I've found my trigger.........

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Corey, 17 March 2008 Social URL.

  1. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    and it's my OH!!!

    Before meeting my OH I weighed 10 stone (we've been together 10 years in November, and our third Civil Partnership anniversary on this coming Christmas Eve).

    It's only just dawned on me that whenever I feel neglected (he works long hours, and so I am usually on my own for about 4 hours in an evening before I go to pick him up), or whenever I have a conversation with him, and he doesn't listen to what I am saying, I reach for the sweet stuff.

    It dawned on me when I phoned him just a minute ago to say that the radiator in the guest room is being replaced tomorrow - his response was make sure they replace the valve, and even after I said a second time that they are replacing the whole unit, he still said make sure they replace the valve. I got so frustrated that I told him I was going to go and eat cake, hung up went into the kitchen, got the cake, opened the lid and sniffed. It would have been so easy to have just picked up what was left and shovelled it in! How I resisted temptation I don't know because my will power ain't that great.

    Still at least I know what my trigger is now, but to be honest was not expecting it to be what I discovered it to be!
     
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  3. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    woo.. well done for figuring it out..!!!!!!

    *goes off dreaming bout cake..*.. hehe..

    You've got a fab weight loss so far.. well done honey..

    x x x
     
  4. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

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    you are not alone on that one corey.
    I have realised that my DH does that to me too.
    I have managed to learn to deal with it, otherwise I would just be sitting and eating cake all day every day :rolleyes:
    Sounds like you are on the right track, working out what triggers these episodes is half the battle.
     
  5. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    oooh.. i just noticed you got civilried (the word me and my mates use for civil partnership..) on christmas eve.. that reminds me of friends.. when phobea got married.. with the snow and stuff.. aaaaaw...

    x x
     
  6. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    I like the civilried - will try to remember to use that one myself.

    It may have been Christmas Eve when we civilried but it was glorious sunshine and pretty mild - oh well joys of living in the south I guess!
     
  7. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    hehe.. its cos it annoys us that you can say married.. like.. what are people are a civil partnershiped.. so its civilried.. hehe..

    x x
     
  8. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    I think it's good that you can see your trigger - least you know what part of you you're fighting against ---- good piece of analysis there Corey.
     
  9. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Well done Corey! I have seen how much that cake has been tempting you and yet you still passed it up!!! Well done!!!

    Yes, our partners certainly can be our triggers!!! I know at times mine can be!!! :)
     
  10. peachesuk3

    peachesuk3 Full Member

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    Hi Corey :)
    That has got me thinking!
    I expected the trigger to be a particular type of food :doh: you know..one that starts the old binge process.
    I haven't thought about a situation or a particular person, so that's food for thought (pardon the pun :rolleyes: )

    Take care and you were so strong to say no to the cake!
    :p
     
  11. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    Thanks Peaches.

    Had a chat with my OH last night about him being a trigger, but doubt anything will change!! Except me of course, just gotta keep reminding myself that the only person I am losing weight for is me, so won't let anyone prevent me from doing what I have set out to achieve.
     
  12. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    Kitteh, thought I would let you know that I used your "civilried" term today in a book I am writing - hope you don't mind?
     
  13. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    thats quite alright.. i have quite a few friends who have civil partnership. and we couldnt figure out what to say.. so therefore.. the word was born.. hehe
    whats your book on?

    x x
     
  14. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    I'm writing a diary whilst we go through the adoption process. There are plenty of books out there for mixed sex couples on adoption, but very few for same sex couples. I was inspired by a diary that one woman wrote whilst she and her husband adopted.
     
  15. Tinley

    Tinley Full Member

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    Interesting that you have sussed your trigger, Corey. It's made me realize that I do the same sometimes - almost as if I am punishing my OH for his behaviour by not losing weight. This would make sense if he had ever said that he wanted me to lose weight (although I suppose he does compliment me more when I am thinner). Also, there is no way he would ever realize that I was punishing him by eating, so all I'm actually doing is punishing myself!

    Thanks, Corey, for making me realize what a dipstick I am :-D
     
  16. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    Thats absaloutly fantastic.. It would be interesting to compare it to a hetrosexual couple adopting.. I am a cynic.. hehe.. i dont believe that gay/lesbian have total equality.. and it annoys me.. lol.. Honestly.. dont get me on my soap box.. cos i may not come off it.. hehe..
    Your book sounds like a brilliant idea.. Its so considerate of you..

    x x x
     
  17. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    The process is so long winded and confusing that if it helps someone else who is going through the process at a later date see the process through to the end then it will be worth the effort. It is a shame that many people still see homosexuality as a sin and consider it a lifestyle choice. They do not realise that we have urges and desires too, and some of us long to be parents. Now I'm about to join you on that soapbox, so I had better shut up. But thanks for the support.
     
  18. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    Absaloutely.. They do not see the urges and desires.. and that they are actually people with feelings.. and needs.. and wants.. and desires..
    One of my best mates who has been with her girlfriend for like.. sooo long.. still feels as though she cant go out with her.. into public without people either saying that shes disgusting.. or some sort of vulgar comment.. its terrible.. eeeeh honestly..
    I think its really good that you're doing this book.. When did you apply? or when are you applying to adopt?

    x x x
     
  19. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    We had our first meeting with the Social Worker at the beginning of February - we are almost at the end of the second stage - all the checks are being done at the moment, and we had our medicals last week. We have our 4 days of parenting seminars at the end of April, and then our formal application has to be made, which means more forms being filled in - aarrghhh! We've done so many forms already the thought of doing another is just........well........aarrgghh!!
     
  20. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    You hang in there Corey, it'll be worth it in the end! I think it is fantastic what you are doing, one of my friends has just adopted a little 5 year old lad, and he is the cutest thing you could see, my friend has never been so fulfilled or happy - you will be too!!
     
  21. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    Thanks Greenockgal - I am so excited by the whole thing, but time just seems to be moving SOOOOOO slowly. Still we'll get there in the end
     
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