,

    Elaine:break_diet:
     
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  3. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    Goal Weight:
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    You are doing something about it :)

    This is a positive step forward

    Hold your head high and keep strong x x
     
  4. misspinkkat

    misspinkkat Can hug her knees :)

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    Start Weight:
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    Lost(%):
    3st13lb(23.31%)
    Diet:
    CD. Ss
    Hunni you are in the right place, sorry you didn't get an answer about the frosen tetras, do you have a CDC? Could you check with them? Or eat them as ice cream chilly I know for November but would put you back on track, I know you said you wish you knew before, but the fact that you know now, will prevent it from happening again when you loose what you want to (((hugs))) xx
     
  5. shell09

    shell09 Silver Member

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    Current Weight:
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    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    3st11lb(19.41%)
    Diet:
    TFR
    hi hun

    dont feel like this... theres really no need! if people aare really thinking those things so what..... use it as motivation lose it again and keep it off this time u can do it! thats the best way of sticking two fingers up still coming out smelling of roses.

    i wish i knew the answer re ur packs, id take a guess n say they might not be harmfull so as to make you sick but prob lost alot of their nutritional values so reckon a cdc wouldn't advise using... thats just my oppinion.

    i know its not the cheapest diet but ul save money on other areas such as nights out minus the booze n if u drive then minus the cabs :) if ur anything like me then lunches at work n the odd take away here n there naughty things from the corner shop etc all adds up and u wont be as worse off as u think.

    if you really just cannot afford it maybe go carb free eating a high protein low fat diet which will be good prep for ehrn u can get back on cd!

    im not in any teams here but it could be a good idea to join one for a bit more support etc... or failing that billy no mates here (me lol) will be a team of two with you.

    i can see your current weight is close to my starting weight and in no time you can be heading back to where you wanna be.

    if at all poss id say throw the old packs away call it a new start book to seee a cdc tomorrow and get the packs u need n firmly back on that wagon girly!!! il hold u on if need be :)

    week 1 = 8lb
    week 2&3 = 8lb
    week 4 = 2lb
    week 5&6 = 9lb
    week 7 = 4lb
    week 8&9 = 8lb

    starting weight 244lb
    target weight 147lb
    losses to date 38lb
    still to loose 59lb
     
  6. Suzie_

    Suzie_ Full Member

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    :hug99: The first time might be the 'golden' time, but I promise you that it's perfectly possible to get it right again.

    I wish I could answer the tetra question with some authority though I really can't imagine that there'd be a problem with them so long as you ate them within 24hrs of defrosting, just like with other frozen foods. But while you're waiting for a definitive answer, you could start cutting down your carb intake, to make it easier for when you do get started.

    Please don't feel ashamed or hide yourself away! You've committed no crime, okay? You've done what nearly all of us (certainly me :() have done at some stage or another - that's lost weight, and then regained some.

    But regardless of whether you're big or small, nothing can stop you from being a beautiful person, okay? Don't let what you think other people are thinking dictate to you how you should feel! I bet your partner loves you no matter what size you are, but feels upset that you hate how you look.

    You can do this. But you need to set yourself some easy-to-hit short term goals so that you can start feeling successful rather than a failure. Aim to get through just one CD day, then 2, then 3. Don't set yourself up to fail. Don't start calculating how much you might lose before Christmas - I find every time I do that, I fall off the wagon (no idea why :eek:). You'll lose weight on Cambridge, guaranteed. At this stage, it doesn't even matter how much - just get started!

    :grouphugg:
     
  7. SO MUCH TO LOSE!

    SO MUCH TO LOSE! Must do it this time

    Posts:
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    Start Weight:
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    Current Weight:
    14st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st11lb
    Lost(%):
    5st9lb(28.73%)
    Diet:
    CD ss+
    Thankyou all for your kind words,
    i know what i must do i think that im also afraid that if i start before christmas then it will all go horribly wrong as i would probably come off cd for this time and then not be able to get back on the cd wagon.

    I dont know what to think anymore my heads just so full of stuff at the minute i think im onto a winner and then i just crumble.

    Thanx shell09 for your support and yes a team is a good idea as i was on one before and found that this helped but i have to get in touch with my cdc and see what she says and make an appointment to see her.i also dont want to let you down,i just feel like thats all i do lately.
    Im feeling pressure from my oh too to lose weight as he is into his fitness regime and doesnt really understand how i can have such a problem getting back to it,dont get me wrong he is supportive but i feel that he justs wants to tell me get on with it already(maybe paranoid again,a little)plus im so embarrassed about my regain and dont want to bring up the subject with anyone really.
    It doesnt help that he works long hours all weekend(16 hour days, and im here alone when the kids go to bed(just more excuses,im pathetic)

    I will be back on to let oyu know how i get on,could i maybe use the tetras and take a vitamin supplement also??just a suggestion,

    again thank you all

    Elaine
     
  8. SO MUCH TO LOSE!

    SO MUCH TO LOSE! Must do it this time

    Posts:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    19st9lb
    Current Weight:
    14st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st11lb
    Lost(%):
    5st9lb(28.73%)
    Diet:
    CD ss+
    thanx suzie,
    you are so right the more i think i have to lose the more disheartened i get(i must re-do my signature as this is not accurate)it just seems so undo-able as i have probably 9 st to lose which is a massive thing its a whole other person,my brain knows what it needs to do but i just seem to make excuses after excuses and i cant,no i wont continue like this.

    My weight has held me back for so long just from doing little things like going on carnival rides with the kids,seeing their little faces begging me to go on the ride and me refusing for the fear that i might get stuck or told that im too big and the bar wont go down so i have to get off is such a nightmare for me.or not go swimming with them i`ll just go and watch them and wish that i was in there with them all the way to not being intimate with my partner for a long time and paranoid that he might look elsewhere and that really scares me even though i think deep down he never would its always there,so i have all of these things going round in my head and still i find i cant get on the cd wagon,i feel cd is the only option for me as i have so much to lose it would drive me demented to lose 1-2lb per week especially after the losses i had on it 1st time round!

    God im really rambling again,

    SORRY

    Elaine
     
  9. Suzie_

    Suzie_ Full Member

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    'Fit' people often don't get it. I swear their brains are wired differently to mine!

    I have no automatic off-switch when it comes to food - something that I'm slowly coming to terms with. I'm always going to have a battle on my hands when it comes to saying no to another helping of lasagne, etc. I don't just eat until I'm full, I eat until I'm stuffed. :eek:

    Still, 'nuff about me... :D

    It's really tough to get back on to any diet plan when it isn't really your idea. I know you want to do this, don't get me wrong. But the real motivational force has to come from within you.

    And already, I'm hearing you say that you'll probably come off the diet at Christmas. But don't leave it as open as that.

    Make a plan so that you're in control of food, rather than allowing food to control you!

    If you know you'll want to eat at Christmas (I know I do!), plan to eat say on Christmas Day and Boxing Day only (or whatever works for you) - and then get straight back on track the next day. Two days of 'normal' eating won't undo several weeks of CD success. Those few pounds you'll gain will soon disappear within days of getting back on CD. The damage is done when you allow those 2 days of eating everything in sight to become 2 weeks of eating everything in sight (or 2 months... :))

    I know you can do this! You just have to get yourself to the place where wanting to lose weight outweighs wanting to eat anything you damn well please! God knows, that's easier said than done - but there are dozens of folks on this forum proving it can be done!
     
  10. MinnieMel

    MinnieMel Why Be Normal?

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    Start Weight:
    192lb
    Current Weight:
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    Goal Weight:
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    Lost(%):
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    Diet:
    Weight Watchers/low carb/cc
    Hi Elaine,

    We all know how you feel -- and I can only try to convince you that what you are going through is very normal. Losing the weight is so difficult, and keeping it off is even more so.
    I gained back (in about 6 months) about half of what I had lost -- and I started to feel really terrible about myself. Then I thought, "I did it once, so I know I can do it." First, I tried one thing that did not work -- and so moved on to something that is working so far. (I've been doing CD for a week now and have lost about 8 pounds.)
    Re: the frozen tetras... I think that if you consume them unthawed or quickly thereafter you should be okay. The nutrition thing would be an issue, but you will be burning gylcogen for the first few days anyway.

    Good Luck... we can do this. :winner:

    MinnieMel
     
  11. MinnieMel

    MinnieMel Why Be Normal?

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    Elaine,

    You wrote:

    Im feeling pressure from my oh too to lose weight as he is into his fitness regime and doesnt really understand how i can have such a problem getting back to it,dont get me wrong he is supportive but i feel that he justs wants to tell me get on with it already(maybe paranoid again,a little)plus im so embarrassed about my regain and dont want to bring up the subject with anyone really.

    Re: Your partner probably only wants to see you happy. It has been my experience that just because someone is into their own fitness it does not mean that they will be excessively judgemental about yours. I know it is hard to watch someone you love be so miserable, and he probably wants to help and be supportive, but it is such a minefield. My husband never mentions my diet, unless I bring it up. I suspect he thinks it is a no win situation... encourage me, and I think he does not love me as I am. Do not encourage me... and he wants me to be unhealthy and unhappy. Poor guy. :sigh:

    MinnieMel
     
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  12. SO MUCH TO LOSE!

    SO MUCH TO LOSE! Must do it this time

    Posts:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    19st9lb
    Current Weight:
    14st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st11lb
    Lost(%):
    5st9lb(28.73%)
    Diet:
    CD ss+
    Cant thank you enough girls as all this chatting has lifted me out of a dark hole,i dont go into one very often but its so out of character when i do,im usually such an outgoing bubbly person and it takes ALOT to get to me,Im not usually one to let what other people think get the better of me i do normally say stuff them but i think im just about coming to the end of my tether as far as my weight is concerned and this is the kick up the backside i really need,i should never have come off this site the support is second to none and ive always stated that when i was on here.

    Your also right about not being able to do it for anyone else i have to do it for me or else i will fail as i have before trying to do it for other people,i have to make a promise to myself to really make a conscious effort this time round and not fall at the 1st hurdle,i wouldnt mind i changed my cdc a while aga when i thought i was going to restart and she is wonderful and spent alot of time with me.compared to my last cdc she is an angel.she is also a trained councellor.

    I promise i will keep you all posted and thank you all again for all your support,

    Elaine

    you hit the nail on the head suzie my problem is how to not over indulge after the couple of days eating and not let 2 days turn into weeks.
     
  13. SO MUCH TO LOSE!

    SO MUCH TO LOSE! Must do it this time

    Posts:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    19st9lb
    Current Weight:
    14st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st11lb
    Lost(%):
    5st9lb(28.73%)
    Diet:
    CD ss+
    oh minniemel how right you are,
    you did make me laugh as you are so right hes damned if he does and hes damned if he doesnt.my oh is terrified to mention my diet as the last time he did i had blue murder with him,as you can tell im quite self conscience when it comes to him mentioning it`(moreso him than anyone else really dont know why ??).he might try to be subtle about it sometimes but i just give him a look and that puts a stop to that.

    im going to make a pros and cons list tomorrow and stick it on the fridge with a picture of me on my hols last year.

    I have to say though that when i lost all the weight last year people used to stop me in the street and tellme how great i looked and i used to be so defensive about it always saying "thanks but ive got more to lose" never being able to take a complement and i really didnt think that i looked that much different until i put back on the weight and looked back at the photos from last year,did i realise how much i actually had lost and how much my face had changed.

    Im off to bed now with alot less on my mind thanks to you all on here tonight,

    sleep well and tomorrows another day,
    onwards and downwards as they say,

    Elaine
     
  14. boardwitless

    boardwitless Silver Member

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    Start Weight:
    13st13lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st2lb
    Oh Elaine, firstly, thanks for being so honest as that has really helped me at the moment - I am just levelling off now and introducing food again, scared stiff that my old ways will kick in and 4 stones will pile back on so your experiences have given me something to think about. I'm pretty defensive too when I get compliments and brush them off when I sould be saying, 'yes, thank you, I do look good now'
    Secondly, take no notice if you think people are thinking that they knew better and expected the weight to come back - it's none of their business.
    You seem to have your head in the right place now to make a real go of it. Yes, this time around you know what's coming but you also know how fast it can come off if you butch it out and you also know the support mechanisms you can fall back on. Your CDC sounds like a godsend.
    As for the tetras, I think the latest I heard was that Cambridge were doing some research into freezing them but as so many people do it currently with no disastrous results, I wouldn't worry too much. I love them frozen
    Good luck
    xx
     
  15. Mrs Taurus

    Mrs Taurus Silver Member

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    Start Weight:
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    Goal Weight:
    12st1lb
    Lost(%):
    0st5lb(1.97%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hi Elaine, I lost weight in 2000 and kept it off til 2007 when I had my son and I lost my mum....just like you I felt worse being big second time around because I thought too much about what other people thought about my weight gain. I put on 5 stone very quickly and put off seeing people because I was so embarrassed at how much I had grown since I last saw them.

    My self-esteem was in my boots and I was very touchy about anything slighltly critical my hb said(not weight related-he's good bout that). I was just almost always unhappy......I really can't believe though how much calmer and positive I am after only 11 weeks of being in contol.
    Don't diet to seek the approval of others,diet to seek your own self-approval and then life will be a million times better- 2nd time lucky hun x
     
  16. Rudles

    Rudles Full Member

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    Start Weight:
    16st11lb
    Current Weight:
    15st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st13lb(5.53%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Elaine,

    Reading this thread has shown me that I'm not on my own here - the feelings you said about not wanting to go on fairground rides, not going swimming when you love it and getting changed in another room and not being intimate with your OH ... could have been me writing it.

    I'm currently on day 2 of a restart having lost 5st a couple of years ago. I've played with the diet on and off and, like others have said, finally realised that I have to do this for me. My OH daren't mention my weight to me as, like you, I take it more personally from him than anyone else. I'm determined to be strong this time and at present am working towards my work's Christmas dinner and then Christmas. I had considered taking that week off CD but am now thinking about just the couple of days - will think about that one further.

    You can do this, especially with this site to support you. Know that we're here for you xxx
     
  17. ApplySomePressure

    ApplySomePressure Silver Member

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    17st8lb
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    14st2.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st7lb
    Lost(%):
    3st5.5lb(19.31%)
    Diet:
    Calorie Counting
    Hi elaine,

    Hope you are feeling a bit better about things. I dont' think there is a golden time for CD BUT I do think that the first time is by far the easiest ( this is coming from a fellow restarter who has put it all back on!). Look at it like that - you are not destined to fail because it is a restart, it might just require a bit more focus and determination. You can do it, you've done it before. As someone else said planning is crucial with xmas, don't say i'll stop for christmas, say i'll stop for x number of days and stick to your plan. Enjoy the days off and get straight back on it.
     
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  19. Lexie_dog

    Lexie_dog UNLEASHING THE BEAST!

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    Lost(%):
    0st3.5lb(1.57%)
    Diet:
    SW, minimal bread!
    First time is golden time, but it doesn't mean that the other times won't work.

    The secret to success isn't never failing, its in picking yourself up each time you fall.
     
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