i'v some confessions.

Littleslimmingbee

Littleslimmingbee

Gold Member
i didnt book aqufit like i said i would. Its now monday and it starts tonight.

Last wednesday i went to pizza hut for lunch, i had tom pasta and salad to begin with, as wanted to stay good. But ended up eating 5 slices of pizza, plus colslaw.

wednesday eve after WI i had fajitas. I ate loads of sour cream, and it was that crispy faijita pack..

then i ate some brownies with double thick cream for after.

- and then a snickers.

then, thursday. Because i was feeling so low. i secretly ate the rest of the brownies. . There were about 10.

.. and a millies cookie.

then i went to nandos for lunch on friday.
I had half a chicken, corn on cob and rice. As good as poss but i doubt free.
and i had that fat free frozen yoghurt for afters.

Then i went to Coal for lunch on saturday. Chicken skewers with basmati rice and lots of medeterianian veg. sounds free but doubt it.
and i had a lot of bbq sauce with it.


:cry:

:break_diet: cannot figure out what is wrong with me this week. its like i just dont care, but i do. i really do, and i really want to shift some wieght. :(
 
FernXx said:
i didnt book aqufit like i said i would. Its now monday and it starts tonight.

Last wednesday i went to pizza hut for lunch, i had tom pasta and salad to begin with, as wanted to stay good. But ended up eating 5 slices of pizza, plus colslaw.

wednesday eve after WI i had fajitas. I ate loads of sour cream, and it was that crispy faijita pack..

then i ate some brownies with double thick cream for after.

- and then a snickers.

then, thursday. Because i was feeling so low. i secretly ate the rest of the brownies. . There were about 10.

.. and a millies cookie.

then i went to nandos for lunch on friday.
I had half a chicken, corn on cob and rice. As good as poss but i doubt free.
and i had that fat free frozen yoghurt for afters.

Then i went to Coal for lunch on saturday. Chicken skewers with basmati rice and lots of medeterianian veg. sounds free but doubt it.
and i had a lot of bbq sauce with it.


:cry:

:break_diet: cannot figure out what is wrong with me this week. its like i just dont care, but i do. i really do, and i really want to shift some wieght. :(
Click to expand...

Sweetie!!! Ok, so you've had a bad week but so WHAT? You know this plan inside out and stood on your head - you're one of my biggest inspirations on here. And you were in the SOTY running!!!

I know it is bad to have these periods of time and I know I'd feel rubbish too, but you know you can sort this out and you know whatever damage you may have done will be fixable.

You're here looking for a way to sort it out which shows the worst is over with. Just draw a line under it and start fresh from NOW.

You're brilliant and determined and HUMAN so smile honey and always bear in mind how far you've come. Plus, we all need a week off now and then - maybe this will have got it out of system xxxx
 
Thank you so much guys.
I just feel worse, more than anything about how i feel. I dish out advise to so many others on here, and yet the only thing i could think about after i'd eaten those brownies was that i was disgusted with myself for secretly eating, and not only that but even more disgusted that all i wanted to do after was be sick.
I feel a bit lost at the minute, and i even concidered trying to not go to Wi on wednesday so i could try and get my ass in gear. . and i would have never suggested that to anyone else, nor would i have even contemplated it in the past,
i feel so different this week.. :cry:
 
I have a 4 yaer old bugging me right now but what others have said is totally right. Dont be so hard on yourself sweetie. A PP asked if there has been anything change in your life that may have made u feel naff?
 
Hey Hun I hope you feel better and that you go to WI, I feel very off keel at the moment too and can't seem to stick with my diet but I am blaming the weather!!!!

You will be just fine, just draw a line under it and if you feel like doing something similiar in the future remind yourself how you felt after eating those brownies it will help you from repeating the experience.

On Saturday I had a ring donut for breakfast why? I have no idea but I know if I went back to Saturday morning I wouldn't have. Or saturday afternoon and the incident with the carte dior chocolate ice cream!! lol I know that I felt dissapointed in myself and I hope that this will help spur me on to more success. x
 
Me and my mum have been having problems recently and things have been quite hostile. It has deeply hurt me because we have been so close and i feel like im loosing my best friend. We have tried to agree to put it all behind us, but thus this means ignoring what she is doing and watching her hurt herself in the long term. it has been very difficult for me.
Also, i came off the injection (contraceptive) 6 months ago and have since been waiting for a period. I was on it for 3 years.. i thought i'd come on last thurs and was in awful pain, but i bled for one day and have had nothing since, but still feel drained and have aches and pains.. so i have the doctors tomorrow.
my skin has flared up, i have exma all over my face, neck and arms ( always get it when i am stressed ) and its really painful, and obvs i cannot wear make up which has been making me feel a bit icky and ugly.
amoungst other things i am a bit stressed about my job situation, i currently have a temp job that ends in dec which i enjoy, and i am looking forward to starting my new sales and marketing job in jan, and think it could be a platform to better things for my age.. but my oh disagrees with the personal saftey risk that it gives (its face to face marketing, which means i will be entering peoples homes). i understand the concern and i too am uneasy about it, but if i dont take the risk it could take me twice as long to get anywhere decent with my life.. i know i am young, but i want to make somthing of myself now. iv already wasted time (well not wasted but still) training to be a hairdresser and barber only to dicover i dislike the industry and dont want to work within a salon and money is crap!


ooft.

sorry, lots of crap. finding it all a bit poo, and the added pressure of knowing i need to shift a few pounds is a bit much on top of it all.

I am at target yes. BUT i dont want to have to get back down to target in the new year, i dont want to start the new year over my target, because if i take the marketing job, i will no longer be able to make it to sw. :( *gutted* i want to be 5 lbs less than target, so that i can enjoy myself and begin the year with maybe only 1 or 2 pounds over my target weight, not half a stone plus..



okay, turning into an essay now ! sorry.. x
 
never apologise for posting hun - it's good to get it written down! I'm by no means an expert and you've had some great replies already but just think you could have had that bad week, not posted about it and therefore not admitted to it! It's done now, line drawn and back to it! Here's a sparkly line if you like

*******************************************

xxxx
 
Fern thats loads of things!! No wonder you feel like crap! Hugs. I am so sorry to read that you and your mum are havign a rough time. Its so hard.

I would recommend going to the docs to ask about the implant. After 6 months I wouldve expected things to settle down and you to be regular now. :( your hormones from that thing has messed with your body. (I just got mine out too!)

Job stuff is stressful too. Changing jobs is one of the main causes of stress for anyone. Try to focus on the positive.

And, lastly, (still got 4 yo 'helping' me with comp so gotta be quick) 5lbs isnt alot to lose before christmas. This one week wont prevent you from doing it. You CAN do it ad you know you can. :)

Im not too far from you! Im in little stoke! Maybe you'll come knockin gon my door - I promise to be nice.
 
Hey fern
It sounds as though everything is up in the air at the mo. Please try not to be to hard on yourself, as the others say draw a line under it. Remember your huge achievements and dont let anything else get in the way of that. FORGIVE YOURSELF so it was a few brownies and stuff, i bet you have had months of brilliant weeks!!!!
Re the family issues . I too get those and they can be so difficult to deal with. Sometimes you do have to either walk away for a while and accept that they have to do their stuff and you yours (or else you can go mad/ eat yourself silly) or be there for them but always remember that you cannot stop them from harming theselves.
You dont go into details but i wondered if it was the type of problem that may have a support group attached to it like AL anon for those families struggling with alcohol or sane for mental health probs.

When I am stuck like this I always try to get a grip with either drinking water or a key meal first. I then build on that success plus loads of PMA.
You can do it!!!!
Sending you a virtual hug!
Caro
 
Thanks guys.

i REALLY appriciate what you'v all said, and as always, it makes tonnes of sence!!
Deffinatly going to talk to doc tomorrow and see what she says, if shes not all that helpful il visit the sexual health clinic thats round the corner.

im hoping it'l all settle down a bit soon and i'l be able to start relaxing and enjoy the run up to christmas, and hopfully loosing a few pounds too.

the problem with my mum is a toughy. She seperated from her 3rd hubby back in feb, he was mean and nasty and did and thought of some disturbing things, he ruined our family home and destroyed my yonger siblings confidence aswell as my mums. he was intolerable to say the least. It has been difficult for her, but she is struggling to let go, and long story short, has been secretly seeing him. She is messing with his mind as much as he is hers, as she knows deep down it can never work, and that she can do better. shes desperatly lonley, and is scared she will end up alone, but she is wasting time with him when she could be spending it with herself, and then maybe even finding someone new.

it's her life, but i worry that with his manipulative ways, he could end up back here, and thus i worry about the children and my mum. i try to be supportive but she has been so sneaky and has lied, which also upset me as i tell her, or used to.. everything.

i have decided its time i seperated myself from the situation, and me and OH has decided to start getting oober serious about saving and move out at the end of next year into our own home. which is a bit quicker than we wanted but living at home on top of eveyrthing else is very difficult and we need our own space but do not want to rent.

so anywho..


one day at a time.. here i go :)


Thanks guys..


p.s, can we make that sparkley line a pink one?


**********************************
 
Your idea of separating yourself from your mum's problems is very sensible, as she is the only one to be in control of what she does.

You have your own life to lead and it will be great when you can move out.

Irene xx
 
MrsDetermined said:
Fern
I would recommend going to the docs to ask about the implant. After 6 months I wouldve expected things to settle down and you to be regular now. :( your hormones from that thing has messed with your body. (I just got mine out too!)

Job stuff is stressful too. Changing jobs is one of the main causes of stress for anyone. Try to focus on the positive.

.
Click to expand...

I cam off the injection in February and 9 months later my cycle is still not back to normal. I have had 3 periods, 6 weeks apart then 2 weeks apart. I have also found it impossible to lose weight no matter what I eat, which apparently is normal, and have been really low, which apparently is typical of someone coming of the injection. Makes you realise what you were pumping in to your body. So i think the way you have been feeling is totally normal for someone coming off the injection. Or so my nurse keeps reassuring me. She also told me the quickest way to get your body regular again is to go on the pill, but after the injection, felt like my body had enough extra hormones to contend with.

It sounds like you are putting yourself under too much extra pressure with your weight, trying to be a lot slimmer than you need to be. Take your foot off the pedal and spend some time looking after yourself, and being kind to yourself.

Lynda
 
You go girl!!

I was in a relationship with a maniac some yrs ago and he messed with my head. Thankfully I saw him for what he was before i got too entrenched and sucuumbed to his mean and nasty ways.
I would say that all you can do is repeatedly reassure your mum that she wont be alone and that she will meet other people. it can be a long hard hike back to self confidence and esteem tho'.
Drop me a line if you need an ear to spout too.
Caro
 
Dear, dear Fern, you're SUCH a lovely person, wise way beyond your years. I do so feel for what you're going through - it's all FAR too much at your age. When I think how simple my life is by comparison...

I tend to agree with Kristin about renting. I know it seems like 'money down the drain' which could be helping to pay off a mortgage, but it is such a HUGE commitment, and you should be having FUN as well at your age - remember you're only young once, and you're old for such a long time... Providing that you reassure your mum that you're not abandoning her, and that you will continue to love and support her whatever decisions she makes (and ONLY she can make them), it could be the best solution for both of you - YOU NEED THAT SPACE.

As for the diet, draw ANY coloured sparkly line under it, and take things just one day at a time. You've done it before, and you CAN do it again.

Do hope that things start to move in your favour very soon, you really cannot carry on under this much pressure for very long. Sending you VERY BEST WISHES, Roz.
 
Thanks guys. I totally understand what you mean about renting, how ever OH has been bought up to never rent and always jump on the property ladder as soon as you can. Also my Oh would like to save well enough to buy a house we really really want, and spend the time and effort decorating it and making it our home, than renting and it never being ours and all the limitations that come with it. I would like to rent, and then eventually own our own but he's very sensible and theres not atlking him round! I know he's only thinking of a stable future for us. He is very supportive of the problems at home, and i was sooo proud of him when i came home and heard that he'd sat my mum down and told her how he felt, what he felt needed to be done and that although he apprciates how she feels and on certain things agrees, that she shouldnt be saying things to me about my weight, or how i look after my OH .. :eek: Bless him.

I was good yesterday, and i plan to be again today. lots of fruits and fluids to detox my body and get me feeling a bit brighter! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
How ya doing today ???? keep your chin up. I read what kristen said and se has a point, there is nothing wrong with renting and you could get something nice where you get the chance to walk away from the whole family thing yet it could be close enough to see your mum as well. At one point my family were upto similar things and it was just like an episode of eastenders. Try to see the funny side of it all if you can cos it helped me in the past.
with best wishes
caro
 
Hey Hun I am glad you are feeling better and I hope that today will bring more light at the end of the tunnel. Keep you chin up xxx
 
glad to see you're feeling better today. Hugs.

If you ever wanted to meet up, let me know.
 
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